Things I love in this world
by Gaaralovesmeonly
Summary: Harry's life is hard, but when he suffers another loss, he is pushed to the edge and intends to be killed at Voldemorts hand to end everything he hates in the world. But something unexpected happens. Harry-Voldemort Slash
1. Unconscious Fears

**Chapter 1: Unconscious Fears**

**If you are reading this, you are awesome. ;)**

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. That was all J.K. Rowling. Don't sue.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; GUY ON GUY ACTION; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

"Speech"

'Whispered speech'

_/Parseltongue/_

_Thoughts_

_"Thoughts from other person through link"_

**_Spells_**

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><p>"Because of You<br>I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
>Because of You<br>I learned to play on the safe-side so I don't get hurt  
>Because of You<br>I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around  
>Because of You<br>I am afraid"

-_Because of You _by Kelly Clarkson

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><p>Harry's head popped off his pillow and he stifled a scream trying to erupt from his throat. His heavy panting soon slowed to prevent himself from hyperventilating. <em>I should be used to these nightmares by now. But that one was so…real…<em>he thought. He hadn't had a decent night's rest for too long now. His friends were beginning to worry about him, but he would brush them off. They knew as well as he what position he was in, yet they never seemed to comprehend how he suffered. His nightmares had always been annoying, but lately they were not about the past of future or even the present. Harry closed his emerald eyes and tried to remember his dream, but it evaded him. Not that he _wanted_ to relive the terrible dream, but it's hard to explain to others why he only sleeps about half the night when he doesn't remember what woke him in the first place.

He knew for sure another would happen if he tried to sleep again. Normally, he would look out his window and imagine how different his life would be as someone else, but he didn't see any light indicating there was a window nearby. _Where am I? My room with Ron at the Burrow has a window, and at Hogwarts as well. So if not the Burrow, or Hogwarts, that means…_he sighed inwardly…_crap._ He raised his hand trying to feel for the ceiling of his tiny room under the stairs that his horrid aunt had forced him back into. Apparently Vernon had decided to turn it into some kind of sitting room, but he knew they just loved to make his life a living hell. Sure enough, the ceiling met his hand. He growled and cursed under his breath.

After lying down again and staring into the darkness for what seemed like hours, but were actually only a few minutes, Harry heard some shuffling above him and a familiar creak of the squeaky step on the stairs. He figured his pig of a cousin was craving a late-night snack or something. The shuffling continued around to the front of his door, then stopped. Harry's heart hammered in his chest and he quickly pretended to be asleep. His door opened and moonlight spilled onto his closed eyes. Suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him up. Harry's eyes shot open and widened at the man he saw before him. His uncle, half dressed with only his sleeping pants on, had a familiar look in his eyes as he stared back into large green ones filled with fear. Vernon cracked a wicked smile as whispered words fell off his tongue but never made their way to Harry's ears. His eyes only seemed to make out mouthed words. _I'm using you, Harry. You know what I need…_ Tears erupted from Harry's eyes. _No. It can't be. Not again. _He squeezed his eyes shut and screamed for someone to help him.

Harry's head shot off his pillow once more. _Damn. Another bloody nightmare._ He didn't remember falling asleep again, but he obviously had. He checked his surroundings once more to verify that he wasn't back in that hell-hole. He was, thankfully, at the Burrow and Ron was still fast asleep on the bed next to him. The window across the room was filled with the light of the sun that would soon rise. With his breathing back to normal and his nerves some-what calmed, he laid his head back on his pillow and awaited the rising of the sun.

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><p><strong>Rate and Review? Please? That would be awesome. This <strong>_**is **_**my first story. I would love any kind of feedback. Sorry this is kind of short, but I have already written more chapters so if you like it, you won't have to wait long. M'kay thanks. :)**


	2. A Disturbance in the Force

**Chapter 2: A Disturbance in the Force**

**Yay! Thanks for not quitting at the first chapter. I know I said I would only upload one chapter, but I can't help it! I just NEEDED to post this chapter right now. So enjoy! :)**

**Note: Harry Potter is not mine! I wish it was, but it's not. It belongs to J.. Don't sue!**

**WARNING: THIS IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; BOY ON BOY ACTION; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

"Speech"

'Whispered speech'

_/Parseltongue/_

_Thoughts_

_"Thoughts from other person through link"_

**_Spells_**

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><p>"It's not a cry that you hear at night<p>

It's no somebody who's seen the light

It's a cold, and it's a broken Hallelujah"

-_Hallelujah_ by Jeff Buckley

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I was halfway asleep when I felt it. A little tingle of panic in the back of my head. It was small and insignificant, but I was a light sleeper, so I could _not_ get back to sleep unless it went away. This little tingle was about as irritating as Pettigrew and his insufferable whining. I rolled my eyes at the thought. The little tingle began to calm a bit, thank Merlin. I closed my eyes and ran through my day once more. Not that it was exactly a day filled with fun, or _progress_, but I always find that I notice things when I do this that I happened to skip over when I actually lived it. It proves quite helpful to a Dark Lord.

After I had started my morning, and finished my breakfast (yes even _Dark Lords_ have to eat), Lucius entered with Narcissa and Draco to say greetings before they went along with their day. I know it was just an attempt to "suck-up" to me, but I couldn't help but feel like they relied on me to start their day properly. An evil smile made onto my face when I thought to myself _I feel like they worship me. This is just part of their daily ritual._ A look closer into my replay showed that Draco's proper business face showed a hint of fear. I smiled to myself knowing the affect I had on people, but noted that I would have to be sure not to scare him too much more. When weak followers become too scared, they tend to start doing things behind my back to feel safe again. As the Malfoy clan left, I could see Draco exhale in relief to be leaving. Later I was in my study, brushing up on some ancient spells I thought would be useful, and practicing them wandless and/or wordless. One that particularly caught my eye was _**Vivamus intercessiones**_. It apparently sent electrical currents through the victim's body. Doesn't sound like much, especially considering it doesn't hurt at all when hit, but theoretically the oh-so-talented-and-practiced caster is supposed to be able to control their movements and brain functions with it. Obviously it would take more practice than I have time for, but it is a neat little spell. I suppose now, it sounds an awful lot like the Imperious curse, but it still would be nice to watch someone lose control of their motor functions, if only for a few minutes. Later on I had another meeting with my Death Eaters that was _oh-so_ productive. We discussed and revised most of our attack plans, again. It was uneventful, if not purpose-less and…

There is the tingle again. I opened my eyes and sighed. _And just when I thought the irritating sensation was gone for good… _How very inconvenient. And right in the middle of my run-through. _What was causing it?_ _I know it isn't actual panic from my own head. _I pondered a moment more before a thought came to me. _Potter…_ I closed my eyes once more and focused on where the tingle was coming from. With a slight mental nudge against it, I felt something there. A thought squeezed out for me to think. _"Damn. Another bloody nightmare." _Definitely Potter. Insufferable brat, keeping me up at night with his nightmares (yes, Dark Lords _sleep _too). He finally settled down and I fell asleep.

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><p><strong><span>So? What do you think? Rate and review! It would mean A LOT to me. :)<span>**

**Next chapter in progress, but it is close to being done, so no worrying (if you're anything like me, once you start a story you just can't wait to read on hehehe). M'kay thanks. :)**


	3. Breaking Point

**Chapter 3: Breaking Point**

**Aw! Thanks for Favoriting my story guys! It really means a lot to me. And I decided to make this chapter longer just for you. Yay! **

**Dear Twilight Chick 01: Thanks for your comment. :) I'm glad you like it. I was totally thinking of Darth Vader when I called it that. Hehehe. **

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. That was all J.K. Rowling. I only own this story. :)**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; BOY ON BOY; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

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><p>"Summer has come and passed<br>The innocent can never last  
>Wake me up when September ends<br>Like my father's come to pass  
>Seven years has gone so fast<br>Wake me up when September ends  
>Here comes the rain again<br>Falling from the stars  
>Drenched in my pain again<br>Becoming who we are  
>As my memory rests<br>But never forgets what I lost  
>Wake me up when September ends"<p>

-_When September Ends_ by Green Day

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

My life is a mess. It's always been that way. If I wasn't getting abused by my crappy muggle "family", I was busy diving head-first into the war against my own will. And if I wasn't doing that, I was being yelled at for not doing that. Recently, it's been more of the last one. I absolutely hated this stupid war more than anything else. Not only was I dragged into this war at _ELEVEN_ YEARS OF AGE, but I was also expected to be the one to single-handedly win it. That is a lot to take in, and even though I've known about it for 6, soon to be seven, years I still can't believe it. A constant topic of my scolding happens to be how I am against people risking their lives for me. They say it's selfish to think it's for me, when it's actually "for the cause". _I _am their cause. Without me, they think they would lose the battle. Hell, they might even _surrender._ In my view, people are risking their lives, but they are doing so for the bloody boy-who-lived, not Harry Potter. I should make a list of things I hate most in this world.

_Thing I hate the most in this world:_

_This bloody fucking war_

_Being the Boy-Who-Lived/Savior/Chosen One_

_Uncle Vernon_

I thought a moment more. As of right now, that's pretty much it. Even though I feel like I could smite the whole world right now, I know I'm just tired. I'm not actually one who hates easily, but those three things have _more_ than proven to make my life worse at every turn. In my mind, I could actually kill two of them with one swoop by just killing myself. But that damn whale of an Uncle would still be alive and well. Sure, I could never bring myself to kill anything, even my bloody evil Uncle, but I was different. For some reason I felt I could easily bring a knife to my throat, or a wand to my head with an **Avada Kedavra**. I know that sounds bad, but I promise I'm not as suicidal as I seem… Or maybe I am, but not in that way. Even though this bloody war is the bane of my existence, I would risk my life in it. That is the Gryffindor inside me talking, of course. I used to run straight into anything, but now even that has been taken away. Yes, it's dangerous. Yes, it's stupid. But (and I _HATE_ to play this card) I'm the bloody boy-who-won't-die. What makes them think that I would die now?

Scratch that last question. My friends think I'm _COMPLETELY_ suicidal because of… well basically everything I just said. I'm not really trying to kill myself. I just want to get this whole thing over with. But that's another thing. Everyone wants the war to end so everything will go "back to normal", but I never had a normal. I don't know what I'll do after the war, if I'm alive. And by "alive" I mean "won the war". And that is about the point in that thought where I think _Screw it. I might not even be alive._ I know for a fact Voldemort will kill me, if not one of his Death Eaters who hate me. And if that didn't mean I'd completely failed at the one task I was born for, I would probably let them. I just can't let everyone down though. Not Hermione, or Ron, or the Order, or Dumbledore, or even all those wizards I don't even know that are relying on me to save them. And I have to do it for all those who gave their lives as well. I don't want them to have died in vain…

The sun finally was up in the sky, so I sat up in bed and pushed away the thoughts I was just having. I was about to wake up Ron, but I decided against it. _He deserves to sleep I guess._ I got out of bed and quietly got ready, then headed down to the kitchen to see who was up. No one was there. The kitchen was still messy from yesterday, so I took it upon myself to clean it up. Ms. Weasley always told me I didn't have to worry about cleaning anything, but after living in that hell-hole with Uncle Vermin (spelling intended), my wicked Aunt Petunia, and my pig cousin Dudley, it was a habit I always had to give into, even now. The pile of dishes by the sink was dirty from last night's dinner, and the countertops were covered with some sort of sauce. _What did we have for dinner yesterday? I can hardly remember._ I shrugged and started on the dishes the muggle way, since I can never remember the spell for it. About halfway through, Ms. Weasley woke up and came into the kitchen.

"Harry James Potter, what on Earth do you think you are doing?"

I smiled and dried my hands off, knowing I wouldn't be able to continue. "I was just cleaning the dishes. They were dirty, so I figured you could use some help…"

"Harry, I don't need any help. I'm just fine, dear." She gave me one of her motherly smiles that always made me feel so loved and patted my cheek. "Now. Run along and wake up Ron. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be late for breakfast, and Merlin knows how long it is to wake him so close to school starting again…"

I laughed knowing just how right she was. "Yes, ma'am." I smiled and went back into our room. Ron hadn't budged an inch from when I had last seen him. His bright red hair was strewn about him, hiding much of his face, and his arms made it seem like him look like one of those chalk outlines of dead bodies in those really old muggle movies. "Ron, wake up." I shook his shoulders hard, but he just groaned and turned the other way. I sighed, "Come _on _Ron. You can't sleep all day. You'll get hungry eventually." I sat on the edge of his bed, planning ways to wake him up. Yesterday, I let Fred and George wake him with one of their noise buzzers and a bucket of cold water. His face was priceless. "Ron, don't make me get Fred and George in here again…" Ron tensed for a moment on his bed.

"You wouldn't…"

"Try me. You know how they _love_ to try out their new inventions, especially on you."

Ron groaned before sitting up. "Aw Harry, I couldn't get five more minutes?"

"No. Because your five minutes is more like twenty" I retorted. I smiled and nudged his arm. "Anyways, you don't want to be late for breakfast."

He grinned. "Yea. I'm starvin'." He pushed his legs off the bed and stood.

"Ok, good. I'll be outside. And _don't you dare_ go back to sleep."

"I won't, _mother._"

We both laughed and I left the room to go outside. The day was already warming up, though it was still a bit chilly. I always enjoyed watching how the morning changed everything outside. The once dark sky would lighten into pink and orange, then fade into blue. I never understood why the sky changed colors, too much science for me, but I did always enjoy watching the change. The mornings were always so peaceful, unlike the day when everyone is bustling about, or even the night with Bill, Fred, and George snoring. I never want to make a noise for fear I might interrupt the peace. It was nice sometimes to just get away from everything, even if only for a moment.

Ron came and sat beside me. "Hey mate, what'cha doing?"

"I'm just enjoying the peace. It's nice sometimes, ya' know."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Ginny came to tell us breakfast was almost ready. She was as beautiful as ever with the morning sun reflecting off her silky red hair and her eyes filled with happiness. Of course, we weren't into each other anymore, mostly because the whole saving-her-life-from-Tom-Riddle feelings wore off. We decided to stay friends, but every now and then I remember just why I had liked her in the first place. She was so…stable, like nothing could affect her. I admired that about her, being almost the exact opposite from me. I was so unstable. Every loss I suffered only increased that. I hated being so vulnerable.

"You coming, Harry?" Ron asked from the doorway.

"Yea. Sorry. Lost in thought." I joined Ron and we went to eat breakfast, my thoughts being pushed to the back of my mind again.

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><p>We finished breakfast and went outside to wait for Hermione to arrive with Luna and Neville. Luna and Neville had been "really good friends" for quite a while now, and so Hermione has been trying to convince Neville to ask her out on a date, but he has been a little nervous. And by a little, I mean he would absolutely freak every time he thought about it, so it was still a work in progress. It was quite funny to watch, actually. His face would go red and his eyes would dilate and widen. I chuckled to myself remembering the last time it happened.<p>

"Hey Harry," Ron looked a bit nervous.

"Yea Ron? What's wrong?"

"'Mione is always on time. She's never usually this late. What do you think is taking her so long?"

"She's probably just talking to Neville again about Luna. You know how _well_ that always goes."

We both chuckled a bit. "Yea, I guess" Ron said, "I just…something's off. I can feel it. Maybe I'm just worrying too much."

"Hermione might be rubbing off on you, Ron." I smiled trying to ease his worrying. "I'm sure that it's nothing to be-"

A scream rang out in the distance, silencing whatever I was going to say. Ron and I looked at each other and ran over to where we heard the scream. We had recognized the sound. It was like a knife running through my ears and stabbing my heart. Time slowed down in my mind. Ron and I couldn't run fast enough. We needed to get there now, but our legs could only move in slow motion. Tears were running down Ron's cheeks, and he knew he was right. Something was terribly wrong. We didn't hear any more noise come from the field after that scream, but Ron and I kept running towards the source. One word repeatedly erupted from Ron's throat, hoarse and frightened, but loud and urgent. I felt like I could barely hear it over the adrenaline loudly pumping in my ears and the thumps of my feet hitting the ground, but it rang through the now quiet field.

"HERMIONE! HERMIONE! HERMIONE!"

Time suddenly went back to normal and we made it to a beat up body of Hermione leaning over something. Hermione back was slightly moving, as she looked over the lump in her lap. Ron immediately ran over to her side, but I stayed back staring at the lump in her lap. Ruffled black hair stuck out, blood crusted and greasy. Hermione turned her head onto Ron's shoulder and her quiet sobbing continued. Ron was also looking at the mangled body.

"Bloody 'ell…Neville?"

I walked over to face Hermione and crouched down in front of her. Neville was bruised, pale, and sweaty even though his skin was clammy. His nose had dried blood all around it and his breathing was shallow, but he was breathing. We were immediately surrounded by the rest of the Weasley family, lifting up Neville and helping us up to get back to the safety of the Burrow. Right before I was in front of the door I froze coming to a sudden realization.

"Hermione…" I asked quietly, "Where…where's Luna?"

I heard Hermione behind me let out a small whimper. I turned and faced her, my face full of anger of an unknown origin. Fury was building inside of me and I clenched my fists to keep from yelling back.

"WHERE'S LUNA?"

Hermione's scared eyes filled with more tears as she covered her mouth and shook her head. Everyone continued inside, but I stood by the doorway. Luna was….what? What had happened to them? I leaned against the side of the house and lid down to the ground, knowing this was somehow my fault.

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><p>After a few minutes I got up and went inside. Hermione was calmer now and healed, but her eyes were still bloodshot and scared. Ron had a hand on her shoulder, trying to reassure her.<p>

"Just tell us what happened, 'Mione."

She took a shaky breath before starting. "We were walking through Diagon Alley, like we always do before coming here. Luna said someone was following us, so we went and hid in on the side of a shop, but someone grabbed us and apparated us somewhere. It was dark and I could hardly see a thing. Neville started screaming next to me, and someone hit me with a Cruciatus Curse. All of us were screaming. When they let go of the curse on me, I grabbed my wand, then Neville and Luna and was about to apparate out, but someone grabbed Luna, and I only made it back with…" she started sobbing again.

My fists were shaking and my eyes went blurry and red. They _TOOK LUNA._ And Merlin only knows what they are doing to her. She might even be…_No! Not another person lost. Not for me._ What the bloody hell would they want with Luna? Did they just love taking my friends from me? I squeezed my eyes shut to keep my anger under control and tears poured out. My knees hit the ground with a loud thump and I punched the floor with all of my might. Somebody had their hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, Harry. We'll find her and…"

"NO!" I screamed. This was the final straw. I won't let them take anyone from me anymore. That was it. "IT'S _NOT _OKAY! THEY CAN'T TAKE ANYONE ELSE AWAY FROM ME! NOT ANYMORE! I CAN'T LOSE ANY ONE ELSE! I CAN'T…" my voice cracked. I punched the floor again. My anger slowly disappeared, sorrow in its place. "I can't….lose anyone else." Hot tears slid down my face. Someone wrapped their arms around my shoulders, but I pushed them off. I got up off the floor and went outside without meeting anyone's eyes. I ran back out into the field, hiding in the tall plants. I grabbed my wand out of my back pocket and apparated away.

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><p><strong><span>I hoped you guys liked it! I really did make it longer. My last two chapter were only 2-ish pages on Microsoft Word, but this one was 5! I have an idea of what the next chapter is about, but it will take some time to write. :( Sorry. But I have nothing to do for a long time, so I'll spend that time writing. :) <span>**

**Please review! I love getting them! :) M'kay thanks.**


	4. Ultimate Deal

**Chapter 4: Ultimate Deal**

**Hey Guys! I've been working super hard on getting this chapter out quickly (hahaha, not really. I'm just super bored and have nothing else to do). Thanks for being so awesome! I've gotten a bunch of e-mails about y'all subscribing and favoriting. I really appreciate it. :) **

**Lauressa: Thanks for reviewing! I'll be sure to update as soon as I can get every chapter out just for you ;). Yes, yes it is slash. Lord Voldemort and Harry. Love it! :)**

**Twilight Chick 01: I'm glad you liked that chapter. I promise, Luna is OKAY! Just read this. Everything gets better! I promise! And you know Harry...(*evil chuckle* hehehe) Enjoy! :)**

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. That was all J.K. Rowling. I will worship her until the day I die for all 7 of her books! I only own this story.**

**WARNING: THIS IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY & VOLDEMORT SLASH; LOVELY GUY ON GUY ACTION ;), DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

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><p>"I'm so tired of being here<br>Suppressed by all my childish fears  
>And if you have to leave<br>I wish that you would just leave  
>Your presence still lingers here<br>And it won't leave me alone  
>These wounds won't seem to heal<br>This pain is just too real  
>There's just too much that time cannot erase"<p>

-_My Immortal_ by Evanescence

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I smiled to myself when the news came. It wasn't exactly planned, but my Death Eaters are always ones to reach for opportunities like this. Apparently one of the Golden Trio was found wondering Diagon Alley with some other school-mates of hers. One of my lesser Death Eaters had taken them to the dungeons and was torturing them. However, he forgot to take away their wands, and the mudblood escaped with one of the prisoners. He quickly disarmed the last one and locked her away. _That should get under his skin…_ And right on cue, there is that tingle again. I chuckled darkly, very much happy with the results. I called my Death Eaters to a meeting. I made sure my hood fully hid my face and prepared myself on my chair in the meeting room. My Death Eaters appeared before me one by one. Before long, all of my followers were in front of me, silent, waiting for me to speak.

"Well, it seems that we have captured one of Potter's friends. What shall we do now? I have a few ideas, but I want to see what…" I searched for the perfect word while building suspense in the room, "glorious ideas my followers have for me." I looked around the room, waiting for someone brave enough to speak up.

"My lord?" I looked to see one of my younger Death Eaters speak up, platinum blonde hair sticking out of his hood. "I'm sure the idea has passed through your mind, but what if we traded the girl for Potter?"

I showed no hint of anything when I asked, "And why would they give up Potter for some loony girl?" This was all part of the lesson. I had to teach many of my Death Eaters to think with the proper mindset. I already knew the answer, of course, but I wanted the young Malfoy heir to prove himself.

"_They_ wouldn't trade, my lord. Potter would. They would try to get both somehow, or think you were bluffing when you said she was alive, but Potter would trust what we say. He would sacrifice himself to keep his friend safe. He _is _a Gryffindor after all…"

I thought more about what the young boy had said. It hadn't occurred to me that Potter would be so foolish as to do such a thing, but then again, Draco did know more about Potter than I did. I suppose he would not betray me as I feared, but be a great and loyal follower like his father. "Good work" I praised softly, "you have much potential in this project wish to speak with the young Malfoy about this event. I will notify you if your service will be needed in this project." With that, most of my Death Eaters left, with the exception of Draco, Lucius, and Bellatrix.

"I thought I asked to speak to _Draco_. Not anyone else. Please leave so we may have peace."

"But my lord-" Bellatrix started.

"NOW!"

Bella apparated with a huff, but Lucius remained. "My Lord, I will return later to discuss this with you, since you require my son."

Lucius left, leaving behind a frightened young boy. I smiled a bit. "Draco, my dear, there is no need to be so frightened of me at this moment. You should be proud that you have been asked to personally plan this trade with me. I will not harm you when you have proven to be as asset to Potter's capture." I beckoned him forward. He carefully placed his steps until he was a few feet from my throne. I cast a silencing charm to prevent any unwanted ears from hearing.

Suddenly, the tingle in the back of my head died out, then grew to twice its original size. _My my, Potter. It seems that the young Malfoy was right._ My head began to ache. _Worthless brat…_ A quick _**Accio**_ and a pain reliever was in my hand. After a sip, I turned my attention back to the boy. "It seems that Potter has, indeed, been heavily affected by this. How exactly should we tell him of this trade?"

"Well…" he started quietly before adding, "My Lord," for formalities. "Potter has always been one to lose his temper over things like this. He has probably locked himself in a room, or isolated himself somehow. I imagine it would be easy to send him an owl without them knowing. Tell him to meet you somewhere you both know of and that Luna will be released unharmed if he gave himself up. He will fall for it easy enough."

Another _**Accio**_ and a quill and parchment appeared in my now young hand. I still marveled at the effects of Snape's potion on me. I had turned back into the young adult I once was. I immediately wrote the letter, then the palm of my hand and smeared the blood on the letter.

"_**Morsmordre**_." The ink instantly became red and my name signed itself on the bottom. _Tom Riddle_. I hated my given name, but I figured Potter would know it was from me because of it. Draco came back to my throne, one of my eagle owls on his arm. _I hadn't noticed he had left._ Before trying the note to the owl's leg, I summoned Lucius, Severus, and some of my more loyal Death Eaters, minus Bellatrix. I definitely didn't need her to barge into a delicate situation like this. She can be so careless at times when it is so needed. I sent the owl off as they all appeared before me. "Now," I announced. "We shall wait for him. To the Forbidden Forest!" I raised my wand and apparated away, with about ten others following.

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I was numb. Why was I numb? I should be furious! I should be lashing out, diving head-first into battle with whoever did that to Hermione and Neville, to whoever took Luna away, possibly killed her. But suddenly, that wasn't me anymore. I didn't have any fight left in me. There were people around me. One's who died in battle, or in an ambush, or by _His_ filthy hands. Everyone I cared about, who gave their lives for me. There were so many. They all surrounded me, too close. It was hard to breathe. I was claustrophobic. They kept coming closer. _Help us, Harry._ They said. _ You are our only hope. Don't let us die. We loved you. We still do. Help us. We need you…_

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed, hoarse with rage. My eyes shut tightly and I pulled my knees into my chest. I just wanted them to go away, but it was like they always haunted me. I opened my eyes again, and they were gone. Tears fled from my eyes. I hated this.

_Things I hate in this world:_

_This bloody fucking war_

_Being the Boy-Who-Lived/Savior/Chosen One_

_Uncle Vernon_

_Being haunted by dead people I care about_

I looked around me. I was in some type of sewer? Oh, this is where I used magic to fend off a Dementor right in front of Dudley. _What a great memory that is…_ I sighed. At least no one would find me here. Thank _Merlin._ I really needed to take things in. Nothing is right anymore. I didn't want to fight this bloody war any more. I refused to let anything else bad happen to anyone because of it. I needed to end it. I was so _sick_ of everything. My tears stopped, but I stayed with my knees to my chest against the cold, wet metal. I didn't deserve to go back to people who love me. _I _was the cause of all of this. But I was also the answer. That didn't make sense to me. I was the reason all of my friends are getting hurt, or killed. But I was also the Savior. I didn't feel like much of a Savior. No matter what I did, people around me were always getting hurt…

Self-revelation hit me. The answer was there so quickly. It was always in my mind, but until now, I hadn't seen it as an option to take. If I wasn't around, people I care for wouldn't get hurt. If I wasn't around, the war would end. It would all be over. I grabbed my wand. I never some pretty nasty spells, but only one that would kill. Putting it to my temple, the words in my mind and on the tip of my tongue, I was ready.

"_**Avada Kedav-**_"

An owl, unlike any I had ever seen, landed in front of me, a message tied to its leg. Frustrated, tears poured down my cheeks again. I lowered my wand and read the bloody note (and I don't mean that as an insult to the note. It looked like it was written in blood). My eyes widened. If the contents of the note weren't shocking enough, the signature at the bottom surely shocked me beyond belief. _The _Dark Lord wanted to trade me for Luna. It was almost too good to be true. _Luna's still alive?_ I was so relieved. _And I can save her? Even better._ _But wait…_ Some problem showed itself. _How would I make sure Luna was safe if I'm a prisoner? Or dead? I'm sure there's something I can do. I'll figure it out when I get there. Right now, I just need to save Luna._ I lifted my wand, a perfect picture of the edge of the Forbidden Forest in my head, and apparated away.

* * *

><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

With a crack, Harry landed at the very edge of the Forbidden Forest. It was dark and ominous as always, the sky darkening creating shadows over the bare branches of the trees. Harry silenced his feet and walked carefully into the forest, ducking under branches and watching for any movement that would show a trap of some sort. He wondered around aimlessly for a while, not finding a single sign of life. His nerves were starting to get the better of him when he found a clearing. Stepping into the open space, he saw no one around. _Well if I can't find him,_ he thought, _he can find me._ His wand arm lifted into the sky and let go a bright red flare above the forest.

Voldemort had arrived a long while ago, and was beginning to think Potter hadn't taken his bait when he saw the flare. "It seems," he purred to his Death Eaters, "Harry wants us to go to him." A wicked grin on his face, he walked to where he guessed the source of the flare came from, only a couple meters away. His Death Eaters formed a line behind him.

"My Lord," Lucius said quietly from behind him, "a reply."

Voldemort nodded his head before raising his wand and uttering "_**Morsmordre" **_into the sky. The clouds darkened and suddenly a green skull was there, a snake slithering out of its mouth with a hiss. Needless to say, Harry knew he was coming. Harry tried to get into some type of position that would ready him for whatever Voldemort would throw at him, but in all honesty, he knew there was nothing he could do to prepare himself for this meeting.

A several long seconds passed by before Harry saw Voldemort enter the clearing, his Death Eaters behind him like ducklings following a mother duck. Harry tried to stop a smile from appearing on his face. _That's a terrible comparison._ Then he couldn't help but imagine Voldemort, his pale snake-like face (with no nose), in a duck costume. Harry grinned and let go of a small laugh, for he couldn't help himself. _Maybe I am going crazy. That is one of the strangest thoughts I've ever…_

"Something funny, Potter?" One of the cloaked beings spat at him. He immediately recognized it.

"Well, _Malfoy_, I was just enjoying the last minutes of craziness I have before I die."

The clearing fell silent. The Death Eaters were shocked, to say the least, and Voldemort smiled a small, sideways grin. "And what makes you think I'm here to kill you? We have business to attend to, yes?" He dropped his hood and revealed his young face. Harry's eyes fell onto it with surprise. He wasn't expecting this. It was almost like the Tom Riddle he had seen in the Chamber of Secrets, but slightly older. His face was…well, human, and not the least bit revulsive. _In fact, it's rather…_ he stopped himself right there.

"Well, I guess I just assumed I was here to save Luna, then you would satisfy your long time goal of killing me. Which speaking of, where is Luna?"

"She is safe," One of the Death Eaters spoke up, "Once an agreement has been made here, we will retrieve her."

"Then let's get on with it, shall we?" Harry pushed. "I will become your captive _after_ I have assured that Luna is safe."

"Oh?" Voldemort questioned, "How do you intend to do that?"

"I will take her to a safe place, with people who will care for her, then come back and become your _'captive'._"

"Really, Potter? How stupid do you think we are?" Draco challenged, "You wouldn't return."

"He would if under magical oath." Voldemort said. He walked forward and beckoned Lucius after him. Lucius held his wand firmly and began the terms of the oath.

"Potter, you will escort Luna to safety and return to the Dark Lord to become his captive _without_ any arguing or resisting…If" he turned to Voldemort, "The Dark Lord brings her forth unharmed."

"And will never hurt any of my friends or loved ones. Ever."

"And," Lucius continued, "will not harm a _select few_ of the ones Harry cares for."

Voldemort pondered for a second. "I will give you 8 people to save. Name them now."

"Hermione Granger. Ronald Weasley. Luna Lovegood. Neville Longbottom. Molly Weasley…" Harry was thinking of those who really needed protection, or whom he would die without. "Ginny Weasley. Remus Lupin…" He paused. Voldemort anticipated hearing Harry say his own name to ensure he wouldn't be harmed. _That would be the smart thing to do,_ Voldemort thought. Harry made a hard decision mentally, and his guilt immediately washed over him. "George Weasley."

Voldemort's eyebrows rose. He wasn't expecting that. Lucius finished the spell, and the deal was made. Voldemort motioned for his selected Death Eaters to retrieve Luna. "My, Harry. I suppose you really don't have anything funny up your sleeve. You really are stupid."

Two Death Eaters came back with Luna, her wand in one of their hands. She was quickly handed over to Harry.

"Hello Harry. What's all this?" she greeted, the same old blank stare in her eyes.

"I'm saving you, Luna." With that he apparated back to the Burrow.

He appeared in the middle of the living room, where everyone was occupying themselves. Hermione immediately stood and embraced them.

"Harry, we were worried sick." She pulled back relieved and a smile on her face. It quickly faded when she asked, "How did you get Luna back?" By then everyone was hugging them both, smiles around the room.

Ron clapped Harry on the back. "Must 'ave battled them, uh? But you don't have a scratch on ya'. Must have been some pretty lame guards if you could-"

"Ron. It wasn't a fight. I…made a deal. I'm sorry you guys, but I _promise_ this whole thing will be over, and you guys will be safe."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Harry." She said carefully, "What are you talking about?"

Harry sighed and made out an "I'm sorry," before he apparated back to the Forbidden Forest.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I was getting a little impatient with Potter. I had finally gotten him into my clutches, but I had a stupid agreement and let him go away. Why wasn't he back yet? We had an agreement, yes so he couldn't just…

"Lucius…" I came to the realization, "we didn't say _when_ he would have to come back."

Lucius paled a bit, thinking for sure I would be angry at him for forgetting something so small and insignificant in the agreement. "My lord," he whispered, "I'm terribly sorry." I sighed. I told myself I would wait a bit longer before going after Potter, magical agreement or not.

Then Harry appeared before me with a crack. He was facing away from me, so I put my hands on his shoulders and whispered into his ear, 'And now you belong to me, Boy-Who-Lived."


	5. True Intentions

**Chapter 5: True Intentions**

**You guys are AMAZING! Thank you for all of your comments! I'm super glad you like my story. :) I stayed up late writing this (because I couldn't sleep), so I read it over a billion times to make sure I didn't have any mistakes in it. Probably some I didn't catch though, sorry. **

**13AkiraKuranXIII: Yes, I _love _Naruto. :) Thank you for your constructive critisism! I see your point. I suppose I should fix that into the story somehow? Thoughts?**

**CinnamonClouds: Hehehe, sorry. But don't worry! Here is the update! And another is on its way (sorta-ish...). :)**

**Twilight Chick 01: Oh good! I don't think anyone reading would be happy if you killed Harry. :D**

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. That was all J.K. Rowling, may we all love and admire her for her work. I only own this story. Don't sue!**

**WARNING: THIS IS RATED M FOR EXCPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/VOLDEMORT SLASH; GUY ON GUY ACTION; YAOI LOVE; I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN MAKE THAT ANYMORE CLEAR AS TO WHAT THIS CONTAINS; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

* * *

><p>"Here we go again<p>

We're sick like animals

We play pretend

You're just a cannibal

and I'm afriad I won't get out alive

...

What are you waiting for?

Take a bite of my heart tonight"

-_Animal_ by Neon Trees

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I passed out. I know, completely un-manly, but I couldn't help it. I was so SHOCKED from what Tom did, I fainted. I mean, what kind of Dark Lord walks up behind his enemy, puts his hands on his shoulders, and whispers "You belong to me" in his ear? Honestly. I was freaked out beyond belief. I really didn't want to wake up after that. I'd rather he would have just killed me while I couldn't fight back, but my luck thought otherwise. I slowly came into consciousness, these thoughts on my mind, and I almost groaned that I had to wake up. I knew that would only mean that he had some kind of torture lined up for me. _Bloody hell..._

It took a lot of convincing for my eyes to open, but once they did, I almost fainted again. I wasn't in any sort of dungeon, or cell. There weren't chains around my wrists and ankles, but dark green blankets and a black silk pillow by my head. The room was decorated in a gothic style, with dark green accents here and there, like on the curtains, on the bed, and on the lamps. The rest of the room was colored black. A classic black desk to my left, with black bookcases filled to the brim beside it. A comfy black and gray cushioned chair was on the other side of the room next to a door slightly open, with a silver framed, decorated mirror barely visible through it. Another door was slightly to its right and was sealed. _Bloody hell... _

I looked down at myself. I was wearing dark gold and red silk sleeping pants and shirt. They were amazingly comfortable, and pretty manly, if I do say so myself. The scars I had collected on my hand were gone. I rolled up my sleeves and the other scars were gone too. Lifting up my shirt, I saw all of my scars were gone. _Bloody hell... _

I touched my forehead. _Nope, not all of them._ The lighting mark on my forehead was still there, nothing about it had changed at all. I flung my legs off the side of the bed and stood abruptly to walk over to the closed door, only to start seeing black spots in my vision and my head go dizzy. _Bloody hell... _

I fell to my knees and tried to gain a grip on my vision and stop my world from spinning. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to banish the black spots, when I heard someone open a door and enter. _Bloody hell... _

Tom looked down on me. His eyes still red like when he had the snake-face, but a body that was distinctly a young adult Tom Riddle. "Good morning, Harry. Have a nice sleep?" _Bloody fucking hell..._

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I was in my study when I heard a distinct pop of a house elf. "Master, Mr. Potter is awake." a squeaky voice told me.

"Very well." I stood and walked down the hall to the room I had given him. It was quite a shock to him, I suppose, when I told him he "belonged to me" because the boy fainted on the spot. After he did, my Death Eaters had to stifle a giggle or two, with the exception of young Draco, who burst out laughing and saying things such as "And I thought I was scared of you. But, Merlin, I never FAINTED!" I must admit, seeing Harry faint was quite entertaining. I picked him up (princess-style), apparated to my manor, and picked a small room for him to occupy. I can only imagine his reaction to waking up in a room rather than in a grave. He was quite convinced that I wanted to kill him, but that wasn't my intention, not at all.

"Good morning, Harry." I looked down at him. He looked so confused and shocked at the same time. "Have a nice sleep?"

"Bloody fucking hell..." he murmured staring at me. I rolled my eyes at his poor choice of words.

"Well, I have noticed that you need some explanations as to what exactly is going on and maybe even some..." I looked down at him once more. He stared at his hands incredulously, like they were dragon's claws instead of hands. "...time to gain your bearings." I raised an eyebrow at him. He obviously was losing his mind. "I will tell you after breakfast. I'll have a house elf bring your food to your room, so you don't faint again as to seeing the rest of my manor."

Harry groaned at my humor, before replying, "Wait... _MY_ room?"

I sighed. "Don't make me repeat myself, you brat. Yes YOUR room. I picked it just for you. I figured you lived with Muggles for most of your life, and were used to a small room, therefore, your room is the smallest."

Harry chuckled humorlessly. "Small room. Yea. My room was a cupboard under the stairs. This is like a mansion compared to that..." he muttered, looking over his arms as if trying to find something.

I was almost disturbed, either by the fact that Harry had spent life in a cupboard or that Harry had uttered such personal things to me, but I quickly dismissed it as his disorientation getting the better of him. "I see... Sadie," A pop, then a small elf was before me. "Bring Harry's breakfast here for him to eat."

"Yes, Master" pop.

I looked back over to Harry, who was rolling up his sleeping pants and staring at his legs in awe. "Your clothes are by the sink in the lavatory." I said before quickly exiting the room.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

After Tom left, I was...well, still shocked. There wasn't a single thing about this that didn't scream alternate-reality. All the scars on my entire body were gone, with the exception of my lighting mark. My usually unruly hair was some-what controlled, and I had a room in Tom Riddle's manor, for Merlin's sake! There was no way this was happening. _I must have hit my head too hard on something. I am actually in a dark, cold dungeon and this was just some unknown spell Tom casted on me to trick me and confuse me._ And it was working bloody well. I had never been more confused in my life. _Ever._ I was obviously mad.

A house elf popped into my room, a large tray in her hands. "Here be your breakfast Mr. Harry Potter." she squeaked before another pop, and she was gone.

I was almost scared to eat, afraid that the breakfast would be poisoned or something, but I figured it didn't matter anyway. Plus, I was as starving as Ron when he's late for breakfast. I could care less at this point. If he wanted me dead, I probably wouldn't get breakfast. With that, I took my first bite. It was amazing, to say the least. It was, not to insult her or her marvelous cooking, but better than any breakfast I had from Mrs. Weasley. I dug right in, not caring what it might be, or what was in it.

After I finished eating, which was no time at all, I tried standing again. One foot was steady on the lush black carpet, and I grabbed onto the bed for support before standing completely. I was steady, no dizziness, so I walked over to the loo. It very much matches the room, with a silver framed mirror over the porcelain sink, a shower with a glass door and black tile inside, porcelain toilet, and a dark green towel over the top of the shower door. My clothes were there, of course, by the sink. I picked them up, and they were cleaned, almost like I had never walked through the muddy forest to meet Tom. I decided not to change and sat back on the luxurious bed. If he said he picked me a small room because I wasn't used to large ones, then why on Earth did he give me silk sheets, a glorious bathroom, and beautiful (but awful Slytherin) decor? He couldn't think that I had things like this in my... Well, ever. Even Hogwarts didn't have rooms _this_ nice. I sighed. _I suppose I'll just have to wait for an explanation then._

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I had finished breakfast and was contemplating going to talk to Potter. He definitely needed some time to let this all sink in. I wasn't even so sure that was all he needed. _Maybe a therapist is in order? No, I'll talk to him..._ I groaned inwardly and started for Potter's room. When I opened his door, I found him sitting on the edge of the bed, staring about the room, before his emerald orbs fell on me. "How was breakfast, Harry?"

He looked confused for a moment before answering, "Delicious." A few moments of silence passed before "Thank you" came out of his mouth quietly, and his eyes scanned the room once more.

"I suppose you're waiting for me to explain exactly what is going on... And why you're still alive." he looked back to me and nodded. "Hmm, I never intended to kill you. Well, I can't say NEVER, but recently. I've realized that you would be a greater asset to me if you were on my side than if you were dead." I looked over him. He looked better than he had in the forest. His color was back, his hair wasn't a _complete_ mess, and his eyes had their original luminance to them. The sleeping clothes I had given him were perfect, not only for his body, but his personality. He was now the red and gold in a room of green and black, both figuratively and literally. "Being my captive doesn't mean I will kill you, Harry. It means we will become allies." Potter's mouth dropped at the words. Obviously, this talking was only making him more insane, but I suppose that was the intention now. The more mental he was, the more likely he will join _our_ cause. I smirked. "I no longer want you to see us as enemies. That is why you have this room, and not a prison cell. I know you think you signed up for an easy way to get away from your problems..." he noticeably winced at that, "...but I'm going to make sure you that you face them head-on, like a Gryffindor should." With that, I left.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Thanks for reading! Please review. Anything that would help me when writing this would be amazing! You guys are awesome. :) I'm working on the next chapter starting...NOW! :) I'll update soon! M'kay thanks!<span>**


	6. Deep Trust

**Chapter 6: Deep Trust**

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading. :) I've been working on this story with all of my spare time (which is all day), but I'm going on vacation soon, so after a few more chapters, you may have to wait a week. Unheard of here, I know. As someone said in a comment (you know who you are), I have spoiled you guys. I got really bored and decided to add a small steamy part in this chapter. ;) Enjoy!**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: :) Thanks for the comment! Enjoy. **

**Bluetoads: Thanks for your constructive criticism. Of course you get to know how he lost his scars, and it wasn't Tom. I'm sorry. I would fix it, but it's kind of a joke I used in this chapter. I hope you like the rest of the story. :)**

**13AkiraKuranXIII: I know. Hehehe. Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it! :) You sounded more like a mentor than a teacher. Oh wise Akira Kuran, help me learn the ways of Tom Riddle! Hehehe. Enjoy! **

**Twilight Chick 01: That is exactly how I see him too. :) I'm glad you like the story! Trust me, more chapters are always on their way. :D**

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. That was all J.K. Rowling. I am only a poor, bored girl who spends day and night writing fantasies about her favorite characters. **

**WARNING: THIS IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/VOLDEMORT SLASH; YAOI GOODNESS; BOY ON BOY; THESE CHARACTERS WILL EVENTUALLY GET TOGETHER!; I CAN'T MAKE THAT ANYMORE CLEAR; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

* * *

><p>"Oh mirror in the sky<br>What is love?  
>Can the child within my heart rise above?<br>Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?  
>Can I handle the seasons of my life?<br>Well, I been afraid of changing  
>Cause I built my life around you<br>Time makes bolder  
>Children get older<br>I'm getting older too"

-_Landslide_ by Dixie Chicks

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

_That was…wow…unexpected. _It was later in the day. I hadn't left the room at all, or even change my clothes, so I didn't know exactly _how_ late it was. I felt like my world had been turned upside down, almost as much as it had when I heard about this war, but there was something different about this. I could live with Tom not trying to kill me (no pun intended), but being his ally was something completely foreign to me. From what I could tell, his goal had been to kill me, but I had no idea what his purpose of starting this war was. Did I want to be his ally? My friends obviously would be on the opposing side from me, so what would I do with them? Was I mad to even be _thinking_ of joining forces with Tom? Probably, there was no denying that, but part of me was thinking about what good would come of it. _We will definitely win the war. I won't be the Savior anymore. I might like this…_

I stood from the bed and debated what to do. I didn't even know the time of day. I shrugged and walked over to the door Tom had appeared through earlier. It opened into a long hallway with a few door scattered here and there, and an arch that lead somewhere else, possibly another hallway. The walls were a dark color, and the small balls of light that floated close to the ceiling didn't provide much light to see if it was dark green or black, or even some other color. I instinctively reached for the pocket my wand was always in, only to remember I was in some sleeping clothes. I closed the door and went over to see if my clothes had my wand. _No. Where could it be? Did Tom take it?_ "_**Accio Wand**_." After a few moments, nothing happened. I sighed and decided to go out and find it.

I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. I walked forward until the first door was just to my left. I pressed my ear to the door, listening to see if anyone was inside. Silence. I continued walking to the next door, and the same with the next door. I was at the end of the hallway, close to the arch, with one more door to go. Pressing my ear to it, I heard nothing. I sighed then walked carefully over to the arch. Through the arch was a stair case that descended into a grand room of some sorts. A large chair was at one end of the room, and a long table in front of it with many chairs on its sides. It looked rather nice and ornate. The whole room was spectacular. I could see why Tom wanted me to wait until I was feeling better to see this. I probably would have fainted again, being so _tired _and _overwhelmed_. I grumbled to myself.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I was back in my study, reading up on mental instability, when I heard some shuffling in the hallway. It must be Potter. I continued reading, but a nagging, paranoid thought ran through my head. What if it isn't him? I closed my book and quietly rose. Just as I did, I heard the shuffling stop at the door and then silence. I didn't move. I heard a sigh then more shuffling. After silencing my feet (wordless and wandless), I walked to the door and opened it. There Potter stood; gazing out into the dining room/meeting room, and grumbling to himself, probably remember what I told him about fainting when he saw it. I quietly closed the door and walked up behind him, slightly to his side. "Well, you seem to be holding up better than I thought."

He noticeably jumped. "Bloody hell! Stop sneaking up on me like that."

I chuckled darkly. "Relax, Harry."

"How can I relax when you appear from nowhere behind me when I think I'm alone? Where did you come from anyway?"

"I was in my study. I heard you come down the hallway, so I thought maybe you needed something. Do you need something?" I looked him over. He was still in his sleeping clothes, but I didn't say anything. I figured he still needed sometime before he was stable. I felt a slight bit of pride that he hadn't immediately gotten rid of them the moment I told him where his clothes were. He actually liked the clothes I picked out for him. Well, I do suppose they fit him rather nicely.

"Yes. What did you do with my wand?"

My eyebrows rose before my eyes narrowed. We were, thankfully, alone. If any of my Death Eaters were here, they surely would have taken this moment to try and restrain him. The first thoughts at those words are _He's trying to escape_. To make sure my reply wasn't understood by anyone else, I used Parseltongue.

_/Trying to get away, Potter? It'ssssss not wisssssse to talk of ssssssuch thingssss when you are a captive. They will think you are trying to esssscape./_

Potter looked around us. _/I wassss honessstly trying to be able to ssssee better in thissss dark hallway. Issss that a crime? /_ He challenged.

"I suppose not..." I said slowly, "...but don't get any ideas. It's in a safe place, I assure you." I turned and walked back to my study.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

_Paranoid, are we?_ Tom's reaction to my asking for my wand was unexpected. True, I hadn't really expected him to say _Oh yea, here's your wand back. Safe and sound. If you want, I could teach you some wonderful curses! And might I dare say, you look marvelous today, Harry... _But I hadn't really thought he would have seen it as an act of my trying to escape. _Well, I guess if I had wanted to escape, that would be the first step._ I hadn't really thought about that. In all honesty, I had just gone through with it before thinking about it. I still had one more, quick question for Tom, though. I turned to ask him what time it was, but he was gone. _Where did he go? He was just here... Damn._

I sighed and went back to my room. I was starting to get a bit tired, so it must have been pretty late in the evening. I sat back down on my bed; the once tousled dark sheets were now neat and tucked. I felt weird. Tom said to not think of us as enemies any more, but he didn't trust me wondering where my wand was? I was…hurt? _No way. Just because we aren't enemies doesn't mean we automatically trust each other._ But I couldn't help but feel sad knowing he didn't trust me. Then another thought came to me. _Do I trust him?_ I knew it hadn't been a long time since our deal, but I had put a lot of trust into him in a small time, more than I probably should have. _I trusted he wouldn't kill me (though I kind of wanted him to), I ate the food he gave me, wore these clothes, slept in this bed, believe what he says to be true… That's a lot of trust to put into one's ex-enemy._ I sighed. _But he hasn't exactly given me any reason not to trust him._

I decided to shower. I had been in these clothes all day, after all. Plus I needed something to relax me. I got up and went inside the bathroom and turned on the shower. While I waited for the water to warm up, I looked for some toiletries I might be able to use. I didn't see any until I looked back in the shower. _Hmmm. Neat little trick…_ As the room started to steam and the mirror fogged up, I was careful to remove the silk sleeping clothes off my body. I got into the shower and let the burning water run down my body. It felt so damned good. My tensed muscles relaxed, but I felt a buildup of emotions wash over me. There was so much to take in in such little time.

I longed for pure and utter happiness, even if only for a few moments. My thoughts ran to third year, when Remus was teaching me the Patronus charm. _Think of your happiest thought, even if it's not real._ I always told myself that when I needed some cheering up. I searched through my mind for a good memory. I found one, yet I don't remember feeling it. I was warm and safe in someone's arms. They held me close to them and I could hear their heart beating; I could feel it. My breathing even with theirs, and an odd warmness around us, it was one of the only times I had felt truly safe.

I grabbed the soap and proceeded to wash me, focusing solely on the part being washed. My arms and chest, smooth and new feeling without their scars, then my legs and back. I was washing my upper thigh when I brushed against my member ever so lightly, but a ripple of pure ecstasy shot through my body. It was an amazing feeling I had long forgotten about. I gently put the soap down, steadied myself with one hand, and wrapped the fingers of the other around my arousal. I slowly pumped, savoring every sensation the came from it. All of my worries were drained from my body and excitement took its place. I started pumping faster, my cock now fully hardened and alert to every movement my hand made. A small gasp escaped my mouth when I felt a wave of pure pleasure wash over me. And there I was again. Safe in the arms of someone, being held close, our bodies in sync. My fist pumped harder and a feeling unlike any other shot up my spine, causing my back to arch and my head to fall back. I rode out the feelings and continued to stroke my member. Suddenly, I felt like I was about to burst and I saw pure white in my vision. Then feelings faded out, and I was left panting heavily, a big goofy smile on my face, and a milky white substance on my hand. I quickly washed off the evidence and finished off my shower.

Once I got out of the shower and dried off with the green towel, I was suddenly exhausted. A toothbrush and paste appeared by the sink and I brushed my teeth before turning to put on my sleeping clothes I had on earlier. They weren't on the floor, or anywhere in the bathing room for that matter. I slightly opened the door to my room to find a nicely folded pile of sleeping clothes on my bed, next to my regular clothes. I hurried over to them and put them on. These were deep, rich gold and black pattern to them. The silk made the gold look like molten gold was on my clothes. _I rather like these too._ I picked up my normal clothes and placed them on the grey and black chair, then plopped onto my bed.

Thoughts were on my mind, as they always were, but these weren't the usual ones. What was I going to do now? _My entire existence is to defeat Voldemort, but now I'm Tom's ally._ I pondered just exactly how I worded that. In my mind, Voldemort and Tom were two different people. Voldemort was the evil villain who killed my parents and has been trying to kill me ever since I was born. Tom was the man who had taken me away from my friends (which was good. Now I couldn't hurt them anymore), given me a room to stay in, and wants me to be his ally. It hurt that Tom didn't trust me when I trusted him, but I would never in a millions years trust Voldemort. Voldemort had a snake face and rose from a cauldron, but Tom had a sculpted face, and was human. _Did Tom see himself that way?_ _I suppose he could. That would be why he changed his name._ These thoughts spun around in my head before they grew tired and let my mind slip into sleep.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I would have gotten this in sooner, but my internet was being really slow and wouldn't upload the document. <strong>**-_-**** It frustrated me so… **

**Mini-Story:  
><strong>**Gaaralovesmeonly was finally finished writing the sixth chapter to her most wonderful story ever. She was super excited, especially since she had added a really sexy part in there. **_**My readers are gonna LOOOOOVE ME!**_** She saved the story on Microsoft word, then opened up her internet. She quickly went to and signed in. She was bouncing in her seat with excitement. **_**I wonder how many people will comment. LOTS hopefully…**_** She went to the upload page, picked the document, and hit the button to upload it. Usually it uploaded in a matter of seconds, but this time the loading sign wouldn't go away. Seconds slowly slithered by and Gaaralovesmeonly growled under her breath. **_**HURRY UP YOU STUPID COMPUTER!**_** Then a screen appeared that said "Request Timed Out". Her eyes widened. **_**NOOOOO! I'm sorry computer! I didn't mean that! You are the best computer I've ever had! PLEASE upload my story! NOOOOOOooooooooo!**_

**I hope you at least liked the chapter. Already working on the next one! :) Keep commenting! M'kay thanks!**


	7. Possession

**Chapter 7: Possession**

**Hey guys! I've been bombarded with a bunch of e-mails that say you guys have added this story to your alerts and favorites and stuff, and I just think you guys are amazing! You have no idea how happy I am. :D Every time I get a comment, it's so awesome. And my computer is working now! Yay! But I leave on Tuesday for a trip. And that will take about two days (I think, maybe more), and I will be back. By then, I'll have a chapter written, if not two, hehehe. :) Enjoy!**

**Twilight Chick 01: Good. :D I'm glad you like my story. And we seem to agree on a lot about him. :)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Thanks! :)**

**13AkiraKyranXIII: :) Thanks for your advice (again). Yay! So I got it? I was really thinking about what you told me about him the whole time. Hehehe, I was just hinting when I said I wanted lots of comments. I'm not really expecting a bunch, and I really DO treasure the ones I do get. :) Thank you. And I WILL enjoy my vacation! :D**

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><p>"I won't hesitate no more<br>No more  
>It cannot wait<br>I'm yours  
>There's no need to complicate<br>Our time is short  
>This is our fate<br>I'm yours"

-_I'm Yours_ by Jason Mraz

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The sky was dark and the ground beneath me was damp. I couldn't tell what else was going on besides the event happening before my eyes. Snape and Draco stood in front of me. This wasn't Hogwarts anymore. It was just blackness; just space. Dumbledore stood across from them, mouthed words sent my way, but I could hear his voice whispering it in my ear. _Harry…Harry…Please…_ Then Snape raised his wand and green shot from it, straight into Dumbledore, and he fell into the blackness. Suddenly, I was falling too; a never ending plunge to the unforgiving Earth. Snape and Draco looked down at me falling and smiled wickedly. I could feel the ground catching up to me, but when I hit it, I tore through the ground into a grave. The Elder Wand was placed in my hands and dirt covered me. The Elder Wand grew scorching hot in my hands, but I couldn't move them. The wand burned through my skin and my hands caught on fire, but instead of orange flames, they were pure molten silver. The flames ate away at my body and I could feel my face begin to melt. This fire was intense and concentrated. My whole body was engulfed and destroyed, but the Elder Wand floated up, unharmed. It suddenly jerked away and landed in a bone-pale, slim hand. Voldemort smiled and lifted his arm to the sky, and out shot a lightning bolt that shook the whole world. Everything was covered in the silver flames. Hermione and Ron huddled close to each other avoiding the flames, their screams lost in the chaos. _This is all Harry's fault…Harry did this…how could you Harry?_

A scream filled the room; my scream. My head ached and my face was sweaty. I was on the floor by the bed curled up in the fetal position. Tears poured from my eyes, and I continued to scream hoarsely. Suddenly blackness was all I could see, and something grabbed me. I fought it off of me. I didn't know what it was. More tears fell down my cheeks and down my neck. My eyes opened and Tom was there in front of me, his hand around my arm, his red eyes almost shining in the darkness. I quickly climbed into his arms and he held me. I was safe now. Nothing could harm me, not even my nightmares. In his warm embrace, I quickly fell into a dream-less sleep.

I opened my eyes, and my vision was blurry. I couldn't see a thing. Had I lost my glasses? I slowly made my way to the edge of the bed to see if I had lost them on the floor last night. I hit my knee on a small, almost unnoticeable bedside table. "Ow. Bloody hell…" I placed my hand on the table, and there were my glasses. I put them on and the world around me became clear once more. I looked around the room, the events of last night fresh in my mind. _Did it really happen?_ I woke up in my bed, not on the floor. Tom wasn't here. Not that I thought it was even possible for any of that to have happened. Tom wouldn't have held me like that. He didn't even trust me. It must have been a dream. _Why would I dream something like that?_ I couldn't even begin to process it.

I got up and shook my head. I proceeded to walk to the loo, and get ready for the day. After I was dressed in my normal clothes, I walked to the door that led into the dark hallway. After opening it, I immediately saw a brightness. The lights were four times as bright as they were yesterday. Must be the time of day, I figured. I walked into the brightly lit hallway. The walls of the hallway, I noticed, were a dark green and black pattern that seemed to be a million tiny lines twisting themselves into each other.

I arrived at the arch, and looked over the large room with the ornate table and chairs. Tom was sitting at the head of the table, eating breakfast. He looked quite lonely sitting at a large table with no one there. I walked down the black carpet stairs to greet him. He turned to look at me and gestured for me to sit next to him. I sat down in the rather uncomfortable looking chair, only to find it was quite cozy. A house elf appeared and set a plate of food in front of me, then disappeared without a word. I was about halfway finished when Tom was done. The house elf returned and took his plate away with a pop.

"Harry, I would like to discuss something with you."

I looked up from my plate. _Maybe last night really did happen, and he wants to talk about it._ "Ok."

"If we are to be allies, I'm sure you need to hear what that means, and what we plan to accomplish."

I sighed inwardly. I got my hopes up for nothing. "That would be... helpful."

"Good. There will be a meeting later today with my Death Eaters. I would like for you to join us."

My emerald eyes grew and I could feel my mouth hang. I dropped my fork on my plate, and the clang broke me from my shock. I picked it up and carefully placed on the side of my plate before turning my attention back to Tom. "...What?"

Tom's jaw clenched. "Do I have to repeat myself?" he asked calmly.

"No...no. I'm just... A meeting with your Death Eaters? That's..."

"You will be wearing a black cloak with a hood, like those you have seen us wear. Not many will know it is you. They will only know that you are a special addition to our group. The only ones who know are the ones who accompanied me to our little trade. They are my most loyal."

I thought it over. It was like I was becoming a Death Eater. I wouldn't have to get a Dark Mark, would I? I don't know if I could live with that.

Tom must have sensed my stress. "Harry." I turned to look at him. "Do not panic. I assure you nothing will happen that would put you in danger."

Even though that wasn't what I was worrying over, I nodded my head and tried to calm down. _Tom wouldn't make me do that. That would be too much to ask._ I had lost my appetite at this point. I picked up my plate and asked, "Where is the kitchen?"

"Oh, Potter, don't bother cleaning up. That's why I have house elves. Sadie!"

Sadie popped in, took my plate, and popped away. I sighed. "Well, what do I do until the meeting?"

"I'm not your babysitter, Harry. Just don't go snooping around my manor." He rose and walked over to one of the hallways that branched off the large room.

I decided to go back upstairs, but not to my room quite yet. I stood by the arch looking into the hallway I had become familiar with. There were several doors, but didn't know what would be behind them. I walked over to the closest door and turned its handle. _Locked._ I walked over to the next door. _Locked._ Then the next door. _Locked._ Then all the other doors. _Bloody fucking locked._ I sighed and walked over to my door, defeated. When I turned its handle, it was locked. _What? This can't be locked! It's _my_ room!_ I put my back against the door and slid down to the floor. _If only I had my wand. A quick __**Alohomora**__ could easily get me out of this mess._ I really did miss having a wand. It was almost equal to being a muggle. I was practically powerless, with the exception of the small number of wandless spells I knew. _Could I do a wandless __**Alohomora**__? Would it even work if I could? Only one way to find out._ I stood facing my door, eyes closed, focused on my magic. I could almost feel the magic inside of me, and sometimes it helps to imagine I did.

"_**Alohomora**__"_

I could feel my magic jump to the door handle, but not unlock the door. It retracted and I sighed. I concentrated once more and felt my magic.

"_**Alohomora**_"

My magic, once again, jumped to the door handle. This time, I took control of it and pushed it into the lock like a key. I concentrated on turning it for a few minutes to no avail. I was about to give up when I heard a small click. I opened my eyes and reached for the door handle. It opened. I smiled and stepped inside. Nothing had changed in the room. _Then why was it locked?_ I was pondering this, still in the doorway.

"Got pass my lock I see…"

I turned. Tom was now in his hooded cloak (with the hood down, of course). He had another on his arm. _Mine._ "Why was my door locked?"

"_Your _door? As I recall, this is my manor, and therefore that door is mine. I locked it because I didn't want you snooping."

"Snooping? I was in that room all day yesterday. If there was any snooping to have been done, I would have already done it."

"Yesterday, you were unfit to even _think_ about snooping. This is one of my more private hallways, Potter; I'd prefer to keep it that way. Anyway…" He handed me the cloak, "We shall see how this fits. Try it on."

I went inside my room and closed the door. _Am I supposed to wear this with clothes on underneath? I think so…_ The cloak was huge, to say the least. It practically fell off me. I was about to open the door, but the huge sleeve covered my hand. _Who was this made for? A giant?_ I found my hand once more in the ocean of blackness and opened the door.

"I think it may be a tad bit big on me."

Tom nodded slightly then pulled out his wand. "_**Lorem ipsum**_". The cloak immediately shrunk about ten sizes and fit me perfectly. "That is better. Now," He turned and lifted his hood over his head, "The meeting will be starting soon."

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I went back to the stairs and down into the big room. Potter followed behind me, tripping and stumbling down the first few stairs before he figured out how to lift the cloak so he wouldn't step on it. Just as our feet hit the floor of the meeting room, Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco appeared. I transfigured the chair at my right hand into a regal throne much like mine, but in a dark gold. I motioned to Harry and he sat in it, smiling once he saw how comfortable it was. A quick wandless and wordless spell assured Harry's eyes, and nose, were covered by a shadow. Lucius looked to me, nodded his greeting, and sat in his usual place, his son to his right and his wife to his left. Before long, my Death Eaters began to appear, some together, but most separate. The table did its usual lengthening spell, and more chairs were available for them as necessary. Once everyone was seated, it was quiet.

"My dear followers," I began, "I have with us today, a special addition to our cause. His name is…" I looked over to Harry. His face was hidden, but I could sense his panic in the back of my head. "Aureum Serpens(**1**). He will be working privately with me to assure we are quite successful, but he needs to learn of what we must do, and how it will be done. As I'm sure you know, this is something words cannot describe. How do we offer Mr. Serpens this knowledge?"

Lucius immediately spoke up. "We send him off to experience it."

"We don't want him to be scarred from something like that, Lucius. It is a traumatizing experience," stated Severus in his usual monotone.

"My Lord, if I may say, I think if Mr. Serpens is strong enough to want to join, then he would be strong enough to survive it," another Death Eater down the table said.

"Survive, yes. But we don't want him to just survive. We want him to become strong, and he very well could not after that." Severus challenged. I examined him. He knew something. _I will have to ask him of this later..._

The table became quite noisy with people discussing this, but I was only interested in Lucius and Severus talking. The volume rose and they were drowned out. I could only hear random points of arguments.

"What if he is powerful?"

"But it is a tradition!"

"What makes that any different from this?"

My ears pounded and I could feel my rage rise in my chest. _How dare they..._

_/He'ssssss mine./_

The room silenced at my snake tongue. Everyone looked to me, back in their seats, and quiet settled over the room.

"He's mine. I shall decide his fate, you incompetent fools," I said, dangerously calm. My eyes met with theirs, one at a time, as I looked down the table, like a predator picking out his prey. "For now, we have other matters to attend to."

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><p><strong>:O Oh no! What will Harry say to that? Hehehe. Hoped you like it! <strong>

**I have been baking cookies and writing this chapter. And when I say baking cookies I mean BAKING COOKIES FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT! Hehehe. So I have a bunch of cookies now (don't ask why. I'd rather not talk about it) and chapter 7 finished! YEEEEEEESSSS!**

**1. It means "Golden Snake" in Latin. I figured it would fit Harry nicely. :) (If it's wrong, blame Google.) I tried to get an anagram like "Tom Marvolo Riddle" is "I am Lord Voldemort", but Harry's name just wouldn't work like that. :(**

**Review! Please. M'kay Thanks! :D**


	8. Descending

**Chapter 8: Descending**

**Hey guys. Thanks for reading my story. You guys really have given me something to look forward to in my day. I leave for vacation tomorrow, and I'll be back on Sunday, so I'll try to see if I can write a few chapters while I'm gone. I would have finished this sooner, but I had some problems this morning that I needed to work out. **

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Yea. I spent the better part of an hour deciding what name to give him. I figured that one would be just perfect. And you will find out what Sev knows…eventually. **

**Twilight Chick 01: Well, he couldn't very well Crucio the entire room…or could he? Hehehe. Nah… But he will Crucio someone. I'm glad you like my story.**

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. Don't sue.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/VOLDEMORT SLASH; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

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><p>"I'm tripping on words<br>You've got my head spinning  
>I don't know where to go from here<br>Cause it's you and me  
>And all other people<br>And I don't know why  
>I can't keep my eyes off of you"<p>

-_You and Me_ by Lifehouse

"Hit me like a ray of sun  
>Burning through my darkest night<br>You're the only one that I want  
>Think I'm addicted to your light<br>I swore I'd never fall again  
>But this don't even feel like falling<br>Gravity can't begin to pull me back to the ground again  
>Feels like I been awakened"<p>

-_Halo_ by Beyoncé

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I really couldn't listen to anything for the rest of the meeting. This was one of those memories you never forget, like when you lose someone, or when you get married, but I couldn't figure out if it was a good memory, or a bad one. My head was reeling, and I couldn't focus on the meeting, not that it looked too interesting anyway. I didn't know what to think anymore. I couldn't even focus on my own thoughts. The world around me was moving, but I couldn't manage to even try to move along with it.

"Harry," Tom said softly, "The meeting has ended."

The words made it to my ear, but my mind didn't process them. I tried to move my legs, or my arms, but nothing was responding. I was back in my nightmare, falling into the darkness that never seemed to end. I tried to find something, anything, that would bring me back to the world. I didn't want this. This was more than I could handle. As much as I tried to pull myself back to the edge, there was nothing that could stop me from falling now.

"Harry…" something said. It was so far away, I could barely hear it. "Harry, you…." The words faded out and I was back in the silent blackness. _Alone._ I hated that word. The word that would always perfectly describe how I always felt. But I took this word, and I forced my brain to logically think something.

_Things I hate in this world_

_This bloody fucking war_

_Being the Boy-Who-Lived/Savior/Chosen One_

_Uncle Vernon_

_Being haunted by dead people I care about_

_Being alone_

With that, I forced my mind back to the present. Tom was in front of me now, his red eyes level with mine. I looked into those eyes, those same type of eyes that he wore when he demanded the Sorcerer's Stone, and when he stood over Ginny's limp body in the Chamber of Secrets, and when he rose out of that cauldron in the cemetery, and when we battled in the Ministry of Magic, and when I saw the memory of him when he was a little boy in the orphanage, and when he appeared in the Forbidden Forest only so long ago; The eyes that I had seen a million times in my nightmares, and more recently, my dreams, but didn't know. They looked back into my own, their luminance turning my entire world red. They were Voldemort's eyes, but they were also Tom's. Those ideas still conflicted in my mind, but I knew, in the end, he would always be Tom. He understood me, and I understood him. We were linked not only by mind, but by soul, and by memories. Our only difference was our nature, and even some of that was the same. He waited to strike, built up his anger to release on the world in one powerful and deadly swipe. I went straight into battle, and burnt off my anger when it arrived. We were so much the same, but so much different at the same time, almost like our wands.

"Harry."

My mind was back to the world again. I was lying down in my bed, and Tom was sitting in a chair brought up to the side. I sat up slowly, my hand rising to meet my aching head. Snape was standing on the other side of the bed, potions in his hands. He removed the hand on my head, since the other was steadying me, and placed a one in a very small bottle in it. Without caring to ask what it was, I drank it all without even tasting it.

I looked to Snape. "That was a pain reliever, right?"

Snape looked confused for a moment. "No. That was a small dose of Veritaserum."

_What?_ I looked to Snape. "Veritaserum? What do I need Veritaserum for?"

"Well, Mr. Potter, we are about to have a little heartfelt talk here." He said, almost sounding sarcastic in his monotone voice. "I do wish for you to join us, My Lord." Tom merely nodded.

"What?" I voiced out loud. "What for?"

"We are concerned for your condition, Mr. Potter. Especially after your little freak out after the meeting. My Lord and I decided it would be best to discuss it with you, and I know for a fact that you would not do so willingly. And neither would My Lord, which is why I had one of his House Elves put some into his drink."

Tom looked to the drink in his hands, then to Snape, a deadly look in his eyes. 'You traitor', he whispered.

Snape sighed. "It's for your own good."

I backed up so I could sit upright using my pillows. My stomach felt so light, I could have easily lost my lunch trying to hold myself up.

Snape summoned a chair and sat next to the bed. "Now, what happened after the meeting, Harry?"

I could the Veritaserum working inside of me. "I was falling. Everything was dark and I was falling, but I never hit the ground. I just kept falling."

"Describe how you were falling," Snape said immediately.

"Well I was almost like a feather, falling in that floating kind of way. It was so slow and prolonged…"

"So you were descending?" he asked.

"Well, I suppose that is a better word for it. Yes."

"What caused this?" He lifted his eyebrows ever so slightly.

"When-" I tried to withhold some of my answer, but it all just came out. "When Tom said I was his, I fell into my own thoughts and got kind of lost. I had a nightmare last night of Dumbledore dying where, after he started falling, I started…descending" I corrected myself. "That's where I got lost, and I was stuck there."

Snape seemed to ponder a moment. "My Lord," Tom looked to him, eyes still glaring. "It seems both of us want to know. What did you mean when you said Harry was yours?"

"Severus…" He forced out, before he switched tongues. _/I was taking ownerssship of my property. You _are_ my captive after all. It issss only like me to…/_ he tried to stop himself, unsuccessfully, _/…to become attached to thosssse who trusssst me./_

And I was descending again.

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

_That traitorous fool…_ But I managed to get around Severus hearing it at least. _The less that is known about me, the better._ Still, it was quite infuriating to have Potter hear of it.

Severus did nothing but look at me. He obviously knew I had told Harry, and that should be enough for him. I was quite busy in my own mind, but I felt a suddenly familiar emptiness in the back of it. "Harry." I looked to him. He was gone again. I cursed to myself. "Severus, he's…"

I did not need to finish my sentence. Severus sighed once more. He had explained there was nothing to do but wait for him to comeback earlier. It was enraging that I was a powerful wizard, skilled in Legilimency, but I could not help Harry. Severus said it would be pointless since he is stuck in a memory. I decided to take advantage of the time we would be waiting.

"Severus, why are you against Harry seeing the terrible ways of muggles? It would definitely convince him to, at least, contribute to our cause. The others have been convinced the same way, so why is he different?"

He looked up from where he was watching Harry to meet my gaze. "If there were only two wizards in this world who knew the terrible nature of muggles first hand, they would be you and Harry."

I gave him a puzzled look. Harry knew of how awful muggles could be. _Yet he still lived with them for years?_ "And how, may I ask, does Harry fit into that placement?"

"Harry, as you may know, lived with his muggle aunt and uncle after you killed his parents. His aunt was jealous of Harry's mother having magical abilities, and when she was the guardian of Harry, she often neglected him, and her husband often beat him. They detested anything having to do with magic, and never let Harry knew he was a wizard. Even when Harry received his letter to Hogwarts, they tried to prevent him from knowing, but…he found out. Going to Hogwarts only made his life there more miserable."

My eyebrows rose. _So he already knows then._ "I see…then I suppose it will not be necessary then."

Severus nodded and stood. "I would like to borrow your study, if I may, My Lord."

"Of course, Severus. As long as your purpose has been made clear that you…" I tried to stop the answer from coming out, but the Veritaserum had already pushed the rest of my answer from my lips. "…are going to help Harry."

Snape smirked. "Of course, My Lord." And with that he walked out.

_**Crucio.**_ Severus fell to his knees just before the door. "And Severus," his body was quaking in his robes, "It would be wise if you would not use Veritaserum, or any other potions for that matter, on me without my consent." _**Finite.**_ Severus stopped shaking, and was taking heavy, shaking breaths.

"Yes…*pant*… My Lord." He rose to his feet unsteadily, and left the room.

I smiled slightly before my attention turned to the rustling of Harry in his bed.

"Why the bloody hell did you Crucio Snape? I'm the one you should be using your Crucio on."

"He used Veritaserum on me. I detest that. And explain why you think I would use such a curse on you." I hadn't meant to say why I cursed him. _That damned Veritaserum._

"Well I…I missed the rest of the conversation." He sounded like he was admitting to something rather than just stating fact.

"Yes, we were both aware. But it was-" _none of your concern._ I was not allowed to finish the sentence. It was every bit of Harry's concern, in reality. He would not have to bear any more horrid muggles. "We decided to skip the explanation. As it turns out, you know as much about our cause as I do. You just don't know you do."

* * *

><p>Severus Snape's POV:<p>

It was well worth it. I would have gone through a hundred Cruciatus Curses to help Lily's son. He was terribly scarred still, even if I had removed his outer scars. I wanted Harry to start over here, and move on from his past pain, but as it seems, he and Voldemort had become rather connected through their past. I could easily see that this happening would get worse before it got better, _if it ever gets better_, which I planned to make sure of. I walked down the hallway to the last door in the hallway. I knew it would be locked, so I said a quiet _**Alohomora**_ before going to opening the door. I went over to a chair and sat down.

"Bring me all books on ancient rebinding potions."

After a few moments, a cart wheeled its way over to me, two worn, dusty books on top of it. The thinner one was titled _Potionibus ut ligatis_(**1**). I opened it and flipped until I reached the table of contents. _Of course, it's all in Latin._ I sighed.

"_**Reddo**__**.**_(**2**)"

The notes appeared on the side of the book in English. Anything from blood curses to magical bonding, but none of what I was looking for. I closed the book and tossed it in front of me. The book, of course, stopped before it hit the ground and floated back up to its place on the massive grey bookcase. I opened the other one titled _E__tiam obligare_ (**3**) and preformed the same spell as I had on the last one. The table of contents revealed the one potion I was searching for. I flipped to through the pages reading various names before coming to my destination. "_T__ota anima__: This potion brings a ripped soul back together. Ingredients needed are…"_ I summoned parchment and a quill, copied down the ingredients and brewing instructions precisely, and tossed the book in front of me. As it put itself away, I folded the parchment and placed it my breast pocket. I had to go back to my lab and make this potion immediately.

I apparated away and landed in my lab. After quickly checking and gathering all of the necessary ingredients, I summoned my cauldron and started to brew. It definitely had some odd ingredients, but I did not have time to question it. _That will have to wait until later._ It already took long enough to make, and the sooner I got this to the Dark Lord, the sooner I could rest easy.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

My mind was plagued. I could not banish the thoughts that were swarming it. Not only was I thinking of the future battles that would go on that I had discussed earlier with my Death Eaters, but also Harry. Harry was so emotional compared to me; it was odd for him to be gone like he had today. It left a cold empty place in my mind where heat is usually plentiful.

I got into my bed and looked up to the black ceiling above me.

I found Harry's emotions to be irritating at times, but I found that they were also helpful, in a way. There were not many feelings inside me. I was, quite literally, a body brought back to life. I was alive, but I could not live. I, of course, remember when I had these feelings. I hurt so badly, it was almost unbearable. This new me would never feel that way. Voldemort could not feel, or have weakness. Voldemort was all strength and power. But Harry has brought back things I had once forgotten. Harry was like Tom. They were vulnerable, weak, and let their feelings control them. But Harry was different from Tom. Harry knows what love feels like. He knows what true happiness is, and what loyalty means, and how to trust others. I once thought Potter was weak and powerless, but he has proven that these things only make him stronger, more persistent, determined, and stable. He was, dare I say, a real threat to me, especially now.

_I've had enough of this irrational rant in my mind._ I growled under my breath. _**Accio Draught of Peace**_. A potion bottle flew into my hand. I could see it shimmer slightly in the darkness of my room. After opening it, I drank the entire thing and my clouded mind cleared up. I was relieved. _Sleep will come easy now._ I closed my eyes. There was no difference between the darkness of my room and having my eyes closed. I found this to be rather calming. I might have gone to sleep too, but the back of my mind was tingling. I sighed. Of course Potter would be having another nightmare right when I was about to go to sleep. I debated going to his room like I had yesterday (more like early today). There was nothing stopping me except the oddity of it. I had gone in to wake him, give him some of the potion I had just taken, and tell him to go back to sleep. He thrashed around when I grabbed him, probably still in the nightmare, but when he woke, he crawled into my arms. It was completely unexpected, but then again, that was Potter. I let him fall asleep again before levitating him back into his bed.

I got out of my bed once more and went to the door. _I'll Accio the draught in his room if he needs it._ I walked down the hallway, into the dark meeting room. The shadows that fell across the walls made the room fit perfect to the description of any Dark Lord's manor. I turned and went up the stairs and over to Harry's room at the end of the hall. _**Alohomora**_. The door opened and I could see Harry in his bed, small whimpers escaping his throat. I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed, wondering what could be causing all of his fear. _I can easily find out…_ I let my mind reach out to Harry's and was sucked into his dream.

I was standing by a lake and the sky was dark; Trees on all sides of the lake. Lying on the ground before me was a man. I knew him from somewhere, but I could put my finger on it. He had ruffled black hair, along with some facial hair. He looked rugged. He had the look Bellatrix had, almost like they were too crazy to groom themselves. His eyes were closed and over him was a Dementor, sucking the soul from his body. I fell to my knees and tried to yell out to him, but my voice was gone. Suddenly, a small blue orb of light arose from his mouth. The Dementor reached its black, bone-hand out to it, but an eruption of light energy burst from the other side of the lake. The Dementor was pushed away. I expected the light to go back into the man's mouth, but instead it floated there. I reached a hand out to the light, trying to push it back in, but it passed through my hand. Then there was Bellatrix, a wicked smile on her face and wand pointed towards him. '_**Avada Kedavra**_' she whispered, and the green bolt shot from her wand. I jumped in front of the bolt, but it went through me as well. The man was hit and the light above his mouth disappeared.

I came back just as Harry screamed out. _That was… Sirius Black?_ Harry was thrashing now. I placed my arms on his shoulders, trying to restrain him.

'Harry. Wake up!'

Harry stopped thrashing, but was obviously still dreaming. He tried to turn over, but my arms stopped him.

'Harry!'

Harry's eyes opened wide. He was panting heavily and I felt tears on my hands. He swallowed hard, then continued panting.

'Harry. Calm down.'

Harry sat up and wiped his face. 'Tom?'

_Why does he call me that? I hate me given name._ 'Yes.' I grumbled and removed my hands from his shoulders.

He sat there silent for a few moments. 'I hate nightmares.'

'Well I can see why. That was a terribly scarring moment.'

He looked to me. 'You saw?'

'Yes. That was Sirius Black, correct?'

Harry sighed. 'Yes. He was my godfather. He was all the family I had left.'

'What about those muggles? Are they not related to you?'

He scoffed. 'They were related to me, yes, but they weren't family. '

_So Severus was being, at least partially, truthful after all._ I nodded. Being without family was something I understood, as was being treated terribly by muggles. Harry lifted his knees to his chest and placed his chin on them. _He is vulnerable. Weak. He may not be able to help as we had wished._

'Tom?'

'Yes, Harry?'

He was silent a while. An odd feeling came into the back of my mind. I couldn't identify it exactly, but it was warm as ever. _Was he…embarrassed?_

'Did you…this may sound really weird, and you can just curse me if you think so, but…did you come into my room yesterday?'

I paused. 'Yes. I came to give you a calming draught. I could…sense you weren't sleeping well.'

'So I wasn't dreaming?'

That earned a questionable look his way. 'Dreaming?'

The tingle grew warmer in my mind. 'Nevermind. Can I have the calming draught?'

_**Accio Draught of Peace.**_ I handed the bottle in my hand to Harry, who drank it down easily. 'Now sleep.'

Harry nodded and lay down. I stood and went over to the door.

'Good night, Tom.'

I paused once more. Potter knew how to confuse me well. 'Pleasant dreams.' I whispered.

Once I got back to my bed, I understood what Harry said he was descending. It was a strange feeling in the stomach that makes your throat burn and your eyes blink an extra time. A feeling that draws you closer to something you expect, but it never comes as quickly as you want it to.

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><p><strong>Hope you guys liked it! :) I made it longer. 8 pages in Microsoft Word to be exact. ;) And now I have to pack for a 6 day trip. Not that it won't be fun, but I'm driving there, so I'm gonna be bored out of my mind. Thank goodness for this story. :) You guys are AMAZING! Hoped you liked it. Review! M'kay, thanks. :D<strong>

**1. It means "Potions to Bind" in Latin. :)**

**2. It means "Translate" in Latin. I firgured that turning the whole book into English would be no fun. Plus Sev IS one to write notes in books... hehehe**

**3. It means "To Bind Again" in Latin. :)**


	9. Blinding Light and Shadowed Darkness

**Chapter 9: Blinding Light and Shadowed Darkness**

**I had a fun time on vacation! I spent some time writing this chapter, but not as much as I would have liked to. Still, I had way more than I thought I would have. I really appreciate all of your comments! I know I usually reply to all of your comments, but some of them didn't have anything to reply to, other than updating sooner, Hehehe. So to those who commented and I didn't reply to, THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING! :)**

**Twilight Chick 01: Hehehe. That is very true, he is. I like what your imagination came up with. :D**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Thank you. Yes, I know it is awesome. ;)**

**LIGHTNSHADOWS: Thanks for your comment! And, you will find out soon enough… *dark chuckle***

**Shadow Amarilis: Lol. Yea. I spent some time thinking of Harry's name. And Snape has a reason for spiking his drink! Everything has a reason! Kind of… maybe… Hehehe.**

**You guys are amazing! Enjoy!**

**Note: I do not own Harry Potter, of any of the characters. If I did, I wouldn't be dying on the inside waiting for "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" movie to come out in theaters. I only own this story.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; DUDES DOING IT; CAN'T MAKE THAT ANY MORE CLEAR; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

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><p>"Night-time sharpens<br>Heightens each sensation  
>Darkness stirs and wakes imagination<br>Silently the senses abandon their defenses  
>Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor<br>Grasp it  
>Sense it<br>Tremulous and tender  
>Turn your face away from the garish light of day<br>Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light"

-_Music of the Night_ by Phantom of the Opera (Andrew Lloyd Webber)

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I woke up the next morning worn out. That calming draught had worked wonders, but I had the oddest dream I've ever had. I only remember something about riding a unicorn named Doug and yelling "Not the chicken!" I hated dreaming as much as I hated nightmares. I wish, for once, I could just sleep and not have my thoughts take over my mind.

_Things I hate in this world_

_This bloody fucking war_

_Being the Boy-Who-Lived/Savior/Chosen One_

_Uncle Vernon_

_Being haunted by dead people I care about_

_Being alone_

_Having dreams/nightmares_

I stayed lying down in bed. I didn't want to get up. It was one of those mornings where nothing matters, and the mere thought of having to get up and move makes me groan. I yawned. Maybe I should at least brush my teeth. _**Accio Toothbrush**_! Nothing happened. I groaned again. _Bloody wandless magic_. I still didn't move. I figured, if anyone missed me, they would come find me. It's not like I had been anywhere else in this house, so it wouldn't be so hard. I wanted to roll over and put my face into the silky pillow, but my arms didn't want to move and I wasn't going to make them. I had no idea what time it was, but I figured it was somewhere in the late morning. I yawned again. I felt so tired, but I didn't dare go back to sleep. I didn't want to risk another invasion from my thoughts. I yawned once more. _But I'm so tired_... I closed my eyes, praying for something dreamless. A light rest, a deep slumber, a power nap; I just needed sleep.

I woke up again. Another odd dream... I pushed away anything that came to mind. I definitely did not want to remember that. Another yawn (**1**). How long was I asleep? I still didn't want to move, and so I didn't. I lay there staring at the ceiling. I was thinking of ways to motivate myself out of bed, but I couldn't seem to think of anything that would get me up. _What if there is another Death Eater meeting today; I should go to that. Maybe someone I could ask someone to explain what I know about Tom's cause exactly. I could work on my wandless magic. What if Tom is worrying..._ I stopped myself right there. The day Tom worries about me, and it not having anything to do with me escaping or attacking because he doesn't trust me, is the day Draco and Ron will become best friends. That would never happen. Not in a hundred years and in another dimension. The thought made me sad. Not about Draco and Ron, but about Tom. I wanted him to trust me. He told me that he is possessive with people who trust him, but I don't know of anyone, besides myself, who has trusted him. Not even his most loyal Death Eaters trust him like I do. _Why do I trust him? Just knowing he can kill me at any time should be reason enough to not trust him, but somehow, I know he wouldn't because he said he wouldn't. I know there isn't anyone else in the world who would believe that._ _So why do I believe him?_ _Is it because of the connection we have? Usually my scar hurts around him, but lately it hasn't hurt at all, not even a bit._ _If it had, I would know something was up. All the other times I've seen him, when he had intentions to hurt me in some way or another, it had. Something is different now. He doesn't want to hurt me; he wants to be allies. But to be allies, there needs to be at least some trust, or there will be betrayals. I trust him, but Tom must trust me for this to work. I've got to talk to him_. I groaned again. _Damn. I _was_ able to convince myself._... I got up and got ready.

I transfigured my clothes, which were a grey t-shirt and jeans, into a deep green shirt and darker jeans, and put them on. I tried to fix my unruly hair in the mirror, but it was pointless. I looked at myself. My green eyes were a dark peridot. I expected my skin to be pale from just sitting in bed this whole time, but it actually had some color to it. My shirt fit me perfectly and my jeans made my lean legs look a bit slimmer. I didn't care to wear shoes around this manor that I probably wouldn't ever leave.

I opened the door to the hallway and walked out. The hallway was brightly lit, but not as much as it was yesterday. The lights were slightly yellow, giving the hallway the look of mid-morning. _Is it really only mid-morning? No wonder I've just been lying down and nobody's bothered to find me. I really need a clock in my room_. I walked down the hallway and down the stairs into the large room. Tom was there, finishing breakfast. _I really have woken up bloody early and just sat in bed until a decent time._ I stood next to the chair next to Tom.

"Why don't you sit, Harry?"

"Because I'm not hungry, and I know that if I sit down, the elves will have a plate of breakfast in front of me before I can refuse it."

Tom nodded and sat back as he was done with his plate. An elf came and picked it up. "Would Mr. Harry Potter want some breakfast?" Sadie squeaked.

"No, I'm fine thank you."

The elf popped away. I sat down in the chair, facing Tom. He looked at me expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well... I was just thinking... about this thing..."

"What _thing_?"

"Us, being allies. I feel there isn't enough..." I searched for a word. I figured it would be best if I avoided the word 'trust'. "...cooperation."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And what have we not 'cooperated' on?"

"Well... I just feel like we can't be good allies until both sides are equal."

"Equal in what, exactly?"

"Allies need certain things to be mutual so they don't break the truce. Things like...guidelines... and... and trust and-"

"Oh. So that's what this is about? Trust? You don't trust me."

I sighed. "Quite the opposite. You don't trust me."

Tom pondered a bit before replying. "What planted that thought in your head?"

"Lots of things. You lock the doors to the rooms, even the one I sleep in. You took away my wand, and won't tell me where it is. So far, I haven't a clue what you are planning to do. And I know you would probably kill me before I am allowed to leave your manor."

Tom let a small smile slip before he challenged me. "I trust you as much as you trust me."

"No you don't. I trust you more than you trust me. Probably more than is possible from anyone else. I trust everything you say to be true. I took your trade, stayed in your manor, ate your food, wore your clothes, and went to a Death Eater's meeting for crying out loud. How much more trust could you ask from your ex-arch enemy?"

Tom just looked at me, possibly thinking about it, possibly trying to not be annoyed. A few moments of silence passed. Tom looked around a bit before finally saying, "We can discuss this later. I have some business to attend to."

I gave him a puzzled look. _Business?_ "What kind of business?"

Tom waves it off with his hand and walked down a hallway that led off somewhere. I just sighed and went back up to my room. It, of course, was locked, which only made me more irritated with him. Tom was only further proving his mistrust. I used a slow-acting _**Alohomora**_ that took several times to work because of my lack of concentration. I went straight to my bed, put my face into my silk pillow, and wished I had never gotten out of bed.

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><p>Severus Snape's POV:<p>

The potion was finally finished and bottled. I placed it in my pocket and straitened my robes as much as I could. It was a pointless gesture, but when meeting a Dark Lord, one does try to look their best. I had owled him about an hour or two ago that I had a follow up potion ready for him. I told him that the potion I had given him to regain his young adult body needed an occasional prolonging potion. I was expecting him to question me in his reply, since I failed to mention any such thing when I gave him the original potion, but there was none. I met him at his house at the designated time and in his bottom floor private meeting room beside his own quarters (not the large spacious one). When I arrived, he was pacing back and forth, his mind obviously elsewhere.

"My Lord, is something troubling you?"

"Not at all, Severus. I assume you have the potion."

"Yes, My Lord. It is right here." I pulled it from my pocket and presented it to him. He took it without hesitation and drank it. I closed my eyes. I knew after deceiving him like this, he would never trust me again, but this was for the better.

There are two very important things many often are confused about with me. The first was my side of the war. If Harry Potter was the Light side and Voldemort was the Dark side, I was the grey area in the middle. Yes, I was both in the Order and a Death Eater. I found both sides to be wrong in some subjects and right in others. Every time I saw Harry, I saw James. I despised James throughout my school years, and even on afterwards. Yet I would see his mother in his eyes. I had loved his mother with all my being. Knowing Potter was a mixture of both made my treatment of him mixed as well. When I was around him, I made sure to make it known that I would rather be elsewhere, yet I made sure nothing would hurt him. I felt it was a mistake of Dumbledore's to burden Harry with the war almost as soon as he arrived at Hogwarts. Then with the Dark Lord, I agreed with his many political views, but his going about it is all wrong. He needed more wizards to side with him, and fear was not the way to get them. With this, not only do I hope to help Harry from trusting his memories to someone who has shut off that part of himself, but it might actually straighten Voldemort out and gain more people for his side. This potion alone would not accomplish that, but I am hopeful that afterwards, the connection between Harry and Voldemort will make Voldemort more understanding and less... intimidating.

Voldemort immediately dropped to his knees. "Severus...what... is going on?" he clenched his fists.

"Please, My Lord. Forgive me. But this is for the better."

Voldemort let out a yell of pain, his head falling hitting the floor, and his eyes tightly shut. He let out several hisses that I assumed were curse words. I scowled as he writhed in pain. I had to look away, for it was painful for me to see him so vulnerable. He continued to yell out, and I figured Potter would hear sooner or later. Potter... I must keep one horcrux. I quickly left the room to find him. I went out into the large meeting room and up the stairs quickly, anxious to see how Harry is affected. A wandless _**Alohomora**_ and I opened the door to Harry clutching his head as he lay on the floor next to his bed groaning in pain. For this whole thing to go as planned, Harry needed to keep that part of Voldemort's soul. I pulled out the other potion I had in my pocket, the potion that I had read cancels out the potion I had given to My Lord, and kneeled next to him. I grabbed his chin and he tried to jerk it back. I felt his jaw clench.

"Harry, you MUST drink this. It will stop the pain." Harry still tried to jerk away, but he took the potion. Almost instantaneously, his pain stopped, and he laid spread out on the floor in relief.

"Thank you, Professor. What in the world was that anyway?"

"Before we get into that, would you mind explaining how it felt?"

Harry was puzzled, but answered, "It was like a part of me was being ripped away."

"Do you feel like you are missing a part of you, or are you whole?"

He thought a moment, searching to make sure. He shut his eyes and regulated his breathing. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and nodded. "I'm whole."

I sighed in relief. I had made it in time. "Well, Mr. Potter. I'm afraid I have dumped you in a very delicate situation, of which might affect every aspect of your life as you may know it. Of course, you have never been so good with handling delicate situations, but I am sure you will fix it in ways that you will find appropriate."

"What are you talking about?"

"Harry, I have used a potion on Voldemort to cause his soul to become whole again, even the parts you have killed. The potion I gave you cancels that out, and so you still have part of his soul. I need you to help the Dark Lord become accustomed to this and help him achieve his political goals using other methods." Harry stared at me, complete disbelief in his face. "I assure you that I am not lying, Potter. I need you to do this, for I am no longer able. In fact, I should probably avoid being anywhere near here." I stood.

"What? Why? How am I supposed to do this?"

Looking to the door, then back to Harry, I replied, "I must leave as soon as I can. My Lord will be looking for revenge because of my betrayal. You are grown now, Harry. You know what is best for your followers and for all others. I find you will be successful in ending this war and bringing forth Voldemort's views of how to better this world. I would wish you luck…" I added, "but it has always been on your side." With that, I pulled his wand from my robes and gave it to him before pulling out my own and apparating away.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

_WHAT?_ Snape told me he just fixed my life's purpose with one potion, and now, basically, that my new purpose was to fix everything. I didn't know how to react, but I knew I had to find Tom. _I wished I asked Snape where he was._ I went down to the spacious room and into the hallway I was pretty sure Tom went down.

I heard nothing down the hallway, and no doors were open, so I called out to him. "Tom! Tom, where are you? Are you okay? Tom!"

I listened, but heard nothing. I tried the doors, the first two were locked, and so were the next two. There were only two more doors and I was getting nervous. I tried the door next to the one at the end of the hall. Amazingly, it was unlocked. I went inside and saw a regular-sized table with four chairs, and Tom was lying on the ground to the side of the table. Before I knew what I was doing, I ran over to him and kneeled next to him.

"Tom?" He didn't answer. He didn't move. He barely even breathed. I didn't know what to do. I hadn't brought my wand with me, and even if I had, I didn't know any useful healing spells. I looked down at him. He looked normal, like he was in a peaceful sleep. I had to get him somewhere to lie comfortably. I concentrated. "_**Accio Wand**_". Slowly, but surely, my wand appeared around the door a few minutes later. Before I could levitate him, I had to find somewhere to put him. I went back out to the hall. The next room at the end of the hallway, I assumed, was a bedroom, so that should work.

"_**Alohomora**_" the door easily opened and I gazed upon the largest room I had ever seen. The bed looked as if ten people could sleep comfortably on it, and had black silk sheets and a matching black silk pillow. The walls were black, or more a really dark grey, and two big sitting chairs on either side of the room, that could have fit Uncle Vernon and Dudley in it, were somewhat fuzzy and also black. A large ebony door led to what was presumed to be the bathing room. A charcoal rug lay in front of the dark trunk in front of the bed, and a long black desk had a few books on top of it. The only thing that wasn't black in the room was the grand, decorative chandelier that hung from the ceiling. It was a bright, glimmering silver, and the lack of light from the rest of the room cast gloomy shadows over it. It was a beacon of light covered by the darkness that surrounded it. This was a room fit for a Dark Lord.

I went back and levitated Tom onto the bed, and put him under the dark sheets. I levitated one chair over to the side of his bed, sat down, and waited. I assumed it would be awhile until he woke, but I didn't feel right leaving him, especially now. As Snape said, I had to make sure he was making through this change alright. I am responsible for him. I never would have guessed I would have that thought without the words "being dead" at the end, or something of that nature. But there I was, making sure he was okay.

"Sadie."

The familiar little house elf popped in (it was the only elf I knew the name of) and said "Does Mr. Potter be needed something?"

"Yes, can you check and make sure Tom is okay?"

She nodded and popped away. She came back with an older looking elf. He looked over Tom, blue light shining from his palms adding a navy shadow to the black room. The older elf nodded.

"Master be okay" he said in a husky, scratchy voice, before popping away.

I stayed next to his side. With his eyes closed, he looked almost like any normal guy, asleep in a bed. His dark hair was manageable, and always in perfect order; His face looked young and intelligent. He was rather, if I may say so, handsome, and I could feel his circle of influence around him even if he was asleep. He had a certain something about him that made him so charismatic. I lay back in my chair and continued to look him over, and before long, I fell asleep whispering my unanswered questions to him.

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I have always been used to darkness. Darkness was sleep, and comfort, and cover from the light. This was awful, exposing brightness. I absolutely despised this. Light was everywhere, surrounding me, blinding me, and engulfing anything I had never intended it to. I was nocturnal, but thrown into the broad light of day, and the sun's rays were singeing my skin and blistering my eyes. It was worse than any curse I have endured. I was clawing for something to help me escape this, but I was not sure my numb body was responding. Then I could see the outer edge, where the circle of intense rays ended and familiar shadows crept in. It whispered to me, 'Tom... Tom...,' I needed it, with every fiber of my being, yet my body was entwined in the light. Its restraints would not release me; I was immobile, but I would not, could not, let myself fall victim to the light. It was my mortal enemy, my exact opposite. How does one escape such a prison?

The circle of light was slowly getting smaller, yet more concentrated. Soon I was trapped inside a spotlight of pure sun beams. The intensity ate at my insides, and so I was slowly withering away. I needed the shadows now. In the shadows I would grow stronger, and my wounds would heal. The spot of light continued to shrink into a small needle piercing my chest just above my heart. This needle continued to stab my chest. The pain was excruciating, like pure fire welding my chest. Then it disappeared, and familiar, comforting darkness closed around me. 'Tom…' it whispered once more. 'Why don't you trust me?'

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><p><strong>:D So? What do you think? I wrote that WHOLE THING while on vacation. Hehehe, And I felt the ending needed to be right there in the story. I hope you guys liked it. Please comment. I could always use some advice from my readers, and fellow writers. :)<strong>

**1. Every time I made Harry yawn, I was yawning. It was super late, and I was tired, so I figured that would work, since Harry was also tired. :) Just thought you should know that.**


	10. Chances

**Chapter 10: Chances**

**Hey guys! It's 7-11-11! Which means Seven-Eleven stores are giving away free 7.11oz Slurpees! Where I live, there are like 5 Seven-Eleven stores here, so I've already had 4 free slurpees and plan on hitting that last one later. ;) Pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. :) I worked on this chapter, and tried to get it done as soon as possible, because I have to go to a birthday party later, so sorry that it's kinda short. I promise I will be writing again when I get home. :D**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Thank you. :) **

**Bluetoads: Not what I had in mind when I wrote it, but definitely interesting. I don't know about Tom mentally running into Harry's head, since I can't imagine him running from anything (that's just my thoughts, Hehehe). I was thinking the Light would be his soul being sewn back together and the darkness would be the comfort he had when it was over, not to mention his surroundings were dark as well. :) I'm glad you like Severus. Yes, Tom is the one Harry is trusting his memories to, but he didn't give them to Tom, exactly. Snape knows Tom can see Harry's nightmares, and that Harry knows Tom has been through the same things Harry has and thinks he and Tom understand each other. But Snape also knows that Tom has purposely forgotten those things, and that is why he needed his whole soul, so he has no choice but to remember them. No, you are not dense, Hehehe. I dedicate the first part of the story (Severus's POV) to you (and other people who don't understand this) because I have been so vague. Sorry about the confusion. And I did have fun on my vacation. :D**

**Aliengirlguy: Thanks! Glad you think so. :D**

**Note: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. I wish. I only own this story. **

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

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><p>"Look at me<br>Look into my eyes  
>Tell me do you see that I am always by your side?<br>Or has the world got you down on your knees?  
>Come to me"<p>

-_Look at Me_ by Keri Noble

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><p>Severus Snape's POV:<p>

I had finally accomplished what I had been planning to do ever since Lord Voldemort informed me that he wished to have Harry as an ally. I know I would probably never get to see the results of this, of course, but, as I have already calculated, not much could go wrong, especially with Harry's perseverance. Even if this may be so, I can't help the feeling that I should have helped My Lord get through the terrible pain of soul rebinding, but it was crucial for me to stay alive at the end of this. Just because Voldemort no longer wishes me to live doesn't mean Harry will not need me for help. At first, I did not intend to give Potter this help, and for My Lord to end my life, but I feel it may be beneficial, if not to the world then to my sanity, for me to insure things would end better than before, for both sides. I made note of things that would be better to help my nerves.

_Because Lord Voldemort has his entire soul once more, he will remember the dreaded memories he forgot, and Harry will be there to comfort him because he understands (not to mention Harry's Gryffindor tendencies that make this second nature to him)_

_Because Harry no longer has any horcruxes to destroy, or Dark Lords to kill, a large part of stress from Harry's life will be lifted_

_Because Harry is going to help Lord Voldemort through his past scars, My Lord will be (and I despise using this word. It makes him closer to a small child, or a trained animal) taught to not use fear to gain people, but compassion_

_Because Lord Voldemort will be able to understand what Harry has been through, Harry will no longer act like a depressed teenage girl whom no one understands_

_Because Lord Voldemort will no longer be considered "evil", the war will end and many people's lives will be saved_

_Because both Harry and Lord Voldemort will be politically working together, magical children in muggle custody will definitely be sure to get more care and concern (as that was My Lord's original cause, but it got lost somewhere and altered into just ridding of anything muggle, even part-muggle wizard's and witches)_

There was not much that could go wrong, but, of course there is always the possibility…

_Instead of Harry being off the hook because there is no evil to stop, witches and wizards of all types will go to him with their problems and expect him to fix them (which is very likely due to his "Savior" status)_

_Instead of My Lord overcoming his terrible past, he will fall into a state of mental instability where he relives his most terrible memories at random times (much like muggle war veterans did after very awful and blood-filled wars) _

_Instead of Harry feeling better and not depressed anymore, both he and My Lord will act like depressed teenage girls whom no one understands (although that is so very unlikely because Lord Voldemort has too much self-respect)_

_Instead of Lord Voldemort being considered "not evil" when it is announced that Harry has joined his cause, Harry will be considered "evil"_

I knew that these things at least had a slim chance, but I could not let the possible negative consequences rid of the chance for the possible positive consequences, especially since the positive would, in turn, be far more positive than the negative would be negative (**In short: positive outcomes are too good to not chance the negative outcomes for**). My intuition has more than confirmed this.

For now, however, I had to hide away, and wait for Potter's calls for help, if they ever come (which I doubt). Knowing the excellent hunting methods of Lord Voldemort, I decided I would have to hide in the muggle world that was London. I was in a flat that would make My Lord turn his nose up in disgust at its very small size. _It will do fine, for now._ I had to have the least possible amount of interaction with anyone, magical or non, so there will be no way of finding me, yet I could remain close enough to Harry. I did, of course, put up wards around my flat, get muggle clothes, and put up my wand and robes. All there was left to do was await any news on the situation. As much as I despised not being involved, I knew it was best. I sighed aloud, letting Harry control the outcome.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I was so thankful to wake up in my room. That light was terrible, and I shall never go through that again. I could care less that I had no idea what happened, what Severus did to me, I was just relieved to be back in my comfortable dark room. I felt different though. Something about my relieved feelings made me question things. I felt twice as relieved as I normally would have, and it was odd. I opened my eyes to my dark room, and Harry in the chair next to my bed looking extremely tired.

"Hey, Tom. How are you feeling?"

_Tom. I detest that name._ "I'm fine, I suppose. I am in one piece right?"

Harry chuckled humorlessly. "More than you know."

I waited for him to continue on and explain what he meant by that odd statement, but he did not.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well…Snape told me about what he did. I'm afraid he isn't around to give you the news, so I'm the unfortunate one to tell you-"

"Out with it already." I commanded.

"You're human again. Your soul is one hundred percent whole, minus my piece of course, so…" he was obviously doing some calculations in his head, and taking his time, but my shocked silence allowed him to continue. "You have about eighty six percent of your soul."

I never would have though it possible for me to be actually afraid. Threatened, yes, but never afraid. I was actually afraid of this. I could die easily, not to mention the terrible experiences I last had when my soul was last whole. This was madness.

I could feel Harry's unusually luminous green eyes stare at me. I turned to look at him and was not expecting what I saw. He was dressed in a nice green shirt and jeans, but his eyes drew me in. With the brightness of a cat's eyes, but the composure of a snake's, his eyes were almost hypnotizing. I was breathless under their gaze. _I'm so weak. Useless under the gaze of another._ _Pathetic humanity_. I couldn't catch my breath back until I looked away.

"I'm...human..." the words tasted sour in my mouth. I could still feel Harry's eyes upon me, but I would not meet them.

"Yea." he rubbed his head. He obviously needed sleep, but I would not allow him asleep until he fully explained this.

"How..." I started, but immediately answered my own question. Severus gave me a potion. He lied, telling me it was to prolong my youth, yet it only brought forward my weakness. "What do I do now?" the question seemed so simple, if not, completely idiotic.

"Well, I assume you need to get used to having an entire soul and all, so I guess that's what you could do, for now."

_Becoming accustomed to this..._ I wasn't so sure about that, but it was necessary to get on with my life. An odd feeling came over me. I was ready to take this challenge, even if I knew I would absolutely despise it, no matter what came in the way. The feeling was...I forgot the name. "Harry, I'm not sure. It has...been awhile since I have been so...human. I have no remembrance of these odd...things inside of me. Like _feelings_..." I crunched my nose in disgust. Dark Lords absolutely _do not_ have feelings.

"Oh. Uh...ok. Should I... I don't know... Help you?"

I pondered that. _What would the harm be? Harry is no threat to me, at the moment. Also, he believes I should take more actions to show I trust him. It seems to be beneficial..._

"Alright, Harry. Go ahead."

Harry looked at me awkwardly, and then around the room. "Ok. Uh...How do I do that?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Can you not use our mind link? I know it is not one-sided." I snapped. It was odd for me to be so short on temper. I hadn't meant to sound so. I would have to control these insufferable and unpredictable emotions.

"Well... I- Uh...haven't used it, ever. And I'm not so skilled in Legimency."

Another sigh. I suppose if I had to be the one to teach him, I would do so correctly to prevent further instruction. "Just close your eyes," he did so. "Now feel around your mind until you feel something almost foreign, but still a part of you. It should be around the back of your skull." a few moments of silence before a slight nod came from Harry. "Now tap on it, ever so slightly, like you were knocking on a door." I felt my mental barrier shift vastly. _Obviously his door knocking is very different from my door knocking..._ "Alright. When I open my mind, you should feel something odd come over you, like a sudden change in mood. That is the strange _emotions_ I am having." The word still stuck to my tongue. _What a terrible word…_

Harry nodded and concentrated hard. I opened my barriers, something I rarely do, and let Harry view the feeling. He smiled slightly and opened his eyes. "You are prepared. You are persistent on becoming used to this and..." he looked at me, an irritating grin on his face, "... You secretly think you might enjoy it."

I suppose it was halfway true. After seeing Harry and what these things have done for him, maybe I did want to achieve the maximum possible power I could have, but it was ridiculous to say I would _enjoy _it. I would despise this until the day I would die, which seemed to be closer than once thought.

I rolled my eyes. "That is absurd. I will most certainly _not_ enjoy this _at all_."

Harry just kept grinning. "Oh. No, of course, not."

_Insufferable brat._ I was irritated so easily. _This is despicable._ "As it seems," I began, intending for Harry to come up with a quick solution to this, "I feel more of each _feeling_ than I would normally. And I have less control of them. Is that…" I clenched my jaw. Asking Potter for (and this word is not normally in my dictionary) help was not something I enjoyed doing, but it had to be done. "…normal?" I finished through my teeth.

"Most likely. I guess, when your soul was split up, you only had part of your emotions, so you could control them easier. But now you have all of your soul, mostly, so it's harder to control because it's…bigger, in a way."

I nodded. _That makes sense…_

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The rest of the day went by quickly. Mostly Tom asking me about his "weird feelings" and him being all grouchy at me when I saw something in his mind he hadn't intended me to, like how appreciative he was that I was helping him, or how he felt he needed to trust me more since I mentioned how I feel he doesn't. It was the little things like those that got me through the day with a grin on my face. _So Tom really does care. Hahaha._ I would have teased him out loud, but he was so grumpy about the whole thing, so I didn't push my luck. _Just because he was more human now doesn't mean he can't Crucio me._ I knew he really wouldn't, even if he wanted to, but I didn't want to find out.

I stayed by his bedside until he decided to try to walk, which he did successfully, then he kicked me out of his "private quarters", so he could get ready for bed. I shrugged it off. There were still many things I hadn't told him about this, like why Snape did it, and how he gave me his wand back. I was more than sure the thoughts had crossed Tom's mind, but I suppose he never voiced them. I needed to tell him these things, of course, so I decided to wait by his door. I left my wand in the other room, so I went back in and got it. Right next to it was an owl. I looked it over, hoping to see something familiar about it, but I hadn't seen it before. I went over to it and removed the note from its leg. It read:

_Dear Harry, _

_Where in the world have you gone off to? We've all been worried sick! After you mysteriously left, Luna told us everything. Harry, what did you trade You-Know-Who to get Luna back? You know we will find you in a heartbeat if he harms a single hair on you. Please, come back. Ron hasn't been the same. He won't eat, or get out of bed. Mrs. Weasley has gotten the entire Order searching for you. We don't want you to get hurt. We need you safe, Harry._

_Love,  
>Hermione<em>

The note sent shock down my spine. I had almost forgotten about Hermione and Ron and them. _They have the whole Order looking for me? Ron isn't eating?_ My leaving obviously made a mess of things there. I looked around for some parchment. There was none, so I just used the back of the note, and transfigured a chair into a quill and ink temporarily. After I finished my note, I reread it, making sure I said everything I needed to say.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I know I left unexpectedly, but I promise I'm okay. I know everyone will freak out when you tell them, but I traded Luna for me. It was the only way to save her, and Tom hasn't hurt me in any way. Tell Ron I'm sorry, and Mrs. Weasley to call of the search. I feel really bad for causing so much trouble. I hadn't thought of the consequences. It was one of my "act-don't-think" moments. I am perfectly safe. Snape, however, is in need of some protection. I'm sure, if he is found, he can explain everything that has gone on while I have been here. I have to stay here for now, but I promise to be back by the time school starts._

_Love,  
>Harry<em>

I nodded and tied it to the owl's leg. It flew out the open door. After the quill and ink transfigured back into a chair, I grabbed my wand and went back to Tom's door. I knocked on it, and received no answer. Sighing, I sat back down in front of the door. _What am I going to do? I know when Snape tells them everything they will immediately try to find me. I can't just bail on Tom. He really needs some guidance._ I tilted my head back against the door. _What a mess I've made of things._

* * *

><p><strong>Hoped you liked it! Sorry again that it's kinda short. I will start on the next chapter ASAP! For now, I'm going to go get that fifth free slurpee at Seven-Eleven. :) *dark chuckle* Hehehe<strong>

**I really appreciate everything! Thank you for favorite-ing my story, and me as an author, and sighing up for alerts, and commenting! I smile every time. :) You guys are amazing. Feedback on this chapter, please? M'kay thanks!**


	11. Past

**Chapter 11: Past**

**Hey guys! So I went to the birthday party, it was a bunch of fun, then I come back and I have a bunch of emails telling me that people have favorited and reviewed and signed up for alerts. Needless to say, I was super surprised in a really awesome way. :) You guys rock! **

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: I'm glad you liked it. :)**

**Bunnykitune: Thank you. Hehehe, I sadly don't live close enough to a Seven-Eleven store to know when their shift change is, but the idea is pretty awesome. I applaud you! *claps***

**YaoiCookies87: Hehehe. Thanks! I'm glad you like my story. :D**

**xxSnowxxAngelxx: Yep. He sure did. He was so preoccupied with Tom. And yes, he is giving THE Dark Lord help. Hehehe, evil of me, I know. ;)**

**You know, I lost track of how many days have passed in this story, so I had to count them. Turns out, only FOUR DAYS have passed. Isn't that crazy? So much has gone on, kinda seems like a month. But no, it hasn't even been a week yet. **

**Note: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. I do, however own this story, and soon I will also own a pair of tickets to see Deathly Hallows part 2 at its midnight premier! Excitement! Oh yea, don't sue.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; ****RAPE SCENES****; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

* * *

><p>"It's a quarter after one<br>I'm all alone  
>And I need you now<br>Said I wouldn't come  
>But I lost all control<br>And I need you now  
>And I don't know how I could do without<br>I just need you now"

-_Need You Now_ by Lady Antebellum

"I'm walking down the line  
>That divides me somewhere in my mind<br>On the borderline of the edge  
>And where I walk alone"<p>

-_Boulevard of Broken Dreams_ by Green Day

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

After tossing Harry from my room, I got ready for bed. It had been a long day for me. I had never before crammed so much knowledge into my brain in one day. I had to match each feeling with a name and memorize it, which may sound easy, but considering humans have so many useless emotions, it was harder than once thought. I had grown frustrated from it and longed to be alone with my thoughts once more. I did, however, give some credit to Harry for (and I say this through my teeth) helping me with all of this. I knew it couldn't possibly be easy to (I despise using this word) teach someone what feelings mean what, especially with me being less-than cooperative. I stood in front of my mirror in my bathroom, one hand on the granite near my sink, the other gently rubbing my temple. I needed rest.

I slowly shuffled back into my bedroom, my hand still at my temple. My ears picked up some ruffling outside my door and I froze. _That was one of two possible people. One could be Harry, for some god-awful reason, like irritating me further. The other could be Severus, intent on finishing me off. But then again, Severus would not be so foolish as to leave his feet unsilenced…_I sighed and shuffled over to the door. Upon opening it, Harry fell backward onto my feet, since my door opened inward and he was leaning against it. He looked up at me, those bright eyes like lights in the darkness. He immediately stood, stumbling a bit, and turned towards me.

"Hi."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" I asked impatiently.

"Well, I-I uh…" he scratched his head, "…forgot to tell you about Snape. He came and told me why he did everything, so I thought you might want to know."

"Alright then." I nodded once. _So he did have a reason. I expect it to reek of vengeance for that woman I never saved…_

"Well, see, he told me he needed you to change how you did things. He said I needed to help you get used to having these normal feelings, and to change the way your cause was carried out. He didn't say much more than that, but he did give me my wand back." He pulled his wand from his pocket.

_How on Earth did Severus get that? I had not given it to him to keep. I locked it away in a safe with wards all over it to prevent anyone but myself from being able to open it._ "Did he tell you how he retrieved that?"

"No. I figured you gave it to him. I definitely wouldn't have thought he would have had it."

"I would never. Severus may have been one of my most loyal followers, but I could never chance him having hold of a wand that I could not destroy."

Harry looked to his wand. He extended his hand as for me to take it, and I almost did, yet something awful nagged in my mind. _Trust… trust…_ I growled inwardly. "Considering you are still here, I suppose you could handle having it and not try to escape, or acquire some type of help."

He nodded, looking to the floor, doing a poor job of hiding his smile. I was quickly growing tired of this foolishness. _What was that? My conscience? I will wrap my hands around Severus's throat and-_

"Oh, and Tom?"

"What?" I growled. Harry didn't seem to notice.

"You know of my friends at Hogwarts right? Well, they sent me an owl telling me they were worried, and that the Order was searching for me. I replied telling them to cancel the search and to not worry. Just wanted you to know."

I nodded. It didn't seem that this information was useful in anyway, but just the thought that Harry would inform me made me not regret trusting him. He obviously would be a good ally. "I see...I'm glad you handled that. Now, I would like to rest. Pleasant dreams, Harry."

"Good night, Tom."

I closed the door. I really did wish he would have pleasant dreams, for I can't stand when he keeps me up at night with his nightmares.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The whole world was in chaos. Wizards and witches were running around, shooting green and red bolts of light at each other. I was running through the middle of the massive battle, dodging and throwing _**Finite**_s. I didn't stop running until I saw Hermione and Ron, on opposite sides of the battle, ready to duel one another. Hermione had reddened eyes and her brown hair was wild. Ron looked pale and gaunt; he seemed about ready to pass out. Hermione raised her wand at Ron. I tried to stop it, but I was too far. A green bolt of light shot across the field, and my vision went white for a brief moment. When I could once again see, Hermione was no longer the one holding the wand that had killed Ron. I stood there instead, a wicked grin on my face. I walked over to where Ron lay and looked down at him, before kicking his head to assure he was dead. I laughed evilly. Then Hermione ran up to Ron, tears in her eyes, and pulled her wand out on me. Before words could pass through her lips another bolt of green light came from my wand and hit her. She collapsed next to Ron. It was terrible, and I tried to stop myself, but I had no control. I continued to kill everyone in sight, on both sides of the battle, until one person was left. A little boy with red eyes stood in front of me. He was obviously alone, and not only in this field of corpses. His tattered clothes hung from his small body, blood dripped from his nose and mouth, and he seemed to have bruises down his arm and on his legs. I raised my wand to him, I couldn't help it. '_**Avada Kedavra**_.' I whispered. Just before my bolt hit him, my world went black.

I was shaking really bad, the sheets around me were soaked in sweat and tears. A pair of hands held my shoulders in the darkness and I heard whimpering sounds escape from my mouth. I tried to breathe, but my lungs were on fire and my throat was a desert. I grabbed the arms and dung my nails into them trying to breathe. Air would not come to me, and I could feel my head become dizzy. Distant, fuzzy words made their way to my ears. 'Harry...Harry...' they purred. 'Harry... come back...' I inhaled a quick sharp breath that sent pain stabbing through my chest, but my world became clear. Tom was sitting beside me, his arms wrapped around my shoulders, whispering words to me.

'Harry. Come back. I need you to stay with me. To help me. You can't keep falling, Harry...'

'I wasn't falling.' My shaky voice startled Tom, and he tensed. 'I was killing everyone, even my friends. There was a battle going on, and I killed everyone on both sides. Tom, it was awful.' Fresh tears ran down my cheeks, and my already shaky and painful breathing only grew more so. _I killed them. It was all my fault…_ my guilt told me. The words swirled around my mind repeating themselves over and over. _I killed them… killed them…my fault…all my fault…_ I couldn't take it. The words ate away at my sanity.

'Harry, calm down. Breathe.'

I tried, but every inhale of air sent pain everywhere, and my lungs would immediately send it back out. I was shaking more, even though I was sweating. The nightmare replayed in my mind over and over again, and the thoughts became engraved on my skull. _I killed them… '__**Avada Kedavra**__'… all my fault… "Ron! Harry, how could you?"… my fault…all my fault._

I pulled myself into Tom and buried my head in his shoulder trying to get away from the thoughts, but they would not leave. 'They won't go away. I can't wake up.' _I killed them. I killed them all. It's my fault. I killed them. '__**AVADA KEDAVRA!**__' I killed every single one of them. It's all my fault. 'Ron! Harry…how could you? How could you do this? We loved you…' I killed them._

Suddenly, I felt a push in my mind and an unknown presence enter. I felt a soothing come from it, and the awful thoughts fled, and the horrible images left. Then I was in my room again. I could breathe, and I stopped sobbing. I pulled my head from Tom's shoulder and sat upright, wiping my face. My heart rate slowed, thankfully. _Any faster and it would leapt right out of my chest…_

'_That would have been a sight to see,' a dark voice softly joked in my head, 'A heart walking around without i's owner.'_

I looked to Tom, eyes wide. _You're in my mind!_

'_Yess. Indeed I am. Only to stop your horrible nightmare and calm you down. Did you realize you were screaming? I didn't need to use any mind magic to figure out you were not sleeping well.'_

'_Oh. Sorry.'_

Tom just handed me some calming draught. I looked at it, unsure. I really didn't want to go back to sleep. I loved to sleep, but I hated dreams. I didn't care to let myself fall into some odd wonderland of strange things, I just wanted some rest. I shook my head and handed it back to him. _I don't think I should go back to sleep._

'_Why not? You've taken this draught before, as have I. It works very well. No more nightmares.'_

_Yes, I know. But it makes me have odd dreams. I don't want to dream, I just want to sleep._ I was exhausted, and I'm sure Tom could tell, but I would stay awake all night if I had to. _I've been here four days and I've only gotten half a good-night's sleep. I give up. Screw sleep._

I couldn't see Tom's face, but I could definitely sense his confusion. _'Harry, you must sleep. It isn't easy to avoid something so vital.' _

I sighed. _I know._ I turned and put my face into the silk pillow. It was damp, but nonetheless felt good on my face. _I hate dreams though. I'd rather just stay up._

Tom sighed, sounding irritated. _'It doesn't work that way, Harry'_

_I don't care. I'm not having any more dreams. _

_'Stubborn brat...'_

_I heard that!_

_'I intended you to. Now stop being an immature child and go to sleep.'_

_You don't understand. _I sat up and looked at him, my eyes becoming wet once more._ I can't _stand_ nightmares. I fucking hate them more than I hate most other things. It's number 7 on my list..._I ended, grumbling.

_'What list?'_

_Oh...I didn't mean to mention that. Well, I kind of...made a list of things I hate. I only have 7 things on there, and having nightmares and dreams is one of them._

'_A list of things you hate…and there are only seven things?'_ He sounded surprised. Thoughts ran through his mind so fast, I didn't have time to understand them. _Alright then, Harry. If you wish not to sleep, we can discuss this… list you have.'_

_I…uh…ok. How should I…_

'_Just go over it in your mind like you would normally.'_

I nodded

_Things I hate in this world:_

_This bloody fucking war_

_Being the Boy-Who-Lived/Savior/Chosen One_

_Uncle Vernon_

_Being haunted by dead people I care about_

_Being alone_

_Having dreams/nightmares_

I waited for Tom to reply, but once again, thoughts raced around his head, and I couldn't keep up.

_Tom?_

'_You don't like being the Boy-Who-Lived? I always figured you enjoyed being famous.'_

_No. I hate it. I never wanted to be famous, and I can't even remember when that happened. I was a baby! And people think that just because I didn't die that they can run my life, or that I can fix everything. But they don't know how much it sucks. I lived, yes, but no one else around me does._

'_Mhm…which leads me to my next question. What do you mean by being haunted by your loved ones?'_

I sighed. These were deep scars that still pained me. But as much as I didn't want to talk about them, I didn't want to sleep more. _Well, sometimes I feel terrible, and I go somewhere to be alone, then I see people around me, like Sirius, or Dumbledore, even my parents. They always tell me that they need me, and that I need to save them._ Tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks like they always did. _But how can I do that? They're dead! I hate it. It's all a cruel joke._

'_I…' _Tom paused a moment. He obviously was having some trouble with words (something I never would thought possible). _'…Who is Uncle Vernon?'_

_He is my muggle uncle that I lived with. _

'_And why do you hate him? I understand you had a hard life there, of course, but I fail to see why such a thing would make you hate him.'_

That was a thought I tried to keep away from. It brought back every feeling I had felt that dreadful day it happened, and all the days it continued. _I…he…_ I decided words would not, could not, describe it, but I feared opening up that memory. _Brace yourself._

I was in my dark cupboard, thinking of new ways to avoid Dudley at school. My Aunt Petunia and Dudley were staying at my grandmother's house, and since my uncle had some really important work to attend to at his job, he couldn't take the time off to go. It was just us in that awful house. I tried for the longest time to sleep, but I couldn't seem to get there. There was a loud banging noise upstairs. It rang through the hallway and my door shook. I sat up in my bed. _What was that?_ Then loud thumps came down the stairs, and down the hallway, but they stopped in front of my door, and hands knocked on it.

"Harry, open up."

I unlocked my door. "What is it?"

"I need you to attend to something. Upstairs. Now."

Something about him was off. His normally flat hair was ruffled, and his fat pink face was red. There was a hungry look in his no-nonsense eyes. I stood and exited my cupboard. _What could Uncle need me to do at this hour?_ He prodded my back with his chubby finger, urging me to move and go upstairs. I did so, stopping at the top of the stairs. There was nothing out of place, as it seemed. A hand grabbed the collar of my night shirt and dragged me into his bedroom. When the hand released, I practically fell onto the floor.

"Now Harry…if I hear one word escape your mouth, one sound, you will find yourself receiving the worst beating of your life."

His chubby fingers reached for my shirt and pulled it off. Before I knew what was going on, I was naked on his bed, frantically looking around the room. He unbuckled his trousers and slid them down. _Oh god._ I tried to run away, to get back to my cupboard and never come out, but his hand wrapped around my thin arm painfully tight and threw me back, leaving a bright red mark on my arm. He slapped my face hard, and tears came to my eyes as I cradled my cheek. I wanted to scream, to call for help, but I dare not utter a sound. He moved my legs around, but as much as I resisted, he was greatly stronger than my eight-year-old self. One hand went to my hips, cold and foreign. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to get away from it.

Suddenly something rather large shoved itself into my ass, ripping skin, and I wanted to scream and sob, it hurt so badly. His other hand held my thigh in place, and he pulled out slightly before shoving himself all the way in forcefully. My ass ripped some more, and I could feel the blood escape. Tears fell down my cheeks in a river. He moved out again and back in with more speed and force. I almost let out a whimper, but I would not allow myself that. I burned with pain. His dick prodded me, picking up speed, which only hurt more. I had never been through such pain, not even when I was beaten, but still, silent tears came from my eyes and screams stuck in my throat, choking me. After what seemed eternity, a small, whispered moan came from him and a thick substance coated my insides. He removed himself from me, picked me up by my arm, and dragged me back to my cupboard, throwing my clothes in before shutting the door. I continued to sob, redressing myself. I could still feel the places where his cruel hands had been, and my ass throbbed. _I hate you_, I thought. _I hate you…_

I came back to reality. I had my knees to my chest and my chin on top, arms wrapped around my legs. My eyes dropped tears onto my sleeping clothes. Air was trapped in my throat. I could still feel ghostly hands of where he had touched me, and where my ass had burned. _I hate him. I hate him so much. _

'_Harry…' _Tom comforted me mentally, '_I…I'm sorry that…you had such an experience.'_ He placed a hand on my shoulder. I tensed and pulled away, forgetting where I was, still lost in the past, and he quickly drew it back.

I shook my head trying to clear the memories, but they plagued my mind. _I hate him._ I repeated.

'_I understand, Harry. Muggles can be cruel.'_

_How do I make the past go away?_

'_The past never leaves. It is only forgotten.'_ A few quick memories flashed through Tom's mind, but I barely noticed.

_But how do I forget?_

'_There are many ways. Follow me.'_ Tom rose and walked to the door, so I followed.

We walked to the arch, down the stairs, and into another hallway I didn't recognize that branched off the spacious room. We finally arrived at a door. Tom's wand appeared in his hand and he performed a complicated series of wand movements. He put his wand away and opened the door. The room seemed to be empty. Tom extended his arm and suddenly, a table appeared with a collection of bottles on it.

"This is a private room. Here, I keep the things I wish to forget. No one knows of this room." He quickly summoned another, identical table next to the other. "You may also use it, if you wish."

I looked at the bottles on Tom's table. They had no labels on it (I imagine writing labels would have defeated the purpose; "This is when I first killed someone", "This is when I was thrown into an orphanage"), but the glass danced with colors and little figures, almost like a little child's finger-paintings.

"How do I… you know…"

Tom put his wand to his head to show me. "_**Erado**_ (**1**) _**Harry's nightmare of Sirius**_". A small light as thin as a hair came from Tom's head, much like a pensieve. He twirled it with his wand, and a bottle much like the others appeared and floated onto the table. It was a navy color inside, with a little black splotch over a light blue one.

He turned to me. "Start with something easily forgotten, then go to the harder ones."

I nodded. _**Accio wand**_. I felt my magic reach out and grab my wand; I pulled it back quickly, and my wand hit my hand. I put it to my head like Tom had shown me and picked a small memory. "_**Erado Doug the unicorn**_". I saw the hair-thin light appear, and twirled it, with some complications. It didn't want to twist at all, but I somehow managed to get it around my wand, and it turned into a bright white bottle, with a hint of green, and floated onto my once empty table.

"Doug the unicorn?" Tom asked skeptically.

"What?" That was the most random thing I had ever heard him say.

Tom shook his head. "Anyway. Be very cautious when around these bottles. If they fall, they will break and release the memory back to its owner. That also is a way to get back a memory you erased that you might want back, but I fail to see that there would be anything you would want to remember after making it a bottle…"

"Ok." I thought of a way to test exactly how that worked. "_**Erado Buckbeak**_". I pulled the thin light from my head once again and twirled it, which was much easier this time. Its bottle became blue with a spikey white splotch. Tom gave me another look to show how odd the thought it was, and a surprised face when I pushed the bottle off the table and it crashed on the floor. I instantly saw Buckbeat; when I first met him, when he attacked Malfoy, when I gave him to Sirius. All the memories filed back into their places like pieces to a puzzle that had empty spaces.

"Well now that you decided to remember, what is a buckbeak?"

"He was a hippogriff that Hagrid had during my third year. I saved him from being executed, gave him to Sirius, and received him back after Sirius died. He's living with Hagrid again. I just wanted to test how remembering would feel."

"And what is it like?"

"It's like I had blank spots in my memory that I had over looked, and suddenly they were filled."

He nodded. I thought about other things I really wanted to forget. Of course, the first thing that popped in my mind, I decided to try. "_**Erado Being Raped**_". I pulled the hair from my head and twirled it. Its bottle was pink and green and red splotches all intertwined together. I felt better. A great burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and it was great. I smiled. _This is a nice feeling._

"Yes, I am quite aware. It is a large relief, is it not?"

"Yea." I yawned, but I didn't want to go to sleep yet. I looked at the two bottles on my table. Two pieces of my puzzle that I would be okay not having.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I questioned Tom.

"Are you not going to pick other things, like losing friends, or loved ones? I know you have been through that many times."

_But why would I want to forget losing them? I wouldn't want to still think they were alive._

"Then forget they ever existed. It's as simple as that." Tom stated obviously.

_But I couldn't do that. Yea, I might not have to remember they died, but I also wouldn't remember all the good times I had with them, and I would be losing all the love I felt for them and that they felt for me. I couldn't do that._

"I see then… well, if you have nothing else right now, you can always come here later and do so. I altered the wards. You do not need any spells to enter, just open the door."

I smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Tom. Really."

Tom looked at me, slightly irritated, and slightly happy. "Yes, well. It really is getting late; Or shall I say, it's really early. I need my rest. Do what you wish." He waved it off and walked out of the room, his mind pulling out of mine. I had the rest of the night to do what I wished. _Tom actually is letting me do what I want, no strings attached._ I chuckled mischievously. _Time to snoop around._

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><p><strong>:o Uh-oh! Harry's going to get into some trouble. Hahaha. You'll find out what he finds next chapter. Which I already have a good start to. :) Yay, snooping around while Tom is asleep! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. :D <strong>

**I really love all of the reviews I have been getting! As well as being favorited! You guys are awesome. I tell you that so much, you must be sick of reading it. Hehehe. Don't stop reviewing! M'kay thanks.**

**1. It means "delete" in Latin. :)**


	12. Searching to Find

**Chapter 12: Searching to Find**

**Hey guys! I'm so ready to see the new Harry Potter movie! But sadly I can't see the midnight showing. *dies a little inside* :( Sad, I know. But anyway, here is the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Thanks. :)**

**YaoiCookies87: I'm glad you like the chapter. Hehehe, nahhh...lol. :D**

**Sneaky Lunitic Spy: Thanks for your comment! Well I have to leave some suspense in there, or else everyone wouldn't feel compeled to get the next chapter. ;) lol**

**Note: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. That was all J.K. Rowling and her magnificent brain. I only own this story.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks!**

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><p><strong>Normally I would have a song here, but I couldn't find one that worked. Sorry.<strong>

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Harry started snooping in the room he was currently in. He looked through all the bottles on Tom's table, trying, and failing, to understand the vague pictures on the bottles. They were mostly just splotches of color, with a few shapes and figures. He sighed. _Onto the next room. Where shall that be exactly?_ He stepped out of the room. He couldn't remember how he had gotten to this hallway, since he had just followed Tom, but he didn't want to start here for fear of this hallway being near to the one containing Tom's room. Harry found the arch that led to the spacious room and went through it. He walked to the long table where his chair was. He looked back to where he had come from, only to find that there were several hallways in that direction, and he had no clue which one led to the room. _Bloody hell_.

Harry didn't know what to do, so he went back up the stairs to the familiar hallway that held his room. He had never been in any of the other rooms, and so he was curious as to what they held. He went to the first door, which was locked. "_**Alohomora**_". The door swung open and Harry stepped inside the dark room. "_**Lumos**_". The tip of his wand lit up and revealed another hallway, that was somewhat damp and smelling of mold. He took one step inside before his guilt washed over him. _Tom trusted me not to snoop, and here I am. Snooping. He's never going to trust me again if I'm caught._ Harry thought some more about this before smiling once more. If_ I get caught._ "_**Accio Cloak of Invisibility**_". A few short moments later, the cloak was in Harry's hand. He put it on, and silenced his feet as well; just to be extra sure he wouldn't get caught. He still felt guilty, but he really wanted to know what Tom hid in his house. Harry walked down the hallway. There were no doors or arches. It was simply a dead end. Harry frowned. _Probably needs a spell to reveal something. Damn._ He walked out of the hall, locking the door after him.

Still under the cloak, he went to the next room. After a quick, "_**Alohomora**_", Harry walked into a large library. Massive bookcases lined the walls, some grey, some black, all filled with books. _Hermione would love this room. She could read for the rest of her life._ In the middle was a large dark mahogany table with a rather comfortable grey chair. The table had nothing on it, so Harry assumed the room hadn't been used much. A little disappointed that he had found nothing, Harry left the room, once again locking it afterwards.

He went to the next door. "_**Alohomora**_". It opened into a lab. There was a cauldron on a massive desk, a wall full of shelves that held various potions and several potions books, and another wall of shelves that held ingredients. Harry went over to inspect the potions. There was anything one would ever need, from antidotes, to skele-grow, to wolfsbane. It was not anything interesting to Harry, and so he left, locking the door after him once more.

Harry walked to the next door, spoke his unlocking spell, and stepped into what looked like a sitting room. It was, of course, decorated in black, green, and silver colors. A green couch was in front of a fireplace filled with bits of black glass instead of wood, and a window was to its left looking out onto green hills and trees with orange, yellow, brown, and red leaves in the moonlight. _But it's still Summer._ Harry figured it was some sort of spell. The room was decorated with paintings of nature, many looking like the hills and trees in the window, but during different seasons. The leaves swayed in the breeze of spring, or snow falling onto the now white hills. Wildflowers and bees popped up on the hills, or clouds storming and pouring rain onto the grasses. All of them were very nice, and Harry rather liked the room, but it held nothing of what he was looking for. He did make a mental note to return though. He closed the door and locked it, moving onto the next one.

After unlocking it, the door opened onto a mostly empty room. The only thing in the room was what looked like a large magnifying glass. Harry walked over to the glass, expecting to see some vague reflection, but he didn't. _Oh, right. I'm wearing my cloak_. He removed his cloak and looked into the glass once more, only to see that it was actually crystal and his reflection was distorted as it would have been in a broken mirror. He thought it odd to have such a thing. _Unless it does something..._ Harry thought of what it could possibly do, but figured it would probably take a spell to work. _Damn_. He looked to the door.

He thought of what Tom would think if he caught him, and that thought led to the thought of Tom not trusting him, which he then thought Tom would have been sure to keep an eye on him if he didn't trust him, and then Tom might have been following him around, but Tom was asleep, but Harry didn't know that for sure. Harry subconsciously wished to make sure Tom was asleep. He sighed and looked to the crystal circle and saw what he wished. There was Tom, asleep in his large bed in his room. Harry's eyes grew and he realized what the crystal had done, but he wanted to test it further. _Show me Ron_. And Ron appeared in the crystal. He was sitting up in bed looking out the window Harry would always look out after he would wake up from a nightmare. Their room hadn't changed a bit, still half messy from Ron's clothes and stuff, but quite neat otherwise. Ron was more pale than usual. Maybe it was the moonlight shining on him, or the crystal altering the scene, but Harry had a sick feeling in his stomach that it was his fault. He hated seeing Ron mistreat himself, because it was so unlike him to not eat or sleep. Harry didn't want to see Ron like that anymore, and so the scene faded and his distorted reflection returned. Guilt returned to Harry's mind and started to nibble on his thoughts before Harry shook it off, put his cloak back on, and moved onto the next room (after relocking the door of course).

Although Harry felt he didn't much care anymore for searching the rooms, he still unlocked the next door. Behind it was a room with different decorating. It had a hardwood floor instead of carpet for one, a dark oak color, and a bar of matching color on the far wall opposite where he stood; shelves of various alcohols and a cabinet of glasses behind it. Curious, he walked over and sat on one of the white stools by the bar. Immediately, a glass of butterbeer made its way to Harry from the other end of the bar. Harry looked to where it came from, yet saw nothing there. He picked it up and drank it, enjoying the way it tasted. He couldn't remember the last time he had a butterbeer, it had been ages ago it seemed, and so he decided to stay and drink it.

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><p>When he was almost finished, the lights above him began to grow brighter. <em>It must almost be morning.<em> Harry sighed and quickly finished his drink before grabbing his things and exiting the room, and relocking it. He still had two more rooms to uncover, but he didn't feel up to snooping around any longer. He went down the hallway to his room and unlocked the door. After carefully hiding his cloak underneath the cushion of the grey chair, and putting his wand on the tiny bedside table, Harry decided to shower. He turned on the scorching hot water and instantly felt all his troubles melt away from his skin. He could feel the life that had been sucked away sometime last night return to him once more. He considered masturbating, but thought better of it. _That would only make me tired._ He finished up and got out, then got dressed, transfiguring his clothes once more. He loved the effect that his shirt could make on his eyes, and so he continued changing shirt colors until he found a color that reminded him of the hills outside the window in that sitting room with the paintings he found earlier. His shirt was an earthy brown, and his eyes were the color of swaying grasses; he loved it. He did not change his jeans at all, for he didn't care to.

He walked back into his room, unsure of what to do next. _It's early morning, and Tom will probably sleep longer since I kept him up all night_. Sighing with boredom, Harry sat on the edge of his bed thinking of things to do. He decided to play around with some wandless magic. Hermione had once shown him how to make a butterfly, and have it flutter about the room where he pleased. He couldn't do it then of course, but maybe, if he put his head into it, he could do it now. He extended his arm, feeling the magic in his blood move to his hand, and come out his fingertips in little wisps. He focused on the wisps turning into a butterfly, but they did not do so. The more he concentrated on making the butterfly, the more the wisps seemed to disappear. He let go of his focus, and the wisps died. Harry sighed. I'm not getting anywhere. Then a clever thought came into his head. He brought his arm back in and closed his fingers into a fist. He moved his magic through his fingertips once more, and the wisps became trapped in his palm, forcibly gathering together. He felt the wisps build, and when he thought it decent he opened his hand. In his palm was a glob of light, with little wisps hanging off here and there. He prodded the glob, and it fell apart.

He tried again, this time having more wisps build up. When he opened his hand this time, the glob of light was more of a circle. _It's a start._ With his other hand, he poked the circle of light. It moved slightly, and left an indent of where his finger had been. He poked it on the other side, and once again, it left an indent. He smiled at what he figured was the wizard's version of clay. He instantly began to mold it, picturing in his mind a bird instead of a butterfly. After he had a basic structure (that looked more like an elephant with its trunk cut off than a bird), he tried making it move, starting with its head. The magical clay twitched a bit, but never really moved. Harry huffed. _Maybe it doesn't look enough like a bird._ He smashed it in his hand; it really was like clay. He thought of an easier animal to make.

Many animals crossed his mind, like worms and bats and spiders, but her really didn't feel happy making those. He really didn't think a butterfly would be much easier than a bird. Anything with wings, really, was out of the question, for he was terrible at making them. Harry decided to just let his hand mold whatever it wanted to. His hand made a circle with an almost cave looking part hanging over it. Harry didn't know what it was, but he tried to move it. Suddenly two eyes opened on top of the cave structure and the circle uncoiled, revealing its reptilian skin. It was a cobra in his hand. Startled, Harry jumped back a bit, and in response, the snake's head flew back and it hissed, its hood widening. He noticed it had copied him, and tried to do something else and see what it did. Harry turned his head sideways and smiled at the snake. The cobra made of light turned its head sideways and stuck out its forked tongue, assumingly happy.

Harry put his hand down to next to him on the bed and thought for it to slither off, so it did so, but as soon as it came off his hand, it fell apart into wisps once more.

As the wisps disappeared, Harry sighed again. He got off the bed and walked over to the bookcase. _I guess I could do some reading. Anything interesting?_ He looked at all of the books, but none of them had a title on their spine. He picked one and randomly pulled it out. It had a blue cover, but no title on it anywhere, so he opened the book. The first few pages were blank, but after flipping a few of the pages, a title came up. _Magical Paintings._ The next page was a table of contents. Harry skimmed it, reading various things such as _Portraits_, _Why Still Life Won't Do_, and _Moving from Frame to Frame_. He flipped to a chapter called _Magical Photographs vs. Portraits_. It was rather dull reading and Harry quickly closed the book. When he went to put it back on the bookcase, he could not find where it had been. He shrugged and gave up looking after searching a few seconds, and just placed the book on the small space in front of some other books on a shelf. He let go and the book fell off the bookcase, yet before it hit the ground, it froze and then floated back up to a spot a bit higher than Harry had been looking, and squeezed in between two other books. _I swear, this house knows more magic than I do._

Harry had nothing else to do, so he went back out into the hallway. To his relief, the lights were bright now, showing that a decent time had finally come. He down the hallway to the arch and looked out to the spacious room. Tom was in his chair, as always, eating breakfast by himself. Harry walked down the stairs and over to his chair. He debated whether he was hungry of not, and decided in the end it would be best if he ate something. As he sat down he noticed Tom had barely started on his breakfast.

"Good morning, Tom."

"A very nice morning indeed," Tom replied. Tom had slept rather well last night and was in a rather good mood for once. "How was your night after I left? I assume you didn't sleep, so what did you do to occupy yourself?"

Sadie popped in, a tray of breakfast in her hands for Harry. She placed it in front of him, he thanked her, and she smiled before popping away.

Harry felt he should be honest. "Tom," he started, unsure of how Tom would react. "I'm not going to lie to you. I went snooping around in the hallway where my room is."

Tom took a bite of his food showing no emotion within his face like what Harry had said meant nothing of importance, but he was actually a bit frightened of what Harry might have found, especially in the first room.

"Oh really?" he said. He looked straight into Harry's soft green eyes. "And what did you find on your little...adventure?"

Harry was a little surprised he had not been yelled at yet, or punished in somehow, but it was almost more scary that way, waiting for the consequences to come. "Well, I found lots of things, but nothing too interesting."

Tom raised an eyebrow. He was sure Harry would have somehow found something he had never intended to see, but as it seemed, Harry had not. "What rooms did you go into? All of them?"

"No. I didn't go into the last two rooms closest to my door. I found the library, potions lab, some sort of sitting room with many nice paintings, a looking glass of some sort, a deadened hallway, and a bar. The bar has very nice butterbeer by the way." Harry took a bite of his breakfast, smiling at how delicious it was.

Tom nodded. _A deadened hallway? No doubt he wasn't trying too hard to find something then_. "Very well then."

Harry looked down at his plate, thinking for sure Tom would scold him, or curse him, but Tom said nothing else. He took another bite, trying to distract himself from the anxious feelings he was having, yet even delicious food could not soothe it. Harry put down his fork.

"Are you mad?"

Tom did not let his emotions show, although he was extremely relieved Harry had not found anything, yet a bit irritated that Harry had been snooping when he had specifically told him not to.

"I suppose I can see no harm in what you have done, but I do not want you snooping around anymore. Especially in other hallways."

Harry nodded. He felt disappointed in himself after what Tom had said. He felt guilty, because he knew Tom had told him not to, but he had done so anyway. "Am I not allowed back into the rooms I went into?"

Tom had to withhold a small smile from showing itself. Harry was being such a child, it was rather laughable. He had that guilty look, like he had been caught stealing from the cookie jar. He could tell Harry had no bad intentions. Tom almost wanted to yell at Harry that he was going to be punished for what he did, just to see Harry get the sad and guilty puppy-dog eyes young children often have when being punished, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. He merely rolled his eyes.

"Harry. If you have already seen the rooms, what would be the point in keeping you out? You may go into the rooms if you wish, with the exception of the first room. I trust you can respect that, especially since you have found nothing of worth in there."

Many things jumped out at Harry from what Tom had said. The first was that he had said he trusted Harry. Harry smiled inwardly. _Good_, he thought. The second was that, if nothing was in the first room but a deadened hallway, why he wasn't allowed to go inside it? It could have been just a test for Harry, but that still wouldn't explain why Tom has a hallway with a deadend. The third was that Tom had almost contradicted himself, saying that there was no point in keeping him out of the rooms, but then keeping him out a room. Harry did not know what to make of the last two, and so wished to find out.

"If I may ask, why am I not allowed in the first room? If it was just an empty hallway, why can I not go into it?"

Tom quickly found how he detested Harry's curiosity. If he told Harry what was in that room, he would go into it. If he did not tell Harry what was in that room, he would go into it. This was merely a trap that Harry had unconsciously set up for him, and he needed to find a clever way out of it.

"Harry. Not everything is as it seems. There is some knowledge that is better left unknown, so that the seeker of it may not be harmed by its doing. It is a room that I have told you not to go into, and you must trust..." Tom held onto the one word that would guilt Harry into never stepping foot in that room, "...that it is best you do not seek it out."

Harry felt awful once more. He felt Tom was losing trust in him. Harry nodded. He would not go into the room, no matter how much he questioned it. He could not risk the fragile bond of trust that had begun to form around them. _Not yet_. He would find out sometime, he would make sure of that, but currently, it would be best to behave. Harry no longer felt hungry, even for the delectable plate of food in front of him. He pushed the plate away from him. "Well, what shall we do today?"

Tom had finished his breakfast and carefully placed his fork down on his plate. "Ah yes. We have another meeting that shall happen later. We shall be in a different meeting room this time, a more private one, since I only have my inner circle coming. There will be plans to discuss, as well as my current...predicament. You will need to wear the black cloak once more and shield your face. Even if most of the Death Eaters attending know it is you, I cannot have the rest of them knowing, especially Bellatrix. My, how she wishes to kill you so..."

_Well that's always comforting_. "Alright, then. I guess I'll be in my room, or possibly that sitting room, until it's time." Harry stood from the table and left off to the sitting room in the hallway by his room.

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><p><strong>Hehehe. Sorry this took so long. I would have updated yesterday, but I was watching movies all night. Then I had to go somewhere today, so I am updating this now. The next chapter should soon follow. Please review! M'kay thanks. :D<strong>


	13. Revealed and Shown

**Chapter 13: Revealed and Shown**

**Here it is! I got in in supa fast! I really don't have any time to post anything like the warnings and stuff, but I'm sure you all know them. Enjoy!**

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><p>Severus Snape's POV:<p>

As I figured, my life in the muggle world was bleak. Of course, my life had always been dull, but never so dull as it was now, with my muggle job, no magic, and no one for company. I had not received any word from Potter. I figured he was busy convincing My Lord to join the Light, or maybe helping him deal with his painful memories.

I had just returned from my muggle job as a librarian at the public library. I did rather enjoy being around books all day, but there was something missing within them, and I sometimes found myself about to toss a book to the floor, expecting it to put itself back. There was a magic to books that made them unique, and while these muggle books may have had some, it was meant figuratively, and not literally. I longed for the thick pages of a potions book, or a book on magical creatures, or even a history of magic book. There was something about the feel of it when opened, like opening up a portal into a different dimension, that made wizard books differ from muggle ones.

I sighed and sat down upon my makeshift couch, that had actually once been a piece of wood left in the fireplace when I had moved in, and so it was an earthy brown color, and very uncomfortable I'm certain spots. I was never the best at transfiguration, but it would have to do. I was rather unsatisfied about my day at work. The next book in a popular series had just came out, and so I had got nothing done but checking out every copy and making a waiting list for when they were returned. There were at least ten people on each waiting list for the six books we owned. I went over to my bed that I had transfigured from a feather of my owl, so it at least was soft. I couldn't help but to just fall onto it, for I was exhausted. My face hit the soft feather pillow, and immediately found sleep.

I awoke some time later. Looking to my muggle clock, it was 3 in the morning. I sighed and got up to get some water. I pulled out a cup from my cabinet, then a scratching came from my tiny window next to the couch. I approached it with caution and opened the window slightly. An owl placed its beak in the small opening. It was a normal owl's beak, nothing like the hybrid owls My Lord keeps. I let the owl inside and it flew to the arm of the couch. I removed the note from its leg, reading it to myself.

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_We need you to explain what has happened with Harry. Luna was captured by Death Eaters, as you may have heard, and Harry traded the Dark Lord, himself in Luna's place. But instead of saying he needed help, he said you were the one who needed help, and said you would explain what is going on, and why Harry can't leave. We have been trying to find you, but haven't the slightest clue where you are. If you are hiding, we will respect that, but we really would like to know about Harry. _

_Sincerely,  
>Hermione Granger<em>

Of course, Potter would leave me to explain everything to them. I summoned some parchment and a quill with ink. It was safe to reply. I had so many wards up around this place; the owl would never be able to be traced back here.

_To Whom It May Concern,_

_When Harry traded himself for Luna, it was a trap set by the Dark Lord to force Harry to become his ally. Of course, Harry did not need any forcing. I knew that Harry and the Dark Lord had a mental connection, as did both of them, as well as have a similar past. I feared that the Dark Lord's complete denial of his past would leave Harry hurt. I found that it would be best if forced to remember it, and so I gave the Dark Lord a potion to rebind his soul into one piece once more, minus Harry's piece of course. Currently, Harry is helping the Dark Lord with that, and I am in hiding to avoid his wrath. Harry is fine, as he said, and the Dark Lord has no intention of harming him in any way. He must do this, for it may be the only way to bring Voldemort into the Light. And please, make sure this news does not make it to the Daily Prophet._

_Sincerely,  
>Severus Snape<br>Headmaster at Hogwarts  
>P.S. I may need to resign as headmaster, for I am more than sure I would be in danger even there. <em>

I tied the note to the owl, and sent it on its way. I went back to my bed and fell asleep once more, dreading the day to come.

I woke up to my muggle alarm going off. The irritating beep left me in a foul mood. I got ready and left to my job. As soon as I arrived at the library, I noticed almost all of our copies of the newest book of that one popular series had been returned in our return box outside the door overnight, even if they had just been checked out late yesterday. I called the numbers of those on the waiting list to get their books to check out. They, of course, arrived within minutes and left in a crazy, chaotic mess. _I will never understand muggles._

I had just reorganized the books on the kids section, which would probably be a mess again in a few minutes, when a yell rang out from the back room. I went to see what was going on. One of my co-workers was ducked under a table as an owl flew overhead, _the one I had seen last night no doubt_. I helped up my co-worker and told her I would take care of the owl. She left the room, and I held out my arm. The owl landed on it, another message tied to its foot. I pulled it off and read it.

_Dear Severus,_

_Thank you for that explanation. It was very helpful to us. We will not interfere with Harry and the Dark Lord, but I and the rest of the Order believe it would be best if you would not resign as Headmaster. We will assure you will be more than safe at Hogwarts. Please consider._

_Sincerely,  
>Remus Lupin<em>

I sighed. Should I leave? I do not think it would be wise, but I could not just leave my post as headmaster, no matter what threats I face. I summoned quill and ink and wrote my reply on the back.

_To Whom It May Concern,_

_I suppose I shall return as headmaster. The threat of my death, however, will be greater, of course, and therefore a backup headmaster should be decided. I will go to Hogwarts as soon as I am able to get away from here. _

_Sincerely,  
>Severus Snape<br>Headmaster at Hogwarts_

I tied it to the owl, let it go, and went to go quit my job.

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The meeting was in 5 minutes, and I couldn't remember my fake name. I was freaking out. Tom was busy preparing the room, with silencing charms and protective wards. I desperately wanted to ask him what it was, but not wanting to disrupt him, I just stood awkwardly by the table, wracking my brain for an answer. _It was something with an A...I think. Maybe it was a P. I really can't remember._ I lifted my hand and hit my forehead with my palm. I was hopeless.

Tom noticed my frustration. _'What is wrong, Harry? I've already assured you this meeting will be much easier than the last.'_ he said in my mind.

_I can't remember my fake name. What is it?_

'_A__ureum __S__erpens__.'_

_Oh. Ok._ I relaxed a bit. I knew what to answer to now. _How did you come up with that anyway?_

'_What do you mean?'_

_Well, did you see that name somewhere or something? Or did you think of it?_

'_I came up with it on my own. It means "golden snake" in Latin.'_

_Oh. _I smiled._ Cool. I bet it sounds better in Parseltongue, though._

_/Aureum Sserpensssss/_ Tom hissed. It did, in fact, sound better in Parseltongue. The way he said it made a shiver run down my spine and a large, goofy smile to my lips. I looked to where he was standing, but he wasn't there. I looked from side to side then turned around. My nose was merely inches from Tom's. He was looking down at me with a small smile on his face.

"Much better." He said quietly. He was so close, I almost didn't breathe. I could feel our warmth gathering together, blocking out the cold of the room. My heart sped up, and I really hoped he couldn't tell how flustered I was. I was sure there was a blush to my cheeks.

"Uh… y-yea…" I swallowed. I didn't dare think anything for fear he was still inside my head.

"Hehehe" he chuckled darkly, "So very articulate, are we?"

He stepped back and over to his chair at the table, identical to the one in the spacious room, and so I followed him. My chair, sadly, wasn't as comfortable as the other one I usually used. I crinkled my nose and tried to find a comfortable spot, but gave up after finding none. _Aw._

'_What's wrong now?'_

I almost jumped. _Oh, uh. Nothing. Nothing…_ Tom didn't look satisfied with my answer, and I could feel him poking around in my mind. _I'm fine, Tom. Really. I was just being childish._

He rolled his eyes and looked to one of the Death Eaters that had arrived. Thankfully, it was only the Malfoys; we hadn't put up our hoods yet. Lucius, Draco, and Narcissa greeted Tom and sat down at the table. This table was a round table, so I couldn't really avoid looking straight at Malfoy, who was pretending to faint. I rolled my eyes and put up my hood. Draco hadn't changed one bit from school.

The rest of the Death Eaters arrived and all sat around the table. I noticed one seat was empty. Some others had noticed as well, judging by how they looked and whispered to the people next to them. We all were wondering who's it was, and just as I realized the answer, Tom spoke up.

"My dear Death Eaters. These have been times of great trouble and conflict, and we have had yet another change of plans. A large, change of plans. Severus shall not be joining us today, for he has betrayed me beyond ways I thought possible." He paused for a moment, letting the tension in the room rise. "Severus has used a very rare potion on me. One that brought all of my soul's pieces back together, even those that had once died. I have, however, found that the one that was within Harry Potter is still within him. Most likely to keep me from killing him." The whole room was shocked, even Lucius showed it.

"My Lord, what shall we do?" said someone, "If you can be killed, there is no way to keep our plans for-"

"Yes. I fully realize this, Mulciber. That is why there must be a change of plans. We can no longer…" Tom paused. '_I hadn't meant for you to know this, but I suppose you would have found out anyway,'_ he said in my head before continuing "…invade Hogwarts. There are many risks now that we must be aware of."

_YOU WERE GOING TO INVADE HOGWARTS?_

"My Lord, since it is such a danger for you to go into battle, why not just send us in? We will make sure to get every single member of the Order, and I can personally handle Potter-"

"Bellatrix! Enough! I am not sending you into Hogwarts."

_She really _does_ want to kill me…_ I was so shocked from everything. They were going to invade Hogwarts? The thought blew my mind. Hogwarts was the safest place I knew of, not to mention filled with kids. How did they expect to carry that out?

'_Indeed she does.'_

Draco spoke up. "My Lord, I fail to why we cannot go and attack Hogwarts."

"Because, Draco, we can't risk it now. I'm sure the Order knows of his weakness, and would stop at nothing to kill The Dark Lord. As long as he lives, others cower in fear, but if he was dead, all who were once not in the war would join the Light. I'm sure you could understand that." I finished my statement. I sneered at Draco, challenging him to reply.

"Well, of course, the Dark Lord would not be attending the battle. How could they possibly get him if he was not there? It's really an obvious solution, Potter."

The room froze at the mention of my name. _Draco, YOU MORON!_

"Young Draco," Tom started, "I have no idea wh-"

Bellatrix stood and flicked her hand which held a wand. My hood flew back. I tried to put it back on, but it was too late. Everyone had seen me. Bellatrix's eyes widened, as did some others. Bellatrix pointed her wand at me, ready to shoot something, probably the killing curse, at me.

'_**Crucio**_' I heard Tom thunder in his mind. I watched at Bellatrix hit the floor, writhing in pain. It was hard to watch, even if I had once used the same curse on her fifth year. "How dare you" he spoke through his teeth.

I was not surprised. Sure I might have felt surprised, but compared to the reactions of the other Death Eaters who hadn't been aware I was now an ally and not the enemy, I wasn't surprised in the least. As they saw it, their enemy had been listening in on their plans, then when I was revealed, the Dark Lord was punishing someone else. I'm sure they were just about as shocked as Hermione and the Order will be when they find out.

Tom released his curse upon Bellatrix, and she lay limp on the floor, her breathing uneven. The others looked back to me. I gave a half smiled and a small wave. If I could guess how many out of the 23 people in this room that did not know about me before, I would guess about 12. Exactly half of Tom's inner circle had known about me (including Snape). They then looked to Tom.

"My Lord?"

Tom stood, giving the illusion that he was looking down upon everyone, and it made it more frightening, even if I had not done anything wrong.

"I will say this once and once only. Harry has become our ally. He will be the key to our success. If you are so foolish as to even attempt to harm him in anyway, you will be _severely _punished." His red eyes were filled with anger beyond belief as he looked to the faces of those who had not known. Bellatrix was still on the floor, and no one bothered to see how she was, but I was alright with that. Tom sat back down in his chair. "And now, we will find another plan."

"I would really appreciate it if Hogwarts was not involved at all." I said quietly.

Draco scoffed. "Why? I was sure by now that you would give anything to destroy it. Seeing as how is pretty much the reason you were on the wrong side in the first place. Or would you miss your pathetic little friends?" he said mockingly.

"Actually, Draco, I would hate for it to be destroyed because it was the reason I was able to get away from my crappy life. But I'm sure you would have no idea what that is like, being a spoiled brat, and all."

"Look, Potter. Just because you lived with muggles all of your life and I was living the wealthy life of a pure-blood doesn't mean tha-"

"Enough." The voice had startled me. It had been like I was back at school, Hermione and Ron behind me, Crab and Goyle behind Draco, insulting each other like there was no tomorrow. "You both are acting like children." I looked to Tom, and scarlet eyes met mine. "Harry. Draco. You both are dismissed. I no longer wish for you to sit in on this meeting."

_What? You can't do that!_

'Watch me,' he whispered dangerously.

He flicked his hand and both of our chairs flew out the now open door into the hallway. The doors shut and locked. Full of anger I walked over to the door and tried to open it, but the knob wouldn't move an inch. My fist flew against it, not making any noise at all, only leaving my knuckles red and in pain. I continued punching, even if it was no use. _You can't do this! I'm supposed to be in there! You can't do this…_ I put my forehead against the door, giving up.

"All done with your tantrum now?"

I turned to face him. "Shut up Malfoy! You are the reason we are out here instead of in there!" I pointed to the door. "Just keep your big mouth shut!"

"Look, Potter. This is just as much your fault as it is mine! Don't go blaming everything on me!"

I pulled out my wand. "_**Silencio**_!" I shot at Draco. His lips pressed together and didn't open, though you could tell he was trying. "Now calm down. There's no way we are going to find out what's going on afterwards if we don't." I sat down on the floor, awaiting the door to open.

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><p><strong>I hoped you guys liked it! REVIEW!<strong>


	14. Lovely

**Chapter 14: Lovely**

**Hey guys. :) Sorry I was in such a hurry yesterday. I had some stuff to do, and my computer was being stupid. I'll answer all of my reviews from chapter 12 and 13 now. :)**

**Bluetoads: Thank you for your input. I will tell Tom that he is being stupid and to give Harry something to do. :) **

**YaoiCookies87 (chapter 12): Hahaha, nah. Not yet. They gotta work up to that kind of stuff, but I assure you, when it comes, it will be worth the wait. ;) I'm glad you like the story!**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Yea, I didn't want Snape to be a muggle for too long, that's why he's going back to Hogwarts now. **

**YaoiCookies87 (chapter 13): Hehehe. You guessed right. Thanks! :)**

**Ada Malfoy nee Lovelace: I'm glad you like the story! :) That makes me sooooo happy!**

**DarkFlameInfernal: Good. I'm glad you like it. :)**

**I figure if you still need all the warnings and stuff, you can go back and look at other chapters. I find the warnings distract from the awesome story. ;)**

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><p>"I could take in my arms<br>And never let go

So I should keep this to myself  
>And never let you know<p>

And I know it's not right  
>And I guess I should try to do what I should do<p>

So I should keep this to myself"

-_I Could Fall in Love_ by Selena

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I walked over to where Bellatrix still lay. She was just fine now, but for some reason, very likely fear, she felt she should not have gotten back up. I hit her with one more Crustaceous curse to make sure the lesson had sunk in. She wanted to scream, but her lungs could not gather the air to. When I released, she was shaking and her eyes were large and red. "Now leave my sight." I spat.

The meeting had just ended. It had been less productive than I would have thought, considering we really needed Harry's input in some places, but I would not allow him back in. I could understand if Harry and Draco disliked each other, but that did not call for insulting one another in the middle of a meeting. It was completely childish. Of course Lucius and Narcissa had stayed behind to collect their son, and after I saw Bellatrix had apparated away, I opened the door expecting to find them arguing once more. To my surprise, they were sitting cross-legged quietly, although Draco was giving Harry an angry glare. They looked up at us as we exited, but made no move to get up from their positions.

"Dragon, we are to leave now." Narcissa said.

Draco huffed through his nose and looked at Harry, who rolled his eyes and said "Sorry, Draco, but I can't seem to reach my wand. I guess that may be because _someone_ binded my hands."

Draco half smiled, but said nothing. Harry growled quietly.

"What is going on?" Lucius questioned.

"Well isn't it obvious? The boys have binded each other, and so they have been stuck and cannot get out." I sighed. "You really are childish." I waved my hand, and they were released.

"Well maybe if _someone_ hadn't silenced me, I wouldn't have bound his legs to each other."

"Well maybe if you hadn't been such a prat and revealed who I was, I wouldn't have silenced you!"

"Well maybe if you hadn't been so irritating, I would have been quiet!"

"Draco, that is enough. Come now. We are leaving." Lucius stated. Draco reluctantly left, his face still red from his anger.

Harry was no better. I found it rather entertaining to watch Harry when he was angry. His face would grow a red-purple tint to it, his fists were clenched in a way that turned his knuckles white, his usually calm, soothing eyes filled with fury and hatred. I must say, it was a rather good look for him. And I intended to keep that look on him for as long as I could manage.

"What happened in the meeting?" he asked quietly.

"For now, it is none of your concern."

That, of course, worked like a charm.

"None of my concern? It's _ALL_ of my concern! I don't want you to attack Hogwarts! I don't want you to attack anything! Tell me what happened!"

"I find you rather unfit to accept that information."

He stood. "_UNFIT?_ How in the bloody fucking hell am I _UNFIT_ to know about what you are planning to do? I am in this just as much as..." he rambled on and on, yelling as loud as he could. After a few minutes of watching Harry so furious, his voice was hoarse. Harry stopped where he was talking. It grew rather quiet, but the thumps of Harry's head against the wall quickly filled it.

"Harry, stop that." Harry stopped but did not remove his head from the wall. "Now," I walked up behind him until I was close enough to hear his heart pound in his chest (which was actually not as close as one would think)."You will stop being such a child, and eat lunch."

"But I don't want lunch." he said, his voice very much scratchy and hoarse.

"You must eat. Just like you must sleep."

_'I don't have to do either if I don't want to.'_ he said in his mind.

As much as I hate to admit it, I had grown attached to Harry. I had never been around him so much before, and now that I had, I felt like life would be so much different without him. Knowing that he wasn't the person I couldn't kill, but the person I didn't want to kill. Harry was so passionate and trusting and loyal, it was such a change from my cold, paranoid life I had led before. Harry brought so much life. And below the surface, Harry was very much like Tom, so much, it was almost to the point of being identical. I would never tell him this, of course, or anyone else for that matter. I didn't want to be any weaker than I already was.

"Come. You are going to eat." I turned and walked away to the dining room, knowing he would follow me.

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><p>We ate silently, even in our minds. Harry did not eat but a few bites of his lunch, which concerned me. How he could manage to deprive himself of such necessary things as food and sleep, without magic, was beyond me. I truly saw potential in Harry; if he was strong while he was weakest, imagine his strength at his peak. I knew somehow that the plan was for him to change me to the Light, but not if I turned him to the Dark first.<p>

"Harry, what would you say to receiving lessons?"

'_Lessons? What kind of lessons?'_

"Lessons in advanced magic. It would be best for you to learn some magic that you would never learn at Hogwarts."

'_Uh. Sure. Alright then.'_ Harry pushed away his plate.

"But you must eat, Harry."

'_I tried, but I'm not really hungry.'_

I had finished with my plate at that point. Triven popped in and took both out plates away. I stood and motioned Harry to follow after. I had decided to use a room in the same hall as my room; it was large enough and had many little, meaningless knick-nacks to practice on, as well as a few rats in cages to feed to Nagini that would also be good for cursing. I stepped inside, moving the useless tables and rugs that were in the middle of the room. I turned to Harry.

"Now, where shall we start?"

"Wait, _you're_ teaching me?" he said, voice still scratchy.

"Who were you expecting?"

"I don't know. I wasn't really expecting anyone…"

"So back to the lesson." I held up my hand and a book flew into it. It truly was one of my favorite books on curses. There were so many things in it that the wizarding world had seemed to have forgotten. I looked for a simple one to start with. "Ah, here we are… the Gelucrous curse. One of my favorites." I picked out a rat and placed it on the floor. I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the rat. "_**G**__**elo**__** cruore**_." The rat was hit, and its blood began to become so cold it burned. Since the blood partially froze during the curse, large movements, like the rat running around on the floor, will break the blood vessels in the body causing extreme pain, added to the cold burn. It was a truly torturous curse. I saved it for only those I wished to torture a while before killing. The rat was squeaking and running around still, oblivious to the fact that such a thing was causing it more pain. The rat's skin became very blotchy, and it lay still, presumably dead from blood loss or heart attack.

I turned to Harry. He looked horrified. "What the bloody hell was that?"

I smirked. "The Gelucrous curse. A blood freezing curse."

"That's terrible."

"It's a curse, Harry. You may find yourself in a situation where it may be necessary to use it. It works on any type of creature, with the exception of those who have no blood, of course. It doesn't normally kill, but this poor rat was unfortunate enough to think running in circles would stop the pain. The running causes the blood vessels all over the body to break, and the burning cold blood goes everywhere. It's a terrible mess really."

Nagini slithered out her bed in the corner of room and attacked the dead rat, before swallowing it whole. Out anyone, she would rather enjoy this lesson if the rats kept dying. Harry continued to watch, but I could sense his discomfort.

"Harry, it is vital to know these things. Our work will not be easy. It will be dangerous, and you will need to assert yourself as the greater wizard."

"_What?_ What kind of work will we be doing where I will need to torture people?"

I sighed. "Harry. There are many instances where others will try and attack you. You have joined forces with me, and once others hear of this, they will think that you have betrayed them, and they will seek their revenge."

"Why would I torture them, then? That would only confirm their suspicions. But if I didn't fight against them, they would know it was…I don't know. Have I betrayed them?" Harry met my eyes. This would be difficult.

"It is not that simple Harry. And back to the lesson, you _will _learn these curses. You may not have to use them, but I expect you to know and practice them." I figured giving him work would keep him busy, and so he would not snoop around any longer.

He sighed and looked away. _'So, in other words, I have betrayed them,'_ he thought.

_/Massssster…/_ Nagini hissed at me.

_/What isss it, my pet?/_ I bent down and gently petted her head.

_/I have lossst my piecce of you./ _She was obviously distressed about it.

_/Yesss, I am aware. All iss well, though. I have it./_

_/Oh. I wasss very frightened massster. I am glad you have it./_ I continued to stroke her, and she calmed down.

I stood. "Alright, Harry. Back to the lesson."

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The whole lesson was shocking, and horrible, and odd, but the most odd and shocking part was watching Tom be so affectionate to his snake. I always saw Tom as a misunderstood guy who generally kept his distance from living things. I was terribly wrong. He cared so much for his snake, I not only saw it, but sensed it. Judging by the conversation I listened to (I had no idea the snake was a horcrux before), that was probably the reason; the snake had held a piece of him. I could see how that would make someone care so much for something.

"Alright, Harry. Back to the lesson."

I inwardly sighed. I always knew I would learn some bad spells, but I had never imagined I would learn something so horrible, or from _the_ Dark Lord, master of all things dark and evil (*evil theme music and evil laughing in the background*). As much as I felt we were alike, I could never bring myself to use something so terrible on a human-being. Maybe a rat, but humans were completely different.

"You try."

I winced. I was dreading when he would say those words, and they just flew through the air at me. I grabbed my wand out of my pocket and pointed it at the next rat Tom had pulled out of the large cage. I stood still on the floor, petrified with fear. I took a slow deep breath.

"_**G**__**elo**__** cruore**_."

The rat was struck with the indigo colored ray of light that had shot out of my wand, and it twisted on the floor. This rat didn't run in circles, but it died anyway. The feeling that I had caused such terrible pain in any living thing was like having something eating away at my brain, that something being guilt.

"Very well done, Harry."

"Yea…sure."

Tom flipped through the book some more. Whatever book that was, I don't think I would ever enjoy it as much as Tom seemed to. "Next, I suppose we could try this one." He put the book down. "I'm afraid we won't know if the spell is working right on a rat, and so we will need a human test subject."

_WHAT?_ "It doesn't have the potential to kill, does it? I don't think I could live with myself if I…" I shiver rippled down my spine.

"Not from the spell directly, but people have been known to kill themselves afterwards." Tom raised his wand and sent out a green spell into the air. I wasn't sure what it was, but I was too preoccupied with the fact that I could possibly make someone kill themself.

Immediately, Wormtail appeared in the room. "You needed me, Master?"

"Yes, we need a test subject to help Harry's lesson on curses."

Suddenly, I didn't feel so bad about this curse. Yes, that sounds bad and completely contradicts what I said earlier, but this was Peter Pettigrew. If I could have picked someone to torture, he was bloody well going to be perfect. He betrayed my parents, killed Cedric Digory, brought back Voldemort…mostly the first one angered me, for I could care less about the last one (presently, of course. I was furious back then), and I had barely known Cedric, after all. He had turned in his friends to be killed, and they had trusted him. Sirius, my dad, and Remus had called him Wormtail when he was there friend, but I feel he lost the rights to use that name after doing something so horrible.

"But…but Master..." Pettigrew was pleading.

"Enough. It shall be done." Tom looked irritated. It seems I wasn't the only one who found Pettigrew worthless. "Now this is a curse," he looked to me, "that takes over the mind and images of the victims worst fears become their only vision until the curse is done." Pettigrew whined, showing how much of a coward he was. Tom readied his wand and pointed at Pettigrew. "_**Ho**__**rrorem mente**__**.**_" Pettigrew's eyes went completely white and he cringed. He began screaming and he fell to the floor like someone had struck him. It was almost entertaining. Almost. There was still a part of me that felt bad about it.

"Alright Harry, your turn."

Scratch that, part of me was really going to enjoy this.

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I could sense the satisfaction Harry was already feeling. As he prepared to shoot the curse, Pettigrew, the worthless coward he was, cringed away from him. It seems we both would enjoy this.

"_**Ho**__**rrorem mente**__**.**_" Harry cast his spell, and Pettigrew fell under the curse once more. I looked to Harry, and he seemed to be in a wonderland, and a whole new appearance came to him. His grassy green eyes were cold and piercing, the side of his mouth twitched up like he would break into an evil smile at any moment. This was a side of Potter I had not seen before. At any chance I got, I would anger him to see him full of fury, but now, I found this much more (dare I say) attractive. Something about the Dark side of Harry made my heart pound, and my lungs press for the oxygen they so needed. A different kind of feeling set in, unlike any other I had felt before, and I was enjoying it.

Harry lifted the curse, and Pettigrew lay curled up on the floor. '_I rather like this rat, Tom.'_ He thought.

_As do I. Shall we try another curse?_

'_Yes. We shall.'_ He smiled. '_But first, I'd like to try something.'_

As Pettigrew sat up, irritatingly slow, Harry once again prepared. "_**G**__**elo**__** cruore**_." Pettigrew yelled and shut his eyes, but didn't dare move. He knew this curse, of course, was deadly if he moved. That look overcame Harry once more, and I couldn't help but smile. _Beautiful_, I thought.

'_Thank you,'_ he smirked, thinking I was talking about his spell. It was properly cast, and Pettigrew only made it more satisfying, but I could not help but look at Harry. He was truly the most beautiful thing I had seen, filled with all that cold-hearted hatred in his eyes; it was breath-taking.

Harry dropped it, and Pettigrew whined on the floor. I was thoroughly disappointed when the look vanished from Harry's face, but I kept that to myself.

"Well done, Harry." He seemed content with his what we had learned so far. "And now, the next curse."

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><p><strong>Yay! Tom's making some progress! Hoped you guys liked it. Please comment! Tell me what you liked or didn't like. I really love all the comments! :) Y'all are awesome! M'kay thanks.<strong>


	15. Inevitable Blood Lust

**Chapter 15: Inevitable Blood Lust**

**You guys are amazing! I went to sleep, and when I woke up I had exactly 14 emails from you guys favoriting and signing up for alerts and reviewing. I really appreciate every single one! :D **

**YaoiCookies87: :) I'm glad you love my story! Hehehe, yea. I figured Harry could have some fun torturing him. ;)**

**xxSnowxxAngelxx: I figured by having them trying to convert each other, it would still be a battle between good and evil. I'm glad you like. And yes, Harry IS awesome when he's dark. And Tom seems to agree…**

**Sneaky lunatic spy: Lol. It's kind of my thing to say that. I would love to say I was going to write more about Pettigrew getting hit with curses, but sadly I am not. Of course, I did make sure to say they tortured him for the rest of the day. :) (*evil laugh*) I hate him too. It's all good. (M'kay? M'kay…)**

**Reader-anonymous: Thank you for your comment. I will be sure to include all of that when the time is right, don't worry. :) And your hope that Snape was right has a good chance of happening… of course it takes time. :) **

**Screw it, I'm writing the notices again. Just cause I feel like it.**

**Note: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. I am obbessed, of course, with the series, and therefore decided to write this lovely story that I kinda wished had happened instead of Lord Voldemort dying. But not all of our wishes can come true. :( But still… I own this awesome story. :)**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; SOON TO BE HOT SEX SCENES THAT WOULD MELT YOUR EYES OUT IF YOU WATCHED THEM, BUT IT WILL BE IN WORDS, SO THERE IS NO HEALTH RISK WHATSOEVER, I PROMISE; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

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><p>"I will kill you in your sleep<br>So you'd better try  
>Try and keep your left eye open<br>And your right toe twitching  
>Cause I'm in the kitchen with a knife<br>that's sitching for your red blood  
>On those white sheets<p>

I will kill you in your sleep  
>So you better try<br>Try and keep awake"

-_Keep Awake_ by 100 Monkeys

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Snape had never enjoyed Hogwarts as much as he did now, looking over the empty Great Hall, and feeling great once more. That awful muggle life of mine his thankfully over. _I suppose I would live a life of magic and be killed than to live a life of none and have to deal with muggles every single day of my life. Muggles were so pathetically connected to their possessions and obsessions._ As he said before, he would never understand muggles.

Thankfully, he had returned to Hogwarts very easily. Snape, of course, needed to tell Potter, somehow, that he was at Hogwarts, without Lord Voldemort knowing. He didn't want to bring trouble to Hogwarts when it could otherwise be avoided. Owls were out of the question, as were Patronus charms. He needed something clever. _I could send him something that would signify that I was here, but what use would it do if Lord Voldemort could just peer into his thoughts and see that I was here._ He needed a way to, at least, guarantee that Hogwarts would be kept out of the mess. _I could just send him an owl telling him to convince Lord Voldemort to spare me. Even if the Dark Lord did read it, Harry would be able to get to him before he could kill me._ He sighed, knowing that he could only hope Harry read the letter first.

_Dear Harry,_

_I feel it would significantly help me if you could convince Lord Voldemort not to kill me. I have come out of hiding, and I do not fear death, but I fear the safety of my current residence and others who are here as well. I understand that you may be the only person who can do this, for if you can't, no one can. I won't wish you luck. _

_Sincerely,  
>Severus Snape<br>Headmaster of Hogwarts  
>P.S Feel free to ask for guidance as well dealing with the Dark Lord. I understand he may have ideas that would ruin the purpose of my potion.<em>

Severus tied the note to an owl, and let it go. The owl flew out the window and into the beautiful world. It soared above forests colored with autumn, its leaves giving in to gravity and covering the ground in colors, grasslands where the wind blew through, making a whistling noise ever so quietly as small animals hid underneath rushing to gather food for winter, lakes where the fish jumped out, revealing their metallic scales that would blend in with the sparkling waters beneath them, towns where people bustled about like tiny worker ants below, and finally to hills that seemed to go on forever, with grass greener than anywhere else and leaves of brighter reds, yellows, and browns, where a large manor overlooked it all.

The owl went in through the designated owl entrance, into a large spacious room, and down a hallway. The owl landed in front of the last door in the dark hallway, and scratched on the door. No sound came from the other side, and so the owl continued to scratch. Harry opened the door. He had just finished brushing his teeth, taking his time because he dreaded sleep. He saw the owl hop forward and carefully removed the note from its leg and read it. _Severus wants me to convince Tom not to kill him. Knowing Tom, that won't be easy._ "_**Accio ink and quill**_."

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I will try my best. You know as well, if not more so, as I that it won't be easy to do, no matter who I am. _

_Since you mentioned help, and ideas he may have, Tom has started to teach me curses. Today we worked most of the day on various ones. I was against it at first, I felt bad for the poor rats we were torturing to death. Later on, Tom got Pettigrew, and I practiced on him for the rest of the time. As I'm sure you can understand, it was fun, but I still do not want to use the curses on others. What should I do about this?_

_Sincerely,  
>Harry Potter<br>Boy-Who-Is-Saving-Your-Life-At-The-Possible-Expence-Of-His-Own_

_P.S What is with the whole "Headmaster at Hogwarts" being underneath your name? I'm perfectly aware you are Headmaster, and this has nothing to do with Hogwarts. _

Harry smiled as he tied the note back up to the owl and sent it on its way. He liked being so irritating to Snape, but he really did respect him underneath all the humor. If Tom hadn't gone to sleep, he most definitely would have begun begging for Snape's life.

_Tom_, he thought, reaching out for the Dark Lord's mind, _Are you asleep yet?_

_'No, Harry. What is wrong?'_

_Nothing. I was just thinking... What would you do if you found Snape?_

_'I would cast many of the curses you learned today at him, possibly some others as well, and torture him until he begged for death, which I would only give him as an act of mercy and pity.'_

Harry's face fell into a shocked expression. _That's horrible..._

_'That is what traitors deserve, Harry, for their disloyalty. I'm sure you can understand that. What would you have done to Pettigrew after you found out he had betrayed your parents?'_

_Well... I suppose I would torture him, but not kill him. And Snape is different from Pettigrew._

_'Different? How so? They both are filthy, backstabbing, traitors who cannot keep their loyalty straight.'_

_Maybe, but Severus had different things in mind when he did it. He only thought of what was best for you and me in the long run. He had good intentions. Pettigrew was too cowardly to refuse you, and he knew they were going to die. There is loads of difference there._

Tom sat down on the edge of his bed. While the earlier events had gotten rid of his stress, he found it was all rushing back to him now. His head ached, and he rubbed his temples, considering what Harry had said. _'Though I see your point, Harry, there must be some type of punishment to ensure I have no others who betray me. Not only did he defy me, but he did so in the worst way possible. He cannot get off easy, and the only way I see the punishment fit is if he dies.'_

Harry huffed. He wasn't getting through to Tom as he had hoped he would. _Why is killing so easy for you? I know you are a Dark Lord, and you strike fear in the hearts of all, etc, but have you ever thought about the person you were killing? Snape is so much more than a follower who has done something you wished he had not. He's an excellent potions master, for one. He actually found a potion to rebind your soul while most others could never dream of such a thing existing, let alone make it. He's headmaster at Hogwarts. Without a headmaster, the school will fall out of its normal order, and Snape is as qualified as anyone else for the job. He has a past he may not be proud of, full of hurt and loneliness, something we both understand. He is more than a person to kill. He is a great wizard, just like us. If anything, he should be spared the consequences and be allowed to live like we would want to, were we in his position._

Harry's little speech had really made an impact on Tom. He really was reconsidering what to do with Snape. Harry's talent to convince was not so far off the Dark Lord's talents of manipulation. Tom continued to rub his temples, scolding himself for even considering what Harry said.

_'What should I do then? I can't just let him get away with it. Without consequences, there is no order, Harry. I must keep order. Without order, there is chaos, and nothing can run with chaos. He must make a sacrifice to keep order. The world will continue to work if this is done.' _

Tom's silver tongue danced and Harry's conviction was breeched. Harry never thought this could be so much bigger than just Snape. Would a world of chaos be worth one life saved? Harry wasn't about to give up.

_Tom, the world won't interrupt into chaos just because someone did not die. In fact, it may rejoice that an innocent life was saved. Snape is worth forgiveness. He has done so much for you that has proved him so loyal, it is hard to believe he would just throw that all away for nothing. He did it to fix the flaws and make you stronger. He did it so you would be successful, no matter what happened to him in the process. He knew you would want to kill him. The only reason he is hiding was to ensure you made it. Snape would never betray you like that without having a reason greater than the consequences._

If Tom had a silver tongue, Harry had a golden one. Tom used logic and cunning to control, but Harry used truth and encouragement to show. Tom was intent on himself and his world, but Harry was selfless and kind. Tom saw this, and hated the pure honesty that came from Harry's mind, but found he could not deny truth with logic, if logic said the truth was fact. Refusing to give in, Tom continued. _'If Snape knew the consequences of his actions, and still preformed them, he understands he sacrificed his life, and it shall remain that way. I will kill him for what he did.'_

Harry couldn't believe Tom's stubbornness. _Did you ever think that what Snape did wasn't as bad as you once thought? Sure, you could die easier, but I am still your horcrux. I can assure you, no one would dare kill me, even to get to you. Dumbledore might have, but no one else could bring themselves to do it. What he has done is make you whole again, and brought back your tools to bring people to your side. Fear is not a way to ensure people do what you say. As you have seen, many times, I assume, those who become less afraid of you do what they can to free themselves from your power, and influence. Fear does not hold people forever. But there is another way to bring people over, and to conquer what needs to be, and to better the world for the future. It's called compassion. When you can stand before people and win them over with pure truth from your words, and have people who will be loyal no matter what other influences there are, and actually make that difference through persistence and patience. It's what many people lack. But having that back sets you apart from those others. You have an reliable advantage on your side, and you can't waste it._

Tom was surprised, to say the least. Not only did Harry make sense, but he really did manage to encourage him to spare Snape _and_ try a different approach with his followers, and his entire cause. Tom wouldn't admit it though, even to himself.

_'Harry, the decision has been made. I am not changing my punishment for Severus. Now go to sleep.'_

Harry huffed once more. Tom could be so difficult. He disliked Tom using his power as the older person to end the conversation before Harry could convince him. Harry did not bother wishing Tom a good night and pulled his mind away from Tom's. He was frustrated that Tom didn't budge from where he stood (figuratively of course). _Who's being childish now?_ he thought. _At least I didn't run from the argument before the other side could say something. _But then again, that was who Harry was. He stood up to what opposed him. Harry would ram a brick wall with his head if it stood in his way of a life he needed to save. Tom, however, was not a brick wall. He was smoke, wispy and not able to catch. Harry could try to ram smoke all he wanted, but it would continue to evade him. He needed a new approach. _But how does one catch smoke?_ Harry thought for a while on this instead of sleeping.

By this time, the owl had arrived to Snape with Harry's reply. Severus read it and almost smiled. It was so simple to see what the Dark Lord was doing. He was trying to convert Harry before Harry converted him. It was like they were battling all over again, except this time, through words. It was Light vs. Dark; the inevitable battle that was prophesied was taking place, but instead of killing each other, they would kill the very essence of one another, for neither could truly be on the other side without undergoing a large change in the very things that defined them.

Severus summoned parchment, ink, and a quill.

_Dear Harry,_

_As it seems, My Lord is trying to change you to the Dark before you change him to the Light. I can see no way to stop this other than to convert him first. I am thrilled you both have bonded over torturing Pettigrew. Yes, I'm _sure_ that will help you save the Wizarding world. Be mindful, Harry. The Dark Lord is clever, and he may influence you to do things that would bring you steps backward. Use caution._

_Sincerely,  
>Severus Snape<br>Headmaster at Hogwarts_

_P.S It is a title I rightfully own. I am aware you know of it, and that this may not be Hogwarts business. I may sign my name with whatever I please, as you have done. _

Severus sent the owl back with his reply, thinking of how irritating Potter was. _Just like his father._

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I needed a plan. Everything I was hit with today fussed about my mind, demanding I find a way to fix it. I needed something to organize my thoughts. I needed to list them out. I really didn't like lists all that much, but I guess they come in handy sometimes, especially in mental chaos.

_Problems that need solving:_

_#1: I needed to convert Tom to "The Light" before he converted me to "The Dark"_

I really didn't understand this much. I never really saw Light and Dark, just bad things that needed to be stopped, and I found some of that on both sides. Tom wanted me to become like Voldemort, evil, murderous, inhuman, and I wanted Voldemort to become Tom, understanding, compassionate, and just human in general. I needed a way to rid of Tom's alter-ego, and make him never want it back. _If neglect, loneliness, and anger created it, then maybe happiness, friendship, and understanding would fix it. First to work on, turning anger to happiness. How to do this though…_ Harry thought of what made him happy, and just things related with happiness. Then the idea struck him. _If Tom gave me a lesson in spells, I should give him a lesson in spells._

_#1: 1/3 SOLVED! 2/3rds to go._

_#2: Tom will not spare Snape's life._

This absolutely made me furious with him. Yes, maybe I had originally not liked Snape very much when I first came to Hogwarts, or every time he humiliates me in Potions class, or when he insults my dad, but I knew Snape was a good person, and that he has sacrificed himself many times for my sake. I simply _had_ to save him. _But how the bloody fuck do I convince Tom? Good question. I am not able to answer yet._

_#2: Work In Progress_

_#3: Snape said torturing Pettigrew was not helping me with Tom, but bringing me "steps backward."_

I really didn't care. That was the most fun I had ever had torturing someone (not that I had really ever tortured anyone before). _I won't make a habit of it, of course, but it was nice while it lasted._

_#3: Don't give a rat's ass (no pun intended)_

_#4: Tom wouldn't tell me what happened in the meeting._

This really was not a good sign. That could have meant that I wasn't going to be involved in whatever was taking place, or that it would be something terrible, or worse, that they would still be invading Hogwarts. I had no idea. My paranoia was getting the better of me, I could tell. _I trust Tom not to invade Hogwarts if I did not approve. I know he wouldn't do that._

_#4: Solution: Take some calming draught. Stop being so paranoid. Trust Tom._

I thought about other things that might need fixing. I got the main problems, so I figured that was enough.

"_**Accio Calming Draught**_"

Once the potion bottle fell into the palm of my hand, I immediately drank it. I felt loads better, but I didn't dare go to sleep. I walked out of my room and over to the bar. I felt another butterbeer would be just perfect. Once I had my drink, I went to the sitting room to look out onto the enchanted hills in the window, and get lost in wishes of standing on them.

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><p><strong>Harry's got a plan, guys! Hahaha. I hope you guys liked it! <strong>

**Anyone else seen the Deathly Hallows part 2? It makes me sad that it's the last one! :( I don't ever want it to end…**

**Please comment. They always make my day. :) M'kay, thanks!**


	16. A Diffrent Kind of War

**Chapter 16: A Different Kind of War**

**:D Yay! I'm excited! I don't know why, I just am. Thank you for favoriting! Every time someone favorites my story, a baby bunny is saved from being run over by a car (statistically). Hehehe. So I found these really yummy cookies at Target. They are called "Hello Panda" and they have little Pandas on them and are filled with crème. Not only are they super cute, they are delicious! I also got some Pop Rocks. Love those. Anyway… enough about me and what I'm eating.**

**Aliengirlguy: Oh. I see what you mean. I didn't like Snape dying either. Thank you! I'm glad you like it. **

**YaoiCookies87: Hahaha, alright! I'm glad you like Tom and Harry out debating each other. :) **

**Aeiou.123.456: Thank you for commenting! I'm glad you like my story, and Harry and Tom trying to convert each other. I got the idea from the prophecy. It says "the other may not live while the other survives" and I hate how they thought that meant they would have to kill one another, though that is kind of what it means. But I thought it could mean their essence (Harry being the Savior, beacon of hope for the Light; Voldemort being evil, inhuman, leader of the Dark side) could not live while the other's essence is alive. This way, the prophecy is still very much true, but neither of them would have to die to fulfill it. Smart, right? ;)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Thanks! I know, it was a really awesome movie. :)**

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. I only own this awesome story that amazing people read. :)**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT, NOT TO MENTION LUSTFULL, NAUGHTY THOUGHTS; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks.**

* * *

><p>"I reached out<br>To touch you  
>The morning light disarms you<br>Won't you let me in?  
>How long 'til your surrender?<br>How long 'til your surrender?  
>It's a long way for heartbreak<br>Let you heart wait and bleed  
>How long 'til your surrender to me?"<p>

-_Your Surrender_ by Neon Trees

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The morning had come at last. I had spent all night in the sitting room, staring out the window, watching the portraits, and warming myself by the fireplace; I really liked it. _Now_, I told myself,_ it is time to try and turn Voldemort into Tom._

I went back to my room, showered, and got ready in my clothes. _To do this, I will need to be a bit more Slytherin than normal._ I transfigured my brown shirt into a dark green one, that my eyes seemed to adjust to match, and my dark jeans into black ones. Looking in the mirror, I told myself, _You look hot, _just for the confidence boost. Instead of trying to tame my hair, I just ran my fingers through it to make it presentable. I went into the hallway, which was now nice and bright, over to the familiar arch, and down the stairs.

Tom was almost done with his breakfast. I stood beside my chair, too anxious to eat.

"Not eating again, Harry?"

I smiled. If I didn't know any better, I would say Tom cared about me. "Nope. Not hungry. I didn't sleep either." Tom looked at me. His red orbs did more than meet my eyes, but scan over my being. I figured he was probably waiting for me to collapse from lack of sleep and nourishment. "I'm fine, Tom. Really. I'm used to this. In fact, you should be concerned if I eat every meal and sleep every night. I've never done that in my entire life." He pushed his plate away. He wasn't entirely finished, but close enough. "I was thinking...you gave me lessons on spells I might need. I figured maybe I could give you lessons on spells you might need."

"Harry," he looked confused, and the tiniest bit annoyed, "I have been through all of my school years at Hogwarts and studied numerous books filled with advanced magic beyond your years. What possible spell could exist that I don't know that you do?"

I couldn't help but shine my award-winning smile. Oh, did I have something planned for him. I felt so clever, because I knew exactly how he would react.

"You'll see."

A house elf popped in, took Tom's plate, and popped away. Tom stood up, and lead the way to the room we had used yesterday, probably anxious to find out what spell it was. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face all the way there. I was a child who was about to eat some candy before dinner, and there was nothing to be done about it.

He shut the door behind him. "Now tell me this spell."

"You might have heard of it, but I imagine you have not been able to perform it. I learned to do it my third year at Hogwarts."

Tom waited for me to tell him what it was, but I just had to let him wait. I had to catch his reaction. _Could I possibly get someone in here with a camera to take a picture so I could watch his expression over and over again? _I could only smile at how I imagined he would react. It would be the funniest expression I, or anyone for that matter, would see on Tom's face, I could just tell.

"What is it, Potter? I demand to know."

"It's called a Patronus Charm. It's a type of defensive spell used against dark creatures, such as Dementors. I feel it would be helpful, because it can also pass messages. Everyone has a different Patronus animal, so you can always ensure who it is."

He looked irritated, and shocked, and impressed, and unsure all at the same time. I was completely right when I thought his reaction was picture worthy. _Priceless._ I could have sold that picture and become rich beyond my wildest dreams, or kept it for myself and look at it every time I was upset to cheer me right up; eternal happiness. "Ever cast one?"

Tom, still looking more doubtful and irritated, replied, "No. I have not."

"Oh, good." I was positive he didn't expect to actually hear a spell he didn't know from me. I still wanted a camera to capture this moment. _Where was Collin when you needed him?_ "Then let's get started." I pulled my wand from my pocket and decided a demonstration was needed to prove I wasn't making everything up.

"_**Expecto Patronum**_."

A white light came from my wand, and took the form of a stag. It turned to face Tom, and bowed before vanishing. I looked back to Tom. Oh, there it was again! Rita Skeeter, come quick! Your newest scandal is here. _Voldemort shocked by Harry Potter's ability to cast Patronus Charm_. I smiled again. This was perfect.

I quickly sobered. This was going to be the hard part. "To cast a Patronus Charm, you must think of a memory. The happiest memory you have, and it has to be powerful. When I cast mine, I think of various things, sometimes they aren't even real. Once, I cast it without thinking of anything consciously, but it repelled hundreds of Dementors. That was when-" I stopped myself. _Oh, that's right. He forgot about my dream with Sirius._ "...when I was in third year. Trying to explain what happened that night is... complicated, so I won't go into any detail. You try it."

Tom sighed and thought. He silently debated some things, then pulled out his wand. "_**Expecto Patronum.**_" Nothing happened.

"That's ok." I said awkwardly. "I didn't cast it my first try either. What did you think of?"

He looked to me. "It's a private memory."

"Oh. Ok. Well, it might not have been powerful enough. Try something with more power to it."

Raising his wand once more, Tom preformed the incantation. "_**Expecto Patronum**_." Once again, nothing happened. Tom hissed a curse.

"What did you think of that time?"

"Raising to power once more. Having rule over everyone who ever defied me."

I was truly surprised. "That's... not exactly happy. It has to be a good memory. Have you ever been happy? While not being evil or course."

"Of course I've been...happy." The word didn't fit his voice. I had never imagined he would have that word in his dictionary. I didn't believe him.

"When?" I tried to say casually, but it sounded a bit suspicious and accusing.

He didn't reply. Instead he lifted his wand and said, "_**Expecto Patronum**_." To his irritation, no white light came from his wand.

"Tom, it's alright. Neither of us have had lives full of bliss. I really had to make up a memory my first time. Just think of something that would make you truly happy, even if it's completely imaginary."

The message obviously had not made a dent in Tom's frustration. "_**Expecto Patronum**_!" he growled. Still, nothing. "_**Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum**_!"

"Tom. Just calm down..."

His blood-red eyes, full of fury, pierced mine. "How can a brat like you perform such a simple spell, yet, with decades of experience over you, I cannot?"

I sighed. Here it comes. "I'm going to be honest, Tom. I don't think you're capable of happiness."

"A Dark Lord doesn't need such a pathetic emotion. This spell is completely useless."

"It has been so useful to the Order. That is how they send messages to each other because it is fast, and you can always know it was not an imposter who sent it, as are the risks with letters tied to owls. It is perfect for keeping in touch during times when it is absolutely necessary that no Dark forces interfere. You just... have to get creative with what you think of. What would make you happy? Don't cast just yet, just think."

Tom hissed one more curse, but did as I said. He closed his eyes, concentrating. The room fell silent. Several minutes went by like hours.

"Do you need help?" I asked quietly.

He didn't reply, but opened up his mind slowly. I saw memories flash by like lightning, only catching glimpses of each one. None looked to be out standing in any way. After a long collection, they stopped. _'Anything useable?'_ he thought.

I shook my head. I needed to plant something happy in here somehow, but couldn't think of something a Dark Lord would truly be happy about, but I tried something. I thought of my parents. They talked to me about school, and my friends, and told the story of how they met. I let it fill me entirely. It was such a simple thought, but it would make me a different person entirely to have experienced it. I spread it over through the mind link, making sure Tom saw it.

"Try it now."

Tom opened his eyes and his wand hand rose. "_**Expecto Patronum**_." This time, the words had a new meaning to them, and light erupted from his wand like a shield. After a few seconds, it died.

"That was good," I said encouragingly.

"I thought it was an animal. Why is mine not?"

"Well, it takes practice to get an animal, let alone a solid one, like mine. But you managed to cast one. Which shows it was your memory that wasn't strong enough, not you lacking the skill to cast it."

I felt sorry for Tom, similar to fifth year in the Department of Mysteries. He had to borrow my memories to feel happiness. No matter what he thought, torturing people, getting revenge, and being in power are not truly happy memories. That is a life lesson right there. Tom seemed angered again, but not for the same reason. I knew, of course, that he would not rest until there were no spells I could cast that he couldn't. This would force him to be happy, thus bringing him closer to being human. I looked through his mind this time, seeing a few things I shouldn't have, like him killing people, but I didn't stop. I came to yesterday, when he watched me torture Pettigrew. I was horrified seeing myself like that. I looked...evil! I could see how Snape thought this was sending me backwards. Tom noticed my dismay and chuckled to himself.

"What?" I said.

He raised his wand once more. "_**Expecto Patronum**_." A tiny spurt of light came out, but nothing much. He pushed me out of his mind, blocking it off. I decided he was going to search through things I might not want to see, to find something some-what close to the effects of seeing me torture Pettigrew. I had no idea what that could be, of course, but I let him be. He tried again. "_**Expecto Patronum**_." A light erupted from his wand, much like the last time, but then it morphed into the head of a basilisk.

It was rather solid, but not completely. He looked content with his progress, and I was pleasantly surprised. "Brilliant."

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

A basilisk. What an absolutely perfect match for me. This spell had more than frustrated me before, to the point where I nearly pulled out my own hair. It was not until Harry had shown me what he thought of that I realized I was completely unqualified to perform this spell, and I almost quit then and there. Then Harry had seen my memory of himself torturing Pettigrew, as horrified as he was, and I recalled how I felt seeing Harry being in such a state. I tried this thought, with little results, but I was finding the requirements a memory needed. I had an idea in my head, and pushed out Potter before he could see it. This idea was awful, and mad, but I found it difficult to resist. I absolutely could not let Harry know a spell I could not cast.

I had thought of Harry, that look in his eyes, walking over to me. He came close enough so I could feel his breath, and looked into my eyes with those cold, deep peridot orbs that could stab right through my lungs and steal their air. He leaned in, placing his teeth to my neck and nibbled playfully before biting down hard, which sent a searing enjoyment down my spinal cord and throughout my body. It was extremely odd, but when I cast the charm, it worked.

I was humiliated that I had thought of something so very... peculiar. I could obviously never inform Harry that this thought had appeared in my mind, for I wasn't even sure what it meant. I did, however, find pride that I was finally able to cast this charm. No matter how Harry said it was useful, I somehow knew that it was my own plan turned against me. I couldn't exactly fit in how being happy would bring me to the Light, but I was sure it was a beginning.

"Now let's try it again, only this time, I want you to send a message with it."

A scratch at the door paused the (*low growl in throat*) lesson. Harry walked over to the door and opened it, letting an owl hop through. He looked at me then quickly back to the bird as he bent down and removed the message.

"Who is it from?"

Harry's mouth curled up a bit, and he shook his head. "This is perfect. Let me demonstrate how to do this. I am going to tell this person what we are doing, and to reply with their Patronus. The message can be spoken out loud, if needed, but mostly you think of it in your mind. I will do so out loud of course, so you can hear what I say."

Harry looked over the note once more before raising his wand. "_**Expecto Patronum.**_" His stag appeared, and after a few moments of silence, he began to talk to it. "Tom and I are practicing Patronus Charms. He wasn't so successful at first, but he's been able to cast one with no help at all, so it's progress. His Patronus is a basilisk. How shocking. I would like you to send a Patronus back to me. And if I were you, I would not…" he paused, looking to me "…well let's just say I still have some work to be done about you-know-what." He smiled and moved his wand in a flicking motion. The stag galloped around the room, then jumped through a wall.

"Who is the note from, Harry? You _will _tell me."

"I don't think I will. I know what you would do if I did, and I can't have that happen."

_Insufferable brat._ "Tell me now, Potter."

He smirked. "I feel you are _unfit_ to handle this information."

_Using my own words against me… _If he was not the key to my career, and my life, I would most definitely have punished him for what he said. But of course, that would not be the right move to pull in my current situation, where I (this word shall burn in my throat) _depend_ on him.

Another Patronus came into the room, yet this one was a doe. It walked cautiously into the room, then went over to Potter. "I fear I may be recognizable by my voice, Harry" it said in a monotone. "And so, I would like to ask for My Lord's forgiveness. I meant no harm to you, My Lord, and I hope that you may see that. I am glad to hear that the Dark Lord can send a proper Patronus Charm, and that he has an animal so fit to his personality. Continue working Harry."

"Severus." I looked to Potter, fury leaking into my eyes. "You were sending letters to Severus. How long?"

"Only a day or two, Tom. And before you ask, he wouldn't tell me where he was, but he did say he decided to come out of hiding, and that's why I was asking you to spare him. _**Expecto Patronum**_."

His stag appeared once more. "I'm very sorry, Professor. I didn't realize he would hear you voice. I'm still working, don't worry. I would like to test if Tom can send his Patronus with a message. When you get it, please reply." It galloped straight through the wall once more.

"Alright, your turn."

Still not quite understanding what exactly the memory meant, I was cautious that Harry could not view my mind before I let it fill me entirely. I could almost feel the sensation in my veins, flowing alongside my blood. "_**Expecto Patronum**_" My wand lit at the tip, expelling a bright white light that took shape of a basilisk. _You are lucky,_ I told it, _that Harry wishes you to live. Otherwise, you would find yourself at Death's door, pleading to be let in to be spared of the horrible tortures I would have inflicted on you. I it would be wise to refrain from anything that would make me change my mind._ I cast it off, and it slithered through the wall at striking speed.

"Did you send a message with it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I did."

Harry smiled. "Good. Now let's see if Snape gets it."

A few moments of silence passed, which was an eternity due to waiting.

"What did you say to him?" Harry asked curiously.

"Some things." I replied, being as vague as I could be.

"What kinds of things? Death threat kind of things? Or small talk sort of things?" He said the last option sarcastically.

I smiled a bit. _Maybe Harry knows me a little too well._ "Can't it be both?"

Harry sighed and rubbed his face. Just then, the doe reappeared. "It worked very well, Harry. I did receive his message." It turned and bowed to me. "Thank you, My Lord." Then it vanished.

Harry looked confused, to say the least. "He…_thanked_ you? For what?"

I thought about informing Harry, but I figured this would be a perfect time to make him angry again. "It is none of your concern."

Instead of getting angry, Harry just shrugged. "I'll just ask Snape then. _**Expecto Patronum.**_" After a few seconds, his stag cast off, without Harry saying a word.

"He wouldn't dare tell you."

"Why not? Unless you said something you don't want me to know about, like how you said you would spare his life." Harry smiled mischievously.

_That brat!_ "How did you find out? My mind was sealed tightly."

"Yes, it was. But I'm not stupid. Snape wouldn't thank you for any other reason, given the circumstances."

Although Harry was being terribly irritating, I smiled inwardly. It was not usual for him to be this clever, and perceptive. If I had not known any better, I would have said he would have been a fine Slytherin. "Then why did you still send your Patronus to Severus? A little unsure?"

"Of course not," he said. "I didn't send the Patronus to Snape."

That was concerning. Who on Earth could Harry have sent that too? And more importantly, what did it say? I found playing my own game to be more irritating than anything else. I did this to Harry, not the other way around. I needed to turn the tables. "Oh really? Then which of your little friends did you send that to?"

"I sent it to my friend, Hermione. I'm sure you've heard of her, since she was part of the 'Golden Trio.' And before you ask, I told her Snape was safe. That's all."

I narrowed my eyes. That could be true, but it also could not be. I knew I should trust Harry, but that just wasn't in my nature.

* * *

><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

The lesson ended. Harry only had that one spell in mind. They both left the room, Harry first, then Tom, since he stayed longer to check on Nagini. Harry went up to his hallway, down to the room with the crystal looking glass. He needed to see how Ron was doing. He truly hoped Ron was better now, though he didn't see any reason for him to be. Nothing had changed. _Show me Ron_. The outside of the Burrow appeared. Ron, Fred and George, Percy, Ginny, Bill, and Charlie played a makeshift game of Quidditch. By the looks of it, Ron, Fred, and Bill were one team, with Fred as chaser, Ron as keeper, and Bill as seeker. The other team was Percy as keeper, Ginny as seeker, and Charlie as keeper. Since there weren't enough players, George acted as a beater for both teams, hitting the bludger towards anyone who was unfortunate enough to be within range. From what Harry could tell, Ron looked better. Harry sighed, relieved. _Hermione probably forced him to eat and snuck sleeping potions into his dinner for it to happen_, Harry thought, _but at least he's alright. Sure, I don't eat and sleep, but that's normal for me. Ron would eat a buffet every two hours if he could, and sleep the rest of the day_.

Harry went to the sitting room to look out the window again. He loved how the wind in the grass made the hills look like they were swaying, and how the leaves danced in the air like they were performing on a stage. He tried again working on his magical clay. This time, he molded it into a leaf, like the ones outside. He levitated it into the air, then released it and watched it flutter down back onto his hand. He felt closer to being outside. He levitated it once more, then let it flutter down again. It was funny how easy it was to make him happy. Harry was so simple. He wanted to go outside and watch the leaves flutter from the trees. He wanted his friends to be well. He wanted to know little stories about how his parents met, or how they fell in love. Simple little things most people took for granted. He loved watching the leaves.

_Things I love in this world:_

_Watching the leaves in autumn_

He sighed. _Surely there's more to that list than that._ He thought of some more things, and put them on the list.

_Things I love in this world:_

_Watching the leaves in autumn_

_My friends and family (alive or not)_

_Magic_

_Riding a broom_

And that was all he came up with. He was disappointed. He hated more things than he loved. He knew, of course, that this list would get longer like his other had, but still. Harry looked up and saw an otter made of white light. Hermione's voice came from the Patronus.

"Thank you for telling us, Harry. How in the world did you manage to convince You-Know-Who to spare him? Whatever magic you have to do that, I would certainly like to learn it." The otter looked to Harry, and swore it smiled at him. "Snape told us what you were doing, and even what He was doing. We are all rooting for you, Harry. Snape is back at Hogwarts as headmaster. School is going to start two weeks from tomorrow. I know you promised you would be back at school by then, but we all will understand if you need more time. We miss you. Please keep in touch." With that, the otter disappeared.

Harry immediately decided to send one back. "_**Expecto Patronum**_." His Patronus appeared. _"_Hermione, call him Tom. And it's magic, alright. It's called luck and, as Snape once told me, it's always with me. I'm glad Snape is back at Hogwarts, and I will try my best to get there too when school starts. I miss you guys too. How's Ron doing? I hope he's better now. I feel so bad about him not eating. I will keep in touch as much as I can. But please, let's do that through letters." Harry smiled and sent his Patronus to Hermione.

Tom apparated to his study in Harry's hallway. He didn't want to chance Harry seeing him, but he needed to read something to take his mind off Harry's lesson.

"Bring me a book on magical creatures."

A cart rolled over, one random book on it about magical creatures. He picked it up and flipped to a random page.

"_The __Lethifold__, also known as a __Living Shroud__, is a carnivorous and highly dangerous magical creature. Its appearance resembles that of a black cloak roughly half an inch thick, although it gets thicker if the Lethifold has recently digested a victim. It glides along the ground and other surfaces in an unknown form of locomotion in search of its prey, humans. It attacks its prey at night, when the target is asleep, and suffocates and digests it in its bed. The only form of protection against a Lethifold is a Patronus. Other spells will not work (__**1**__)."_

Tom groaned. This wasn't helping. Because when he thought of Patronus, he thought of what he thought of to cast one. And that was a terrible thought. He tossed the book in front of him and it put itself back.

"Bring me a book on magical history."

The cart rolled back over, one book on it again. Tom picked it up and flipped to a random page.

"_Andros the Invincible__ was an Ancient Greek wizard. He was alleged to be the only wizard known to have produced a Patronus the size of a Giant. He has a Chocolate Frog Card. He was also very skilled at wandless spells, being able to conjure a Patronus without a wand. (__**2**__)"_

Tom slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. It stopped before it hit the wall, and put itself away.

"Bring me a book on change of form."

Another book made its way on the cart to him. He picked it up and went to a random page once more.

"_An __Animagus__ (pl. __Animagi__) is a witch or wizard who can morph him or herself into a specific animal at will. It is a learned, rather than hereditary skill, unlike those of a Metamorphmagus. Only very powerful and skilled wizards are able to become Animagi. The process of becoming an Animagus is long and arduous, and has the potential to backfire and cause the transformation to go horribly wrong. Once the initial training is over, an Animagus can change at will at any time, with or without a wand. Animagus forms, like the Patronus Charm, has been said to reflect the personality or feelings of the witch or wizard. (__**3**__)."_

Tom shut the book quietly and tossed it before him. _Obviously, fate is telling me something._ The book floated back up and put itself away. Tom hissed a few curses under his breath before surrendering to those thoughts that so plagued his mind.

_What? That is the first question. What was it? Harry bit my neck, and I found pleasure in it. What…did that mean? It absolutely made no sense whatsoever. But it made me…happy. So I would be…happy…if Potter bit my neck. No, not just bite my neck. He had that look in his eyes that I had loved so much. I suppose that could be more than admiring Harry's evilness. I will not lie to myself about this; I found it attractive. So I would be…happy…if Potter looked attractive and bit my neck. That…is…severely odd._

* * *

><p>Tom rubbed his temples. He knew he would not like thinking of it again, but he needed answers. He closed his eyes. There was Harry, his neon eyes completely cold and evil. Harry was close again; so close, Tom could feel his heartbeat match up with his, and hear them breathe together as one. Harry wrapped his arms around Tom's neck and burried his head in Tom's shoulder. Tom looked back down at Harry, and Harry looked back up. His eyes had changed; now they were large and fearful and wet. Harry's breathing was distressed and his heart raced in his chest. Tom put his arms around Harry's waist and pressed his forehead to his. Tom's vision was full of bright green. He pulled back slightly, and then back in, pressing a vicious kiss to Harry's lips. Harry tried to pull back, but Tom held him tightly, and wouldn't let him escape. Harry let out a small, barely audible whimper and tears slipped down his cheek.<p>

Tom's eyes flew open and he raised his hand that held his wand. "_**Expecto Patronum**_" he tested. Sure enough, white light came from his wand and morphed into a very solid basilisk. It slithered around a bit before disappearing. Tom's hand went back to rubbing his temples. He felt so odd. His heart was _pounding, and he could feel his crotch throbbing. I am aroused, yes, and nervous, it seems, as well as…what? What was it called?_ He knew the answer; it was on the tip of his tongue.

"Bring me a book on… emotions."

The cart once again rolled over to him, a book on top of it. Tom picked it up and flipped to the table of contents and read all the chapters. _Fear. Happiness. Caring. Sadness. Concerned. Embarrassment. Anger. Excitement. Anxious. Paranoid. Grumpy. Depressed. Love. Lust…. That was it. Lust._ He flipped to that page.

"_Lust is similar to love, but it lacks the caring nature (see Caring; also Concerned.). Both feel they need another person in a way they do not feel for others, but Lust is completely sexual and temporary. Lust is completely normal to experience, but must be managed accordingly; otherwise you may find yourself in a mess, of sorts. (__**4**__)"_

_That explains it perfectly._ Tom sighed. He absolutely did not in any way approve of this feeling, but he did feel better that he knew what it was and understood it. He did not ever want to see Harry ever again. He could not imagine seeing Harry the same way after such a thought. _**Accio Draught of Peace.**_He drank the bottle that flew into his hand and drank it. As his thoughts cleared, he apparated to his private meeting room, where Lucius was waiting for him.

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><p><strong>LOOK! Tom is making SO MUCH progress! It may sound bad…but I promise it will get better. :) That was the longest chapter I have written (so far). 11 and a half pages in word! :o<strong>

**I have learned 2 life lessons today. 1: Do not swallow Pop Rocks without having a drink to wash it down. It gets stuck in your throat and it HURTS LIKE FUCK. 2: I write SO MUCH BETTER at 3 in the morning than I do during the day. I have no idea why, I just do. **

**Well, I hoped you liked the chapter! Please review. It would make me SOOOOO happy. :) M'kay, thanks!**

**1. http:/harry . com /wiki/ Patronus_Charm (with no spaces)**

**2. http:/harry . com /wiki/ Andros_the_Invincible (with no spaces)**

**3. http:/harry . com /wiki/ Animagus (with no spaces)**

**4. I completely made that up. Hehehe. **


	17. A Nightmare to Lose

**Chapter 17: A Nightmare to Lose**

**I have never felt as happy as I have writing this story. :) Not even my crappy spacebar can make me mad (though it's pretty close). I hope you guys love this story as much as I love writing it. You guys are amazing. :)**

**YaoiCookies87:**** Yea. I figured the Patronus would make that part sooo much better. :) Hehehe, be patient. They will come soon enough. I promise. ;)**

**Pikachumomma:**** Thank you for commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yay! Slytherin Harry! Hehehe.**

**FireFox Vixen:**** Thank you for commenting! Yes, yes it is an awesome story. :) Thank you.**

**As Darkness Takes Over:**** Thank you for commenting. I'm sorry. I know Lust is more than just sexual desire, but I was referring to when it is felt towards people. I am sorry I didn't make that clear. My bad. :(**

**Threadbare Threnody:**** Thank you for commenting! Yay! Progress! Oh yes. ;) No, Thank YOU for reading my chapter. :D**

**IsisLestrange:**** I'm glad you liked it! And I'm glad you liked Harry teaching Tom the Patronus Charm. WHOOO! GO ME! :) **

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames:**** Thank you. :)**

**Note:**** I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. I only have wild fantasies about Voldemort and Harry being romantically involved while they should be fighting. I blame J.K Rowling for that. :) You should too. **

**WARNING:**** THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; RAPE-ISH SCENES; HOTNESS; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

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><p>"I know this is something I got to do<p>

And it's better for me to let it go now  
>Than to hold on and hurt you<br>I gotta let it burn"

-_Let It Burn_ by Usher

* * *

><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Lucius had been waiting for a few days now to talk Lord Voldemort about something rather important. He apparated to Lord Voldemort's private meeting room and awaited him. There wasn't much to look at in the room, but Lucius seemed content with staring at the plain chairs and table thinking, _What an ordinary room, with such extraordinary purpose._

Lord Voldemort seemed to float into the room, like a ghost. He turned to Lucius, and Lucius bowed. "Good day, My Lord," said Lucius, formally.

"What do you need, Lucius?"

Lucius rose from his bow. "I have some important information for you, My Lord. I wished to tell you a few days ago, when you planned with Draco to get Harry Potter, but the information is not stale."

Lord Voldemort sat down at the table, feeling completely uncomfortable since it was not nearly as cushioned as his usual chairs are. Lucius followed suit and sat in the chair across from Lord Voldemort, also feeling uncomfortable, but not saying a word about it.

"Yes, I recall. Please, Lucius, continue."

Lucius nodded once. "It pertains to the night Dumbledore was murdered. You are aware that my son did not kill him, but Severus, correct?"

"Yes. Severus informed me afterwards."

"Well, My Lord, I learned that not only had Snape intended to kill Dumbledore the whole time, but Dumbledore himself had asked him to do so previously."

Lord Voldemort found this intriguing. His mind immediately found answers. "There are two possibilities to what Severus had in mind, Lucius. The first is that he was working along-side Dumbledore, and killed him to assure I would find him more loyal than he actually was. The other is that he was offered the chance to kill Dumbledore, who thought Severus was on his side, and could not pass up the chance to murder the leader of the Light."

Lucius shifted in his chair a bit. "Which is it, My Lord? The first, I would assume, since he did rid you of your horcruxes."

Considering, Lord Voldemort remained quiet for a moment.

"Lucius," he said, finally breaking the intense silence the room had held. "This is a careful matter. We cannot assume what he did. We must _know._"

"How will we learn of this, My Lord. I was sure you said Severus was in hiding."

"He was. Yet now, he has come out." He planned in his head a minute longer.

"Where is he, My Lord?" Lucius questioned curiously.

"Lucius," Lord Voldemort said, completely ignoring his question. "Go and buy me a bottle, or two, of Veritaserum. We will need it."

Lucius nodded and apparated out, leaving Lord Voldemort by himself. He would dread this later, of course, he knew that, but he called out mentally to Potter.

'_Harry, do you think you would be able to bring Severus here, to my manor?'_

Harry had created a room full of magical clay leaves and was watching them fall when Tom had sent the thought to him. Quite frankly, he did not expect it, and he jumped. The leaves all disappeared at once.

_Uhh…why? You're not trying to kill him, right?_

Tom chuckled. _'Not yet. But things may change later.'_

Harry did not understand. _What? What do you mean by that?_

Tom shared the memory of him being in the meeting room, just a few moments ago. Harry watched, his emotions going crazy. He had witnessed Snape kill Dumbledore, yes, but Dumbledore had _wanted_ Snape to kill him? Had _asked_ for Snape to kill him? And then with why Snape had done it, he immediately thought it had to be the first one. There was no way Snape would've wanted to kill Dumbledore. Harry, of course, understood what Tom wanted to do, since it really did depend on what Snape chose. Harry immediately sent his Patronus to Snape. "Professor, I need you to come to the manor. Meet me in the private meeting room as soon as possible. Tom will be there, but I will make sure he doesn't try to kill or torture you. Please hurry." The stag quickly went away.

Harry ran down the stairs and to the private meeting room. He walked in and Tom and Lucius sat at the table across from one another. He sat down in the chair closest to him. "Snape should be on his way. I sent him a Patronus. So…what's the plan?"

"The plan is…" Tom started, "…that Snape appears, we give him Veritaserum, and ask him which purpose he had. If he answers the first, I will kill him on the spot."

"No, you can't." Harry interjected.

"And if he answers the second," Tom continued, "Then he shall be welcomed back as if he never did anything to betray me."

"Yes, right after I send him through some very painful sights…" Harry mumbled.

Snape received Harry's Patronus message and saw how urgent it was. He had to apparate there, and now. Little did he know just exactly that he was going to walk into the very heart of the greyness he worked to boldly to stay in. Not the safe part, the part where both sides tried to pull you to their side; where you could only please half the world before the other half would punish and hate you; where the bloodiest battles were fought, and most lives were lost. Snape apparated into the room where they awaited him.

"Ah, Severus. How nice to see you again."

"My Lord, what is this about?" He looked around the small room at Lucius, Voldemort, and Harry, all sitting at a table with one seat empty for him to occupy.

"Please, sit. We will discuss it."

Snape sat in the chair carefully. "Alright then."

"_**Petrificous Totalus.**_" Harry shot at Snape. Snape, not expecting Harry to cast a spell at him, did not stop it before he was bound. "I'm sorry, Professor. But you really need to stay and hear this. I know…_we_ know," he corrected, "You would probably try and escape. I know this is the second spell I've cast at you in 3 years. I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Harry." Tom said. Snape didn't know what was going on, but he had a few thoughts (the main one being that Harry had been converted already). "And now, Severus, it seems you have hit a bump in your loyalty to us both. Let me explain, and then you may be unbound to answer our questions. Or more, Harry's questions.

"It has come to our attention…" Voldemort looked to Harry, then to Lucius before his red eyes fell back on Snape. "...that Dumbledore asked _you_ to kill him, instead of Draco, long before you murdered him. We only wonder why. You have come to the point where both sides question your loyalty. Now..." he waved his hand. Snape was released from his full-body bind, but sent into a leg and arm bind instead. Lucius rose, a small potion bottle in hand, and went over to Snape. He grabbed his chin, his mouth opened, and he poured the clear, water-like liquid down his throat. "And just to make sure..." _**Accio Antidote**_. A small bottle flew up from Snape's pocket and into Voldemort's hand. "There we are. Now...Harry."

Harry pushed his chair back and stood immediately, his eyes filled with ferocity. "This is true, then?"

"Yes." Snape answered.

"Why? Why did you kill him?" asked, doing a terrible job of masking his anger.

Snape had to answer. There was no holding back the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. "I did it for you, Harry. Dumbledore asked me to kill him, and I jumped at the opportunity to end his control over you. He had made far too many mistakes over the years with you, Harry. Burdening you immediately with such a large task, then keeping the knowledge you needed from you when you most needed it, forcing you to live with muggles that proved worse than anything Voldemort could inflict upon you. It was a terrible rein of poor choices that lead to your undoing. I know you trusted him, Harry, but he knew what happened to you when you were eight, and every day after that, and yet he kept you there. I begged him to remove you, but he did not listen to me. I could not bear to see you break like that, Harry. Not anymore. He asked me to kill him, and so I did."

The room was silent, as Snape ceased talking, and the three other men were shocked. His answer wasn't the goal of murdering the leader so many looked to, or becoming a better spy. It wasn't Light or Dark. It was protecting the closest thing he would ever have to a son. It was repaying his debt to James, as well as continue his severed love for Lily. It was a grey area.

Harry was the first to speak. "Professor..." he was trying to form words and speak them, but he could only seem to do the first. _Professor, all this time you were protecting me? Professor, he controlled me? Professor, what happened when I was eight? Professor, you were the only one who cared? Harry's eyes were wet. Professor, you're the closest thing I have to a father._

"Well, I'm going to be honest, My Lord. I'm not quite sure where this leaves us." said Lucius, rather quietly.

Tom was lost in thoughts about Severus's confession. It was parts if both sides, he realized. And so, once again, he seemed to slide right under the means of torture, but not quite make it to being truly loyal, and that irritated him. He couldn't punish him for anything, for Harry wouldn't allow it; though he was starting to not very much want to. Yet he couldn't just let him back to be a Death Eater just like that, for the same reason he didn't want to punish him. He helped Harry, always kept him in mind, and would always be loyal to him before anyone else.

'Professor...' Harry tried again, to no avail. The words would not leave his tongue.

"Yes, Harry. I understand it's a lot to take in, especially since you have convinced yourself I don't like you much."

Harry was stunned, like a body-binding spell had hit him. _Professor, why didn't you stop what he did anyway? Professor, why didn't you sneak me away from that horrible house? Professor, why did you treat me so badly if you have really cared this while time?_

"My Lord?" Lucius looked to Tom. He was a bit concerned he had not spoken up yet.

Tom thought of what to do. He could just keep him as an ally, like Harry is. Not quite a follower, not quite an accomplice. It sounded right, but he would have to get rid of his Dark Mark. He knew it would hurt, as it did to receive it, but Severus might agree to it. He obviously was not fully loyal, and so he would be better with it gone. He would still be very helpful to him, as he had been before, and he would still be loyal to Harry, and so Tom could trust him in circumstances in which Harry would not be involved. Yes, it would work for Tom, and he assumed it would work for Severus.

_Professor..._ Harry could not use his voice any longer. He sat back down in his chair, dumbfounded. He could not even think anymore. _Professor..._

"I'm sure it wasn't that hard to believe. My Lord," Snape said. "Harry. Someone speak."

"Severus," Tom began to voice his thoughts. "I originally thought it would be two choices. And depending on which choice it was, I would punish you, or reward you. Seeing as how it was neither choice, I have come to the conclusion that it should do neither consequence. Instead, you shall have your mark removed, and you shall be an ally, not a follower." Snape nodded. He rather liked the idea of not having to be Voldemort's servant any longer. "As for Harry," Tom continued. He looked to him. Harry was still sitting in his chair, wide eyes wet and surprised. Tom remembered his little thought he had earlier, but quickly shunned it. "I'm sure he needs some time to take it in before he reacts... Maybe you will receive a 'Thank You'...or a gift basket...or a large hug." Tom, of course, was joking when he talked about the gift basket, but he wouldn't put it past Harry to try and hug Severus.

"I hope not. I'm not fond of hugs..." Snape said. In his monotone, it was obvious to see did not like hugs, but it was unclear if he really hoped to not get a hug, even if he was under Veritaserum.

Lucius was looking at Harry. He did not understand much of what Severus had talked about. _What happened when Harry was eight? Why did he need to be removed from muggle care? Dumbledore kept information from him when he needed it?_ Everything made as much sense as drinking tea with ham in it. From the outside, it looked very odd, but surely there was a purpose to it only the people inside knew of.

Tom's mind reached out for Harry's. _'Harry. Are you alright?'_

_Yes._ Harry thought. _I'm just...so surprised. I've been trying to say something...but...I don't know._

Tom nodded and looked to Snape. "Severus, I'm afraid Harry is at a loss for words." He waved his hand, and Snape was released from his binds. Snape relaxed in the chair, which was difficult considering the chair was not very comfortable. "My Lord, I know this may be very off subject, but these chairs are horribly uncomfortable." the Veritaserum within Snape said. Lucius nodded in agreement.

"Yes, they are rather stiff. I was thinking of changing them, from the moment I sat down, but I felt it would distract from the situation." Tom stated. "But now, I see we are trying to get away from the situation..." he waves his hand, and the chairs transfigured into large, comfy chairs, all identical in style, but different colors for each person. Lucius's was dark green, Severus's was grey, Tom's was black, and Harry's was bright gold. "Much better."

The room was silent once more. Harry was less tongue-tied, and his mind worked once more, but he still said nothing. Tom was looking at Harry. He was so vulnerable, and still so innocent. Tom couldn't quite get his emotions under control, and so he had to look away from Harry. Lucius and Severus sat quietly, waiting for one of the unspoken leaders of the room to do something. Neither Lord Voldemort or Harry seemed to want to speak, and so the room stayed silent a moment longer.

"If that is all you needed, My Lord, may I be on my way?" Snape asked.

"Of course. Tomorrow afternoon, we shall remove your mark. Meet me here."

"Yes, My Lord." Snape bowed his head and apparated away.

"May I also leave, My Lord, shall I stay?" Lucius asked quietly, though there was really no need to speak up anyway, with the room so silent.

"You may leave if you wish."

"Thank you, My Lord." Lucius apparated away, leaving Harry and Tom.

_And then there were two_, Harry thought. Tom nodded slightly to acknowledge he had heard, but did not reply. Harry stood and walked to the door. When he opened it, the lights in the hallway were dim. He hadn't realized they had spent hours in the room. It all happened so fast.

"It's getting late. I'm going to bed."

"Oh? Are you going to sleep tonight?" Tom asked.

"Yea. I guess." Harry left the room, leaving the door open, intending for Tom to do the same.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I was in Dumbledore's office, but there was an odd red light to it. Dumbledore sat at his desk, not paying any attention to my presence in the room. Then Snape ran in. "Albus!" he yelled "You must remove Harry from muggle care immediately! I will not let you be so foolish with him anymore! This is the third time _THIS WEEK_! You must-"

"I know what I'm doing, Severus. I am aware that he may be suffering through worse things at his home than he would elsewhere. But it crucial the boy stays alive, which will not happen anywhere else."

"You're only keeping him alive so he may die at the right time! He will not make it to that time, Albus. He is at a breaking point, and we need to get him away from those who will cause him harm."

"Enough! Harry will remain with his aunt and uncle. That is my final thought on the matter Severus." Red flames appeared around the room, and the office scene melted away. "He will stay there, no matter what terrible things happen to him. He will stay."

Severus fell to his knees before him. "Albus...please..."

Dumbledore waved his hand, and Severus fell to the ground, unmoving. I tried to run to him, but I was stuck to the floor. Dumbledore looked to me, that evil twinkle in his cold blue eyes. "And Harry, it seems you have gotten off track. I gave you things to accomplish, things to destroy the Dark Lord, and you throw all that away to save the life of someone so unimportant to the war effort? I am ashamed of you, Harry." He lifted his hand and I fell to the floor, a searing pain running through my bones. Tears fell from my eyes and my yells were inaudible. "You have kept to the path I gave you, Harry. The path to greatness. It was the only way to rid the world of Tom Riddle. And now you have failed me, Harry!" The pain increased. I felt my insides ignite scorching hot flames and my skin froze cold. Tears burned my skin as they fell, and holding myself up became extremely difficult. I fell to the floor, one arm wrapped around my stomach, one outstretched for Snape. I needed to save him, more than anything else. I owed him so much, and I couldn't let anything horrible happen to him. I could handle it, instead. I would take it all for him, I just needed him to be alive. I needed him to be the father I once lost so long ago.

Then a swirling blackness erupted from the wall. My pain stopped and Dumbledore was swallowed, as were the flames. The office was in disarray, as papers flew around the room only to be swallowed by the blackness. I stood and ran over to Snape. His limp body was inching over to the blackness. I was so close to reaching him, and keeping him grounded, but as my hand was about to grab his arm, he flew up and into the blackness. The blackness then disappeared. I was alone, in Dumbledore's office.

I woke up, my vision blurry, even if I still had my glasses on. My face was wet, as were my pillow and sleeping shirt. Tom was there, on the edge of my bed, holding my shoulders to the bed as he always did to stop my thrashing. I tried to sit up, but his arms wouldn't let me. He just stared into my eyes with his luminous crimson ones. 'Tom' I whispered, but my words were quickly lost. He pressed his lips to mine. I don't know why, but I tried with all my strength to get away from that. Fresh tears sprang to my eyes. _This is another nightmare_, I told myself. _Another, terrible nightmare_. A small, barely audible whimper came from my throat, and I was suddenly scared I would get beat afterwards for it. He pulled away, and I fought the urge to scream out. Tears made rivers down my face and I shut my eyes tightly. _It was a nightmare_, I told myself. _A nightmare_. But I couldn't wake up.

And Tom was gone. I could have sworn he was just there, but he wasn't there anymore. I got out of bed and grabbed my wand from the bedside table. I walked to my door and opened it. I needed to make a stop somewhere. I bit my lip instinctively, and tasted something odd. It was almost like sweet cinnamon, mixed with something musky. I had no idea what it was, but I rather liked it. I went down the hall, then down the stairs and over to where I guessed the room was. With my luck, the first hallway I chose was it. I opened the door and there were the two small tables, one cluttered with a collection of bottles, the other only two on top of it. I contemplated pulling out the memory of my nightmares. I was still unsure about the whole thing anyway; just forgetting things, leaving empty parts in your mind, it didn't seem like a good idea to me. I picked up a bright white bottle, with a small splotch of green, very gently. So gently, in fact, that it slipped from my hands, and smashed on the floor.

The bright white that was once inside it evaporated, and the glass disappeared, and I saw the really odd dream I once had of a unicorn named Doug. I shook my head. _Didn't really need to remember that._ I looked back at the other bottle. It was mostly pink, with some green and red splotches sewn together like thread. I didn't dare pick it up, for fear it was something I would regret dropping.

I decided not to forget it. I would rather deal with it than run away from it. I turned to open the door, only to find Tom a short distance from it. I'm sure if it hadn't been so dark, he would have seen my furious blush.

'_Harry.'_

_I was just…I had a terrible nightmare…two actually…and I was going to…_

'_Yes, I understand. I came for a similar thing.'_ Tom walked to the door, and I stepped back to let him inside. Tom pulled out his wand and put it to his head, then noticed my table and put it back down. _'Harry, why is there only one bottle there? You had two before, and I thought you just erased your nightmare tonight.'_

_Oh. Well, I…uh… picked one up and dropped it on accident. Then I changed my mind about forgetting my nightmares._

Tom turned to face me. _'Oh? And why did you choose to remember?'_

_I don't know, really… it just feels like I'm running from my problems, when I could be dealing with them. This won't harm me if I remember it, so… I'll just remember,_ I ended lamely.

'_I see…'_ he said before he turned back to his table. He looked down at his many bottles.

_I'm going back to bed then._

'_Pleasant dreams.'_

I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. I had decided to remember my nightmare, and I could already notice it eating my sanity away. I went out into the spacious room. The nightmare haunted my other thoughts, the normal ones. I went up the stairs. Tom pressed his lips to mine, and I tried to get away, the whole event blurry. I walked down to my room. The taste of cinnamon and musk on my lips. I opened my door and plopped onto my bed. _It was real,_ I realized._ It was real, and Tom went to go and forget it too._

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><p><strong>Woah. That was waaaaaaayyy too quick to write. But guess what! I fixed my stupid spacebar! YAY! And not only do I write better at 3 in the morning, I write faster. I wrote a page and a half yesterday, but 6 whole pages last night, then the rest right after I woke up. O.o How odd…<strong>

***Sung to "Monkeys Jumping On the Bed"***

"**Harry and Voldemort lying in a bed  
>Tom kissed Harry and then fled<br>Harry went to forget, but then instead  
>Saw Tom going to erase the thought in his head"<strong>

**-**_**No More Dark Lords running From the Bed**_** by (Of course) ME. ;)**

**Awesome little song, right? I thought so. Please review! I love reviews! M'kay thanks. :)**


	18. Ignition

**Chapter 18: Ignition **

**Hey guys. :) I would have started this right after I finished the last chapter, but I had to write this paper that took FOREVER to write, since I didn't have much to go on, then I had to go to this fancy dinner thing for my parents' anniversary. But don't worry, my fans, for I will always work my hardest to get these chapters out until the story if finished! Then I shall work on another story of some sort, I'm not sure what yet, but that's okay because I'm focused on this story for right now. :) And some people (you know who you are) requested that I have Harry and Tom remember the kiss, and I just couldn't deny such a lovely request. :D**

**Aliengirlguy:**** Thank you! I try to be the best updater I can be. ;)**

**YaoiCookies87:**** Hehehe, I would never make him forget. That would be awful. Sev IS epic like that. Hehehe, maybe sometime soon…**

**Artsycherry:**** Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like my story. :)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames:**** Thank you. :) You like that song, too? It's pretty awesome.**

**xxSnowxxAngelxx:**** Hahaha, I wouldn't be so mean as to make them forget the kiss. This fic loves you too! :)**

**Note:**** I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. I only own this magnificent fantasy story which I have created from J.K Rowling's universe. :)**

**WARNING:**** THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; LOTS OF EVIL AND MISCHIF; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

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><p>"Put on your shades<br>Cause I'll be dancing in the flames

It isn't hell if everybody knows my name"

-_The Edge of Glory_ by Lady Gaga

"There's a fire  
>Burning in my heart<br>Reaching a fever pitch  
>And it's bringing me out the dark"<p>

-_Rolling in the Deep_ by Adele

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I spent the rest of the night being smothered in my thoughts again. I had been here in Tom's manor for almost a week now, but so much had happened, it seemed like a month had passed. I gave in to the urge to go over my problems once more.

_#1: I needed to convert Tom to "The Light" before he converted me to "The Dark"_

_I already had him understand happiness, which was easier than I thought. Who would have guessed the Dark Lord could be happy? Not me. Next are friendship and understanding. Hmmm…friendship first, I guess. Understanding is going to be really difficult. For friendship though…that's tough. I'll just wing it, that's what I normally do._

_#1: 2/3 SOLVED! 1/3__rd__ to go._

_#2: Solved._

_#4 (since I could care less about #3): Tom wouldn't tell me what happened in the meeting._

_This could possibly be solved by becoming his friend. Or by going to an alternate universe._

_#5: TOM FUCKING KISSED ME_

…_Yea…uh…_

_#5: Work in Progress_

I sighed. What the fuck was I going to do about number 5? I had no idea. My instincts told me running in headfirst would not be such a good idea. Tom probably knew that I knew, or maybe he still thinks I think it was a nightmare. Either way, he knew I didn't like it, so why did he do it? It was so weird; it wasn't normal-like weird, it was weird weird. When I kissed Cho, it wasn't like that, or even when I kissed Ginny. This was entirely different, and not just because it was a bloke. I wasn't…well, let's just say I'm open-minded. It was the way it felt; like he had control over me, and I was hopeless against him. True, I had felt that way before with him, since he was the Dark Lord and I was his much younger opponent, but never in that way. It was so terribly familiar somehow though, but I couldn't quite remember how exactly.

I sat in the sitting room once more, watching the leaves flutter in the wind that came around in the night. They flew left, then right, in circles, and at random. I wished I could be that careless, and free, to just flutter along with the wind, not caring where I end up. Of course, that would never happen, not even after the war is long over, and I'm older than dirt, if I make it that far. _If._ That was such a short word to have such a large meaning. It meant I could live, or maybe I wouldn't. It meant I could be successful, or I might fail miserably. _If_ something good happened. _If_ my life was a living hell. There was no guarantees, just guesses, and instinct, and hope. It sucked. I wanted to know what would happen. I wanted to be assured how long I would have, and what would stand in my way from being like those leaves. _But life doesn't work like that,_ I told myself.

I wondered where those hills were. Surely the window was enchanted, because I imagine being the outside of the manor would have dark, bare trees, and evil creatures lurking about everywhere. That's where villains usually live, of course, in the stories. This was a lot like a story. I was the hero everyone needed. I ran into battle without having second thoughts, brave and full of courage, risking my life to save those I love. Then the villain swoops in, more difficult than any other opponent, and I must find a way to defeat him and save the world. But now, the story was really messed up. The villain and the hero working together? The hero planning out what he does before acting? That was a terrible story. I looked back to the hills, and wished that maybe, _if_, I could be in a different story; one with hills, and leaves, and grasses that swayed in the breeze, not a care in the world.

Then I was outside, by the hills, lying down in the grass, feeling its dew on my arms, breathing the fresh air, and watching the leaves flutter around me. I reached out my hand to catch a bright orange leaf. When it touched my hand, it burned where my fingers hand touched it, spreading until the whole leaf was nothing but ash. The grass underneath me grew hot, and a fire started. I jumped up and tried to get away from it, my footprints catching fire as well. The fire grew larger and hotter. I ran to the tree and tried to climb it, but it caught fire as well, igniting all the leaves that had yet to fall. I ran away, as far as I could. I looked behind me for a second and saw the hills alive with the sinister fire. I tripped and fell to the ground. My glasses fell off, and I patted the ground looking for them. Blurry red and orange came into my vision from the places I had touched. I found my glasses and shoved them onto my face. The ground where I had touched was on fire, but I didn't bother to move. The flames spread, and when they reached me, I felt nothing. They did not burn me, but the hills I had once seen from afar. I wanted to get away from here, to spare the rest of the hills that I had not yet touched, but it was too late. Everything was engulfed in bright red and orange flames, and soon it was all I saw. The flames danced around me, mocking my ability to do nothing to save the once beautiful hills.

I bolted upright. _Bloody hell, I fell asleep again._ I put my hand to my forehead. _Shit!_ I pulled it away. I was burning up. I picked up my wand from the floor, intending to Accio some water. I opened my mouth and moved my throat to speak, but nothing came out but groans and searing pain. I stood up quickly, knowing something was wrong. I began to make my way to the door, but my world became spotted with black, and started to spin. I toppled down to the floor wildly, barely keeping my head from hitting the floor. _Something is wrong, terribly wrong._ The front of my brain burned. I dragged myself across the floor to reach the door. When it was close enough, I twisted the knob and continued dragging myself to my room. Every second it took only became worse. I was halfway to my door, and my entire head burned prickly, metal needles. I dragged myself further. I was close enough to reach the door. I reached out and twisted the knob, but it was locked. I didn't think, everything was instinctive; I grabbed my wand mouthed words, then a white light shot from my wand. After that, the world was collapsing in on me. I didn't have the energy to curse; I just collapsed in front of my door.

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I hadn't the slightest idea what to do after that. Harry had come to forget what I had done, as had I, but he decided against it. It left me in (for lack of a better word) an awkward situation. I could forget that the kiss ever happened, risking what would happen if Harry asked about it and learned I had chosen to forget it, or I could remember it, and risk what would happen if Harry asked about it and learned I had chosen to remember it. I despised these traps he could set up so simply. And this time, there was no middle ground. There were two choices I had to pick from. Or three really. I could remember and tell him I forgot, but what good would that do? I stood in the room a while debating this. It was horribly evil of him to do this to me.

I finally decided against it. I would rather give Harry a straight answer, and see his face become furious with me from taking advantage of him like that. I went back to my room, and lay back on my bed. It was a rather large bed, and so I had to scoot all the way to the center. I laid myself down and fell asleep rather quickly; I was dreamless.

Opening one eye, I saw nothing but blackness. Obviously, it was still late. My mind throbbed. I absently summoned a pain-killing potion, drank it, and laid myself back down, feeling the pain leave. I was just lying there, with my eyes closed for a while, waiting for the pain to be gone completely. As it did so, I was left with a small tingling at the back of my head. _Insufferable brat. What is going on now?_ I sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I scooted off my bed, taking my time. When I reached the edge of the bed, the tingling stopped. I debated going back to sleep, but felt Harry might need a calming draught for his nightmares. _**Accio Draught of Peace**_. The bottle flew into my hand, I stepped away from my bed, and out my door. I shuffled down the hallway, into my large meeting room, and up the stairs. I rubbed my forehead and went down the dark hallway. _Harry_, I thought, reaching for his mind, but I couldn't find it. I looked to his door, and stopped where I stood.

It may have been dark, but I could still make out Harry's crumpled figure in front of it. My eyes widened in horror. _What has happened?_ I approached Harry slowly, cautioning myself to an attack of any kind, but nothing revealed itself. I kneeled next to Harry, and lifted his head. The darkness would not allow me to see his features. _**Lumenat **__(__**1**__)_. The balls of light in the hallway brightened considerably, and I looked over Harry. He seemed to be well, if not his face flushed a bit. The unfortunate part of being a Dark Lord is not being able to cast healing spells very well. I did not have the slightest clue what had happened. _I should have gotten here sooner._

There was a crack, and the air parted and Severus appeared. He quickly kneeled on the other side of Harry.

"What happened, My Lord?"

"I have no idea. Severus, why are you here?"

"Harry sent his Patronus to me, but there was no message. I figured either something was wrong, or he found it would be fun to irritate me in the middle of the night."

Snape cast a spell at Harry, and he was engulfed in a blue light that swirled around his limp body. Severus concentrated, looked over the various parts that light swirled around.

"He has a fever, as well as some burns on his hands, his feet, and oddly, his eyelids." Severus announced.

"What did this?"

"Some kind of curse, I assume. Or maybe a potion of some sort. Nothing I have heard of."

I looked at Harry, his eyes closed and face flushed. He looked more peaceful than I had ever seen him. _Have I done this to him? That kiss had been so long ago, or had it?_ I doubted a kiss could cause burns on hands, feet, and eyelids. _But then what could it be?_

"How do we know what did this, Severus?"

Severus looked over Harry, that worried glint to his eyes. I had never seen him like this, but then again, I had also not really cared to notice how he acted around Harry. "I don't know, My Lord."

I stood. "I shall go and do some research, then. No curse I know would have such specific burn areas, and I know many curses. It may be some potion that is very old." I walked down the hallway, intent on reaching the study, when a glimpse of something caught my eye. I turned to find it, and saw a window looking out to the hills. The door to the sitting room was wide open. I curiously stepped inside and was not prepared to find the room burnt and in disarray. The fireplace with black glass was lit with a rather large fire, the couch had blackened marks on it in the shape of a shadow, the paintings had holes burned into them. It was a disaster.

"Severus, I may have some idea as to what might have happened."

Severus gently laid Harry's head down, and quickly stood and joined me in the doorway. His eyes grew wide, but his face did not show he understood what occurred.

"That fireplace, Severus, is charmed to light when one thinks of it doing so. Harry must have thought of some sort of massive fire, and so the fireplace made one."

"We must get him Ito medical care immediately."

"I don't believe that is a good idea, Severus. What will we tell them? I cannot go."

"My Lord, this is urgent. No one knows who Tom Riddle is. There only questions will be about Harry, and we can tell them the truth. Now, we must go." Snape went back to Harry, and was about to pick him up.

I levitated him up, and into my arms before he was able to. Snape just put a hand on my shoulder, and we disapparated.

A blur of colors, and we were in St. Mungo's Hospital. Severus immediately went to the front desk.

"Miss, we have a burned boy and he needs medical attention now." he stated urgently.

"I'm sorry, sir, but all of our doctors are busy or on break."

"On break?" he asked incredulously. "We have Harry Potter and he has been severely burned by enchanted flames and you're telling your doctors are ON BREAK?"

The woman's eyes widened and her voice grew quiet. "Harry Potter? I'll page the doctors immediately. Let me have a nurse get him a room..." she looked over Snape's shoulder and over to me, where I held an unconscious Savior in my arms. She quickly looked back down to her phones and computer and began pushing numbers and clicking furiously. Various shapes of light ejected from the back of the computer and ran off into every direction.

A nurse sprinted over to us and practically dragged me down a plain white hall and into a terribly boring room with a white hospital bed in it. I laid Harry down on it carefully, making sure not to hurt him any more than he already was. The nurse cast several spells and Harry was wrapped in a rainbow of swirling lights. She shook her head and mumbled things to herself under her breath. A male came into the room wearing the traditional doctor attire, immediately asking questions to the nurse.

"How's his condition? What's his heart rate...?"

Another doctor came into the room, and another, all talking to the nurse, who was desperately trying to answer all the questions thrown at her.

"His heart rate is... Well he seems to have... maybe we should..."

"May I be of assistance?" I interrupted. They all stared at me, for they were not aware Severus and I were in the room.

The first doctor walked over to us, and the other two continued harassing the nurse with their questions. "Yes. First off, who are you?" he looked at me, then to Severus. "Both." he added.

"I am his school's headmaster, and very close...family friend." Severus said. I couldn't tell if he was still shocked about Harry, and losing his speech, or having a difficult time saying he was a friend of his family.

"And I..." I started. _What would I say? Something simple_. "...am just a close friend of his."

The doctor nodded. "How long has he been unconscious?"

"About half an hour" Severus answered. I was thankful he had kept time, because I truly had not been.

"And what caused this?"

"Well, we think it may be a magical burn from an enchanted fireplace that lost control of its flame." Severus glanced at me to confirm what he said to be correct. I nodded slightly. The horrible smell of this place was making me uncomfortable. It was familiar somehow, but I couldn't place what brought that feeling on.

"Has he been through something traumatizing that may cause him to be unstable?"

Severus gave the doctor a look; one that said _'of-course-you-imbecile-he's-the-bloody-boy-who-lived'_. "Not that isn't normal." he said at last.

The doctor nodded and wrote everything down on a clipboard he summoned. He released the clipboard and rejoined the other two doctors as the clipboard floated out of the room. No longer feeling comfortable standing, I sat in a horribly awful chair that made me want to stand up again. I looked to the doctors, bustling about in a frenzy, and decided it would be alright to transfigure the chair into something more comfortable. I did not have my wand with me though.

"Severus, may I borrow your wand? It seems I have left mine at my...home."

Severus gave me a look, different than the one he gave the doctor, that said _'what-are-you-up-to-Harry-is-hurt-and-that-is-our-concern-right-now'_, then pulled his wand from his robes. I took it and sighed. It was a terrible wand for transfiguration, I could tell. I preformed the incantation and waved the wand for show, and the chair changed underneath me. I sunk into my usual comfort and was relieved. I handed Severus his wand back. He seemed to understand why I used his wand (for wandless and wordless transfiguration is a great feat to accomplish since only very powerful wizards may do so, as with all wandless wordless magic), but he didn't seem to understand why it was necessary right now. I simply ignored him and pointed my attention at the doctors running amuck.

One doctor pulled out his wand and began what I assumed was treatment. Harry's hands were buried in a light blue light. Another doctor left the room, and the first doctor was still talking to the nurse. The other doctor came back into the room, wand in hand. He cast more light blue light onto Harry's feet. The first doctor nodded to the nurse and left the room. The nurse looked so shaken by all the hassle. She walked over to us and tried a smile, that really showed too many teeth.

"Harry will be fine. It was no magical fire, thankfully. He just has some burns that we can take care of quickly. He should be back fighting the Dark Lord in no time."

I smiled, sincere on the outside, evil on the inside. How shocked she would have been to know she had just said that to the Dark Lord himself. She would look worse than Harry after he has a nightmare. I nodded and thanked her (for appearances). She nodded back and left the room as the first doctor returned with a wand. He asked questions to the other two, and then covered Harry's eyes in the same sky blue light as the others.

We waited for a while, the nurse checking in every so often. The morning grew, but I hadn't noticed any time had gone by at all until I went outside to escape the horrible smell. It was fairly bright outside now, and I leaned against the wall next to the front doors of the hospital. Severus would not leave Harry's side, so I was alone. I watched people walk by, talking to their friends, or themselves, on their way to wherever their destination was, not noticing anything else around them. I had once hoped to better these people, but hope had long left my life.

I felt a buzz in the back if my head, and then a tingle, and immediately went back inside to Harry's room. Nothing had seemed to change. The doctors still worked on his burns, and Severus watched them intently. I walked over to Severus.

"Severus, I..." I silently cast a quick silencing charm around us. I did not want anyone becoming suspicious. "I can feel the connection with Harry again. He is, more or less, conscious."

Severus nodded. I removed the silencing charm and went to sit in my comfy black chair in the plain white, horrible smelling hospital room. The doctor working on his hands finished his spell and left the room, leaving the left side of Harry's bed empty. I was contemplating going to stand there, but Severus was there already. He looked down at Harry, that worried look that had never left his eyes becoming more prominent. I could feel Harry's mind, sluggish and unprotected. I reached out to it.

_'Harry?'_

Harry's eyes twitched under their cover of light, but there was nothing more. I sighed. The day was passing so much slower now. It would be an eternity before tomorrow came.

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

Bright, blue light shone through my eyelids. I didn't know where I was, but something told me I had never been here before. I tried to open my eyes, but they merely twitched. It took so much energy just to do that, I felt like I could fall unconscious again. I didn't move anymore. It took too much energy; energy that I didn't currently have. I heard a whisper in my ear. I couldn't make out what it was saying, but it was soft and comforting. The blue light left, and white light took its place. I felt so much better now that the blue light was gone. My mouth twitched into a small smile.

Voices in the room spoke to each other in muffled voices, and I only caught a few words.

"Severus...moving...told you...better."

"I see...you think...could take...really needs...rest."

I knew those voices, yes. And I wanted to see the ones making them. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I closed my lips, tasting the horrible smell of sterile hospital. I was in a hospital. _Bloody hell._ It all came back to me. I had been in the sitting room, and I had a nightmare, then I was burning, and I had to drag myself to my door. _Which was locked_. I would have to tell Tom not to lock my door anymore.

"Rest?" Tom said. "Harry doesn't sleep at night. What makes you say he needs rest? He stays up all night. And if it's not that, it's a nightmare. That boy runs on practically no rest."

"He needs to let his body reorient itself, My Lord, and that will not happen if you wake him."

_Who ever said I was asleep?_ I thought.

_'Oh, Harry. You are awake. Good.' _"He's already awake, Severus."

"Oh really? Then why do I not see him moving at all? He looks no different than before."

_I'm not sure I want to open my eyes. I can already tell I'm in a hospital. Just take me home before I have to talk to the doctors and nurses about what happened. Or even worse, about being famous._

"He doesn't want to see the hospital. I don't blame him. It's a dreadful place with a horrid smell."

"Harry will wake up regardless of where he is. It is not his choice. I do have some smelling salts somewhere..."

That didn't sound good. I already didn't like the smell of hospital. I don't think my nose would appreciate smelling salts.

"That's alright, Professor." I managed, quiet and scratchy. I heard footsteps and then a shadow cast itself over me. "I'm awake. I just feel like...the energy was sucked out if me."

_'That's quite alright, Harry. Do not waste your breath if you do not wish to.'_

_So what happened? What did you tell the doctors? _

_'The fireplace in the sitting room. You didn't know it was enchanted to light a fire when you think for it to. Your hands, feet, and eyelids were burned in its fire._'

_Oh. That would make sense._

_'We told the doctors most of the truth.'_

_Most?_

_'Well, Severus said he was family friend. I said I was a close friend of yours.'_

_I don't know about what Snape said, since I don't really have family. Wait, they bought that?_

_'Yes, in fact, they did. And I'm afraid Ms. Rita Skeeter did as well. She stopped by and asked us for an interview, which we both gladly declined.'_

I didn't have enough energy to groan._ Really? Oh great. I can only imagine what terrible headline will show up in the newspaper. Anyway...you told them you were my close friend?_

_'Yes.'_

_Are you my close friend?_

_'Dark Lords don't have friends.'_

_No, but normal people do, which is what you are, Tom. Well I'm not sure about the normal part, but I'm not quite normal either, so..._

Tom didn't respond.

_So are you?_

_'I'm not sure how to answer that, Harry. I've never had a ...friend... before.'_

_Then I can be your first. _I smiled. _It's okay, nothing has to change or anything. We already kind of understand each other._

_'Harry. You are odd.'_

_Yes, I know. _

"Harry, what are you two talking about?" Snape asked.

I smiled bigger. "Tom said he's my friend."

I could sense Tom being annoyed, but he said nothing to deny it. This was a good day. I don't care if I had burns on my hands, and feet, and eyelids, and I was in a hospital bed, not able to conjure enough energy to open my eyes. It was a good day, and I wouldn't let anything ruin it.

* * *

><p><strong>YAY! Harry is sooooo close to fixing his number 1 problem! But will he be able to get the last part? And will he say anything to Tom about the kiss? What is happening to Hermione and Ron? You may find out all this and more NEXT CHAPTER! (Which may come out anytime between later today and tomorrow. Probably tomorrow. I love writing at 3 in the morning. I get so much more done that way. I wrote almost this entire thing last night. I'm not sure I ever want to write in the day again. :o)<strong>

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! I would say I liked writing it, but I barely remember writing it, I was so tired. Hehehe. Please review! M'kay, thanks!**

**1. It means "Light Ball" in Latin. I figured Lumos wouldn't work with balls of light lighting the room, so I had to make up something. :)**


	19. Trail of Flowers

**Hey guys! Just finished the last chapter and I started on this one already. Hehehe, but I have no idea what I'm going to make happen in this chapter yet. I'll figure it out as I go. :) I promise it will be amazing as always. **

**YaoiCookies87:**** Lol. I'm glad you liked the questions at the end of my last chapter, and that Tom and Harry remembered about the kiss. :) Yay Tom and Harry being friends! But will they be friends for much longer? ;) **

**Aliengirlguy:**** Thanks. Harry unfortunately wasn't cursed by Dumbledore, though that would be a good idea…I may find a way to work it in…maybe :) **

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames:**** Thanks. Lol, I like that part too. **

**AidenVanHelsing:**** Thank you for reviewing! :) And saying my story is amazing.**

**Sneaky lunatic spy:**** Thank you for the advice, I'll be sure to do that. I'm glad you liked the part about the kiss. :D I haven't heard of that song, but I will check it out. Oh good! So I'm not the only person who stays up ridiculously late to write better! :)**

**Threadbare Threnody:**** :) You're welcome. And I feel stupid. I knew that wizards call them healers, but I had completely forgotten, my bad. Hehehe, of course Ron would call them crazy. **

**I read and reread Tom's POV like a bagillion times to make sure it was PERFECT. So once you get passed Harry's super long POV, then you can get to the good stuff. ;)**

**Note:**** I do not own Harry Potter, of any of its characters. If I did I would be rich and not broke, like I am currently. I would own a metallic lime green Camero, as well as a lavishly decorated mansion, and own a public library so I could own a bunch of books, then as soon as I finished reading them, others could read them. I would enjoy life as a successful author and write books only at night and sleep during the day. That is my dream. Sadly, that is nowhere near close to how I actually live, but that is alright, because it may be someday in the (much later) future. :)**

**WARNING:**** THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; AWESOME AND HEARTFELT SCENES OF BEAUTIFUL LOVE BETWEEN HARRY AND TOM; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

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><p>"Boy, I think about it every night and day<br>I'm addicted, wanna jump inside your love  
>I wouldn't want to have it any other way<br>I'm addicted and I just can't get enough"

-_Just Can't Get Enough_ by The Black Eyed Peas

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I got to leave the hospital that day, thank Merlin. When the healers were fixing me, the nurse, Ms. Pones, was already working on the paperwork to get me out. It was around after noon, and the rest of the day was falling fast. I was so fucking happy. Not only had I become friends with Tom, but apparently I had also managed to destroy the paintings in the sitting room, which meant I would get to watch someone paint them again, as well as sent a wordless Patronus to Snape right before I passed out. Snape was right; I do have luck on my side. I did absolutely nothing to make these great things happen, but they happened anyway.

_#1: I needed to convert Tom to "The Light" before he converted me to "The Dark"_

_Happiness, check. Friendship, check. Understanding…I'll get on that._

_#1: So close to being solved…but not quite_

_#2: Solved_

_#4: Tom wouldn't tell me what happened in the meeting._

_I suppose this can be my next order of business. Surely there can be a way to force him into telling me. Maybe...if I could…but I don't know if he would go for that…maybe…_

_#4: Plan, but don't know how well it will work_

_#5: TOM FUCKING KISSED ME_

…_Still not quite sure what to do with this…well, he is my friend now, so maybe he could just tell me, then we could just forget it afterwards…yea…_

_#5: Play Friendship Card (if that doesn't work, it's back to square one)_

I sighed. My last two problems were still such a mess. I was sitting on the floor in the room Tom and I used for lessons. Snape was standing by the doorway. He hadn't let me out of his sight since I had gotten back from the hospital (except when I went to change my clothes, of course). Tom had told me to wait for him here, but he didn't say why, and there wasn't time for me to ask him. I just sat on the floor, molding my magic clay into a flower. Snape watched me curiously.

"Harry, what are you doing?"

"Making a flower." I lifted it in my hand to show him.

"What is that?" He sounded completely uninterested in his monotone, but I figured he probably was interested, or he wouldn't have asked.

"I'm actually not sure. I was bored one day, and so I was trying to use wordless and wandless magic to make a butterfly, but it didn't go so well, and I made this. It's kind of like clay. Watch."

I brought the ends of my petals together and carefully pinched them, so they would hold that position, but not mash together. I held out my hand and told the flower to bloom. It petals made of light opened slowly, like real flowers, and revealed much more detail than I had molded. It floated out of my hand and then twirled and spun until it hit the floor.

Snape watched it and smiled ever so slightly. There was no going back to being and old grumpy potions master now.

"Harry, you remind me so much of your mother. She used to make flowers bloom all year, even in the winter. That is how she found out she was a witch."

I smiled. I imagined my mother running through a grassy field, a trail of flowers blooming behind her. It made me even happier. "Well that's better than how I found out I was a wizard. Many weird things had happened my whole life, of course, but it wasn't until Hagrid knocked down the door to that grubby little shack and told me that I even considered the idea."

I lifted the flower back up and let it go once more, watching it spin back down to the floor. It was the equivalent to seeing a real flower, but without the perks of being outside. I looked over to Snape and saw he had pressed his hands into a ball. He concentrated a moment, then opened his hands. A bumble bee flew out and over to my flower. The bee was very real looking as it landed right into the middle of my flower. I got an idea. I tossed the flower into the air and it hovered there, bee and all. I made more magic clay, and I molded it to look very layered and thick, like a cocoon. The cocoon lifted from my hands, and began to move. After a few seconds, a hole was made, then a butterfly made its way out, spreading out its wings for the first time. It was a monarch, that was plain to see in its wing design. It flew off, leaving the thin cocoon behind. Tom walked into the room, and as soon as he saw everything, he stopped and watched. The butterfly fluttered over to my flower, and the bee buzzed off when it landed.

"Having a bit of fun I see."

"Sorry. We were bored waiting for you." I pulled the flower and butterfly back into my hands and closed them. When I opened them, little wisps of light were all that was left. Snape's bumblebee buzzed around a bit longer before it returned to Snape's hands and disappeared. "So what were we waiting for anyway?"

Tom produced a small box out of this pocket. He placed it on the floor in the middle of the room and waved his hands apart from each other. The box grew and grew until it was a large trunk of some sort.

"I hope you don't mind, Harry, but I took the liberty to roam around in your thoughts while you were unconscious."

_Uh…_ "Okay. What did you find?"

"An excellent way to train with that new spell you taught me. This is a form of boggart. The difference between this one and the one you trained with in your third year are that you may choose what form this one takes, and how many of them there are."

"You actually want to train with the spell I taught you?" I smiled. This could only get better.

"Well, yes. If I were to get stuck in Azkaban, I would need the means to escape without Dementors attacking me, or others."

"Alright then. Let's get started."

I stood and moved to be in front of the boggart. I pulled my wand from my pocket and nodded at Tom. He waved his hand, and the locks on the boggart were released. A Dementor popped its head out of the opening, and pulled itself out, followed by about twenty others, all coming towards me. I thought of my mother running through a field of beautiful green grasses, a trail of white daisies behind her. She laughed and danced around the field, and before long, her flowers were everywhere.

"_**Expecto Patronum.**_" A white light shot from my wand and my stag appeared before me, a barrier flying from it and towards the Dementors every time my heart would beat. The Dementors back up right back into the opening of the boggart, and the lid closed and locked.

"Very nice job, Harry." Snape said.

Tom nodded his agreement. "I shall go, now."

"Okay, but only start with one." I cautioned him. He could barely cast it, and I didn't want him taking any chances.

Wand at the ready, Tom waved his hand and the locks to the boggart released once more. Two Dementors came out of the opening and floated towards Tom. _Tom, that's one too many,_ I thought.

"_**Expecto Patronum"**_ he said, but no light came from his wand, and I grew worried. The Dementors made their way over to him, and they were getting too close for comfort. "_**Expecto Patronum**_" he said once more, but to no avail. The Dementors inhaled, and Tom's happiness was sucked away ever so slowly.

"_**Expecto Patronum!**_" I yelled. A furiously bright light came from my wand and banished the Dementors back into the boggart. I went over to where Tom lay on the ground, close to consciousness. "Severus, get me some chocolate." Severus summoned some chocolate as he walked over to where I was, and pressed it into my outstretched hand. I looked over Tom, feeling around in my mind for his.

He was alright, just a little disoriented, I sensed. I helped him sit up, which he swatted at me for. I offered him the chocolate in my hand, and he looked at it suspiciously.

"What is that for?"

"It really helps to eat after being attacked by a Dementor. It's chocolate. Chocolate sends endorphins to your brain, which make you happy."

"I see…" he took it and bit a small piece off. "So this counteracts the effects of them?"

"Yea. Kind of."

I watched him eat a bit more, then cast it off, letting it levitate in the air. He stood and faced the boggart once more. "Let's try again."

"Only one this time, Tom." I warned him. I really did hope he would listen. It was terrible watching Dementors attack people, sucking away their happiness until they are gone.

Tom unlocked the boggart and this time, thankfully, only one Dementor came out of the opening. Tom stood still a moment, then raised his wand. "_**Expecto Patronum.**_" A great white light came from his wand and morphed into a basilisk, ready to attack. The Dementor drew closer, but the basilisk hissed at it and released a circle of light, identical to a shield, at it. The Dementor was struck and fled back into the boggart.

"That was great, Tom." I encouraged.

"Yes, indeed, My Lord." Snape agreed.

Tom worked on that for a few hours. Sometimes his Patronus would work, other times it wouldn't work at all, and I would have to act before they got to him. Snape had kept a record of how many times it worked and didn't work.

"You have a 45 percentage rate of success, My Lord." Snape said when we had finished. "The spell works less than half the time."

Tom was angered, I could feel it, but he did not respond. I knew it was probably thinking of something happy that was troubling him. I thought of what could make Tom happy. _Well, what makes me happy? Friends, family. But Tom doesn't have family, and I'm his only friend. Can I do something to make him happy? He doesn't really like things at all; he has an outcast look on the world. Maybe if I could take him to those hills in the enchanted window, he would see in color. But that would have to wait until later._

"My Lord, it is time." Snape said. Tom sighed and apparated away.

"Why did he apparate? It's just down the next hall." I asked Snape, but he too had apparated.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room and down the next hallway. It didn't take long at all before I opened the door to the private meeting room where Tom and Snape were awaiting me. I quickly took a seat in my gold chair and watched as Snape got on one knee before Tom.

"Severus," Tom started, "You have been a fine servant in the past, but now your services shall not be put to waist, as I free you of this bond." Tom outstretched his hand and Snape placed his left forearm into it. With his other hand, Tom ran his fingernails down Snape's arm, leaving bloody cuts behind them. Snape's face distorted in pain, and it took all my willpower not to get up and stop this. _It has to be done,_ I told myself, _or else Snape will still be a Death Eater._ Tom's nails stopped at Snape's wrist, and blood dripped down from the wounds, but on closer inspection, the Dark Mark was gone. Tom let go of Snape's hand and Snape immediately grabbed his wand.

"_**Episky.**_" His blood cleared and his wounds were bathed in a blue light. When the light left, only slight marks remained from the clawing. Snape stood. "Thank you, My Lo-" he stopped and realized his habit would end now as well. "Tom" he corrected.

Tom sighed and waved him off. "Yes, you may go now, Severus."

"Of course." Severus said. He looked to me, then disapperated.

"It is time for dinner, Harry." Tom said as he walked out of the room. I followed after him.

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><p>I didn't feel all that hungry, but I decided to eat some so Tom wasn't griping at me for not eating enough. When I finally pushed my plate away, I sat, not knowing what to do as I waited for Tom to finish. A little though floated around the front of my mind. <em>Number five…ask him…number five…you must know…<em>

"Hey Tom?" I asked without realizing I would.

"Yes, Harry?"

I hesitated. _Did I really want to know why he kissed me?_ _Absolutely._ "Last night...after my nightmare...did you…kiss me?" I'm sure I was blushing up a storm.

"That depends. Do you think I did?" Tom asked in response.

"I'm pretty sure you did. So...why did you?" This was getting awkward fast.

Tom didn't reply. Instead he continued to eat his dinner. I could feel my face grow hot. Why wasn't he answering? Had I imagined the whole thing and he was ignoring me because it was such a weird thought? _I hope not…that would be terrible…and I could absolutely forget being his friend…_

Tom pushed his plate away. I had been looking down at the table, distracted by my thoughts, but now I looked up at him. He showed no sign of anything, no emotion whatsoever, and I found that distressing. I waited for him to say something, but he did not. My nerves were getting the better if me. _What if I didn't want to hear the answer? What if...If..._ There was that word again. The one that didn't give me any hints as to what would happen.

"Harry, I am going to be completely honest with you" _'for once'_.

I'm sure if my face wasn't red before, it was now. "Okay." I said quietly.

"I couldn't help myself." Tom said simply, like it was blatantly obvious that he couldn't help but press his lips to mine, just like he had to breathe.

I just stared at him in awe, but he would not meet my eyes. "What do you mean by that?" I asked incredulously.

"I..." he started, but hesitated a moment, "I simply felt the need."

That wasn't any better of answer. I was getting impatient. I still wasn't sure if I really wanted to know, but it was too late to back out now. "You just felt the need to kiss me right after I had been having a nightmare and freak me out beyond belief?"

Tom met my eyes for a moment. There was something in them that was different from his face. His face was a mask, but his eyes revealed emotion. They were a deep maroon color that reminded me of velvet. He looked back down at the table were his plate had once been. I hadn't noticed the house elves take our plates away, and I don't think he had either.

"Exactly."

That was not the answer I was expecting. Not that I was really expecting an answer at all, but if I had, that definitely was not it. "What?" Tom was starting to look uncomfortable, even in his extremely comfy throne. Some part inside me switched into a different mode. "Tom, I don't understand. You're completely avoiding explaining anything to me. Do you just plan to leave me in the dark about everything? I want to know why." I sounded much more confident in trying to find the answer than I felt. _Story of my life_.

"You really want to know why, Harry?" he looked at me, a look in his eyes that caught me off guard. "I did it because I saw you so weak and vulnerable. Seeing you in such a state brought out something, and I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know, as you do Harry. I wanted to know what it would be like to have control over a being I knew I would never be able to." His eyes were piercing and terribly intimidating, something so oddly familiar to me, yet so completely foreign.

My eyes widened. It was shocking how much he had said to me, how much of himself he had revealed. I looked back down at the table, trying to understand what he had said. His hand grabbed my chin and pulled it so I was forced to look into his velvet eyes, so unexplainably soft. His hungry lips made their way onto mine. I shut my eyes tightly. _I didn't like this_, I told myself, but there was something that kept me from pulling away, even though I could easily do so.

He parted and released my chin.

"What the hell?" I said. I was probably red faced again, though for a different reason. Tom acted as if nothing had happened, just sitting in his chair. That made me angry that he would do such a thing, but my disgust for a small part of my brain overcame it. I hadn't pulled away, but I easily could have. _Why hadn't I?_

I grabbed my wand from my pocket and apparated to my room. I really needed to think this over, alone. I put up a silencing charm so I could scream and let out my anger, as well as brought my mind as far away from Tom's as possible. I didn't want him intruding. I threw my wand on the bed. _How could I let him control me so easily?_ I was so powerful, as a person and a wizard, yet I was so weak against him. I always had been. It infuriated me that he was so terribly strong when I was so defenseless.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed with rage. I wasn't talking to Tom. I knew who I was talking to subconsciously, but the name was lost somewhere in the process. "I HATE YOU!" I grabbed a silk pillow from the bed and pitched it to the other side of the room. It hit the wall with a soft thud. Tears came into my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. "I hate you!" I sat on the edge of my bed, my emotions done with their chaotic rampage. Overwhelming sorrow came over me. 'I hate you.' I whispered softly. The tears stung my eyes now, but I still wouldn't let them fall.

I laid down on my bed, legs hanging off the edge like I had been sitting. My thoughts swam around in a pool of confusion. I let them mingle with each other freely and come to their own conclusions; it was the greatest way to find out exactly how I truly felt on a subject, and what my instincts told me to do about it. _That was absolutely disgusting. I hate that...but I stayed in for it, so I must have liked it. It was disgusting, but I liked it...why was it so wrong?_ I couldn't remember. _If it's not wrong, then what makes it disgusting? He took advantage of me, that's what makes it disgusting...but did he really take advantage of me if I could have easily gotten away but decided not to? No...but it was so wrong. He wasn't supposed to do this._

I thought of the last time he had kissed me; the taste afterwards. I licked my lips. They tasted the same as they had then. I hadn't known then it was him, but I had told myself I had liked it. I still did, I couldn't deny that. _I liked it, but it was wrong. He tasted so good, but his lips should never have touched mine._ Those were my conclusions.

I sat back up. I had no idea how much time had gone by. I assumed only a few minutes. I figured I should go and see if he was still there and talk to him. I grabbed my wand, removed the silencing charm then put it in my pocket, walked over to the door, and opened it. The hallway was fairly dark. Obviously a while had passed. It was now late into the night. _Damn_. I decided to go back to the still charred sitting room. I promised myself I wouldn't fall asleep this time and dream about huge fires.

The whole room was different, with the exceptions of the window and the fireplace. Everything else was burned. I sighed. _I am such a horrible decorator_, I joked to myself. I sat on the floor against the wall facing the window. The grasses rolled on the quiet hills. I made some more magical clay and let my hands mold it for me. They moved with more precision than I was normally capable of when I controlled them.

When my hands stopped, I looked over their work. It was some sort of curled up figure, but there was not much detail to define what. I told it to wake up. The animal removed its head from the side of its body. It was a doe. It lifted its head and stood carefully, a little wobbly at first, then with more stability. I smiled. _It was like Severus's Patronus_. The doe looked at me, a small bit of green light for its miniature eyes. It trotted off my hand and around in the air, circling down to the floor. The doe continued to trot on the floor, leaving a trail of small lights off its tail to land on the carpet. It slowed to a stop and turned to face the trail it had left behind. It shook its head in a flicking motion and the little lights left on the carpet bloomed into little, tiny flowers.

I smiled bigger. _It wasn't Severus, but my mom_. The doe curled up once more on the floor, and vanished, leaving behind only the trail of tiny flowers. My mom had once vanished too, but she also left behind her trail of flowers. I didn't have the heart to get rid of the flowers, and so I left them there. I gathered my thoughts together and marked what I had accomplished today.

_#1: No change_

_#4: No change_

_#5: Tom fucking kissed me AGAIN_

_I've at least kind of figured out why he did it. He's an evil bastard who needs to control people in any way possible. That's nothing new, of course, but I had never realized that he would go as far as kissing me. Worst part about it was I liked it. _I let that sink in_. Bloody fucking hell, I LIKED it. _

_#5: Screwed_

What the fuck was I going to do if I _LIKED_ it? _Nothing. I wasn't going to do anything. I'm going to act like it never happened_, I told myself.

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

_That could have been better_, I thought after Harry disapparated. I figured he had gone to his room, but I didn't dare go after him. I rose from my chair and decided to go to my own room. Surely Harry would hate me now. _But why would I care if he chose to hate me?_ I thought, but wouldn't allow myself to answer. I had been through enough of this control my emotions had over me. It had to end. _**Accio Draught of Peace**_. A familiarly shaped potion bottle found its way into my hand, and I drank it. My thoughts cleared and I readied myself for bed, trying to finish quickly and get off to bed before the potion would wear off. I transfigured my clothes into black sleeping ones, and slipped into my bed, finding sleep nearby.

I slowly awakened, letting the world materialize around me. Something inside me made it blatantly obvious it was not morning yet, and so I did not get up. I gazed around my dark room; even if it was pitch black I would be able to maneuver through it like I would if it was not. I let my mind return from the fuzzy oblivion that was sleep and focus once more. I decided there was nothing to gain lying in bed, and so I got out and transfigured my sleeping clothes into black robes.

I considered what I should do with my time. _We have many options, depending what time of morning it is._ I opened the door to the hallway and was met with dim lights, ever so slightly becoming brighter. It was before sunrise obviously. _Then we could go up to the library and read until it is time to eat breakfast._ I apparated to the hallway, just before the door to the study I spent much of my time in. I looked down the hallway, and there, of course, was Harry looking right back at me from the door to the door where my crystal creation was. We did nothing but look at each other, not making any move. Our eyes met in the darkness, and I wanted to break free and go into the library, but Harry's eyes, not too far off bright green lights shining through the night, forced me to hold my gaze. It was a kind of Priori Incantatem that did not require wands, or even magic. Who shall win the battle of will? Who shall force the other to reveal themself? I was determined for myself to not lose such a fight this time.

I looked into Harry's eyes and felt my great determination fall. He stared, not quite realizing how much power he held; not in his wand, but in his soul. I would admit I have not been the same since he had first arrived that first day. He had an everlasting effect that I could not rid myself of, only give in to. Without breaking eye contact, I took a step towards Harry. Feeling the challenge, he stepped towards me. I took another step, and Harry followed suit.

Then we were before each other, eyes still locked. I had not intended to become so close, as we had, but there was no chance of my backing down. Harry's eyes were filled with challenge, and fierce bravery, his strong suits, of course, and they added an intoxicating glow to the dark green orbs before me. Harry's unruly hair swept just over his forehead, hiding the scar I had put there ever so long ago; my mark on him as my equal.

I lifted my hand and gently held his chin, almost as I had earlier, but kinder. I did not want Harry to pull away, but I would not press him if he did. I pulled his chin in and met his lips, gently embraced them with my own, finally closing my eyes and enjoying the moment of pleasure and absolve, my lungs losing their air and my heart slowing to a near stop. Harry did not pull away as I had feared he would, but relented. _'This is wrong,'_ he thought. I released him and attempted to pull myself back, but Harry grabbed my robes and pulled me in closer. He pressed his lips to mine and I took the invitation. My tongue passed through my lips and onto his, licking them and tasting his sweet essence, before I grabbed his hand and pulled it off my robes to be released. I pulled away and let his hand go. His eyes flew open wide.

_/If it iss wrong, why do you sssusstsain?/_ I hissed.

"U-Uh…" Harry stammered. _'Good question. I have no idea.'_

_/Could you not…help yoursself?/_ I softly hissed in his ear.

"Well…I…uhh…"

I smirked and stepped back. The distance was strenuous, but necessary. Harry's cheeks were red and he stared at the floor. _Are you embarrassed?_ I thought, completely curious.

"No. Yes. Well… I mean… sort of." _'I really didn't expect you to kiss me again, much less have me kiss you back.'_

I couldn't let myself step closer, but every fiber of my being wanted to. I wanted Harry in my arms, to see that vulnerable look in his eyes, and have complete control over him, but I wouldn't let myself have that freedom. I knew what Harry had been through, and even if he didn't remember it, he still felt against everything even remotely like that. But I could not change how I felt. I dared to take the step that brought me closer. Harry looked up at me again, his eyes so large an innocent, like a small animal baiting its predators knowing it was poisonous. I brushed my lips against his, fighting my greatest urge, but Harry pulled me in, and all resistance was lost. I plunged deeper into the kiss, wrapped my arm around Harry's waist, and pulled him closer. He draped his arms around my neck and let a small, whispered whimper escape. I turned so we were faced the opposite direction and took a small step back towards his room. My tongue passed through my lips once more and licked Harry's smooth lips, begging for entrance. Harry stepped closer in and parted his lips just enough for my tongue to slip past and explore his mouth. I took more steps backward, pulling Harry so he had to follow me. Harry's tongue danced on top of mine, his wonderful flavor seeping into my mouth.

I parted our mouths and trailed down to Harry's throat. I nibbled at a sensitive area between his neck and shoulder, then bit down. He gasped and I opened my eyes to see his face, but noticed the trail of flowers that was following us from where we once stood. Turning my attention back to Harry, I placed my mouth over his once more. I could no longer wait. Harry was presenting himself to me in such a way, and I feared I would never get this chance again. I pictured my bed, so large and cushioned, and we apparated to its foot. I broke apart our kiss and gently pushed Harry to lay on it. He looked around, a panic in his eyes, and I draped myself over him to whisper in his ear.

'Harry, I will not do this without your consent. I promise not to harm you.'

Harry did not say a word, but gave a small nod. My hand wandered up his shirt, feeling the smooth skin of his stomach and chest, and our lips met once more. Without realizing I had done so, I made Harry's shirt vanish, along with my robes. Harry ran his fingers through my hair, and his tongue plunged into my mouth, filling it with his flavor once more. My hand softly glided over his chest and over to his nipple, which I playfully flicked to hear him whimper once more. My pants grew tighter as my arousal pushed against them, begging to be released. I broke our kiss, and Harry inhaled heavily to make up for lost air. I unbuttoned Harry's pants and pulled them off, along with his boxers. His erected member was released from its prison. I gently took it in my hands and brushed my fingers up its length. Harry's head flew back and his hips bucked, just pleading me for more. I lowered my mouth onto his tip and massaged it with my tongue. Harry let out an airy moan that whipped through the air and encouraged me on further. I took the shaft with my hand and covered the rest with my mouth, moving ever so painfully slow.

"Tom" Harry moaned. I removed my mouth and, with my tongue, traced a large vein on his cock while massaging his shaft, then released my own member and stroked it with my other hand. The air was thick with our pleasure and the absence of oxygen. "Tom…I…Tom" Harry scratched at the sheets of the bed, his orgasm building. I brought us closer and closer, every second of ecstasy less bearable than the last. Harry's moans filled the room with music. "Tom…I'm coming…" Harry's back arched and his cock released a sticky white liquid I had no problem swallowing. I quickly finished myself off, coming with a soft moan and my hand covered in the same sticky substance. I used a quick cleaning spell on my hand, then looked back up at Harry. He was breathing hard, his eyes closed peacefully and a bed of flowers around him. I smiled and got into bed next to him, a happy kind of sleep overcoming me.

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><p><strong>Ta-dah! That is the best progress they've made so far. ;) I hope y'all enjoyed it. Review please! M'kay, thanks! :D<strong>


	20. Dimming, Dimming, Dark

**Chapter 20: Dimming, Dimming, Dark**

**What time is it? No, not Adventure time (if you said that). It's time to find out how they are going to act the day afterwards! Lol. One of my reviewers (you know who you are) commented on how they liked how I recreated Tom's 'happy moment' (that he used to make a Patronus), but instead of Harry biting him, it was him biting Harry. Just wanted you guys that didn't see that, to recognize it. ;)**

**Aliengirlguy: Hehehe, yep. Thank you. :)**

**YaoiCookies87: I would never do that. It's just cruel. That will work out great. :) I'm glad you like it.**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Closer to a solution? Or in a bigger mess? Hehehe…**

**Bluetoads: You bet. ;) Hehehe, you gave me the most WONDERFUL idea when you said who would find it. I figured Tom wouldn't know about chocolate helping because it's a muggle candy, and he hates anything muggle, so he probably wouldn't read up much on it helping with anything magical.**

**Mrs. Grindelwald: Thank you for commenting! I'm glad you like it. :)**

**InsaneChickOfWriting (aka B): My goodness, you are awesome. Thank you for all of your reviews! I'm glad you get so much from my story. And that quote, I laughed for a while after writing it. :) And all your compliments, I'm blushing. And evil Harry IS sexy. ;) I'm so happy that you like everything!**

**Threadbare Threnody: I know, right! Lol. Thank YOU. **

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or anyof its characters. Don't sue.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay, thanks!**

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I came back into consciousness, a smile on my face. _That was the best I've slept in a really long time_. No nightmares, or dreams, just sleep. I opened my eyes and saw only black, which was usual for my dimly lit room. I sat up and went to swing my legs off the bed, but the bed kept going on. I scooted once, twice, three times, and still did not reach an edge. _This isn't my bed…_ I rubbed my eyes then looked around the room. I saw nothing but dim light shined on blackness. The sheets were black, the walls were black; the bed went on forever; I looked down, and I was naked. _This is not a good sign. I know who's room this is, and being naked in his bed is definitely not a good sign._ I kept scooting off the bed, and after several, I found the edge finally. I looked around trying to find my clothes, but I could not see them anywhere near where I had gotten off. _Bloody hell._ I stood, hiding the part of myself I did not want anyone to see with my hands, and walked around the bed. I sighed in relief when I saw my pants and boxers at the foot of the bed, and quickly put them on.

I had no idea what happened to my shirt, but I didn't bother to go to any means to find another one. I didn't see Tom anywhere, but I realized it must be morning and so must be eating breakfast. I went to the door and opened it, revealing the bright black hallway. Memories of last night flooded into my mind. I had actually let Tom kiss me, and then I kissed him back. Then we were in his room and I panicked. Then he asked me for permission, which I gave him, and it was…amazing. I walked into the spacious room and sure enough, there was Tom eating breakfast. I went and sat down next to him in my chair. Sadie popped in with a breakfast tray and set it down before me. "Here be your breakfast, Mr. Harry Potter." She squeaked. I thanked her and she popped away.

The smell of food made me realized just how hungry I was. I ate all of my breakfast before I remembered I wanted to talk to Tom. I looked up from my now empty plate to Tom. He was looking at me curiously.

"What?" I asked.

"You finished your breakfast."

"Yea. I was hungry."

"I see…" Sadie popped in and took our plates away.

"So…" I started, my nerves already thinning. "About last night…"

"Yes, what about it?" Tom glanced towards me, but not at my eyes.

"Well…I don't know really. It's just…you…and…I woke up in your bed naked."

Tom gave a soft chuckle. _'So very articulate.'_ "Yes, Harry. You were asleep and I did not want to wake you, so I just let you sleep in my bed."

"Yea but…" _It was…weird._ I didn't know what to think of it, really. Last night everything was so different; the emotions were high, and everything was so…right. Now, all of that had drained away, leaving me feeling awkward around Tom. I didn't know what to do.

"What was weird?" Tom asked casually.

"Waking up in your bed. I thought I was going to wake up in my room. I tried to get off your bed, but it never ends. It's bloody huge."

Tom scoffed. "Well yes. It is a bed perfect for…" he looked to me, his scarlet eyes teasing, but his face completely serious, "…a bit of fun."

My cheeks were red, no doubt. I'm not sure I've ever had such a blush. I looked down and played with my fingers. Things were going to be different now, between us, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing quite yet. Before, we were friends (sort of). Now we were…what were we?

"Tom?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"What are we now?"

Tom gave me a questionable look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, before, we were friends. Now after…last night…what are we now? Friends with benefits?"

"Harry, that is an absolutely awful choice of words. Never say them again."

I smiled. "What are we then?"

Tom stayed silent a moment, pondering and choosing his words carefully. "Nothing has changed, Harry. We have always been the same. You are Harry, and I am Voldemort. That is what we are."

Was it wrong to be disappointed? I had expected more. I sighed at his answer (which I noticed avoided actually answering my question pretty well).

"Ah yes, and Lucius and Draco shall be coming over today. We will be discussing some very important information regarding the plans we made at the last meeting."

_You made plans? Plans for what?_

"Do not worry yourself, Harry. You will find out soon enough. They shall come after noon, so that should be more than enough time for you to get ready, and find a shirt to wear."

_Oh yea._ I had almost forgotten I wasn't wearing a shirt. Tom stood and left for his room, so I figured I should do the same. I went up the stairs and down the hall to my room. My door was locked, of course. I instinctively went to grab my wand from my pocket, but found it wasn't there. "_**Accio wand.**_" It took a while, but eventually my wand came to my hand, and I unlocked the door.

I decided to take a shower. I took off my clothes and got into the water. The boiling stream hit my body, but there was no stress to melt off, just skin. It hurt more than it helped, so I made it a bit colder than normal. When I was finished, I got out feeling no different than I had going in, except that I was cold now. I left the bathroom, and saw my clothes folded on my bed, even my shirt. I quickly dressed and looked down to my clothes. I had been wearing these for a few days, so I decided to change them. I transfigured my dark green shirt into a red one, which made my green eyes brighter in contrast, and my black jeans into regular blue ones.

I still had so much time before I had to go to the meeting, but I hadn't the slightest idea what to do. _Well, maybe I should work on those spells Tom taught me. He worked on the one I gave him._ We were both aware of what we were trying to do, I was sure, just like before. But I liked this better. It was almost fun, like we were just playing a game, not deciding the fate of the Wizarding world. I tried to bring him this direction; he tried to bring me that direction. Honestly, I didn't care who ended up where. I knew it wouldn't matter, because we would still be ourselves. _Or would we?_ I couldn't imagine myself being evil; torturing people for entertainment, killing people without second thoughts or guilt, harming innocent bystanders. That wasn't who I was. And I found it difficult to see Tom as good. I could see it, yes, but it wasn't quite right. Even if Tom did become good, he would have a wicked past that haunted him everywhere he went.

I went downstairs and to the hallway where we practiced. The room was unchanged from yesterday. I pulled a rat from a large cage to the side of the room and placed it on the floor. It began to run away, so I had to use the body-bind spell on it. "_**Petrificous Totalus**_." The rat froze in place. I thought of a spell I needed to perfect. All the curses really didn't take too long to learn, it was more of my conscience interfering. There was one I was having so much trouble with because it was so evil, and the guilt would have eaten me into nothing by the time it actually began to hurt the theoretical person I would cast it on.

"_**Monstinnen**_ (**1**)" A somewhat-clear light purple cloud sprayed from my wand onto the rat, and it inhaled it. The rat did not move still, and nothing seemed to happened. That was the horrible part. They would think nothing is wrong with them, or not even notice they had inhaled it, then later, they would be in incredible pain, and it would be too late to save them.

This was one of the only spells that Tom and I had not used on Pettigrew, since he would likely die from it. I unpetrified the rat and put it into a little cage beside the larger one, that had a charm on it to allow only a parselmouth, or snake, to open it. I placed it on the floor and sat down close by, awaiting the horrible curse to take effect. It had been awful to watch the first time Tom showed me, all the times I had cast it had not worked because I was so fearful of that happening again. This time, I just wanted to see if I was able to cast it correctly, just once.

The rat moved around the cage, a bit skittish at first, but eventually acting as if nothing had happened. I watched it move around in the plain cage; it looked so innocent and harmless, and I was about to kill it. A few more awfully long and anxious moments went by before I noticed the rat shaking and squeaking furiously. It almost looked like it was seizing, its body shaking so much. Then it stopped everything, and fell to its side. Its stomach moved, then a hideous monster made of the rat's own blood and flesh ripped through the skin and exposed itself to the outside world. I shut my eyes. It was truly the worst thing I had ever seen happen to a living creature. The monster of course would shrivel up and die, since its source of nourishment was dead.

I found my breakfast churn uncomfortably in my stomach. _I really should have waited until later to try this, so I would not lose the only full meal I've eaten in a while_. I heard a hiss, and then something slither across the floor over to me. My eyes opened and saw Tom's large, beautiful yellow snake.

_/Your breakfasst./_ I told it, trying to hold down my own breakfast with difficulty. How on Earth anything could eat that was beyond me.

_/Thank you./_ it replied. It nudged to door to the cage and it flew open, and it swallowed the rat and monster whole. That was almost harder to watch. I stood and quickly left the room. I did not want to be there anymore.

I made my way to the private meeting room, even though it was very early. I went inside and sat in my gold chair. _What to do until everyone else shows up..._ Just then, Draco and his father stepped into the room.

"You're both early."

"We do not want My Lord to wait for us." Lucius said.

"Why are you early, Potter?" Draco sneered.

"I got bored." I said simply. I didn't want to act childish today. I was so close to finding out what Tom had planned, I couldn't waste the chance because of Malfoy.

"I shall go fetch My Lord since the rest of us are already here." Lucius announced. "Behave." he said to Draco, then looked to me. "Both of you." Then he left the room.

"So, Potter. Have you been bringing your girlfriend over, or have you been sneaking out to see her?"

"What?" _Where the bloody hell did that come from? I don't have a girlfriend_.

"Your neck. It's quite obviously not a bruise. So which is it, then Potter?"

I was confused, to say the least. _My neck?_ I touched my neck here and there until I found a spot that was sensitive to touch. I gently pushed on it, and I almost gasped. It was a good kind of pain, and I immediately remembered last night. Tom had bitten me, and it left a mark apparently. _Bloody fucking hell. _Tom probably noticed it too, and didn't say anything about it. And now Draco was questioning me about a girlfriend I didn't have. _What would his face look like if I told him it was from Tom? Oh, I'm sure it would be classic._ But I didn't dare risk it.

"None of your business, Malfoy."Oh, really, now?" He was so irritating. "I suppose I could just go tell Voldemort about it, then."

_That would actually be amusing, but I would have to play my cards just right..._

"What? No. Malfoy, that's not fair."

He smirked, thinking he held something over me. "Then I suppose it is my business."

Every little thing about him was annoying. I faked a growl pretty well. "I've been sneaking out. I would never bring anyone here." That was half true.

"Then I suppose Voldemort will have to take your wand, then, after I tell him you've been going out."

"But you said-"

"I never said anything, Potter." His stupid teeth gave me that ever so infuriating, 'I-win' smile. "So who is the unlucky girl? Not that weaselette, is it?"

I could not think of a reply, but I was saved by Lucius and Tom walking through the door. _Tom, why didn't you tell me you left a mark on my neck? Draco, here, has been harassing me about it._

_'What did you tell him?'_

_He thinks I've been sneaking out to see a girl. _

Tom nodded to us and sat in his black chair. Lucius took the grey chair, and Draco sat in the green one. "Now, let us discuss how we plan to attack the Order."

"What?" I had not expected that. That was so far off my list of what I feared would happen, but it was now number one. "You can't attack the Order."

"Harry, we must. It was our original intention to attack them at Hogwarts, but that plan had more luck involved with it than I was comfortable with."

"Why do we have to attack them? They know about our alliance, so if you need to talk with them, just send me."

"We do not wish to talk to them. We must erase them, so that there is no hope for mudbloods and muggles. They are the only thing that now stands in the way of eradicating their existence."

I was silent a moment, to let that sink in, but I quickly challenged, "For one, that is not possible. You can't kill of all muggles and mudbloods. And two, killing off the Order will not help you accomplish that."

"They both must be done, Harry. You know how terrible muggles can be."

"Yes. They _CAN_ be that way. But that's the nature of humanity. We are that way too. Killing them off doesn't stop those things from happening."

"Harry, you do not understand. They are the only thing that causes us harm. We need to rid ourselves of them." I couldn't believe Tom. He was being so...like Voldemort.

"They are not the only things that cause us harm. We would be the ones who are causing them harm if we just kill innocent people."

"Enough. We are not discussing this. We are talking about the attack." Tom's anger was flaring.

"Killing the Order isn't the way to accomplish that. The Order was formed solely as an opposing force against you doing horrible things. You can kill the current Order off, which may I mention would include me and Snape, but they will just regenerate. Wizards see what you do, and they feel they need to save innocent people. You can't stop it from reforming unless you plan to kill everyone on Earth in the end."

Lucius and Draco had not spoken a word, but stared in awe at me. They obviously felt I was brave to oppose Tom.

"Then what do you suggest we do to stop the Order?" Tom asked, an angry tone to his voice.

"You shouldn't need to stop the Order."

"My Lord, if I may," Lucius said quietly. "We could send Harry to talk them into disbanding. Then we would not have to worry about any opposition. They would trust Harry enough to not reform."

I despised the idea, but it was better than killing them all. Tom considered it. I wasn't sure how I would be able to convince them to disband, or why I was even considering it.

"I suppose that could be our first offense. But if it is not successful, then we will eradicate them." Tom finalized.

I did not like this one bit. I couldn't stand it a moment longer. I could care less what they were going to talk about next; I was done. I stood and pulled my wand from my pocket, disapparating from the room.

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Harry landed in his room. He was infuriated with Tom. _How could he just kill people without a second thought? I would live through a life-time of guilt and sorrow if I had done such a thing_. He grabbed a pillow from his bed and chucked it at the wall, but found no release from that. He was just so angry, and he needed to let it vent out.

He apparated once more to the practice room downstairs. He petrified a rat and placed it before him on the floor, sending nasty curses at it, and watching it squeak in pain, but not able to move. He released the rat from the binding spell, and it writhed on the floor. Harry sent a few more curses at it, watching it die ever so slowly. When it was close, Harry sent the monster curse at it, letting it feel the pain a bit longer before Death would grant it escape. The monster ripped the stomach of the rat, and Harry watched in horror as it died as well, his anger draining fast. He realized what he had just done. He winced at the dead rat corpse and parasite, a reminder of the secret moral boundaries he had just passed.

_#1: I've just taken a big step backwards. Poor rat…_

_#4: Tom is going to send me to disband the Order, then kill them if I fail to do so._

_#5: Tom…well…yea…_

_Today just isn't a good day for me._

Voldemort sighed. He was so irritated with Harry. How dare he ruin his meeting by leaving. They had important details to discuss. He attempted to continue the meeting, trying to gain as much information as possible from Draco about the Order. He was, however, nowhere near as knowledgeable as Harry, who was actually in the Order. Draco only held rumors, and gossip, but Harry would have had the facts that they ever so needed to plan this successfully, and not drama that no one cared about. He found Harry so irritatingly emotional and naïve, with his arguments, and completely honest opinions, that look in his eyes when he was so angry, and how his hair would blow around when he was infuriated, that mark on his neck marking his as Tom's, temporarily, as well as the mark on Harry's forehead that marked him as his, forever…

"Lucius," he said, stopping his train of thought, "this meeting is helping nothing. We will reschedule it for a time when Harry is less...temperamental." he said the word with disgust. Lucius nodded and disapparated away.

"My Lord, I have a private matter to discuss with you." the young Malfoy heir said.

"Yes?"

"My Lord, what would you think if I told you Harry was sneaking out of your manor?"

_So he plans to tell me about Harry's "girlfriend"_, he thought to himself. _This should be amusing_.

"Harry would not sneak out of my manor."

Draco let the smallest grin cross his face. "Did you happen to see the odd mark on his neck? I'm sure you couldn't miss it."

"I did."

"Do you not wonder where it is from, My Lord?"

Tom contemplated telling young Draco about how he had put it there, but felt that he should not. "I did, but there was no time to ask him where it originated."

"My Lord, I believe Harry may be sneaking out of your manor to see a girl, whom gave him that mark." Draco stated.

Tom let his eyebrows rise in a false surprise. "Oh really? I shall confirm this. Thank you for your knowledge, Draco."

"Yes, My Lord." Draco bowed his head, then stood and disapparated away, leaving Tom with his thoughts.

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><p><strong>Hahaha. What will happen now? Harry's going evil, Tom's falling like a girl for him, Draco thinks Harry has a girlfriend, Harry has to disband the Order…what are they all going to do? Hehehe. Until next time… (REVIEW PLEASE! M'kay, thanks. :D)<strong>

**1 .From French "monstre" meaning monster and German "innen" meaning inside. I got creative this time making up a spell. :)**


	21. Beautiful

**Chapter 21: Beautiful**

**Hey guys. Sorry, but my friend was over and stuff. I do have a social life occasionally. Hahaha. Thanks for understanding! You guys are amazing. :) I had sooo much fun. Anyway…**

**YaoiCookies87: Hahaha, yea. I'm glad you like the chapter, and well see about that compromise… ;) **

**Sneaky lunatic spy (chapter 20): Hehehe, okay with me. And I love evil Harry as well. *dark chuckle***

**InsaneChickOfWriting: :) Thank you. I try. Hahaha, I like your little scenario. **

**M.: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked reading it. I will take your advice. :)**

**LIGHTNSHADOWS: Thank you SO much for understanding! :) I had a bunch of fun and smiled so much my cheeks hurt.**

**Sneaky lunatic spy (chapter "21"): Thanks for understanding! Hahaha. I'm sorry my story is so addicting. I just might have to check out your story… :D**

**Magic Dobby: Thank you for understanding! I hope you enjoyed your holiday. :) **

**Note: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. At all. Not even a little bit. Ever. Don't sue. **

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; ROMANTIC SCENES BETWEEN FORMER ARCH-ENEMIES; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; M'kay thanks! **

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><p>"Look at the stars<br>Look how they shine for you  
>And everything you do<br>Yeah they were all yellow  
>I came along<p>

Your skin  
>Oh yeah, your skin and bones<br>Turn into something beautiful  
>You know<br>You know I love you so"

-_Yellow_ by Coldplay

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I absolutely, indubitably, unequivocally, emphatically loath, detest, and completely despise being so vulnerable. This humanity in me made me this way; I could not control my thoughts any longer, like I could before, and it infuriated me. I needed to control anything and everything. That was just my nature. I needed something to bend underneath me, underneath my power, and give me that feeling of absolute strength I found I ever so craved. There were many things resilient to me, yes, but none like the stubborn Gryffindor that was Potter. And it seemed it was contagious, for my mind has never been the same after spending such an amount of time with him. I felt my thoughts get carried away when they needed to be fairly focused, and my feelings would build up inside me so, I felt I would erupt. It was a terribly awful feeling, yes, but after last night, it was ever so worth putting up with. Part of me found that fact purely disgusting, but another felt it quite the opposite, and yet both were drawn to him somehow. A small tug at my chest that always occurred when he was in my presence; I brushed it off as his part of my soul reaching out to me. He was, after all, my only horcrux left, and I felt so possessive of him. He was mine; no one could say otherwise, not even Harry himself.

I was in my library studying up on various dark creatures, to bring them on the side of darkness, when I felt a presence enter the wards of my manor. This was not unusual, of course, for it wasn't a human presence, but an owl's. I had not sent out any letters recently, and so I figured it must be for Harry. _I was not aware he was sending letters to anyone._ It was very odd, and so I felt I should check up on whom ever may be sending him letters. It wasn't that I did not trust him (for I really made an effort to trust, even if it made my head ache and caused my nerves so much discomfort), but I was merely curious. I reached out my mind to his, and found he did not have it protected, and so I kept quiet to remain unnoticed.

'_Oh. It's a letter from Hermione. _

_Dear Harry,_

_We really miss you. We hope you are doing alright. Things aren't too bad there, are they? You know we would have you out of there as soon as possible if it is. Ron is doing better, thankfully. He doesn't want you to be alone in this, Harry. We've always been in this together, and it is just so different, for both of us, to sit and wait for you to do this by yourself. We are here for you, you know that. Take care. Good luck. _

_Love,  
>Hermione<em>

_Thank _Merlin,_ Ron is doing better. I should reply._

_Dear Hermione,_

_I'm doing more than alright. It's not really that bad here at all. I'm not saying it's absolutely perfect here (oh far from it). I don't agree with him (at all), and there are times when I get bored here, and I haven't been outside in a whole week, yes. But there a lots of things I enjoy about being here like (….uh….hehehe, I won't tell her that) learning new spells, and looking out this window he charmed to look out onto the most amazing hills, and the food is delicious. I know you guys are worried about me, but I'm the only one who can do this. I'm so glad Ron is doing better. I will see you all again after school starts (hopefully). _

_Love,  
>Harry<em>

_That sounds good.'_

_So he is talking to his school friend. _I really found it interesting how he made it plain to her what he liked and did not like (and how he added his own commentary when writing it. What exactly did he not tell her that he liked here?). _He thinks that window is charmed to view hills? _I had not thought he would enjoy that window so much. _Maybe showing him the outside shall ease the tension between us_. That meeting had left us in a difficult situation. I needed Harry; he was the key to my success. He would the reason I was able to rid the world of muggles, but curse his humanity. If he was not so insistent on keeping people alive, I would, perhaps, be finished with them already. _And that is all I need him for,_ I attempted to convince myself.

I stood and walked to the door, tossing my book behind me so it may put itself away. The hallway was very dim, for it was late in the evening. I figured Harry would be in the sitting room, and so I made my way there. When I was in the upstairs hallway, my gaze fell upon the door, which was wide open, revealing Harry sitting on the floor across from the window, staring out it, a small doe made of green light trotting along the floor. He did not look very well (not that I was paying any particular attention to his appearance); his bright eyes were red, that matched his shirt selection, his ebony hair was unusually disastrous, and his chest shook ever so slightly with each breath he took. I silently stepped into the room and stood just behind him.

_What is wrong, Harry?_

He looked up at me, seemingly unfazed by my sudden arrival (which was ever so disappointing). "Nothing," he sighed. He rubbed his eyes. "I was just staring out this window for so long; my eyes are really irritated. I don't think I've blinked in a while." _'I was having a major thinking session.'_

_What did you think about?_

"My friends. Family. Mostly about going there." He turned his attention back to the window.

_I see…_ "Would you like to go there?"

'_Yes. That would be great, if I could.'_

"And why can you not?" I questioned him. "It is just outside. If you wish, I can take you there."

Harry turned and looked up at me, his eyes wide and confused. _'It's just outside?'_ He looked to the window, and then back to me, and he nodded.

I walked over to the window and turned back to him. _Come._ He stood and came to my left side. I held out my hand for him to take, which he proceeded to stare at. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand. _**Pelure spettro **_(**1**)_**.**_ I stepped through the wall, my body easily passing through the wall and window. I pulled Harry after me, and after we stepped through completely, our bodies were once again solid, and I let us float down to the ground that ever so awaited us.

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Dark indigo colored the sky, making the white stars shine so much brighter in contrast, and the pale blue moon like a king of light. The dew on the grass glittered like they were standing in an ocean with calm, sleepy waves in the moonlight. The air surrounding them was golden with silence, only making the world seem more peaceful and serene, and carried a sweet scent of wildflowers and fresh water in its soft breezes, that made the ground sway ever so slightly. The trees stood with long shadows adding beautiful depths to the ground like a painting, their deep jade leaves, perfectly sound and still, making the shadow seem so much more than a tree's. He stood in awe, always imagining he would be standing in that spot, but finding that actually being there was so remarkable, and dream-like. He was so happy, but he couldn't possibly comprehend the immense concentration of joy he felt, much less express it. Tom expected him to be excited, or at least smile, but he just stared out at the landscape, unmoving. '_Is he not happy to have come here?'_ he thought to himself. He had seen Harry's desire to be outside, he was sure of it. Was he disappointed? He looked curiously at the black haired boy who could capture him simply with his eyes.

"Harry, are you unsatisfied?"

Harry was surprised at that. He was far beyond satisfaction. "I'm more than that. I'm...it's so...amazing to actually be here. I never thought..." his words were cut short by his own fascination with his surroundings. He wanted to absorb every part, every detail, of it. He would stare at this until he went blind in both eyes; until he grew weak from starvation and dehydration; until the moon went away, sending in the bright, harsh sun to warm the Earth.

Harry pulled on Tom's hand, which was still in his own, and brought him down alongside himself as he sat down in the grasses. Tom let him, and they sat, shoulders brushing, looking to the perfect scene before them. Tom did not really understand Harry's want to go outside. He did not know the enclosed life Harry lived. Harry could count the number of times he had just watched the beauty of nature on his hands; and the number of times he was forced to give up such a simple thing...he was sure he couldn't count that high. He just wanted to enjoy the small things in life he had never had, was that too much for him to ask for? Could the Boy-Who-Lived have such luxuries? Harry wasn't sure, but he still wanted them. Harry's eyes ran over the hills once more. He still could hardly believe he was here; that this place was just outside the manor. All this time he had thought it was so far away, or maybe not even real, but there had only been a window between him and it. He smiled and sighed happily. He was content with his life, just watching from the sidelines.

"Hey, Tom."

"Yes, Harry?" Tom turned his gaze to Harry.

A curious question danced on his tongue. "The window shows autumn, but it's spring outside. Why?"

"It is always spring here, Harry. The window shows the actual seasons that should be occurring."

Harry nodded. He was slightly disappointed he would not be able to be surrounded by falling leaves, but he still enjoyed this scene. Memories of earlier in his life, their color so much weaker than the ones before him currently, settled somewhere in his mind, temporarily forgotten. He was here, and he felt like nothing could make this better.

Tom, however, grew bored of watching the hills, and begun to watch Harry instead. His hair melted into the dark sky in the background; bright green eyes shining in the moonlight, giving them such a great luminance they matched the stars above them; pale face half covered in shadows. He was truly remarkable to Tom, as were the hills to Harry. Tom couldn't help but admire him being so content, just as he admired Harry's anger, and his fear, and his evil. He noticed his hand was still wrapped in Harry's, and found it odd how such warmth could pass from so little contact. Harry's earlier question ran across his mind. '_What are we?'_ It was a very good question, in the sense that even Tom could not think of an answer right away. He was just happy (yes, _happy_) that Harry had not pushed him away. Did that mean something? He wasn't sure, and that irritated him a bit. He did, however, know that Harry had enjoyed it at least a bit. Tom wanted more of him, he couldn't deny that, but he felt the need to control himself, and to stop such awful thoughts about doing such things. _I am not homosexual, _he told himself. He did not prefer men over women, he really didn't; he just preferred Harry over people in general. He was sure there was no one else in existence that could sway him as Harry could.

The pressure was building inside him. He ever so wanted to bring Harry close and have him at his mercy, but the refused, and so it built up, collecting in his lungs, and making breathing normally a chore. He felt Harry's hand move slightly in his own; such a small gesture, but it shook Tom's bottle, and his emotions bubbled up like soda, intensifying the force that opposed his self-control. He clenched his teeth as the urge came and passed. Harry was torn from his trance when Tom tensed his hand. He had almost forgotten he still held it, but he didn't want to let go. A memory rose to the surface of his mind of him being held by Tom, and feeling safe, after his nightmare. He longed to feel safe again, but did not want to admit such a petty thing to Tom. He could only imagine what would happen. _Hey, Tom, would you mind holding me? Oh sure Harry, why not? And while I'm at it, maybe I can completely change my plans for the future, so I don't have to kill any muggles. Wouldn't that just be awful to do, Harry? I would never want to do such a terrible thing ever in my entire life._ It was almost humorous to Harry. Almost.

He focused back in on Tom's anxiety. What had him so tense? He would have gone into his mind, but he wasn't so sure he wanted the answer.

"Tom?"

"Yes, Harry?"

Harry didn't know how to ask Tom, or even if he would reply. He just looked back out into the night, and slowly rested his head on Tom's shoulder, which tensed underneath him, as well.

"This is nice." Harry said quietly.

Tom felt nervous. Why had Harry put his head on his shoulder? It was obviously meant as a sign for something Harry did not want to share. Tom was not one for risky moves, but he decided to try his luck at guessing what he meant. His hand (the one that wasn't enveloped in Harry's) rose and gently traced Harry's jaw until he arrived at his chin, where he lifted it softly, his thumb brushing against his lips. Harry met Tom's gaze, and felt his heart skip a beat. Their mouths met, and caressed one another.

Tom pulled their lips apart, but did not pull away. Harry rested his forehead against his, his eyes closed and his breathing a bit heavy.

"This is nice, Tom."

* * *

><p><strong>Awww. How cute. :) I'm sorry it's kinda short, but I wanted to save other things for next chapter. ;) Please review! M'kay thanks. :)<strong>

**1. From French "pelure", meaning "skin" and italian "spettro", meaning "ghost".**


	22. Out of the Closet

**Chapter 22: Out of the Closet**

**YAY! It's getting so good, now! I'm coming to a point in the story where I know what I've done and what I'm going to do, but not what to put currently. :P And I'm trying not to rush things. Please give me feedback so I know what I need to fix? That would be awesome. :)**

**Aisling-Siobhan: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked that chapter. :)**

**YaoiCookies87: Hahaha, yep. Maybe…of maybe something else will happen first. :)**

**Bluetoads: :) I'm glad you like that quote. I like it too. **

**Artsycherry: Yep. It is very cute. :)**

**Skipping all this crap this time. :P**

* * *

><p>And the song too.<br>Sorry.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I wasn't sure if Tom understood what I meant when I said it was nice, but then again I didn't much care after that. Tom's hand released my chin and went behind my head and pulled me closer until our lips met once more. His tongue slipped past his lips and into my mouth, exploring it, and so I tasted him again; it seemed I could never have enough of it. His hand slid down my spine, sending a chill down it, and underneath my shirt. I wasn't sure if I wanted what would come from that, I just wanted comfort and safety, but it felt so good. _Do I really enjoy this?_ It was an insane thought, still, that I could possibly like this from Tom, but insane or not, I did. _I do,_ I thought. _I love it._

I parted our lips so I could breathe. My eyes flew open and met amazing crimson ones; they were so close to my own, it was hard to see them as two eyes, and not one. There was a certain feeling I got when we were this close. It was a rush of ecstasy, warmth in my chest; everything was right (oh-so right). But there would always be that small part of me that wanted it all to stop, that never gave a reason why. Tom tried to lift the hand intertwined with mine, but I squeezed it, refusing to let it go. He gave me a smirk. He was absolutely stunning, with his dark hair in perfect order, beautifully sculpted face, and gorgeous red eyes; it almost wasn't fair.

_/Intent on keeping my hand?/_ he hissed in my ear. His voice was so soft, and playful (and *clears throat* sexy), it made me smile back at him.

"Why do you want to let go?" I asked, sounding playful, but it was a serious question.

"Well I suppose I can manage to do what I was without letting go."

He lifted our hands and kissed the back of mine. Our hands traveled down to my pants, and he rubbed against the growing bulge with the back of his hand. I gasped at the burst of pleasure that came from it, and my hand clasped tighter around his. I shut my eyes tightly, blinded with pure enjoyment. I could only feel now; every stroke of his hand, as well as his lips brushing down to my neck. His tongue traveled to the mark he left last time, and carefully licked it. It was still sore, but the pain made my head spin. It seemed like a few seconds, but actually might have been minutes, I was lying on the dark grasses and Tom was over me. His hand brushed against my fully erected cock, and I let out a moan. Our clothes were instantly gone (to where, I have no idea, but they vanished), and his hand slightly parted from mine to barely fit my cock in between them. Another rush of pleasure was sent throughout my body. It all felt so damned good. His tongue persisted in tracing around the raw mark on my neck. My back arched; I couldn't stand it anymore. Tom stopped everything (just before I came too). I opened my eyes and my eyes scanned his body. He had fairly nice abs, his skin practically matched mine, and his cock was large (Hehehe, and at attention). The word amazing would not begin to describe how he looked.

He leaned in to my ear and whispered, 'Harry, I need this. May I?'

I was confused at first. _What? I don't understand._ Tom released my hand and looked to me, waiting for an answer. I nodded, still not quite sure what he had in mind. He bent my legs and began to position them accordingly, and I realized what he meant. My breathing stopped completely, and a little red flag went up in my head. Something about this was so wrong, and yet, I swallowed and ignored that. I was sure I wanted this as much as Tom, but there was still that unsure feeling in my stomach.

Tom carefully pushed his way into my ass, and a searing pain ripped through my body. I shut my eyes and clawed at the grass; my teeth clenched as well. Everything within me burned and screamed _NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! _I bit my bottom lip so hard, I tasted blood, and I was sure a tear or two escaped my eyes. I tried to calm down, and regulate my breathing. The pain slowly, but surely, drained out of me. Tom hadn't moved much at all (although I couldn't tell). I panted still, but still nodded to Tom. He pressed in a little farther, and the pain came back, but smaller this time. I inhaled through my teeth, making a hissing sound. He pushed further still, and hit a spot inside me that instantly made all the pain leave and replaced it with such an extreme pleasure, I lost control of my body. My head flung back, my back arched, and my hips bucked. _Fuck._

Tom slowly pulled out, then pushed back in, directly hitting that spot. Another rush and I didn't know how much longer I could hold on. I wrapped my arms around Tom's neck and buried my head in Tom's shoulder. My breathing was distressed and my heart raced in my chest. Tom put his hands on my hips, pulled back slightly, and then back in farther into my ass, pressing a vicious kiss to my lips, as well. A moan escaped into his mouth from mine. Tom quickened his pace, and I almost lost it. Everything was so much, I was sure I would come at any moment, but it continued on. The air was thick; the air I forced into my lungs held no oxygen. As Tom pushed in once more, my face twisted with pleasure.

"Tom…" I moaned. His name was all I thought, there was nothing else; just him. "Tom…Tom"

I was closer and closer to the edge, every second. It was terribly amazing. Tom's hand released my hip and grabbed my cock, stroking it. Another moan escaped, and I was pushed over the edge. My back arched and I clenched my teeth once more.

"Tom…I'm coming! Tom!"

I climaxed and my world turned white, feeling the sweet bliss of release. The air returned to my lungs, and I panted heavily to make up for lost oxygen. I opened my eyes as Tom pulled out and finished himself off, coming right onto my stomach with a small moan. He looked even better with his face distorted by orgasm. He waved his hand, and cold tingly feeling cleared our mess. I looked up at him, admiring everything that made him Tom, and not someone else, from his fierce eyes, to the sweet nothings he hissed into my ear in Parseltongue; I found them so absolutely perfect.

I had lost so many people in my life that I had cared about. Every single one was difficult to cope with, and accept. I thought about it, and I had no idea what I would do if I lost Tom. It seemed like my world would cease to exist; it would be so much worse to lose someone I was a part of, and fell so deeply for. The thought brought me down from my high, and I realized something.

_Things I love in this world:_

_Watching the leaves in autumn_

_My friends and family (alive and not)_

_Magic_

_Riding a broom_

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

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><p>Hermione's POV:<p>

Ron was sitting on the couch in the Burrow, messing with his fingers. I was so worried for him still. He hadn't quite gotten over Harry leaving like that, and (even if I hate to admit) I hadn't either. It was a terrible feeling, knowing your friend was not protected and in the presence of You-Know-Who all day, and not being able to save them if he decided to shoot a killing curse at him. Professor Snape had assured us that Harry would be fine, but we still had our doubts. It's not usual for enemies, especially You-Know-Who, who have spent a large part of their lives trying to kill someone to just stop and try to be allies. We figured he would have some tricks up his sleeve.

"Ron, honestly, stop twiddling your fingers."

Ron looked up at me, then lowered his hands. He sighed. "Sorry, 'Mione. I just…"

Just then, my owl, Octans, swooped in and perched himself on the table in front of us. I immediately pulled the note off his leg, and read it aloud to Ron. After I finished, I was only slightly reassured.

"Well," Ron started. "At least he likes some things there."

"Yes but…" Harry was really trying to convince us he was well, but I wasn't so sure. "Ron, you know just as well as I do that he just doesn't want to worry us."

"I know 'Mione, but we have to let him do this. If we just walked in, it might ruin everything."

"I know." We both understood that, but I was so frustrated that we were could do nothing to aid Harry. "Do think he's really doing okay, Ron?"

"I don't know, 'Mione."

We sat in silence. Neither of us could do anything. What if Harry is being hurt, and he just doesn't want to tell us because he knows we would endanger ourselves to save him? Maybe he's constantly having to protect himself from curses being sent his way, or even worse, learning curses and using them on people. But Harry would never do that. Unless he was under the Imperious curse. He could very well be under it, even when he sent that letter. I didn't know what to think anymore. Every situation in my mind was worse than the last. It was horrible to think of terrible things happening to Harry, but if they were happening, we needed to know immediately. I picked up my wand and summoned some parchment, a quill, and ink.

_Dear Harry, _

_Ron and I are happy you aren't completely unhappy there. It's rather dull around here without you. Ron and I just sit around all day, waiting for your letters. The rest of Ron's family is concerned for you too, but they have tried to get back into their routines. Luna thanks you for saving her, and Neville as well. It was such a stupid thing to do, of course, but we know as well as you that Luna, or anyone else, could not accomplish what you can. We miss you dearly. It's only been a week or so, but it feels like forever. It may be a bit much to ask, but would you consider asking You-Kno- (I remembered what Harry had said about calling him Tom, and so I scratched it out) Tom to let you visit us? Just to make sure you're alright. It would calm our nerves. _

_Love,  
>Hermione <em>

I folded up the note and tied it back to Octans's leg, and he flew off. I sat on the couch next to Ron and laid my head on his shoulder.

"'Mione, what are we going to do?"

I sighed. Everything about Harry was so unsure now. "We will wait until school starts. Harry said he would be there, and even if he's not, at least we can always send in Professor Snape to make sure he's alright. It's all we can do right now, Ron."

Just then, Ms. Weasley walked into the room. She was taking it hard as well; it was like losing a son to her.

"Are you two sure you don't want to go to sleep yet? It will be hours before Harry replies. You both need some rest, and it's late."

"We're fine, Ms. Weasley, thank you. We really just want to wait for Harry to reply, if that's alright." She had that concerned look, but nodded and left the room. I looked out the window, and saw it was very late, but I wasn't tired in the least.

It was very dark in the house with everyone asleep. Creaking of the floor and people breathing were the only things we heard. A cold breeze drifted over me, and I shivered. Ron put his arms around me, protecting me from cold. I was still cold, inside. It was like mourning Harry's death. We knew he was still alive, but even Professor Snape had told us it was dangerous to do. Harry was risking it all this time, alone. What would we do without Harry? Of course we wouldn't stop fighting, but how many people would? As much as Harry disliked it, he was basically our leader, and what good is an army without its leader? That was the original idea with trying to kill You-Know-Who; without him, his supporters would once again disappear. But things were different now. How, I wasn't so sure, but it was different.

"What if Harry is in trouble right now? We can't do anything about it, 'Mione."

"Harry isn't in trouble. He would have sent for help if he was."

"I don't know, 'Mione. This is You-Know-Who we're talking about. He could be doing anything to stop Harry."

It was true, of course. We had no idea what You-Know-Who could be up to. "I know, Ron. But we don't have any reason to think he is. Professor Snape said-"

"Snape. Everything we know about Harry is from Snape. We don't know anything other than what he tells us. How do we know he isn't part of the plan too?"

"We have to trust him, Ron. He told us he did this for Harry, and we need to believe him. What else can we do?"

At this, Ron sighed heavily. Putting our hope into a Professor that always seemed to dislike Harry was almost as bad as having Harry gone. But it was the only option there was. We were silent a few more moments. I loved Ron, and I would ever enjoy his company, but now was not a time to focus on that. Now was the time to hope, and wish, that Harry was alright, and to do anything we could to help him, which right now was sitting and waiting for his reply. There was a small noise outside. It was odd, and sounded like nothing any animal could produce. I lifted my head off Ron's shoulder to listen. He looked at me, a bit confused, but didn't say a word. Silence was all that I heard.

'What is it Hermione?' Ron whispered.

'I heard something outside. Let's go see what it is.'

We grabbed our wands and left the house. Nothing was out of the ordinary in the field. Just the usual tall plants, not even a cricket chirped.

"_**Homenum **__**revelio**_ !"

My spell shot out, and a black figure was pushed forward from the field. He rose and dusted off his robes. "Ms. Granger, I would prefer if you never did that again."

"Professor Snape?" I looked over to him, but the darkness made it difficult to see. "Why are you here? Is something wrong?"

He walked over to us. "I went to check on Harry. When I arrived, there was not a soul inside the house anywhere. Neither Voldemort nor Harry were there. I sent my Patronus to Harry, but he has not yet responded. I fear something may have happened, but I am not sure."

Harry was nowhere to be found with a Dark Lord who has been trying to kill him ever since he was a baby. That processed in my brain. Harry's in danger. I looked to Ron. His eyes were wide and he looked as fearful as I felt. I looked back to the Professor. "What do we do?"

"For one, we must not contact the Order. Their interference may contaminate everything. I am going to investigate everything and fare if I find any clues as to where they could be."

"We're coming with you." Ron said. "If anyone knows Harry, we do. We could help."

Professor Snape looked unsure, but his eyes were more concerned than I had ever seen them. "Please, Professor. Harry needs us, and more people means quicker searching. Please."

"I suppose...but as I said, the Order shall not be informed."

"Yes, Professor."

He nodded once and walked out of the wards on the Burrow, so we followed him. We held onto his robes, and disapparated.

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Snape, Hermione, and Ron arrived at the manor, in the spacious meeting room. The two young students looked around, amazed that such an evil person could have such a house.

"Now," Snape turned to them. "You two will search Harry's hallway up stairs. His room is at the end, most likely locked. He also rather enjoys the sitting room, which is the fourth door. Look for anything suspicious in anyway. We will use Patronuses to contact each other if any information is found."

They nodded and climbed the stairs while Snape went and checked the downstairs hallways. Ron and Hermione stepped into the dark hallway that was Harry's. _It seems so dull and drab_, Hermione thought. "_**Lumos**_." The tip of Hermione's wand lit up the dark hallway. "I'll check the sitting room, you check his bedroom." Ron nodded and they split up.

Hermione found the door to the sitting room wide open. She looked inside and her eyes widened. The whole room was burned to a crisp. She immediately put out her light and sent her Patronus to Professor Snape.

Snape had finished checking the first room in the hallway where Voldemort's room was, since he had not checked that hallway earlier, when the otter appeared before him. "Professor Snape, the sitting room is scorched. Everything is burnt. Something awful seems to have happened."

Snape merely rolled his eyes. He had forgot to mention that, but there was no time to address every detail. He quickly sent his doe back in reply.

By this time, Ron had rushed over to the room with Hermione, just as panicked as she was. They had no idea what on Earth had gone on, and the thought that Harry might have been hurt as bad as the room had...was terrible. The doe appeared then, and Hermione let herself calm enough to hear its message.

"That was a previous occurrence. Harry was in that room and accidentally set fire to it. That is why he went to St. Mungo's. The room had not yet been repaired."

Hermione was confused a moment, but it was quickly over. "Ron," she called to the boy in the corner of the room who was close to tears. "This happened before. Professor Snape was here when it happened, and he said Harry was treated and everything already. This already happened."

Ron looked up and calmed down a bit. "Alright. I...Uh...I'll go finish checking his room then." Ron stood unsteadily and left for Harry's room once more.

Snape had made very little progress in this hallway. Several of the rooms had special wards and charms in them so he could not enter them. It was frustrating, especially since Harry could be in danger behind any one of them. He wasn't so much concerned that it was Voldemort that would harm Harry (though it was still a concern), but more that someone else would, and that Voldemort might do nothing to stop it. He was finally at the private meeting room, right next to Voldemort's own room. There was not much in the room, and so there was no evidence at all as to where Harry would be. Snape growled inwardly.

He walked out of the room, and over to Voldemort's own room. He unlocked the door, and wallows inside. The room was so dark, he couldn't see his own hand, much less anything else. "_**Lumos maxima**_" he said. His wand tip immediately brightened the whole room. There was Voldemort before him, his sleeping clothes on.

"Severus, what on Earth do you think you are doing?"

Snape immediately sent a Patronus to the students upstairs, telling them where he found Voldemort and where to go to get where he was.

"Where is Harry? I arrived earlier to check on him, and I found neither of you."

A small rustling behind them caused Voldemort to hiss a curse. "You've just startled his sleep."

Hermione and Ron ran down the hall, to the room Snape had told them to go to. He had found You-Know-Who, which was the best clue to finding Harry. They arrived in the room, only illuminated by Snape's wand.

"We're here, Professor."

Snape didn't move an inch.

"You invited the rest of the trio, Severus? You know I don't allow guests I don't invite myself." Hermione and Ron didn't recognize the man who spoke. _He isn't the Dark Lord_, they thought.

Severus still did not move. "Professor?" Hermione questioned. She found it odd he did not move. Was he under a body-bind? She was about to cast a releasing spell on him when he spoke.

"Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, it seems there has been...a misunderstanding."

"What do you mean, Professor?"

Harry woke up to several familiar voices talking. He thought he was in another dream for a moment, until he opened his eyes and saw Snape holding an illuminated wand, with Hermione, and Ron standing near the doorway inside Tom's room. He sat up, before realizing how much of a mistake that was. He was naked in Tom's bed. _Damn it, Tom!_ He thought. _You couldn't put some clothes on me?_

Snape stared at him shocked, then quickly looked away. "It seems...there is a lot of...explaining to be done. As soon as Harry is ready to do so, we will wait outside."

Hermione and Ron had obviously not noticed Harry, and looked to Snape, very confused, but followed him out the door.

"I apologize, Harry." Tom turned to him, and conjured up some decent sleeping clothes.

"What the bloody hell are they doing here right now of all times?"

"It seems Severus was looking for you while we were...outside. And so he gathered our friends and were searching around for clues as to where you would be."

_And they found the biggest clue of all_, Harry thought. _Me, in your bed. Naked_._ I'm not sure I want to explain that to them._

"You don't have to tell them. I can easily get them out of my manor."

Harry sighed. "No, I'll talk to them. They would have found out eventually." Harry put on the sleeping clothes (while Tom watched out of his peripheral vision), and went out to talk to Snape, Hermione, and Ron.

Snape stood a distance away from the door, a rather spooked expression on his face. Ron and Hermione sat close to the door, awaiting him. When they saw him, they immediately rose and hugged him.

"Harry, we missed you!"

"Hey, mate. What's going on?"

"We were so worried about you."

Harry smiled at his friends. He had missed them, too. "Hey guys. Uh...you're not going to believe me when I tell you this."

"What were you doing in his room, mate?"

Harry sighed. This would be difficult to say so Ron would get what he was saying. Judging by Snape's look, he already knew. Hermione could easily catch onto what he would say, but Ron was as thick-headed as a troll.

"I'm just going to come out with it. Blunt and straight. I love Tom."

Hermione's mouth dropped. Ron just looked confused.

"What? Why? What does that have anything to do with you being in his room..." he slowed his question to a halt as it dawned on him.

Harry bit his bottom lip, which hurt a bit from earlier still. How to explain this to them? "Well...I know it may seem bad, but even if Tom is evil, he just doesn't understand things that keep people good. He really is thoughtful of me, and we do have a lot in common..." he trailed off.

Hermione and Ron just stared in awe. Their friend had just slept with the Dark Lord? Not possible. Harry loved him? Very not possible. Everything they thought they knew, turned upside-down. And poor Snape was having a mental freak-out. He had definitely _not_ expected this to happen by giving Voldemort his soul back. How had Harry even let him, considering he had a poor experience with...this...at such a young age? Snape had assumed he was scarred for life, but maybe Harry had overcome it? But that still didn't explain why he loved Voldemort. He wasn't too sure he wanted to know.

Harry was blushing to the extreme. It was one thing to get caught with a guy in bed, but another completely when you were caught with a guy who used to be your evil enemy who had tried to kill you at many points in your life. "Well...I'm alright. So...you all can go and have some time to..." Harry was trying so hard to find words to say, "...absorb and accept all this?" he looked down to his feet. He didn't dare look his friends in their shocked spaces. Hermione nodded a bit and snapped out of her trance. She grabbed Ron and Professor Snape and apparated back to the Burrow.

Harry winced and hit his head against the wall. Surely his friends would think terribly of him now. Tom stepped out of his room.

_'Harry, come sleep now. They have left.'_

Harry nodded, and turned back to the room. Even in the terrible event that he lost his friends because of this (which he hoped with all his might would not happen), he would still have Tom, and so that was all that mattered for now.

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><p><strong>:o Uh-oh! They found out! What now? Hehehe, until next chapter… PLEASE REVIEW. :) M'kay thanks.<strong>


	23. Conclusions

**Chapter 23: Conclusions**

**:D Hi guys! Ok, so I've been a bit distracted during the day. I have been putting my hand on my throat and singing just to feel the vibrations. It's lots of fun when you're super bored. :) Thankfully I'm super focused at night, so the chapters get done, Hehehe. **

**We're getting closer and closer to the big climax of the story (Hehehe, not meaning to be dirty). It's building and building, and then it's just all gonna come out (Lol, couldn't help myself). My guess of how many chapters until it comes: 1. Maybe… ;)**

**YaoiCookies87: I'm glad you're glad. :) Lol, I know. Poor Severus. Hehehe, you'll see how he's doing afterwards. Lol. Of course that chapter was like whoa. :D**

**Aisling-Siobhan: Here's another one, just for you. :)**

**Aliengirlguy: You'll find out. ;) Hehehe, yea, Poor Severus. **

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Hahaha, yep. Right then of all times. **

**Bluetoads: Hahaha, yep. You bet. Oh, you just wait. The screaming is on its way…**

**WyrdSmith: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you like my story. :) **

**Force Cookies: Hahaha. Everyone feels sorry for poor Snape.**

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><p>"Desperate for changing<br>Starving for truth  
>I'm closer to where I started<br>Chasing after you  
>I'm falling even more in love with you<br>Letting go of all I've held onto  
>I'm standing here until you make me move<br>I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
>Forgetting all I'm lacking<br>Completely incomplete  
>I'll take your invitation<br>You take all of me now"

-_Hanging by a Moment_ by Lifehouse

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
>Watch you smile while you are sleeping<br>When you're far away and dreaming  
>I could spend my life in this sweet surrender<br>I could stay lost in this moment  
>Forever<br>And every moment spent with you  
>Is a moment I treasure<br>I don't wanna close my eyes

And I don't wanna miss a thing"

-_I Don't Want to Miss a Thing_ by Aerosmith

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I woke up, and this time it was morning. I had slept pretty well, other than the fact that I was woken up in the middle of the night by Snape, Hermione, and Ron, who found me naked in Tom's bed. Other than that, it was great. Tom had already, of course, got to breakfast. I scooted for a while until I reached the edge of the bed; that alone took so much effort. My ass was rather sore, which didn't help at all. I hobbled as best as I could over to the door. Every step only made it ache more. _Bloody hell, Tom. Could you be a bit gentler next time? My ass hurts every time I try to walk._

'_Next time? So you plan on that happening again; sometime soon, hopefully.' _Tom thought playfully.

I couldn't help but smile. He always could find any weak points in what I said, and, right now, it was cute. I walked into the spacious room, finding Tom standing by his chair.

"Why aren't you sitting down?" He was normally eating breakfast by now.

"I was waiting for you, Harry."

I blushed, I know I did. Tom was being a gentleman. I sat down in my chair, and then Tom sat as well. The house elves brought us breakfast, something yellow and pink that looked questionable. I thanked them and took a bite. It was, of course, amazing. We ate most of our breakfast in silence, just enjoying each other's company.

All this time, I had been living, thinking my life would be over at any minute. I always knew I would die; it was just a hassle to keep me alive until the right time. I had never once thought about what I would do if I lived through it all. But now, I didn't need to die. More importantly, I didn't want to die. I had a purpose to my life now, someone to live for, and it was such a different kind of feeling. I would live my life with him by my side. Suddenly, I realized I could cope with losing my parents, and Sirius; not because I found someone else to love instead, but because I finally understood how love felt. It was such a weird feeling, like I was surrounded by little butterflies nibbling at my skin and causing me to rise into the air. I cared so much more than I would ever thought I would about Tom. Ever since I learned about his past, there was always that hidden understanding I felt for him, and staying here only added to that.

"Harry, an owl came for you this morning."

I looked up to Tom, his amazing ruby eyes staring back into mine.

"Who's it from?" I asked absently.

"Well I assume it's from your little friends who came over last night."

_Oh._ "Ok. Where's the owl?"

"Upstairs in your room."

I nodded. I still had to deal with them, of course, but they were my friends. They would learn to tolerate it eventually, right? It still wouldn't be easy for them, not at all. I suddenly lost my appetite, and pushed my half-finished breakfast plate away.

"Oh, and Harry,"

"Yea?"

"We are having another meeting today. It shall be right after dinner."

That caught my attention. Another meeting after what happened yesterday? I figured maybe he would be changing his mind about what he asked me to do. That would make me feel so much better, right now.

"Okay. What shall we do until then?" I asked, trying to send a hint his way.

"We?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

A big goofy smile came to my face, and I laughed a bit under my breath. "Yes, we."

So much had changed since this time yesterday, I could feel it. The air was lighter, and playful. All of my worries were gone in an instant, and the only thing that mattered was Tom. He was my love, and I was his, and we had a whole day to spend together before we had business to attend to.

He let a small grin come to his mouth. He pushed his plate away and the elves picked it up, as well as mine, then popped away. He stood and offered his hand to me, which I grabbed easily, and we apparated away.

This room was different. I had no idea where we were, but it was amazing. The floor was blue, and looked like the ocean, with waves rippling through it. The large bed was made of birch, with sandy silk sheets, and white silk pillows. The walls were a bright light blue, with clouds floating about, and birds flying in the distance. It was like the bed was an island to be stranded on in a vast ocean of the room. I marveled at the room. I had never really been to a proper beach (unless you count that useless shack Vernon dragged us to escape from receiving my Hogwarts acceptance letter, but I don't. That was about as far from beach as possible), and even though this wasn't a real beach, I felt like it was.

"Wow. This is amazing."

"I awoke early this morning to redecorate this spare room from my normal black colors into something better suit to your tastes."

"You did this?" _For me? _I smiled.

I can't describe how I felt. It is the most amazing feeling in the world, and I haven't ever been this truly happy ever in my life. There was nothing in the back of my mind, holding me to the ground. I floated into the air, weightless, and joyful. My heart was running a marathon and my lungs trailed behind. I couldn't breathe, but I felt like I didn't need to anymore. Everything I would ever need was right in front of me. Tom smiled back at me and the rest of the world didn't matter; it was just a blur. I couldn't bear what would happen if he left, but I didn't think about that, because, how could that happen when he was right there in front of me? He wrapped his arms around my waist in a cocoon of the warmth that I loved so much. I put my arms around his neck, and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Everything after that was pure instinct. Tom's hand ran down my back, and our tongues danced in each other's mouths. I don't remember our clothes vanishing, but somewhere along the way they did. His hand traveled to the small of my back, and he gently laid me down on the bed, without breaking our heated kiss. I pressed my body against his, our cocks rubbing against each other, creating such an unbearable rush of pleasure between us both. Hands ran across our bodies, every touch going straight to my groin. I was going crazy, and I wanted every bit of Tom that he could give me. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He broke our kiss and quickly pushed himself inside my ass, going straight for my pleasure spot. I moaned loudly, another wave sent through my body. It was all so good, I couldn't bear it. Tom continued to hit that spot, dead-on every time. "Tom!" I moaned. My mind was full of pure enjoyment, and nothing else. I wrapped my arms around his neck again as my back arched and my face twisted. Our bodies fell in sync with one another, hearts racing together, lungs gasping for oxygen, the pressure within us building; it created a perfect rhythm. I finally couldn't stand it anymore. I threw my head back, squeezed my eyes shut, and let my orgasm loose. I released all over Tom, and he quickly followed, releasing inside me.

We panted for a moment, relaxing after such a rush. I smiled and opened my eyes to look at Tom. His chest rose and fell steadily, and his eyes fluttered behind his eyelids. He hadn't pulled out yet, not that I exactly minded; it felt good. Tom was so amazingly beautiful. I don't think I could think that enough. Tom was SO amazingly beautiful. The way his perfect dark hair fell out of place onto his forehead, and how his fingers clawed at the sheets, and the soft look in his eyes when he opened them. Tom finally pulled out, used a quick cleaning spell, and lay down next to me. My arms wrapped around him, and my head rested against his warm, comfortable chest. He was so amazingly beautiful; there were not enough words in the English language to describe it, or possibly in any language. He wrapped his arms around me, and we held each other. Nothing in the world mattered. It was just me, and the divine, absolutely radiant man before me.

* * *

><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Hermione, Ron, and Snape had not slept all night. After Harry told them what had gone on, Hermione had apparated them back to the Burrow. They were all I shock for quite a while, but as soon as it wore off, Ron began screaming on and on about how Harry would betray them, and become as evil as Voldemort, and murder all of his friends who got in the way of his villainy. It took quite some time for Hermione to calm him down.

Snape, however, grabbed a bottle of Fire whiskey and began to drink away, not even bothering to grab a glass. He had decided he needed some "help" to fully accept this, that would only come from the burn of alcohol down his throat and the free feeling afterwards. Hermione had finally managed to silence Ron, and so they both sat on the couch stuck in their thoughts.

_I can't believe that bloody bastard would betray us like this_, Ron thought. He was convinced it would turn Harry evil. _He was always such a great friend, but now..._ He shook his head.

Hermione didn't exactly know what to think. She had mixed thoughts that conflicted each other terribly. _Harry is a complete idiot for letting himself fall for someone so evil. But at least he finally found someone to love, that's the important part. But the Dark Lord can't love. Harry may be in far more trouble than we once thought..._ She bit her lip and pondered how Harry would be in the future because of this.

Snape took another swig from the bottle. _Of course, I'll be there for Harry no matter who he decides to love, but did he really have to pick someone so difficult to accept? How did this even occur? There is nothing even remotely close to a connection between them._ Snape thought that last part over, the alcohol delaying the process. _What am I thinking? There are several connections between them. How did I not see this coming?_ He put the bottle to his lips and poured some more whiskey down his throat.

The morning arrived days later, and by then, their thoughts had completely drowned them, and each had come to their own conclusions. Ron was furious with Harry, and decided he wanted nothing more to do with him. In fact, he would fight against him personally in the war if it came to it. Hermione did not exactly approve of Harry's choice, but felt it could help as much as it could hurt. She just hoped it wouldn't hurt.

Snape was completely wasted. He had come to a conclusion, but he could remember what it was for the life of him. The alcohol wouldn't let him move from lying on the floor. Every time he tried to get up, his legs would get pulled back down and his arms would give way. He still tried to get up, without success. Hermione finally had to levitate him up onto the chair.

Ron's face matched his hair, and he was ready to punch a hole out of the wall. "I can't believe that bastard would stab us in the backs!"

"Ron," Hermione put a hand to her forehead. She knew this would not be at all easy for Ron to accept, but he just had to, for Harry's sake. "Harry didn't stab us in the back. He loves someone. Yes, it may be You-Know-Who, but that doesn't mean he will become evil. He's still Harry."

"How do you know, Hermione? Harry could bloody well be planning to kill us at this very moment and you would still think he was our friend!"

"He IS our friend, Ron. Nothing will change that unless you don't accept this."

Snape softly groaned as the alcohol's effects began to wear off. Hermione turned to him and sighed. She had known he was drinking, but hadn't bothered to keep track of how much. And now he's about as alert as a hibernating bear, she thought and shook her head. _What am I going to do with these two?_

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><p><strong>:) Next Chapter is gonna be great. I have already started it and stuff, so I know exactly what it's gonna be about. :) I hope you liked it. Please Review! M'kay thanks!<strong>


	24. Devastation

**Chapter 24: Devastation**

**:) Hey guys! Next chapter is here a bit later, but that's because my computer was being stupid. :P I have been super tired these past few days, and will continue to be this way Monday- Thursday every week. Luckily, tomorrow is Friday, and I will sleep like there is no tomorrow, Hehehe. Thanks for all of your awesomness!**

**YaoiCookies87: Hahaha, yep. And you'll see what happens!**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: He won't, I promise. :)**

**Ms. Grindelwald: Awesome, indeed.**

**Aliengirlguy: Thanks! :D **

**xxSnowxxAngelxx: Yep, Hehehe. And yes, it is around the same time. When I said "The morning arrived days later…" I meant it to mean like it felt like days had passed, when truly only hours had. Sorry for the confusion. **

**Note: I still don't own Harry Potter, of any of its characters. And I never will. I do, however, own this fantasy of what I think should have happened between Harry and Tom. ;)**

**WARNING: RATED M FOR SEX, PROFANITY, AND MORE SEX; HARRY/ VOLDEMORT SLASH; DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ; DO LIKE, DO READ; M'kay thanks. :)**

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><p>"I tear my heart open<br>I sew myself shut  
>My weakness is<br>That I care too much  
>And the scars remind us<br>That the past is real  
>I tear my heart open<br>Just to feel"

-_Scars_ by Papa Roach

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

The alcohol was finally wearing off, which left a hung-over Snape sitting in a chair, begging Hermione to get the hangover potion he had in his lab. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to get there. And so it was, Snape sat in the chair, suffering through a painful migraine, intensely bright lights of day, and the motion of the world spinning around him.

Hermione was an intelligent girl, and so she tried to think of anyway she could get that potion, or help Professor Snape get it. But that, of course, was not possible without Snape using magic, which he was fairly unfit for. _I suppose he'll just have to brave through it._ She sighed and looked to Ron, who was sitting at the other side of the couch, arms crossed, face red, pouting childishly. Hermione had really given her best effort to convince him Harry was not turning evil, (while Snape was so blustering drunk). In the end, he finally admitted that Harry wasn't an evil person, but he still did not like it, as he made obviously clear.

She was stuck between two problems. One had a solution that would require much, much work, and the other was impossible. _Then I suppose I should try the one that isn't impossible. _She stood and grabbed her (charmed) purse that was across the room. She kept everything in there, from school things, to personal items. Her hand dove inside, searching through its depths, and pulled out a small black cauldron, then a book on potions. She flipped through the book, looking for the hangover potion that would cure Snape. _Here it is._ She pulled some ingredients from her purse, but there were others she needed. She tapped her fingers on the coffee table, thinking of where she could get them, before finally deciding to purchase them in Diagon Alley.

Ron watched Hermione disapparate to _Merlin _knows where. He muttered to himself about being left behind, and other nonsense about betrayal.

"Mr. Weasley, please shut that hole in your head you call a mouth." Snape snapped.

Ron was annoyed beyond belief, but he did nothing to cross his headmaster. Hermione popped back into the room, and Ron turned and looked back at the wall he'd been staring at, angrily. Hermione set down the ingredients and began to prepare to make the potion.

Snape heard the crack of Hermione's return and internally groaned. Every noise was magnified by a thousand. One hand was over his eyes, to prevent the harsh light beams of day from blinding him, while the other was over his stomach, which was growling in pain and hunger. He wished this terrible feeling would leave him.

Hermione stirred the finalized potion. _Thank goodness it was fast and easy to brew._ She pulled several small vials from her purse, and poured her potion into them. She set one aside for Snape, then placed the others in her purse, and cleaned her mess with a quick spell.

'Here you are Professor,' she whispered, being mindful to his condition.

Snape took it, and knowing right well she had brewed it herself, hesitated to drink it. She was not an awful potions student, in fact, she was rather good, and so he finally drank it, hoping she had not picked this time to make a potion incorrectly. It tasted of orange juice and toothpaste. Snape, not being very fond of the mint and citrus combination, curled up his nose. His headache began to fade, and the world darkened to normal brightness. He removed his hand from his eyes and sat upright.

"Thank you, Ms. Granger," he stated snottily. Even if she had made the potion right, down to every last detail, he still did not find himself very grateful for her help.

Hermione just nodded and sighed to herself. Now all she was left with was the impossible problem…

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

Harry and I were still entangled an hour later. I didn't have the energy to get up, I was so incredibly exhausted, it seemed. Every time I would attempt to move, gravity would not let me. Something about us both laying there seemed to make the world better, and so it prevented us from separating. Harry had fallen asleep in my arms earlier, a smile on his face. His black hair was an awful mess that made it rather obvious we had made love. His face was unmarked, with the exception of my scar, of course; the red lightning bolt always could draw my attention. Whenever Harry would put his forehead to mine, I could feel the mark there, like it had its own magical signature. I didn't quite understand why Harry would put his forehead to mine. What was it meant as? I did not know. He was such a peculiar wizard, and I was not sure I would ever understand many of the things he did.

I tried once more to raise myself up, lifting Harry's arms slowly from around me. He fidgeted in his sleep a bit, and I would stop to make sure I hadn't woken him. After several agonizing moments, I was free, sitting up on the bed. I shivered, the absence of Harry's body heat making itself known. I honestly considered going back and wrapping his arms around me once more, but a nagging in my mind told me I needed to get dressed and start my day. I looked back to Harry, so peaceful on the sandy bed. As much as I did not want to wake him, I would rather that than him awake when I was not here. I summoned back our clothes, and quickly put on my robes before going to wake Harry.

_Harry, it is time to wake._ I softly touched his bare shoulder. He didn't move at all. _Harry, wake up. _Still, no movement whatsoever. I pondered of ways to wake him, but not be too sudden about it. I did not want him to be angry at me for disturbing any kind of pleasant sleep he was getting. I sat down next to him, gently caressed his cheek, and planted a small kiss on his lips. _Rise and shine, Harry._ His eyes fluttered a bit underneath his eyelids before he began to move and stretch. His jade green eyes flew open and he smiled sleepily.

"That was wonderful," he said. "Let's do it again sometime."

I let a smile onto my face. Harry was definitely odd, but it was rather nice. "Of course. But right now, our day must start." He nodded and sat up.

I handed him his clothes and he took them, then watched as he put them on. I tried to sort out my feelings for the boy. Last night had been such a mess; I had not paid attention to what he told his friends. How did I honestly feel for Harry? I knew I had a sexual desire, that much was obvious, but there was more to it. Many things led me to believe it was love. But I was the Dark Lord. I did not love anyone. Beyond that, I was not capable of such a weak emotion. It left its victim so vulnerable, like a curse. I had long left such abilities and weaknesses behind me. I could not remember what exactly had led to this, but there were events that had aided this. My world was dark, alone, and powerful. I could not give that up for something so human. It was not love. Just lust.

Harry finished dressing, and we left the room. I walked Harry to his room, then made my way to the library.

"Bring me all books on ancient curses."

The carts rolled over to me, several books on each one. I tossed a few books off which I had already read. They all floated back to their spots on the large bookcases. I picked one up with a blue cover. Its paper was very different from the thick, yellowed pages of other ancient books; these were slightly brown and so very thin, I feared they might break. I used magic to carefully turn to the first page.

The title made it obvious it had made a long journey to be here, since it read "罵倒する呪文". I did not understand Japanese (at least that's what I thought it was, since Chinese has a different style to it), of course, but as I soon found out, not all of the spells were in Japanese. This book was obviously a collection of curses from anywhere. I saw many languages, from the fluid script I assumed was Arabic, to the random assortment of letters I realized was German, to the very familiar language that was English.

I read the first spell in fluid, decorative script; "الخنافس تحت الجلد. تحدث : الجلد الزحف. الآثار : جلد الضحية يصبح تعج الخنافس بين الجلد والعضلات". It all looked very marvelous and artistic, but I could not understand a word of it. I used a quick translation charm, and English words appeared in the margins of the book; "Beetles under skin. Incantation: coleopter infeste. Effects: victim's skin becomes infested with beetles crawling between skin and muscles." I deemed it a decent curse, but not very painful, mostly frightening.

The next spell had letters with dots over them; "hårbotten naglar. Talade: spetsade trådar. effekter: offren hårbotten kommer att bränna och håret kommer att falla ut, ersätts med små spikar gjorda av ben." Translated as "Scalp nails. Incantation: harsvord stig. Effects: Victim's scalp burns, their hair falls out and is replaced with small spikes made of bone." Incredibly painful, that one. It was very intriguing, but something stopped me from immediately going to try it out.

I flipped a few pages and cane across one with very odd letters. "спалио кости. говорио: ватра сржи.ефекти: жртве кости буквално ухвати на ватру и њихове кости спалити, због чега сржи да цури." Translated as "Scorched bones. Incantation: fuoco midollo. effects: victim's bones literally catch on fire and their bones burn, causing marrow to leak into blood." This spell was possibly deadly. I nodded to myself. It would make a fine curse to perform as a punishment. I rose to test it, but there was something once again, preventing me from doing so. I sighed, and tossed the book away. Its bright blue cover floated back to a high shelf on the grey bookcase.

What was keeping me from my work? I couldn't understand what it was, but I refused to let such a feeling get in the way of my work again. It was terribly irritating and took away from the progress I so desperately needed to gain. More recently, I had been making less and less each day, and it was becoming stressful. It was clear I needed to make up for lost work, but there was no sure way for me to do so.

I rose and walked to the hallway. It was fairly bright now, meaning it was the afternoon. The hours were slowly, but surely, ticking away until the meeting, where I hoped to gain very much progress. I decided to spend the next few hours planning in my study. There was much to be done.

Hours later, I was becoming irritated. I had fallen into a terrible situation in my plans. Writing attack plans was very much like a labyrinth. One could very much act like they know where they were going, until they arrived at a dead-end, or a monster. Then what were they to do? Start all over from the beginning (like some irritating game). I rubbed my temples, and decided to take a much needed break.

The hallway was beginning to darken, and so I made my way to the dining room for dinner. Not that I was particularly hungry, but I most definitely needed something to nourish my mind. I went over to my chair, but did not sit down.

_Harry, it is time for dinner. _

'_Alright.'_ Moments later, Harry was at the top of the stairs, making his way down. He had changed his shirt to a concrete grey one that made his jade eyes seem brighter than normal. He smiled, and we both sat down.

Dinner was served by the elves, and we ate in silence. I could always appreciate the way Harry did not use every moment he was able to talk. It was quite nice to eat peacefully with another being close by. It made me want to strangle other guests I had invited for dinner in the past. Lucius could drag on for eternity complaining, and sucking up, as could Bellatrix. They were both just awful to be around more than absolutely necessary.

I had finished my dinner just as Harry pushed his plate away. The plates were retrieved and I rose. Harry followed, and we made our way to the private meeting room once more, Draco and Lucius already awaiting us. We all sat and started off the meeting.

"We shall discuss the factors we had left off at last time." I looked to Harry. He had a hopeful look to his eyes. That strange feeling came back to me. It told me not to make Harry disband the Order, to forget all my current plans. But I was more clever than the feeling. I easily pushed it aside and continued on with the meeting. "Harry, you will ask the Order to disband tomorrow night. That should give you enough time to plan out your arguments."

I felt so accomplished. I had won over that petty feeling that kept me from progress. I would overcome all my opponents. I would rid the world of useless beings, letting the fittest, and purest, to rule. It was all coming together.

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why had nothing changed? I had thought everything would have changed because of us, that he wouldn't try to kill anyone, or hate muggles, or be so damned evil. I had thought he would have given up all that for me, so we could be happy together and not have a care in the world. Yet here we were, Tom still asking me to disband the Order, not respecting anything I said; not a thing had changed. We were still two sides of a war trying to force each other onto the other side. Was that was this was about? He was using this as a sick method to make me become evil? I didn't care anymore. My heart hurt my chest. I needed to get away, to think about things without being pressured to make a decision. I needed to forget this.

I grabbed my wand and began to apparate away, but Tom grabbed my shirt, and so we both arrived in the room with the memory bottles.

"What the fuck, Tom? Can't you just leave me alone for a moment?"

He completely ignored my questions. "Harry, what are we doing here?"

"I want to forget everything. Nothing has changed." I shook my head and clenched my fists, trying so hard to hold back the tears that were trying to come into my eyes. I was so hurt, it was unreal.

"Everything has changed, Harry." Tom's beautiful blood eyes stared into mine, and my injured heart pounding against my chest.

"Everything has changed? Then why do you still expect this from me?"

"Harry, this is work. It has nothing to do with-"

"WORK? Work wouldn't matter if things had changed." I interrupted. "We can find a compromise somewhere, Tom. This is just too much to ask, especially now."

"This matter will not be left alone. We need to decide immediately. We must do something."

"No." I couldn't think of anything to argue with that. I really just wanted an answer to the question that haunted my mind, but I didn't dare ask it. "Tom, you won't do this."

"And why not?" His eyes were filled with rage, but his voice stayed dangerously quiet.

"Because of what we have. I won't do this, and you have to respect that. That is how we are going to make this work, Tom. I would do the same thing for you."

"I've never asked that of you. Why would you do such a thing?"

"Because I love you!"

The room grew quiet. Tom's rage drained from his eyes and was replaced with something else, but it was not what I expected. I didn't see his eyes become soft, as they had when we made love, or feel his mind relax. He didn't even respond. He just looked at me. I grew a bit nervous, and a terrible feeling gnawed at my stomach. "I love you, Tom," I repeated quietly, waiting for him to smile and embrace me, or kiss me, like they did in the muggle movies, but he didn't move. My mind raced and my lungs burned without air. Why wasn't he answering? I knew he loved me back, so why wasn't he saying anything? I stood and my heart beat impatiently. Something was wrong; terribly, terribly wrong. 'Tom.' I whispered, much of my voice lost. 'Don't you love me?'

'_No.' _a familiar voice in my head thought. But, it couldn't be him. Tom loved me, I knew he did. But why was he telling me no?

_I…I don't understand._

"No. I don't love you, Harry. I…only wanted what I took."

_You…used me?_ I backed into my small table, and the little pink and green bottle flew off and smashed against the floor.

Instantly, ghosted hands were all over me, and my ass ached and burned, and tears came into my eyes, but I couldn't scream out for help, or get away. The horrible memories filled in the black spots in my mind, and everything made sense. The reason I didn't want that first kiss, what Snape meant when he talked about what happened when I was eight, and why I thought everything Tom and I did together was so wrong. And Tom knew. And he did the same thing, only this time, I wanted it. It was some cruel, sick joke. My world came crashing down once that revelation hit me. Tom was no better than my uncle. He didn't love me, but just used me like some whore. He didn't love me, but made me think I loved him so I would be under his control. He didn't love me… My heart broke into a million tiny pieces. A horrible pain worse than any Cruciatus Curse came over me, but I continued to look into his eyes, searching for something to tell me he was lying. He didn't love me… I didn't want to believe it, but everything told me it was true. Everything in the world went dark, and the floor met my knees with a loud thump, and a sharp pain ran through my body. He didn't love me…

I apparated away.

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><p><strong>:o I feel so guilty for writing that. But it HAD to happen. :( Poor Harry… I'M SORRY HARRY!<strong>

**Harry: No! You're not forgiven! I hate you!**

**Me: Noooooooooo! *runs away and cries***

**Please review! M'kay thanks. **

**1 .I know I normally have footnotes here about the other languages and stuff, but I basically translated the entire thing, so I figured it wasn't necessary. I had a lot of fun messing with my translation app on my iPod. :) The languages I used were Arabic, Japanese, Swedish, Serbian, Italian, French, and Icelandic. SO much fun, you guys should try it sometime. :)**


	25. Lonely Distress

**Chapter 25: Lonely Distress**

**I'm so sorry! I know, I know. Poor Harry. But here is the next chapter, all ready for you guys! :) And let me just say, this is the most reviews I've ever gotten for a chapter. **

**YaoiCookies87: Hahaha. That's right! Make Tom apologize! I promise they won't fight for TOO long…Thanks! :)**

**Aliengirlguy: Thanks. :)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: I know. :( But it had to be done.**

**AidenVanHelsing: Thanks for reviewing! :) And for liking my evil chapter. **

**AyaseFanGirl: Thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry I've upset you. I promise it gets better! T-T**

**xxSnowxAngelxx: Yes, I know. Poor Harry. Hahaha, okay. :)**

**Bluetoads: I know, I'm so cruel. T-T And Harry would have a hard time getting his stuff. It's at the Burrow, and no one there knows where Tom lives, so it would be difficult. Maybe sometime later. And Snape knows what happened because Snape knows all…But really, I was thinking Snape would have kept an eye on him personally, to make sure he was alright (which he wasn't :o) **

**Anastasiyafokina: Thanks for reviewing! Really? I'm your first? :D You make me blush. Thanks for reading!**

**TheUnknown03: Thanks for reviewing! No, nothing like that. It's just because Snape really loved Harry's mom, he feels like he is a fatherly figure that Harry never really had. I know! I'm so mean. T-T But I'm glad you won't stop reading. :)**

**Reshmi Solaris: Thanks for reviewing! Yes, Tom sure did make a mess of things. Hehehe, but maybe he can fix it.**

**Frostfire613: Thanks for reviewing! :) I update almost every day (unless something odd happens). No need to worry yourself. I promise I wouldn't make you wait too long after such an evil chapter.**

**Bear with me; I have two song quotes that are practically the entire songs. But they work SO WELL for this chapter; I just had to use all of them!**

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><p>"I'm waiting in the dark<br>I thought that you'd be here by now

Isn't anyone trying to find me?  
>Won't somebody come take me home?<br>It's a damn cold night  
>Trying to figure out this life<br>Won't you take me by the hand?  
>Take me somewhere new<p>

Cause nothing's going right  
>And everything's a mess<br>And no one likes to be alone

Why is everything so confusing?  
>Maybe I'm just out of my mind<p>

I don't know who you are"

-_I'm With You_ by Avril Lavigne

"I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so  
>I should have held on tight<br>I never should have let you go  
>I didn't know nothing<br>I was stupid, I was foolish  
>I was lying to myself<p>

Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself  
>Cause I didn't know you<br>Cause I didn't know me  
>But I thought I knew everything<br>I never felt  
>The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice<br>Or have your touch and kiss your lips  
>Cause I don't have a choice<p>

When you left I lost a part of me  
>It's still so hard to believe<br>Come back, baby please  
>Cause we belong together"<p>

-_We Belong Together_ by Mariah Carey

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

The world closed in on me. Not in the way it used to when I was depressed. It was definitely different this time. Before my whole body was numb and I didn't speak. Now my whole world went white, and I was burning with pure pain. My senses turned off and my throat couldn't produce sound. The floor underneath me disappeared and the walls were gone and the world spun around me. I couldn't feel anything but fiery needles running through my cold blood. I hated this.

_Things I hate in the world:_

_This bloody fucking war_

_Being the boy-who-lived/Savior/Chosen one_

_Uncle Vernon_

_Being haunted by dead people I care about_

_Being alone_

_Having nightmares/dreams_

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

I shook my head. That wasn't right, not at all. I loved Tom. _I still do._ I didn't hate him. I _couldn't_ hate him, not even when he was my worst enemy who was trying to kill me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I was completely useless. I always have, and always will, feel that way. I was nothing but a tool for people to use at their disposal. I was just a sacrificial pawn. I didn't matter for any reasons other than selfishness from those who use me. _Pawn…tool…useless…_ those words repeated themselves in my head. I wanted to get away from here. It was cold, and dark; though I had no idea where it was, I didn't like it much. My eyes wouldn't open. I was paralyzed. My hand had lost my wand somewhere, and I had no idea where it was. My lungs burned for air, and scorching tears burned my face as they fell.

_Tom will save me,_ a part of me thought. _He didn't mean what he said. He'll come looking for me, and then find me here, then we can go back home and everything will be back to normal._ _Normal…_ I had honestly never had a normal life. It was one of the many parts of my life that was a curse on me, along with having a crappy childhood and being some stupid savior. I curled up into a ball, trying to block out the cold that was slowly eating away my skin, down to my bones.

Then, a cold tingly feeling came over me. I lifted my head, trying to hear footsteps of some sort, but there was only dead silence. I hadn't inhaled in over a minute now, but my mutinous throat wouldn't allow air to enter. I was slowly dying, I could tell. More hot tears poured down my cheeks. _I don't want to die._ The cold tingle caressed my cheek, and my eyes flew open. My vision was blurry at first, but a moment later, I saw the ghosts. All in a semi-circle around me, it was my mom, my dad, Sirius, Cedric, and Dumbledore, then behind them stood a large amount of other, nameless people.

My mother lifted her hand, and out jumped a small doe made of light. It ran over to me, leaving a trail of flowers behind it, falling to the ground, where it had been. It stopped before me; I reached out a hand to touch it, and it vanished. Along with it, my mother vanished, and my father. My chest heaved once more, sharp and dizzying; I felt like blood had escaped into them. Sirius walked over to me and looked down at me, his face kind and caring. More tears fell down my face. Something out of the corner of my eye moved. I looked and saw Cedric had vanished as well. Sirius bowed his head, and took a small step back. I couldn't bear losing him again; my hand went to grab him, but he, too, vanished.

Only Dumbledore remained, that twinkle in his eyes, and he gave a small laugh at my pain, as did all the ghosts behind him. The pieces of my heart filled with fury towards him, but there was nothing to be done about it. They just laughed at me, their eyes cold and menacing. I just sat, helpless to the ones who enjoyed my sorrow. My eyes began to blur once more, and sting. From the crowd emerged a few figures, their appearance very distorted due to my tears, but I knew who they were. The three of them approached me.

"Harry," one of them said, his voice shaking with anger. "How could you do this to us?"

I shook my head. "It's not like that, Ron. I promise. I know what you're thinking. It isn't like that anymore. We can still-"

"No, Harry. Once you're evil, you never go back."

"You've brought this upon yourself, Harry" said a feminine voice, cold and appalled.

"Hermione, I thought-"

"You didn't think, Harry. It was so foolish of you. And now look at what's happened. You did this, Harry."

"No…I didn't…"

"Harry, we all know that is a lie." A vicious monotone entered.

I looked up, trying to decipher which figure was Snape's. "Not you, too…"

"Harry, you've been like a son to me. But now, I am so disappointed in you. I want nothing to do with your filth." His disgusted tone only added to my tears.

Everyone hated me, even my friends, my family, my love. I was the being everyone wanted to murder with their bare hands, to watch the light leave my eyes, to rip my heart from my chest. But I didn't care what most people thought of me. I just wanted one person. One. But he didn't want me. No, any easily manipulated boy would do. Any prophesized enemy. Any Boy-Who-Lived. I never wanted to be any of that. I wanted to be Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Had-A-Normal-Life. Even my accomplishments seemed unfit for me. Youngest seeker ever? I wasn't any better than anyone else. Triwizard Champion? More like luck (and not dying, of course). Leader of an Army? No one else was going to lead it, I was the only option. I had done nothing in my life that would have been note-worthy if I had not been who I was.

I looked back up, and the ghosts were gone. I was glad, but sad at the same time. I didn't want to hear my friends say they hated me, but I feared the real people would be much harsher. I looked at my surroundings, now that I could see and breathe again. It was so dark, I could barely make out the swings and spinning wheel of the terribly familiar park near my uncle's house. It brought back awful memories of my horrible childhood; getting beaten up by Dudley and his gang, running away and sleeping here to get away. But no one would find me here, unless they were looking for me. I hoped they were looking for me, but something told me they wouldn't.

_Where is he?_ I thought. _He should be here by now. _I hadn't known how long I was sitting there, but it was more than long enough for him to trace my magical signature, or use our connection to see what I saw. But he was nowhere in sight. _He's not looking._ I crawled around on the floor, trying to reach the swings, and sit and think like I always used to. I stubbed my hand on a few sticks, then scraped my knees on some rocks, and finally cut my finger on small piece of glass hidden in the dirt. I fell to my side, crying with frustration and anger, and so much pain. _He's not looking. That bloody bastard isn't looking._ I pulled my knees to my chest, and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

Harry had disapparated, yet I could not react fast enough to grab him once more. I was stunned, to say the least. Harry had just confessed that he loved me. And I had told him I did not love him. No, not I; it was Voldemort. He was half of my mind, and he had forced me to say such a thing. I still wasn't sure if I loved Harry, of course, but I most certainly did not _not_ love him. I needed Harry here, I would admit that. But why had Voldemort said that? Why had I let him control me? I was most certainly not him at this moment. But I was not Tom Riddle, either. I was not evil, and controlling, and unmerciful, nor was I broken, and weak, and naïve. At this moment, I was infuriated with both of them. Neither knew what they wanted from Harry.

_Foolish nonsense,_ Voldemort thought. _Harry was a worthless boy who is better dead._

_No!_ thought Tom. _Harry was our success! He was the destruction of the muggles! He was our friend!_

_A Dark Lord does NOT have friends!_

_I'm not the Dark Lord. I never wanted to be that. YOU did._

My head ached from the internal struggle. Two sides of my brain, at war with each other. No neutral ground or grey areas. I took a step to steady myself to Accio a pain reliever, but the world spun around me. I reached out my hand for something to steady myself. My hand found something very unstable, and shaky, which caused an eruption of breaking glass. Old, awful, memories ambushed my mind. Killing my father and the rest of my muggle family, being bullied at the Orphanage, performing a terrible curse on two orphans that sent them into silence, realizing my fear of Dumbledore, the pain of making a horcrux, killing Harry's mother, Harry's dream of Sirius, how it hurts to be killed multiple times, the look on the face of a person I murdered; they all rushed into my brain. My eyes saw nothing but these horrible memories (and more) that burdened every fiber of my being, and I felt the burning light that came from the black spaces in my mind being filled.

Once it was over, I felt terrible, and weak. I opened my eyes and looked onto the table where my hand still clutched, even though I had fallen to my knees. One bottle remained on the table, and it glowed, unlike the others had, with a pale blue light, showing a little black figure and a little green figure. It was eerie, and I feared what it might hold. In a moment, I had lost my strength, and my ability to be powerful, from little glass bottles. I picked up the fragile glass bottle and turned it in my shaking hands. The glow illuminated my hands ever so slightly, making them much paler than they really were. I could feel it held something different from the others; something with a greater power, and greater meaning. The glass was cold, and smooth, much like the feel of metal. I felt like my head would split at any moment, but I still continued to study this last vial. Without much reason, I released my grip on the bottle and watched it hit the floor with a magnified crash.

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…And the Dark Lord will mark him as equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..._"

_The prophecy_. It filled the last black spot. I felt different. I was complete, in more ways than one. I had my memories, and my soul. _Most of my soul._ I was still missing part of my soul; part of me. And it was inside the boy who had just disappeared from my life. _Harry..._ I understood now. Why Harry did what he did. What I questioned. I was complete, but still missing so many pieces, of which he had. He had love, and friends. He knew what it felt like, and he was sorry I couldn't feel the same way (he told me so in the Department of Mysteries. I just remembered that in the last bottle, along with the prophecy I stole from Harry when I possessed him). He loved me, very well knowing I couldn't love him back. Who would do such a crazy thing? _Harry, of course_. According to the prophecy, one of us had to kill the other, but I did not want to kill him, and he did not want to kill me. What would we do now? We would both live. We _must_.

I have to find Harry. My manor, of course, had so many wards on it, not even I could find any magical signatures anywhere. I would have to use other methods. My mind was weak, as well, so there was no chance of being able to find his mind. _Note: Do not break several memory vials at once; it results in horrible mind aches and a drain of Legimency abilities_. I would have to find him the hard way. If I were Harry (which I was most definitely not), where would I go to escape? _To trusted ones_. Then my first target would be Severus and the members of the Golden Trio. _I never should have gotten rid of Severus's Dark Mark…I suppose there are always other ways to find an ex-Death Eater._

* * *

><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Snape was back on his feet, pacing the floor of his office at Hogwarts (they had traveled there after Snape was fully sober), trying with all his might to be happy for Harry. He couldn't bring himself to it. Of course, he was never really a happy person to begin with, but he could at least think it would be good. It would complete his plan with fewer problems. The world would be saved quicker. _Harry does have luck after all. How does he maintain it so often?_ Snape shook his head. That was a thought for another day.

Hermione watched Snape move across the room, and back again, from a chair next to his desk. She had asked him several times if he was alright, but every time, he would not answer her. It seemed ignoring her was one of his many talents. She looked back to Ron, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He had made very little progress, if any. There was just no way it would get through his thick skull that Harry was still Harry. _"What about Harry makes you think he's changed, Ron?" "He's gone to bed with the DARK LORD! That's what's changed him!" "And if Harry went to bed with a dragon, would he start to breathe fire?" "No! Of course not, that's mad!" "Exactly. He hasn't changed at all, Ron. You just think he has." "It's completely different 'Mione!"_ She really had tried logic on him, but he was impervious to it. She had to get him to understand, but just enough for him to think Harry wasn't evil.

Crossing the floor once more, Snape pondered how Harry felt about them knowing. Surely he was having a hard time with it as they had. _Not as hard of a time as Weasley…_ That ignorant boy. Didn't he understand Harry needed them to be supportive right now? He couldn't afford to lose his best friend. Snape paused his pacing and rubbed his forehead.

"Are you alright, Professor?"

How would Snape be able to convince Harry that they accepted him, regardless of who he chose to love if his best friend thought he was just as evil as the Dark Lord?

"Professor?"

He would have to convince him that Harry was not the one who was changing…

"Professor!"

…or possibly an Imperious curse would work…

"PROFESSOR SNAPE!"

Snape sighed. "What, Ms. Granger?"

Hermione was a bit surprised at herself for yelling, but she didn't want to be ignored. "Oh. Uh. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. It's not me you should be worrying over." Snape went back to pacing.

Hermione sighed. She knew very well what he was talking about. Ron and Harry were the main concerns right now. As much as she didn't look forward to arguing with Ron again, she really needed to, for Harry's sake.

"Ron," she looked back over to him. He lifted his gaze from the floor to her face. He was not red-faced anymore, and he seemed to be thinking about something before Hermione had called him. Had she made progress after all? She would have to find out. "How are you doing?"

"I'm feeling better, I guess." He shrugged. "Thinking more about what you said," he mumbled.

"Good. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Well, yea. But…" Ron thought more for a second, trying to find a way to explain himself. "…I was just bloody shocked when we found out. We already weren't so sure about him staying there before, being suspicious of You-Know-Who, and all. And that…" he swallowed. "It was…a bit…you know…"

Hermione nodded. "I understand, Ron." She really did. She had felt the same way, but she realized she just wanted Harry to be happy, and if that meant that he and his arch enemy were in love, then she wouldn't be the one to separate them. "But that doesn't mean Harry is evil."

"Quite the opposite in fact." Hermione jumped a bit at her professor's words. She had almost forgotten he was there. "I've been thinking it over, and knowing Harry as the stubborn and pure-hearted boy he was born as, I have reason to believe he might be having an effect on the Dark Lord."

Both Ron and Hermione were a bit surprised. The Dark Lord was becoming good, because of Harry? "So…Harry's not becoming evil. The Dark Lord is becoming good?" Ron said questionably.

"Precisely." Snape gave a curt nod.

"So this isn't a bad thing, then?"

"No. It is rather helpful, actually." His monotone was almost sarcastic.

Hermione smiled. That was exactly what Ron needed to hear. "See?" she said to Ron. "Now we can fully approve of Harry's choice."

They all nodded. Hermione and Snape were glad that Ron had finally seen the good in the relationship. _It's all coming together then,_ Snape thought._ Soon enough, we will visit Harry and tell him, and he will be relieved of his worries about us. _He walked over to the balcony that he enjoyed standing on that looked over the entrance of Hogwarts. It was quite a nice view. He was about to turn back around, but something in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

The Dark Mark was in the sky, green and wicked as ever. The blood drained from Snape's face. The students may not have been here yet, but a Dark Mark at Hogwarts was alarming, especially since it was usually cast over the dead victim of the Death Eaters; he knew this too well. _Someone was murdered just outside of Hogwarts?_ Snape would not wait to find out.

"Stay here. I shall return."

Hermione and Ron looked up to ask what he was talking about, but he was gone. Hermione stood and went over to where he had been standing. She saw the Dark Mark, and her instincts told her to follow after Professor Snape.

"Ron, it's the Death Eaters. They're here. We have to help Snape." She grabbed Ron's arm, and apparated to the front entrance of Hogwarts. Snape was already a ways away when they arrived. They ran right after him.

"I told you both to wait in my office," he said when they had caught up to him.

"Yes, but we couldn't let you have all the fun." Ron smiled for the first time in a few days.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Be prepared for danger."

"We always are, Professor," Hermione said. It was true, after all, because of all the trouble Harry seemed to get himself into when they traveled with him. They had learned to be alert, and enjoy danger (to an extent).

They could see the spot now, the Dark Mark just over head, and a figure standing in the shadows. Snape slowed his pace, until he finally stopped right across from the figure. Hermione and Ron stopped just behind him, ready to back him up if necessary. Snape scanned the outline of the figure, and matching it to the only possible person it could belong to.

"What are you doing here…Tom?" He would admit, using his name was odd. "What has happened?" Something was obviously wrong if the Dark Lord was at Hogwarts.

Tom sighed internally. Just because he did not want to be Voldemort any longer did not mean he liked his given name. It was perfectly fine when Harry said it, but something about its sound was different when it came off of other people's tongues. And Tom sighed again, because he realized how much he missed Harry.

_Tom?_ thought Hermione and Ron at the same time. They had never heard of a Death Eater named Tom. But then it struck Hermione. _That's the Dark Lord._

"I'm here, Severus…" Tom stepped from the shadows, sending Ron into a mental panic attack (_Bloody hell, we have to fight the Dark Lord?_). "Because Harry has disapparated, and I have reason to believe he is here, with you."

"He is not here." Snape narrowed his eyes. "I would think you should know that, with all of your connections."

"I am…not able to find him at this time." Tom was still dizzy, not to mention mentally scarred. But the only important thing was finding Harry. "Do you have any clues where he might go to be alone?"

"Why can't you find him?" Hermione was beginning to be angry with him.

Ron looked to Hermione, then back to Tom. "And why did he leave?"

_It is a very long, and complicated story, which you would not like to hear, _he thought, but sighed and decided it would be best if they knew. "Well I…" he searched for words. "We had a meeting. Harry didn't like what I had told him to do, and we got into an argument. Then he apparated to this room, and we continued to argue. Then he told me he loved me and I…I told him I didn't love him back. Then he disapparated."

Hermione knew it would happen sooner or later. She had known, deep down, that You-Know-Who was not capable of love. She hadn't wanted it to happen, of course. _Poor Harry…_

"That still does not explain why you cannot find him." Snape was analyzing everything he heard, using his investigative skills to find clues as to where Harry night be.

"I had these bottles. You can place your memories in them, and erase them from your mind. I had a bit of a shock when I realized Harry had left, and I knocked them all over, causing my mind to be overwhelmed and weak. And my manor has wards specifically so no magic signature can be traced anywhere."

Ron was over his shock that this was the Dark Lord before them. There would obviously be no fighting him, but searching for Harry. He didn't know where Harry disappeared to when he was angry, or sad. He knew Harry always came back, but this time, it was definitely a different situation.

Snape nodded slowly. _So he has no way to track Harry. And Harry is heartbroken._ "And how did you find us if you cannot find Harry?"

Tom felt like he should just explain his life's story while he was at it. He was just telling them everything, no small details spared. "I have a special looking glass that shows who you wish to see. It sounds perfect for our situation, I know, yet it only works on certain people. I have never been able to find Harry in it."

"Maybe one of us can." Hermione said.

Snape nodded. "Possibly. But first, are there any other details we should know?"

Tom growled internally. _Every little detail…_ "Harry also had a memory bottle. Just one, which held… the terrible event that happened when he was eight years of age. He broke it just after I told him."

_That changes everything._ Snape's eyes widened. "How long had he forgotten that? Before or after you two…had relations."

"Before." Tom was piecing it together. He knew how Harry would feel about him now. He would be no different than that muggle. _I will murder that man when I get the chance…_

"Harry is in terribly trouble. Let us go, quickly, to your manor." Snape motioned Hermione and Ron forward.

They grabbed the sleeves of his robe like small children, and they arrived seconds later in a hallway similar to the one they had seen last time. Tom silently appeared just seconds later. "This way." He walked down the hallway, to the third door from the one at the end of the hall. He unlocked it, and they stepped into the almost empty room. Tom stood before the glass. "Show me Harry," he tried, with no success. He clenched his jaw.

"I shall try." Snape stepped forward. "Show me Harry." Still, nothing. "How does this work exactly?"

"I've already told you. You ask it to show you a person, and they appear in the crystal."

"Then why can't we see Harry?" Snape questioned.

Tom did not have an answer. He had found it in the house of an old lady he once robbed and killed to get Salazar Slytherin's Locket and Helga Hufflepuff's Cup so he could turn them into horcruxes. He did not know very many things about it, and it most certainly did not come with an instruction manual.

"Here, let us try." Hermione stepped forward, Ron in tow. "Show me Harry potter." She looked into the cracked glass, and waited for something to happen, but nothing did. "You try, Ron."

Ron stepped towards the looking glass. He found it odd looking. "Um…show me Harry…please?" He waited a moment, and nothing happened still. He shrugged.

"Why can't we see him?" Hermione was getting worried about him. She didn't exactly know what kind of situation he was in, since she had no idea what had happened when he was eight (and she wondered why Harry had never told her something awful had happened). But she did know Harry was very hurt, and she knew he was never so keen on living…

"I wish I knew." Tom was worried for Harry, as well. _Why on Earth do I feel worried for him?_ He was still sorting through his feelings, but he felt closer and closer to the answer each time he was distressed about finding Harry.

"Then we will have to search the old-fashioned way. Starting with places he would never be found. I say we split up and search different places we think he may be."

"But where would he hide?" Ron had no more hints as to where that would be as anyone else.

"For now, we can just check the major places he has spent time around. I can search Hogwarts."

"I'll search the Burrow," Ron volunteered. "I don't know if there is anywhere to hide there, especially with so many people there right now, but he could be around there."

"Ms. Granger, you will search his muggle house." Hermione nodded. "And Tom… you can search your manor."

"If he were here, I would know. I feel so…" he hesitated. This was yet another detail he did not want to share. "…empty when he isn't here."

Snape looked at Tom a moment, studied him, then pondered another place for him to search. "Then I suppose you can search his muggle house. Ms. Granger," he turned to her. "Search the meeting place of the Order. We will meet back here in one hour. At any sign of Harry, send your Patronus with a message to me, or Tom."

Ron disapparated first; then Hermione. Tom had never seen Harry's muggle house before. He wondered what it would look like. Snape placed his hand on Tom's shoulder and they arrived at a small, ordinary house, in a row of other ordinary houses. Snape released his shoulder, then left, leaving Tom on the dark street dimly lit with street lights, thinking of how terrible he had been to Harry. _I know you can't hear me, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I miss you Harry. I've been a fool, and I am still learning how to be human. Please, come back._

* * *

><p><strong>So? What do you think? I'm making it all better, see? Harry, you're gonna be better in the end, I promise!<strong>

**Harry: I better be! I can't believe you would do this to me!**

**Me: *cries* I'm sorry! I had to do it! I'll make it better! Please forgive me!**

**Harry: No! You're mean! I hate you!**

**Me: WAHHHHH! T-T**

**:) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! I always reply to all my reviews! :) M'kay, thanks!**


	26. To Deceive

**Chapter 26: To Deceive **

**Really REALLY short chapter. I'm already really far into the next one, but I felt this was necessary to the story. Yea. I'll answer my reviews next chapter, since I'm not really counting this as a full one. Don't review to this chapter, please. That would make my life so much easier. Review to chapter 25!**

* * *

><p>"I dreamed a dream in time gone by<br>When hope was high  
>And life worth living<br>I dreamed that love would never die

Then I was young and unafraid  
>And dreams were made and used and wasted<br>There was no ransom to be paid

And still I dream he'll come to me  
>That we will live the years together<br>But there are dreams that cannot be  
>And there are storms we cannot weather<p>

I had a dream my life would be  
>So different from this hell I'm living<br>So different now from what it seemed  
>Now life has killed the dream I dreamed"<p>

-_I Dreamed a Dream_ by Les Miserables Cast

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I was in a white room. There was nothing there except me, wearing my grey shirt and jeans, and pure white. I wasn't even sure it was a room, really; it was more of a space. But there I stood, surrounded by glowing white everywhere I looked. I took a step, and then another. I wasn't sure if I was moving forward, exactly, but I continued to take steps. It was a rather bright place, and just looking at it made my eyes hurt. I kept walking, and I saw a shadowed figure up ahead.

"Excuse me!" The figure moved slightly. They were so far away; I could barely tell they had turned to face me. "Do you know where I am?"

The figure continued to move in an odd way. It wasn't until it came closer, that I realized they were walking to me. They came into better focus; they had a slim outline, rather nice hair, and seemed to float when they walked. The figure grew closer, and more details came into focus. Dark hair, pressed clothes, broad shoulders, ruby eyes.

My breath slowed, but my heart raced. That person. I knew that person. And I didn't want to see him right now, but there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, in this pure white space. I didn't want to see the man I loved, the one who had broken my heart, the one who didn't care enough to even look for me.

"Harry," he said in his smooth, absolutely amazing voice that penetrated my ears and sent electric shocks straight to my heart. "Come here." He held his arms wide open for me to embrace him. I couldn't help it. I loved him, and I needed him. I ran over to him as fast as I could and let him take me in his warm arms. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm so sorry, Harry. I love you, and I don't ever want anything bad to happen to you."

Tears fell from my eyes. I had waited for him to say that ever since that first kiss. _I love you._ The words were so simple, really, but they were words I heard so few times in my life. And he meant them. I loved him back. I had waited for this moment to come. And it was here. I buried my face in his shoulder, and he hugged me tighter.

"I missed you, Harry. Please, don't ever do that again."

I nodded. _Anything for you, Tom._ I wrapped my hands tighter around him. I never wanted to let him go. He was mine now. And no one else's. Tom's fingers brushed through my hair. I looked back up to him, and he pressed his forehead to mine, and we started into each other's eyes. His were so beautiful, just like I had remembered. I would give anything to stare at them forever.

I loved this moment. There was nothing more I had wanted in the world. But still, tears of sorrow rolled down my cheeks, and my chest shook with sobs. Something was off. I couldn't tell what it was, but this was not right.

More tears rolled down my cheeks, and I pulled away from Tom. I untangled my arms from his, and took a step back. _This is a dream. You're a dream._ I fell to my knees, sobbing. My mind was tricking me. It had invaded my sleep and gave me what I desired with my whole being, but then planned to take it all away when I woke up. How absolutely cruel. This wasn't, and it probably would never happen again. Tom didn't care for me, like he did in my dreams. I would live my life, living with this new burden. Now he didn't want to kill me, he _was_ killing me, slowly and painfully. _But that was the plan all along,_ I told myself. _That was always what he planned to do. And you fell for it. He baited you, and you fell hard for him._

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><p><strong><em>:) That's it. Next chapter tomorrow!<em>**


	27. Unsuccessful Wishes

**Chapter 27: Unsuccessful Wishes**

**Hey guys. So after last chapter, I started writing this one, and I heard this song (2****nd**** one below) come one, and I literally started balling. I'm so sorry I put you through hell, Harry, and I'm gonna make it worse, but I promise it will get better. Please, PLEASE forgive me.**

**Harry: I'll think about it.**

**Me: Yay!**

**Awesome-ness!**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: It's so sad, I know. :(**

**YaoiCookies87: Hehehe, maybe. **

**TheUnknown03: I know, I'm so evil. :) Yes, Harry sees Snape as a father figure. :D **

**Hehehe, so here is the next chapter, guys! :) Enjoy!**

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><p>"If I die young, bury me in satin<br>Lay me down on a bed of roses  
>Sink me in the river, at dawn<br>Send me away with the words of a love song"

-_If I die Young_ by The Band Perry

"Tell my mother  
>Tell my father<br>I've done the best I can  
>To make them realize this is my life<br>I hope they understand"

-_Second Chance_ by Shinedown

""I forgot to say out loud  
>How beautiful you really are to me<br>How can I be without?

And I need you  
>I'm sorry<br>Please don't leave me"  
>-<em>Please Don't Leave Me<em> by P!nk

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Ron arrived back at the Burrow. He figured everyone would be asleep so late at night, but he needed to search for Harry. He walked through the door, and was immediately caught off guard. His whole family was sitting in the living room.

"What is everyone doing up?"

Ms. Seaside stood up. "We were worried about you! You had just left with Severus and Hermione, and you hadn't returned in a while. No one wanted to go to bed until you cane back. Is everything alright?"

Ron sighed. "Well, Harry's gone missing. I've come here to search. Maybe any of you guys have seen him?" He looked around the room. Everyone shook their head, or murmured a small "no". "Alright then. Search the house, maybe he's hiding somewhere. I'll go check outside." Everyone stood, bustling here and there, like a busy store.

Ron squeezed his way out the door through the ruckus. He was back outside, hearing only the muffled sounds from inside. He silenced his feet, and began to head for the field, but stopped just before it. He had an hour to search this _entire_ field. Not very likely to happen. He sighed and thought. _What would Hermione do? Use a spell of course! Now what was the spell to reveal people again? Bloody hell... _He racked his brain.

The door opened and closed behind him. He turned and saw Ginny in her night clothes, walking towards him. "Hey, Ron. Do you need some help out here?"

"Yea. That would be nice. Do you remember the spell to reveal people? I can't remember it for the life of me..."

She pulled out her wand. "_**Homenum Revelio**_". Nothing happened.

Ron turned and walked to the other side of the field. "_**Homenum Revelio**_!" Nothing. "I guess he's not here."

"Well, let's go see if anyone inside found him."

Ron nodded and they both walked inside the bustling house. "Has anyone found anything?"

"Nope." Bill said.

"Nothing here." Mr. Weasley said.

"Only a few of Fred's dirty socks underneath the bed." George said.

"They weren't mine. There yours." said Fred.

"I haven't seen anything out of place." Ms. Weasley said. "But we'll keep looking!"

Percy and Charlie came down the stairs. "Nothing up there." said Percy.

Ron sighed. "We didn't find anything out in the field, either. How long has it been since we've started looking?"

Percy looked to the clock. "About an hour."

Ron growled under his breath. "Alright. I have to go check and see if the others found anything, but keep looking, and we'll keep each other informed, alright? Patronus charms. Be back late, mum." he gave her a quick hug, which she refused to let end.

'Be safe, Ron.' she whispered.

"I will, mum." Rom went outside and apparated back to Hogwarts.

Hermione had arrived at the Grimmauld Place not two seconds after Ron had arrived at the Burrow. She had taken two steps inside, her wand at the ready, when Kreacher appeared. "What you be needen?" _Filthy mudblood_, he thought.

"Have you seen Harry Potter here?" she asked, completely impervious to the dirty looks she was receiving.

"Kreacher has not seen Harry Potter in ages."

Hermione sighed. "Alright. Thank you, Kreacher. I'm going to look around and see if I find him. Can you help me?"

"Kreacher would know if Harry Potter was in this house."

"Alright. I'll give it a look-over, just to make sure."

She walked around the house elf and into the house. She checked the dining room and kitchen. "_**Homenum Revelio**_". Nothing happened, and so she moved to the other various rooms downstairs. There was nothing in them as well. She walked over to the stairs. She was halfway up when Kreacher appeared before her once more.

"Kreacher already told ya. Harry Potter is not here. Kreacher would know when his _master_ was here." he said the word master with an awful tone.

"Yes, I know. But I'm just checking to make sure he isn't hiding somewhere." She was trying to be nice, because she really hated to be bossy to elves (they had rights too). But this was an important matter; she needed to find Harry if he was here.

"Harry Potter is not hiding here."

Hermione was losing hope. "I'm really sorry for this, Kreacher. _**Pertificus Totalus**_." Her spell hit Kreacher, and he froze in place, not able to move.

Hermione hurried around him up the stairs. She checked the bedrooms, but nothing. She sighed again, and went back down the stairs. "I'm really sorry, Kreacher." she released the bind.

Kreacher started muttering to himself (something about blood that Hermione didn't catch). She looked to the clock. It had been nearly an hour. She needed to get back to Hogwarts. She rubbed her forehead, which hurt from all the worry that was building inside of it, then disapparated.

After dropping off Tom, Snape had arrived back at Hogwarts. It was quite a large school, and so he needed as much help as he could get. He was walking to his office and saw some teachers in the hallway; Minerva, and Filius. He headed towards them.

"Good evening, Severus. What are you doing up so late?" McGonagall asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, but I have something much more important. It seems Mr. Potter has gone missing, and he may be hiding somewhere in the school. Please alert others who are on campus and then begin your search."

They quickly nodded and hurried off. Snape decided against going to his office. _Harry would not hide there, of course. I need to be searching. _He changed course for the Room of Requirement. The one place where Harry could hide, and no one would find him for a long time.

He arrived at the wall, and waited. A few moments passed. He paced before the wall. Then, a door appeared. Snape walked through the doors into a room filled to the brim with random items. He sighed. "_**Homenum Revelio**_." Nothing appeared.

He rolled his eyes. Why could Potter not pick an obvious place to hide? Snape turned and left the room, already set where else Harry would possibly hide. He arrived at Gryffindor Tower. The painting asked for the password, and he gave it. The door swung open and revealed the common room. Typically, he would not enter the rooms, but this was completely necessary. He found nothing in the common room, and so he checked all the boys dorms, unsure of which one belonged to Harry, but found nothing. He immediately sent his Patronus to Minerva, asking if she had found anything.

He walked out of the Gryffindor rooms, and decided to check the Quidditch field next. She had just reached the arches that led outside when a cat made of light appeared at his feet with a message.

"I haven't found anything, Severus. I've checked the lake and Quidditch field. Rubus is checking the forest, and Filius is checking the Great hall. There is no sign of him anywhere, I'm afraid."

Snape sighed and turned around, heading back to his office. He needed time to think. He was wasting time walking there, and so he just apparated there. He looked at the clock. It was nearing an hour since he had begun looking. He needed to get back and meet the others. They had not sent him any messages, and so they either had no found him, of they had sent their Patronuses to Tom, which he highly doubted. But still, he did wish Harry would be found. He was not in a good situation, and every second was crucial to finding him before he would do something irrational due to his state. He took a quick glance around his office before disapperating.

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I woke up, but it was still dark outside. That was the worst dream I've ever had. I sat up, my back aching from the hard metal of the playground's spinning wheel. It wasn't meant to sleep on, but it was better than the dirt (seeing as how there wasn't much grass there). My eyes burned from crying all my tears and not leaving any left for my eyes to stay moist. I touched my cheeks; they were wet, and so cold, I couldn't feel my fingers in them, just a hot feeling. My whole body was cold, I realized. It was late at night, windy, and I had nothing but a shirt and jeans, not even any shoes. I shivered as the wind brushed past my bare arms. I needed something warm.I looked around for my wand, but I could hardly see anything it was so dark.

"_**Accio wand**_." I held out my hand, and into my hand it flew. I casted a quick warming charm over me, but it was not satisfying, and wore off before I had the chance to defrost. I was about to cat another in its place, but I saw no point. It was not the warmth I needed. The warmth I needed could only come from the body heat of my love. But that would never happen. Not anymore.

Of all the things that he _could_ have done, like Avada me, Imperio me, or Crucio me, he chose this. I didn't know this was one of the options of torture, but it sure was bloody fucking effective. I hated him, _so much_, for doing this to me. I hated him for lying, and making me think he loved me, and taking advantage of me, and asking me to do things I didn't want to do to my friends, and making me practice horrible curses on rats. I hated him, so much.

But I couldn't help but love him. I loved the way his hair would fall out of place, and the way he would kiss me, and the soft look in his eyes, and how he would ask my permission, and how he waited for me to come to start eating meals, and how his gorgeous crimson eyes could stare into my soul, into my part of his soul. He was so kind when he wanted to be. He was just altered by his past, as I have been. I wished others could have seen that, but only someone who understands what he has been through would know what it takes to overcome it.

Yet none of that mattered anymore. I wasn't going to help him, or help the world, or help myself. I wanted nothing to do with Tom. I couldn't bear seeing him again; it would rip me to pieces. I didn't want to have to face him ever again. Not only had my heart been broken, but my life's purpose had failed. _I'm so sorry, Mom. I know you sacrificed your life to keep me alive, but I've failed you. I couldn't do it. I'm not strong enough. I'm so weak. I don't deserve your protection._

I shivered again. It was bloody cold outside. I stood, trying to let my frozen blood flow through my body and heat up, but it did nothing. I was going to freeze to death. And I would be okay with that. If I was of no worth alive, then no one would care if I died.

It was decided. I apparated away, this time, I arrived at an uncomfortably familiar muggle house. _Well, if I am going to die, I'm taking him with me._ I felt nothing, not guilt or remorse, as I walked back to this dreaded house with murderous intensions. In fact, I felt a power I never had felt before. An awesome power that I could take the life of my horrible muggle uncle, yet nothing could stop me, not any muggle, or even any wizard. I was going to kill the very person who made my life hell, and then kill myself. That was the plan.

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

I stared at Harry's muggle house for quite a while before I walked to the door. It was locked, but I easily unlocked it. It was such a small house. Nothing was unordinary about it. It was a plain house that blended in with the others. It was empty of any type of furniture. Just plain, spacious rooms that held nothing but air. It would be hard for Harry to hide here. I walked through to the kitchen, which was smaller than my closet. I felt nothing; no presence of any kind, yet I continued to walk around the house curious as to how Harry had grown up.

I left the kitchen in a few steps, and made my way down a hallway. I looked up, and there were stairs there, and a door to my left. _"Small room. Yea. My room was a cupboard under the stairs. This is like a mansion compared to that..." _Harry's voice ran through my head. Here I was, at his bedroom. I opened the door, and looked inside. It was so very tiny, I wasn't even sure I would fit inside it. _How had he spent so many years of his life in such a small place?_ And then I answered my own question. He had no choice but to stay here. It didn't matter how much he wanted to leave. This was his home, and until another one came around, he would not leave this one. It was an awfully familiar situation, of which I did not want to remember, but was forced to.

I closed the door, and walked up the stairs, which creaked underneath my weight. At the top of the stairs, I could see there were several normal-sized (but still very small to me) bedrooms. Three of them. I assumed one was for his guardians, but there were still two more. _Why could Harry not stay in one of those ones?_ I walked into the first one. It was a horrible mess, even without anything there. There were stains on the rug, and marks on the wall. Someone had terribly abused this room. And it smelt like…ham? I shook my head. _So far, these muggles couldn't take care of anything correctly if their life depended on it._

I walked over to the next room. There was a bare window, and a hook on the wall that might have held something (and judging by its size, it wasn't a painting). Harry could have very easily slept in here, but he was forced under the stairs. _How awful._ I went to the next room. It was larger than the other two, but just as damaged as the first one (yet its stains in the carpet were red like wine). Harry should have used his magic against them. They deserved it.

My mind then started buzzing a bit. It was such an odd feeling, like there was adrenaline collecting. It made my emptiness whole once more, and I understood what it meant. Harry was here, now. I froze where I stood. He would find me, and then what would happen? Would he run again? I wouldn't let him. I needed time to explain myself. I had done so to just about everyone, but him.

The door creaked open downstairs, and footsteps came into the house.

"Bloody fucking hell." _They're gone,_ he thought.

I took a step toward the door, and the floor squeaked. I paused. '_**Expecto Patronum**_' I whispered. My basilisk slithered away, taking my message with it.

"Who's here?" Harry seemed startled. "I know there's someone else here. Show yourself."

I didn't dare move. I wanted so much to go to him, and explain everything, but I feared what he would say. Maybe he would not love me anymore. Maybe he would hate me. He would hate me, and I would be foolish enough to attempt to apologize.

"_**Homenum Revelio!**_" A few seconds of nothing passed. "I know your there! I saw you! Now come out and show yourself, whoever you are." Harry's voice was full of frustration.

I walked out of the room, and down the creaking stairs. Harry stood in the empty living room, just as I had remembered him; his unruly black hair in a mess, bright green eyes glowing in the darkness, pale skin so much paler in his grey shirt. But now he shook, and there was darkness under his eyes that I could not specify whether they were shadows or bags. It was almost unreal, seeing him here. He was so out of place. Harry looked over and saw me, the blood draining from his face.

"Harry, I-"

"_**Petrificus Totalus!**_" I stopped.

Harry's bright eyes were fierce. "I don't know why you're here, but I don't intend to find out." His voice was deep and dangerous. "I just want you to know what you've put me through the in last few hours of my life. I may have gone through hell and survived, on several occasions, but this…" his clenched fists shook, as well as his voice. "This is worse than anything I've ever endured! And I…can't believe what you did. But it's done, and I'm done! I came here to give someone what they deserved. But they aren't here!" Tears came to his eyes. "So I'll only ask one favor of you before I do this. Find my uncle. Kill him. That's all I ask."

_Do what?_ I thought.

Harry brought out his wand and put it to his head. "I loved you, Tom. And I still do. But I can't take it anymore."

_Harry! You're mad! You can't kill yourself!_

"Watch me." His voice was so uncaring, and cold. It didn't belong to Harry, not at all.

There was a bright flash of light, and my forcibly opened eyes were blinded, and I feared the worse. _Harry,_ I thought, not sure if he could still hear me. _Don't do it. You can't leave me. I need you. I'm sorry. I love you._

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><p><strong>Evil place to end, I know. I'm crying on the inside. T-T<strong>

**Until next time my readers! Please review! M'kay thanks. **


	28. 21 Questions

**Chapter 28: 21 Questions**

**T-T I'm so sorry Harry! I'm gonna make it better! I promise!**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: I'm sorry! T-T **

**YaoiCookies87: Hehehe, yes to the Vernon-hunting spree. It will. Probably. **

**Dfdfd (anonymous): That is very true. Tom loves him now! And he can't take it back! Thanks you for seeing the good in the last chapter. :) **

**Rhead-a-holic: I know…I'm terribly evil. I've been told. And yes, Tom deserves every second of it. And no, the light wasn't green. You're catching on. ;)**

**Aliengirlguy: Thanks! :D**

**I'm making it better now. :) Please read on.**

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><p>"I hate how much I love you, boy<br>I can't stand how much I need you  
>And I hate how much I love you, boy<br>But I just can't let you go  
>And I hate that I love you so"<p>

-_Hate That I Love You_ by Rihanna (feat. Ne-yo)

"Now that the world isn't ending,  
>it's love that I'm sending to you.<br>It isn't the love of a hero,  
>and that's why I fear it won't do"<p>

-_Hero_ by Chad Kroeger

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><p>Severus Snape's POV:<p>

When I had arrived at our meeting place, Hermione and Ron were already there waiting for me. They were on the floor, talking to each other, when they saw me.

"You didn't find anything either?" Weasley asked me.

"I did not. But I have teachers searching every inch of Hogwarts, still."

"I didn't find anything at the Grimmauld Place. Just Kreacher."

"Nothing at the Burrow, either. But my family is still looking. Knowing them, they won't stop. They'll turn the place over."

_Harry Potter, how do you manage to evade us so easily?_ I sighed. "Where is Tom?"

"Still waiting on him, I suppose. He hasn't shown up yet. And we haven't gotten word from him at all." Hermione was obviously very concerned, as worry was etched into her face.

"Can he even do a Patronus?" Ron scratched his head.

"Yes, of course. I would not tell him to send one if he could not." It was insulting to my intellect that he would even think such a thing.

"Well, I'd never have thought You-Know-Who could be happy." He shrugged.

"Harry taught him. He had absolutely no idea how to cast one before, but Harry showed him how. Last time I saw, he was not very skilled at it, but I imagine he is much better at it now."

We spent a few moments in silence. The minutes were slow and dull, just awaiting Tom to arrive.

"Where in Merlin is he?"

"He's taking an awful long time, Professor. Should we go and see if something is wrong?"

I shook my head. "We will wait for him here, as we said we would. He might have lost track of time. He has no clock there, I assume."

"Look!" Hermione pointed to the far distance, and I saw a flash of light hurry our way. "What is that?"

As it drew closer, it became clearer that it was a snake. "It seems we have a message from Tom. Hurry, come quickly." I walked briskly towards the Patronus, two students following shortly behind.

Only a few seconds later, we met, and it spoke its message. "Severus, I have found him. He's here, at his home. Come quickly."

I sent my own Patronus back to the castle to inform the professors who were still searching, and Ron did the same with his, sending it to the Burrow. "Let us go, then."

They grabbed my sleeves, and we apparated to Harry's muggle house. It was fairly dark outside, and silent, but I could hear the muffled voices from inside.

"Harry, I-"

"_**Petrificus Totalus!**_"

"Wait outside until I tell you to come in. I know you both enjoy idiotically running into battle, but this is serious, and I need you both to stay out for the better. Not because you may get hurt, but because Harry might." I looked them in the eyes, and they nodded slowly.

I turned, went to the door, and waited for the right time to enter.

"I just want you to know what you've put me through the in last few hours of my life. I may have gone through hell and survived, on several occasions, but this…This is worse than anything I've ever endured! And I…can't believe what you did. But it's done, and I'm done!"

My eyes widened. _Harry is going to…no._ I opened the door, and stepped inside. I could see Harry, but he wasn't paying any attention to my entrance; he hadn't noticed. He looked awful, and sick.

"That's all I ask." Harry was so different from the innocent boy he was. This was a completely different side of him that I had wished would never be released.

"I loved you, Tom. And I still do. But I can't take it anymore." A moment of silence. He pulled out his wand, and put it to his temple. I needed to do something, and fast. "Watch me."

I raised my wand. _**Expelliarmus!**_ A bright flash of light came to the darkness of the room, and Harry's wand flew from his hand across the room. He jumped, surprised at my spell, and turned to me. He had dark circles under his eyes that made his pale face seem to lose any color it had. He opened his mouth, but something stopped him. He stared right through me, and tears filled his eyes. He fell to the ground in quiet sobs.

I went to his side, immediately seeing Tom, unable to move. I released his binding spell, and he, too, fell to his knees.

"Granger! Weasley! Come!"

Immediately, the two ran inside and surveyed the situation. They joined me next to Harry, ensuring he was alright.

"We heard everything from outside the door, Harry! How could you be so foolish?" Hermione had tears in her eyes, as did Ron (though he would never admit to it). "Don't ever do that to us again!" They both hugged him; the Golden Trio had been reunited.

I looked over the huddle to see Tom down the hall, lonely as ever. I wanted to go over and see if he would be alright, but that was not a job for me. I looked back to Harry, and he looked more miserable than Tom did, even if he was surrounded by friends.

"Step back. Let the boy breathe. I would hate to have saved his life and then have him die of suffocation."

Hermione and Ron backed away, their eyes still very moist, but their faces in smiles. Ron sent another Patronus away.

"Harry," I said, but he refused to look up at me. "You were never meant to die by wand. Not yours, nor anyone else's. Do not even _think_ about ending your life any time soon." Tears continued to make their way down his cheeks, and drip onto the floor.

I stood and walked over to Granger and Weasley. 'We must help them both to fix this. If you, both, can convince Harry to, at least, go back and live in the manor, I'm sure I can fix things with Tom.' They both gave a nod and went to deal with Harry.

I looked back to Tom, who had not moved an inch. I went to his side, decided a private talk was in order, and placed my hand on his shoulder. We apparated to his manor, right outside the private meeting room. I made no effort to move him into the room, and neither did he.

"My Lord, I'm going to call you that because your name is something you aren't fond of." I looked down at him, but he showed no sign that he was listening. I had never seen him at such a weak point. "My Lord, we are going to have a much needed talk. We will share things we otherwise would not tell one another, but this is going to better ourselves. I have some rules." He still did not move. "First, for every question I ask, I will give a piece of information I would rather be secret, so there will be and equal flow. Second, if there are questions you would like to ask me, you must first share something you would rather be secret. Third, we will both answer whatever is asked with the truth, or I shall be forces to summon some Veritaserum, or use imperious curse.

"I shall go first. I loved Harry's mother, but she loved Harry's father, and I despised him for it. Now, my first question is, How do you feel about Harry killing himself?" Tom made no effort to answer, but fidgeted a bit. I raised my eyebrow. "I can wait all day for your answer. I have nothing else to do." still nothing.

"Of course, there is always the option to forget everything, now isn't there? Go ahead. Forget Harry ever existed. I'm sure he would do the same thing." He looked up at me.

"Harry would never do that."

I almost smiled. I may not be able to convince people of things, but I sure had a way with logic, and reverse psychology. "Then should you not do exactly what he would do in this situation? Don't you think he would share what he was feeling? I know he would. He always does."

Tom stood up carefully, using the wall as a balance. "Then let us discuss this in privacy." He opened the door to the meeting room, and stepped inside, so I followed.

Inside he stood, looking at the chairs, mostly the gold one. I went right ahead and say in the grey one. Tom still did not sit down. _He did not want to sit in his black throne? How odd... _

"Sit next to me, My Lord." I gestured to the dark green seat to my right. He hesitated, but eventually sat down. "Now, will you answer my question?"

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Tom was at a point of weakness, and Snape could tell. This, of course, infuriated Tom, but he couldn't build up the strength to be angry, or even cover up his weakness. He had driven Harry to the edge; all this was his fault. He was evil, even to those he cared for. And he decided to voice it.

"I felt like it was my fault. I was the reason Harry was driven to that."

Snape nodded. He had figured such. "Alright. I had a muggle father whom I hated, much like you. Why do you think you feel guilty for Harry wanting to kill himself? You've never been so guilty around death before."

Tom did not want to answer, at first. That was a large question. Before, he would have answered that Harry was his horcrux. But now, now not only did he remember all of the people he had killed, and that he loved Harry more than the world itself, there was much more explanation needed, and many secrets he did not want to share. "Say one more secret, and I will tell you."

_Now we are getting somewhere. Bargaining for answers, this must be a good answer._ Snape thought of something to say. "When we were boys, Harry's father, James, saved me from being attacked by his werewolf friend. Dumbledore told me I owed him my life. I never made up this debt until Harry came along."

This was a new side of Snape Tom had not seen. Such a history, he was as jaded as the rest of them (them being Harry and Tom). "It is a long explanation. When I was a teenager, I grew this hatred for anything to do with my muggle father, and so I created Voldemort as a way to escape that, and become stronger. But Tom never left. He was always there after Voldemort would rest. He would see the blood left on his hands, and he would feel guilty. That is why I used those memory bottles; to rid my other half, my weak half, of the guilt that the Dark Lord would bring on. I made myself stronger. Now that I have broken all the bottles, I feel the guilt left from each person that lies dead because of me.

"Harry is more than my horcrux, Severus. His death would bring me closer to mine, not because he holds a part of my soul. When he left, it was the worst feeling in the world. I knew what I had done, but it had not occurred to me that he felt the same way; like his life was closer to its end because we were separated. I thought he was angry with me, that he hated me. I never imagined he would be so suicidal. Even if I had never been guilty about killing people, I could never live if Harry had killed himself because of my foolishness."

Snape was more than satisfied with Tom's answer. He had not expected to get this far. _Maybe Harry really has changed him._ "After you killed Harry's mom, Lily, I switched my loyalties. I worked with Dumbledore and the Order against you. It wasn't until the awful mistakes I saw them make, that I reasoned somewhere in the middle would be best." He wasn't the least bit scared of Tom getting angry with him. He was sure it all didn't matter now, anyway. "Now, what do you mean by your 'foolishness?'"

Rubbing his temples, Tom absorbed what Snape had said. He had switched loyalties, from his side to Dumbledore's side. Voldemort would be furious to hear that. "One more secret."

A smirk from Snape. "Lily's Patronus was a doe. My Patronus is her match, because of my love for her."

Tom was confused. "I thought everyone had a unique Patronus animal."

"Yes, but feelings can also effect what animal it is. There are occurrences of Patronus animals changing due to a life-altering event happening. Now, your answer."

Tom sighed. "I immediately regretted telling Harry I didn't love him. Voldemort was in my mind, and he cannot love. Love is weakness to him. And so, he told Harry I didn't love him. I realize now, that I do, in fact, love him."

_And the correct answer is achieved at last._ "I understand why you created a new name for yourself. You wanted to rid of your muggle father's connection to you. I also have an alternative name. I am the Half-Blood Prince. Half-Blood, obviously, due to my blood status, and Prince because it was my mother's maiden name. What is keeping you from going to Harry and explaining that to him?"

"Other than Harry being so fragile and hateful towards me?" Tom thought more about this question. What _was_ keeping him from telling Harry he loved him? If Harry wanted him back instantly, he would still hesitate, yes, but why? A few moments of pure silence passed before he answered. "I fear that my love is not good enough."

Snape was so close to getting another good answer, possibly a solution. "The elder wand does not belong to you. It belongs to Draco Malfoy, because he disarmed Dumbledore. Now, explain in further detail."

"What?" Tom was shocked. _Of all people…Draco Malfoy?_ He shook it off. It did not matter now. "Never mind." He mumbled. "I have never been loved, of course. Not by my father, nor any of my surviving family. My mother may have, but I never knew her. She died. I have lived my entire life without love. Harry was born knowing what love was. He has expectations as to what love is, and isn't, and I fear I may not meet them."

_Just about perfect._ Snape had gotten everything he needed from Tom to know to mend this. _Now, for Harry…_ He nodded. "I shall leave you with your thoughts, My Lord." He bowed his head, and left the room.

* * *

><p>Hermione and Ron were left alone with Harry to convince him to go back to the manor. <em>How on Earth are we going to do that? <em>thought Hermione.

Harry was still crying, but less now that Snape and Tom had left. He was so angered with them both. Snape had taken away his chance to escape, and be better off. He wanted Harry to be tortured in this miserable thing they called life. And Tom…Tom…

"You alright, mate?" Ron asked Harry. He was really hoping Harry wouldn't say no.

"Where's my wand?" Harry felt around the ground, trying to find it. He didn't care now. He just wanted this to be done. Once and for all.

"Harry! Don't even think about it!" Hermione grabbed Harry's wrists. He fought with her a few moments, trying to free his hands. He needed them to find his wand.

Ron hated lying. He really did. But this would be better for Harry. "Snape took it when he left. He didn't want you to…you know."

Harry still struggled with Hermione. He would take their wands then. He just needed something. Anything. "Then let me go!"

"No! Ron! Stop him!" Hermione was barely holding onto his wrists. She was clearly not as strong as he was.

"_**Petrificus Totalus!**_"

Harry froze, not able to move at all. _How funny,_ he thought. _To be hit with the spell I had last used._

"Now, Harry. Listen to us. We would be devastated if you killed yourself. You would never be able to make the world a better place. Only you have that power, Harry. No one else does." Hermione had tears in her eyes. She hated Harry being so set on killing himself.

_You're wrong,_ Harry thought. _Tom could. If he tried._

"Everyone needs you, Harry. Think about the children who are growing up the way you did; without parents, without magic; wouldn't you have given anything for someone to help you when you were younger? You can stop that from happening to other kids, Harry."

"And we need you too, mate. What trouble would we get into without you there? None. Where would we get another player for Quidditch that was as good as you? Nowhere. Who would annoy Malfoy with us without getting beat up? No one. We're your best friends, Harry. You have to think about us, too."

If they were trying to guilt Harry into not killing himself, it was starting to work. But he still wasn't quite convinced. There was only one person who mattered if they wanted Harry dead. And if he didn't love Harry, maybe Harry deserved to die.

Ron released the spell that was on him, and he didn't move. He wouldn't kill himself using his friend's wands. That wasn't the way to do it. He respected his friends more than that. Plus, he didn't want them interfering with it. One of them might get hurt instead, and he just couldn't imagine what he would do if he let that happen to them.

"Harry, we-"

Just then, Snape opened the door, cutting Hermione's words off. "How are you doing, Harry?"

"Worse than we thought, Professor. He wouldn't stop trying to find his wand, so we had to use a body-bind on him."

"We released it after we told him why he couldn't do it."

Snape looked to Harry, a small slump on the floor, so weak and fragile, as Tom had said. _Love does not make people weak,_ he thought to himself. _Lack of love does._ "And I presume he has agreed to nothing, then?"

"No, Professor."

_Of course. If one wants something done, they must do it themselves. _"Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, I will take it from here. Go and rest for the night."

"But we-" Ron started to say, but Snape interrupted.

"Enough. We are not staying here, and you cannot go to where we are headed. I understand your concerns, and I will update you on his progress, if you wish."

Hermione wanted to argue, but she knew there was nothing that would change Snape's mind. She sighed. "Alright, Professor. Please, do send us the updates. Come on, Ron." She grabbed Ron's hand, and they disapparated back to the Burrow.

Snape placed his hand on Harry's shoulder, and they apparated to his room in Tom's manor. Harry landed softly on his bed. He looked down at the sheets, and tears came to his eyes. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be anywhere else but here.

"Harry, we are going to have a much needed talk." Snape said, almost mimicking his first conversation with Tom. "And I have rules. First, for every question I ask that requires you to give a piece of information you would rather not share, I will give a piece of information I would rather be secret, so there will be and equal flow. Second, if there are questions you would like to ask me, you must first share something you would rather be secret. Third, we will both answer whatever is asked with the truth. Understood?"

Harry sighed and lay back against the pillows. If he was going to be here to answer questions, he would get them over with as soon as possible to get out of here. He nodded finally.

"Good. I shall start then. I loved your mother. I still do. She was the most beautiful being I have ever known. Why do you want to kill yourself?"

Harry's head flew up to look at Snape and his eyes widened. _What?_ His potions professor, who had always treated him rather rudely, was in love with his mother? Harry's mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. He was completely shocked. He never would have imagined Snape to love his mom. He knew they had known each other as kids, but this was so much of a different situation.

"Well, are you going to answer?"

"Answer what?" Harry asked absently. He was too focused on the first part of Snape's words to hear any of the second part.

"Why do you want to kill yourself?"

Harry's shock melted into dread. He knew all too well why he wanted it done. "Because my life was hell. My life was hell, and then I found the most amazing thing ever, that made my terrible life go away, and kept me warm and safe, and wouldn't let the nightmares hurt me. And then it was ripped out from under me. And now my hell is worse than before." Harry paused before adding, "You understand what that's like."

Snape looked away. _Damn Potter, and his insufferable ability to turn a conversation around like that._ He did understand what that was like, to have the love of your life not love you back; to have a terrible life, and then a good one, and then an even worse life. "Your mother's Patronus was a doe. Because I loved her, my Patronus is her match. Why can you not convince Tom to love you?"

Harry had known they had the same Patronus, ever since he had made that small doe with his magical clay in the sitting room with green eyes, but he had not made any type of connection. "The same reason you could not convince my mom. There was a day I was here, where I tortured a rat with terrible curses beyond belief, and enjoyed doing it, until it died. Then I felt terribly guilty afterwards. Why did you hate my father?"

Snape growled internally. Harry was just as good at this game as he was. "He and his friends would always bully me. And when your mother fell in love with him, I decided I hated him. He once saved me from Lupin when he was changing into his werewolf form. I saw this as debt, and I have repaid him by protecting you. Please explain in further detail why you cannot convince him."

Harry did not want to talk about it, but that was the whole purpose of this talk; to talk about things they wouldn't normally share, and so he would make sure Snape shared more important things as well. "Real love is not something that can be convinced. It is something you fall into naturally. And if Tom told me he doesn't love me, then he never will. First year, I thought you were the one trying to steal the Sorcerer's stone, not Professor Quirrell. It wasn't until I was in that room with him that I knew it wasn't you. Why did you hate your father?"

_He may be better at this game than I am._ He wasn't even aware Harry knew he hated his father. Clenching his jaw, he answered through his teeth. "He was a terrible father who did not care for me. He very often abused his power as my father, and made it very clear he did not want me around." Snape relaxed his jaw and prepared for his next question, "I wanted Sirius to go to Azkaban. I figured he was innocent, but I hated him for being one of your father's close friends. What would keep you from going back to Tom is he actually did love you?"

Harry wanted nothing more than to hex Snape right now. How could he want such a thing to happen to Sirius? Harry was glad he attacked Snape in the Shrieking Shack third year. "Tom still has his mind so messed up. He enjoys killing people, and torturing them, and he wants to destroy all muggles and half-bloods. He's such a hypocrite! He _IS_ a half-blood. As much as I wanted him to be Tom Riddle, he's still Voldemort!" Harry calmed himself down a bit. He was so angry with Snape, though. "Sometimes, when I'm alone and sad, I see the ghosts of people who are dead. Like my parents, and Cedric, and Sirius, and Dumbledore. Why didn't my mother love you?"

And Snape was angry with him. Such a question was unnecessary. Now Harry was just trying to ask the personal questions. "I was her friend. Then one day she stood up to your father, who was bullying be, and I called her a mudblood. She hated me after that. She wanted nothing to do with me." Snape realized this anger method would not work, and that he would need to use a calmer approach. "I cried for hours over your mother's death, and contemplated my own death afterwards, but then thought of who would watch over you, and decided to take it upon myself to keep an eye on you in your muggle home. That's two. If Tom was just Tom, and not the Dark Lord, what would change, and what do you want wish would happen?"

Harry's anger melted. He felt remorse, and sorrow, and despair. "Everything would change. Tom would be so much happier. He wouldn't do things I wouldn't like. He would regret things, and try and fix them. I…I wish he did love me. I've had a dream, about him, where he just held me, and apologized, and told me he loved me. And I imagined him doing it again right after you disarmed me. My mind likes to play tricks on me." Harry had tears in his eyes once more. He missed Tom. He hated how much he loved him. Tom would never love him, so why couldn't Harry just stop? "I don't want to love Tom if he won't love me back. But I still love him, with everything I have. More than anything else in the world." Harry didn't have any more questions for Snape.

"Alright. Then let's go tell him that."

Harry's eyes widened again. "_What?_"

Snape grabbed his shoulder, and they quickly apparated to the door of the private meeting room.

* * *

><p><strong>:D See? I'm making things better!<strong>

**Harry: Alright. I guess I can forgive you.**

**Me: Yes!**

**Harry: But only after Tom and I make up!**

**Me: Will do! :)**

**Yay! I hoped you liked it. Please review! :D M'kay, thanks!**


	29. Lost In Words

**Chapter 29: Lost in Words**

**Hey guys! I'm going to tell you now, I will not write a chapter tomorrow. I will be working my butt off outside from 9am to 8pm in the fucking 100 degree weather. I will come home and sleep until I have to wake up the next day. It's just not gonna happen. I'm sorry. But hey, you guys have gotten two chapters for the past two days (I think. I don't know, I lost track). You guys are so awesome! Thank you for sticking with my story so long! :)**

**Frostfire613: Hahaha. No worries.**

**YaoiCookies87: 3 They will kiss and make up soon enough. Just not now. They have to deal with stuff first.**

**Rhead-a-holyc: Hehehe, yep. It's not that Tom didn't get the game, but he is still a little weak and scarred mentally. The only reason Harry got it was to piss off Snape (which is his third favorite hobby at Hogwarts, right after getting into trouble and pissing off Draco). :)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Somewhat happy train…got it. :D**

**InsaneChickOfWriting: Can I just say, I love all the compliments! :) And of course, I will have a compromise about Vernon. :) Hehehe…**

**Reshmi Solaris: Hahaha, sorry. Next chapter is here!**

**Aliengirlguy: :) Yep. And, yes, it's against his nature, but he really cares about Harry being happy, and he would sacrifice those big secrets to help fix things. :D**

**Enjoy! :)**

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><p>"To give me all your love was all I ever asked<br>Cause what you don't understand is  
>I'd catch a grenade for ya<br>Throw my hand on a blade for ya  
>I'd jump in front of a train for ya<br>You know I'd do anything for ya  
>I would go through all this pain<br>Take a bullet straight through my brain  
>Yes, I would die for you baby"<p>

-_Grenade_ by Bruno Mars

"I guess this means you're sorry  
>you're standing at my door<br>Guess this means you take back  
>All you said before<br>like how much you wanted  
>Anyone but me<br>Said you'd never come back  
>But here you are again<br>Cause we belong together now  
>Forever untied here somehow<br>You've got a piece of me  
>And honestly<br>My life would suck without you"

-_My Life Would Suck Without You_ by Kelly Clarkson

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><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Snape opened the door to the meeting room, and there in the green chair, was Tom. Snape walked inside and sat down in his grey chair. Harry just stood and stared at Tom, who stared back at him.

_There he is. The man I love. The evil villain who has made my life a living hell since I was 1. He killed my parents, and my friends, and my heart. He made me believe he loved me, but he really didn't. I don't want to love him, but it's not that simple to fall out of love. The pain, and the sorrow; they would never go away. He had led me to believe there was good to life, and in people. But I was wrong. So, _so_ wrong._

_I don't deserve him. I've done nothing but hurt him. No, I haven't hurt him. Voldemort has. He was the cause of Harry's grief. I love Harry with all my heart, but that sick monster cannot love. I don't want to be the Dark Lord anymore. I want Harry instead. But my love is not good enough for him. He hates me, now. I pushed him over the edge, and he wanted to end his life; all because of me. _

"Harry, sit." Snape motioned Harry to his golden chair, right next to Tom.

Harry did not want to sit down next to Tom. It wasn't as childish as it seemed, really; when you love someone, but they don't love you, and you've both voiced it, there's strange feeling of not being worthy. Harry felt unworthy of sitting next to Tom. Tom felt the same way. Harry hated him, he was sure. He did not deserve to be able to sit next to the boy whose life he had ruined. Such a petty thing, yet so much fuss.

Snape waited for Harry to sit, but he never made a move from the door. He was locked in a gaze with Tom. He needed to get them to talk, but he knew how likely that was, and now, most certainly impossible. What was a logical potions master to do? _Make the impossible, possible_. And he had an idea in mind, but it was completely out of his character to say such things almost randomly. Would he do this? Possibly.

"Harry, I would like for you to sit. It does not matter which chair, just sit."

Harry looked to the floor, and made his way to sit in Tom's usual black chair. It seemed everyone (except Snape) was in a different position.

Snape debated his options more. He could very well use Veritaserum on them both. But what questions would he ask them? Or maybe he could say one thing, and have them discuss it. Like another game. Another trick to force them into talking. One that didn't involve questions; Harry was too skilled with that trick. They could all go around and apologize for something. That would definitely work wonders if they cooperated.

"I have another talk for us. Of course, there are rules to this one, as well. First, when it is your turn to speak, you will apologize for something you are ashamed of, or guilty for. It can be from any time in your life. Second, if you run out of things to apologize for, which I will make sure of, then you may sit out. Third, there is no making up situations. I'll go first. I'm terribly sorry that I could not help your mother, Harry. Your turn."

Harry shrunk in the chair. He did not like this, but he would ride it out until he was allowed to leave. "I'm sorry for trying to kill myself. I know it was selfish."

Snape looked from Harry to Tom. "Your turn, My Lord."

Tom growled in the back of his throat. He was fully aware of what Severus was trying to do, but he would not give him the satisfaction. "I apologize for mistrusting you, Severus."

Snape nodded. He would wait as long as he needed to. "I'm sorry for giving you reason to mistrust me, My Lord." He looked back to Harry.

"I'm sorry for thinking you were a terrible potions professor. And Defense against the dark arts professor. And headmaster."

Snape let out his breath slowly, trying to keep calm. "I haven't been headmaster yet."

Harry blushed and sank further into his chair. "Well, I know that. But it didn't stop me from thinking it. And I'm sorry for it."

Snape rolled his eyes.

"I apologize for being so uncooperative earlier." Tom said.

Harry looked up to Tom, confusion on his face. He then turned his gaze on Snape. He had talked to Tom, too? _No doubt asking the same things. But what did he answer?_ Harry was curious, and so, he did not say a word about it. This was another trap, he assumed, that Snape had set for them.

And Snape had realized that his plan was known to everyone else in the room, but he could care less. What mattered was that the other two would think they could go through this and not have to deal with the current situation. And Snape knew that they would. "I'm sorry for treating you so poorly in class, Harry."

Harry looked down at his hands that were neatly folded in his lap. He didn't know what else to apologize for. He definitely knew he would not get out of this so early, and so he thought harder. "I'm sorry for… burning your sitting room." He wouldn't look up at Tom, or even say his name.

"I apologize for not telling you about the fireplace's charm." Tom stared at the table. It was suddenly very interesting to him how the wood fibers meshed together in such a decoration. Each line on the table was connected to another, it was all so natural.

_Closer. At least they apologized to each other for something._ Snape looked between the other two and saw how they avoided eye contact, and instead focused their eyes on other things. He would get them to talk, eventually. "I'm sorry hated your father."

_He's sorry for that?_ Harry thought. He figured Snape enjoyed hating his father. "I'm sorry my father bullied you." He really was. He would not have bullied anyone like his father had bullied Snape. It was awful, really.

Tom racked his brain. He wanted to apologize for so many things to Harry, but he would not. But what else was there to be sorry for? "I apologize for being terrible towards the other orphans at my orphanage as a child."

Harry continued to look at hind hands, but he was shocked. That was not something a Dark Lord apologizes for. Not even close. But then again, a Dark Lord doesn't apologize at all. So If he was apologizing, what did that mean?

"I'm sorry for calling Lily a mudblood." Snape was running out of not-too-personal things to say as well. He knew that Tom and Harry already knew many of the things he had apologized for, and so, what to apologize for now?

Tracing the lines on his thumb, Harry thought of something else to say. "I…uh…I'm sorry I made enemies with Draco first year." He sighed and mumbled, "Please don't tell him I said that."

_What to say now?_ thought Tom. He could only think of the things he would not let himself say; nothing else would come to mind. He did not want to fall into Snape's trap, but it was going to happen sooner or later. And Tom preferred later. "I apologize for forcing you to learn curses."

Harry was tapping his nail on the side of his finger when Tom said that, and he jerked his hand in surprise, scratching himself. _Ow_. He rubbed his finger to sooth the slight pain he had caused himself. _He was sorry for teaching me curses? Who was this man? _There was no way it was the one he had known all of his life as the murderer of his parents.

"I'm sorry for ever doubting you, Harry." Snape said.

Harry looked up to Snape. "You doubted me?" he asked without meaning to do so out loud.

"Logically, you never stood a chance, Harry. But logic does not account for luck."

_That's true enough._ Harry nodded. He himself could hardly believe he had made it this far. "I'm…sorry for ever thinking Sirius was trying to kill me."

Tom was thoroughly bored with looking at the table. He looked around the room, really wishing he had not gone with such plain décor. He would have to redesign this room. To match with the table, the bottom half of the wall could have mahogany wood, and the top halves could be green, black, grey, and gold to match with the chairs…

"My Lord, it is your turn."

His head snapped back to the table. He was irritated when he was pulled out of his thoughts, but he supposed they would have to wait until later anyway. He didn't have something ready to say, and so he sighed and said something he might regret, just to get it over with. "I apologize for murdering your parents, Harry."

His fidgeting fingers paused, but Harry did not meet Tom's eyes, that were beginning to burn holes in his head. No apology, of course, would ever make that better, but the thought that Tom was sorry was completely unnerving to the hatred he was trying (and failing so miserably) to keep up.

Snape sighed internally. They were both being so difficult. Why wouldn't they meet each other's eyes? It's a simple gesture, really. Nothing to it. But Snape was not aware of the trance they always fell into when jade eyes met ones the color of blood. As someone once said, the eyes are the gateway to the soul. "I'm sorry I could not convince Dumbledore to move you out of your muggle home," Snape said softly.

Harry was once more reminded of that terrible moment, in that awful house, with his horrible uncle. _Me too. _He hated him. And he still lived. He would kill him, for that was the one person he would not care about killing. He wouldn't even be guilty. He would torture that bastard, and cut him to watch the blood flow around him, and his uncle would slowly die, knowing Harry had finally gotten his revenge. "I'm sorry I tortured all those rats." _I wish they were him._

Tom was, officially, out of things to apologize for (that were not about Harry and their current situation). "I have nothing else."

Snape smirked. He had seen this coming from a mile away. "Are you sure?" He pulled a small, clear vial from his pants pocket (from his emergency kit), and his wand (careful that Tom did not see him), ready to silently bind him and administer the Veritaserum. "Are you sure, My Lord?"

He looked to Snape, his eyes narrowed. Snape had something up his sleeve, he was certain, but what? There was nothing that would force him to apologize for everything directly. But then again, it did not have to be direct. Did he dare try to see what it was?

Harry had caught a glimpse of the Veritaserum. Snape was ready to get to business, but what was the business, exactly? He didn't want to do this anymore, and so he hoped Snape would use the potion either way.

"Oh. I just remembered one. I apologize for kidnapping your friend." He looked to Harry, hoping he would get the slightest chance to see his eyes once more.

Harry still played with his fingers, but gave a sideways glance to Snape that said _"If-you're-going-to-do-it-do-it-now"_. Snape caught this, and admired Harry's Gryffindor approach. He was sure Harry had no idea what was in store, but he was sure the "spur of the moment" attack was certainly not a good plan. And yet, something told Snape to play along. He held his wand under the table. _**Petrificus totalus.**_

Tom was bound in place, and his furious red eyes could have burned right through the spell. Snape slowly stood and made his way over to Tom, opening his mouth just enough to swallow the potion. "I apologize for using Veritaserum once more on you, My Lord, even if you have already warned me not to." He did not move from behind Tom, but he did release his spell.

"Severus, what on-" Tom's tone was dangerous, but Snape interrupted anyway.

"My Lord, what all would you like to apologize for? To Harry, of course."

Tom literally bit his tongue to keep from talking, but there was no way the potion would have that. "I apologize for being such a fool, Harry. I never meant to hurt you so much. I am sorry I took advantage of you. I am sorry I made you want to end your life. And that I spent a large part of my life trying to kill you and everyone you cared for. I am sorry I am so terrible with expression. And that I could try for hours to explain this to you, but never be able to. I am sorry that I cannot trust you fully; it is not in my nature. I am sorry I have made your life worse every moment I exist, no matter what I try to do. And, I am sorry I am not worth your love."

His breath was gone. And his throat went dry. Harry couldn't believe his ears. He took a moment for it all to sink in, and let the full meaning come from the words. Tom was…sorry. But that didn't make sense. All of the confessions swirled around his mind, especially the last one. _He felt he wasn't worth my love? But he's so much more worthy than I am. _Harry could not bear it any longer, and his eyes looked up to Tom, meeting together, and getting lost.

"And why did you tell Harry you didn't love him yesterday in the memory bottle room?" Snape was going to get as much use as possible from this potion.

"I let Voldemort into my mind. He was in control, and he finds love weak, and unnecessary. He did not want to be weak, but I could care less. He said it, and I regretted it. I was shocked, and I knocked over all my memory bottles, and Voldemort fled my mind. I am not him anymore. And I never meant to say that."

Their eyes bore into one another. Harry figured he was imagining things. _This is a dream,_ he thought. _Another trick my mind is playing on me._

"What do you think Harry feels about you?" Snape wasn't seeing any reaction, but he knew Harry wasn't as blank in his mind as he was in his face.

"I think he hates me. I broke him, and he tried to kill himself because of me. He does not love me anymore. To him, I am worse than his muggle uncle. I will never meet his expectations." Tom didn't bother to fight back any longer. He understood it was all going to come out, whether he wanted it to or not. But these deep feeling he was revealing, he was sure Harry would be disgusted with him.

But Harry was still lost. He was in his imagination; or so he thought. He wanted nothing more than for this to be real, but he knew it never could be. When had he fallen asleep? He couldn't remember. Probably right after Snape had questioned him. He had just passed out without realizing it, and his cruel dream had continued on without pause.

One last question Snape had before he would leave them alone. "My Lord, how do you really feel about Harry?"

Tom continued to stare at Harry. "I love him. He has turned my world upside down. I never understood what I had been lacking before, but now that I have seen it, felt it, I want nothing else. I never want to lose him, but I understand I am not what he deserves. My entire existence would be nothing without him. I love him." Tom mentally reached out to Harry, '_More than life itself.'_

Harry's eyes grew wet. His mind was being so evil. It was torturing him. This was everything he ever wanted, and he was hearing it, and seeing it, but it wasn't real. How absolutely horrible. He wanted to shake himself awake, and come back to that hell he called reality, so he could cry and wish it was actually happening.

Snape did not understand what was occurring with Harry. He expected Harry to be happy, but he was only more miserable. Hadn't this been exactly what he wanted? So why was he so full of sorrow, still? "Harry?" He walked over to his side.

'It's all a dream,' he whispered, shutting his eyes tightly. 'Wake me up, Professor.'

"Harry, this is quite real. It is not a dream."

'_Harry, I mean every word. It is alright if you have changed your mind; I understand. Do not feel guilty about it.' _Tom figured Harry meant it was a nightmare. One more thing that would haunt his guilty conscience at night while he slept. He didn't want Harry to suffer anymore because of him.

_I'm guilty about anything. I just wish this were real._ Harry thought for Tom to hear.

Tom almost smiled. _'Harry, this is real. And if it is a dream, I never want to wake.'_

He wrapped his head around it. This was real; it actually happening. Tom loved him. He actually loved him. And he never meant what he said. And he wasn't Voldemort anymore. And he didn't want to hurt him. And he loved him. He never could have been happier in his entire life.

_I love you, too, Tom. Please, don't ever do that to me again._

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><p><strong>Hope y'all liked it! Please review! :) M'kay thanks!<strong>


	30. Actions and Reactions

**Chapter 30: Actions and Reactions**

**Yay! You liked that last chapter, right? I did. :) But now, sadly, the story is coming to an end. Only a few chapters left, I guess. But I don't know whether I should just have an Epilogue to show what happened afterwards, or if I should make a sequel and have a whole other story there. Please, help me decide! That would be awesome. :)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Oh good. I was hoping you would like it. I know it took a while to get to the good part. :)**

**YaoiCookies87: Winning! The heat was nothing (Hehehe. Just kidding, it sucked). Super tiring, but SO much fun. Hehehe, Sev DOES like his potions…**

**TheUnknown03: Thank you for noticing. :) I will. Thanks!**

**Guiltone: Thank you for all your compliments and awesomeness. :) I will keep up the good work.**

**Rhead-a-holic: Hehehe, I DO like Slytherin…Lol. These are my day dreams. :) **

**Aliengirlguy: Thank you.**

**Magic Dobby: Thank you, but I must warn you, it gets VERY mushy. But also pretty hot, so…maybe it balances out?**

**You guys are the best readers an author could have! This chapter is super awesome just for you guys. :D**

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><p>"That was the day that I promised<br>I'd never sing of love if it does not exist  
>But darlin'<br>You are the only exception"

-_The Only Exception_ by Paramore

"…you had me, once you kissed me  
>My love for you is not iffy<br>I always want you with me  
>I'll play Bobby and you'll play Whitney<br>If you smoke, I'll smoke too  
>That's how much I'm in love with you<br>Crazy is what crazy do  
>Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool"<p>

-_Don't Phunk with My Heart_ by Black Eyes Peas

**I would quote another song here, but I want to put the whole thing  
>So instead of me quoting it, just listen to the entire song<br>K, thanks. :)**  
>-<em>Darling I Do<em> by Landon Pigg and Lucy Schwartz

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I smiled. Snape sent off his Patronus (to where, I have no idea). As soon as Snape was gone, I ran over to Tom (who was now standing). Everything that had happened, our arguments, our confused feelings, saying there was no love, feeling unworthy, it was all forgotten in an instant. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, my tears wetting his robes.

_Don't you ever do that to me again._

I had missed Tom so much. It was like the world had lost its color, and everything was black and white; just light and dark, and nothing else, not even grey. Nothing was the same. My body had torn itself apart, and my mind had shut down, and my lungs refused to breathe, and my heart didn't beat. But now, I couldn't feel the ground, and everything was so bright, it pained my eyes. I loved him so much it hurt. I didn't ever want to leave again.

_'I promise. Never again.'_

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and held me impossibly close. He had missed me, too. That was all that mattered. He was all that mattered. I lifted my head from his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was sweet, and passionate. My mouth tasted cinnamon and musk; a taste I had craved for so long, it seemed. This moment was one I had been dreaming of ever since I had realized I loved him. He had told me he loved me, and there was nothing in the world to stop us.

We broke from our kiss for air. He picked me up and sat me on the table, and we continued, our tongues dancing in each other's mouths. His hand traveled up my shirt, and the warmth alone was so amazing. I wanted to be closer, so much closer. I ran my fingers through his perfect hair, making sure they would fall over his forehead. I loved him so much. More than I have ever loved anything, ever. I wanted him, so bad…

_'Are you sure this is what you want, Harry? Now that you have that memory back.'_

That didn't matter now. Didn't he get that? I could care less about that. They were two different things. I absolutely hated my uncle, and never wanted that (and never will in a million lifetimes), but I loved Tom so much, I was practically begging for this. _I want nothing more._ My hand brushed down his robes, and they vanished, leaving him only in his pants.

'_What a neat little trick. Very useful.'_

_Very._ I smiled against his mouth. His hand clawed at my shirt, and it, too, vanished. His hands trailed down my bare back, sending pulses down to my groin. I moved my hand down to his pants, and they too vanished, along with his boxers. I pulled away slightly, and trailed kissed down his neck. I could feel his breathing speed up and his heart pump faster. Everything was different from before. Instead of the air being thick, and not breathable, it was light and intoxicating. There was no red flag, no guilty feelings telling me this was wrong; just happiness, and pleasure. My hands explored the muscles of his back, and my mouth made its way back to his. Everything was slow and nice, loving and exciting. Tom tugged at my pants, and they disappeared. We were both bare, just enjoying each other, and letting everything happen.

Tom's hand rested on my back, and I slowly lowered myself onto the small table. It was cold, and my head was only halfway on it, but I didn't care. He was on top of me, his hands in my hair and on my chest. I hugged his neck and pulled him closer. Our skin barely touched. My head was spinning, and I was lost in the moment. Tom kissed my lips, and then my neck, down to my chest. Every touch was like heaven. He trailed his soft lips down my stomach, and finally placed a kiss on my cock. My head flew back, almost off the table. There was nothing in this world but Tom and I. He kissed it more, then gently placed his mouth over the tip. My heart raced in my chest, threatening to jump out of my chest. Every second was more amazing than the last. I was with the one I loved.

Tom took my entire cock in his mouth twice, then removed it, leaving it cold and needy. I picked up my head only to see him pulling his own cock. I blushed, finding this very (VERY) attractive. He looked back up at me and smiled, making my inhale into a backwards sigh. He lifted one of my legs and placed it on his shoulder, and I eagerly awaited. He licked a finger and pressed it into my ass, making me hold in my breath and clench my teeth, then another, stretching me (which I was so relieved for). Then he slowly pushed his cock inside me, and hit that glorious spot. I arched my back and let out a moan. "Tom." He pulled out just as agonizingly slow, then pressed back in, full speed. I grabbed the edges of the table on either side of me with impressive strength. Every sensation was so fucking incredible, it was hard to believe. He continued to press in and out, slow at first, then gaining speed. There were no doubts, or regrets. We were letting ourselves enjoy every second.

"Harry." Tom moaned. Our sounds made beautiful music I had missed; this was, of course, my favorite song. The world blurred, and I closed my eyes, feeling every touch more, hearing every sound better. Our bodies fell into sync, and everything moved in a much anticipated rhythm. I can't describe how wonderful it was (**1**). I was climbing so unbelievably fast, and I could feel myself come closer and closer each moment. My nails dug into the table, probably leaving marks. I was breathing so fast my lungs could barely get the air before it was pushed back out again. Then my vision went white, and a large, intense wave of pleasure rolled over me, and I came all over Tom. He trailed shortly after, moaning my name the whole time.

I closed my eyes and smiled. My breathing calmed, and Tom quickly cleaned us with a spell. He leaned over me, and gave me a quick kiss before backing away, and summoning some of our clothes.

"Harry, here are your shirt and pants. If you would, I'd like my robes."

"You're not going to wonder around like that? I think you look absolutely stunning." I laughed, quiet and airy.

I opened my eyes and saw his beautiful smile. "Not with Severus popping in and out when he wishes."

_I see your point._ I sat up, realizing I had no idea what I had done, let alone how to reverse it. "Uh…how do you get things back?"

"Where did you send them to?"

_That's a good question. I have no idea._ I looked around the room, but found nothing. _Bloody hell, what did I do with your clothes?_

Tom laughed. I had never heard him laugh before (not counting when it was evil). It was so warm, and silvery, filling the room with imaginary light. He snapped his fingers, and new robes fell into his other hand. They were deep green, instead of his normal black, although they were so dark, there was hardly any difference. But there was something about them that made his skin positively glow in contrast.

We both got dressed and left the room, hand in hand. It was early morning now, as the hallway made obvious. I had barely slept at all last night, but I felt like I could run for miles and miles. In my fantasies, I could have chased leaves around all day, Tom with me, not a care in the world. In fact, the idea sounded marvelous. We arrived in the spacious room, and sat down for breakfast.

"Tom, what are we doing today?"

"Hold on a moment." He stood and stepped away from the table, holding out his arm. A strange owl, much like the one I had seen before, flew onto his arm. Parchment and a quill appeared. He quickly jotted something down, cut his hand with the quill (which made me jump; it was so unexpected), and pressed the blood to the letter. "**_Morsmordre_**" The blood disappeared into the ink, and his name signed itself on the bottom. He folded it up and sent it away with the owl.

"What was that about?" He was just a bit more mental than I was giving him credit for.

He sat back down (by this time our plates of breakfast had arrived). "I have scheduled an emergency meeting at noon. All the Death Eaters are coming this time. I need to straighten some things out, now."

Many thoughts ran across my mind, but I forced only one out at a time. "First, how in the world did you schedule a meeting with only one letter?"

"That specific owl has a charm over it that allows it to send letters to all who are to receive them."

"Okay. And why did you cut your hand?"

It is necessary to writing my signature on a letter. There are many curses and charms on my name, Harry. I must make sure I am the only one who uses it, and one thing that is unique for each person is blood."

That made enough sense, but I still didn't like it. Only one more thought was in my mind, and I was almost scared to ask it. "What things are going to be straightened out?"

Tom smiled and took a bite of the pale yellow meal in front of him (which he finished chewing before he spoke, leaving me in anticipation). "Harry, I know you may not have noticed how I have changed, because you have a way of seeing things in a different way. But what happened is something I will not let happen ever again. And so, I am ridding of the Dark Lord."

The words made it into my ears, and to my brain, but didn't really process until a bit later. We had both made it through about half of our food when it hit me. He wasn't going to be Voldemort anymore. He was changing his ways. I smiled, not because I had won (or whatever), but because I had never expected to actually accomplish what I had. Tom was different now; I had taught him more than just the Patronus charm. He knew what love was, and he could trust me, and was willing to give it all up for me. And he was wrong, I had seen how he had changed, I just hadn't seen it for what it was. It made me glad that I had shared the only things in my life that had kept me from losing everything, even if I had questioned them at times. Things would be different now.

"Tom," I looked up and met his eyes that may have been staring at me for the past minute. They were still so soft, and not cold like they had been. "I have an idea of what we can do after that meeting."

He raised his eyebrow. "Again? But we have already done that once today…"

I laughed. "No, not that. Although that does sound nice... I was thinking something else."

"What were you thinking of?"

"You'll see after the meeting."

While we finished our breakfast, and I mentally checked off the problems I had.

_ #1: Convert Tom to "The Light" before he converted me to "The Dark": DONE!_

_#2: Tom wouldn't spare Snape's life: Solved_

_#3: Torturing Pettigrew, check. And would I do it again? Fuck yea._

_#4: Tom wouldn't tell me what happened in the meeting: Fixed_

_#5: Well…I guess this is all worked out now. Pretty sure._

_And now for some new problems (of course)._

_#6: What would everyone think about me and Tom?_

_Well, maybe if they see Tom isn't evil anymore, then they will be pretty okay with it (assuming they accept the fact I'm gay). _

_#6: Show public Voldemort is dead._

_#7: My bastard of an uncle still lives._

_#7: That can easily be taken care of (once I find out where he is)._

_#8: School starts in a week and a half._

_…bloody hell..._

_#8: Buy books and things as soon as possible and have Hermione catch me up on anything we might have to know before school starts._

_That's pretty much it._

We had finished our breakfast and I went to my room. Usually, right before a meeting, my black cloak was folded on my bed, but today, it wasn't.

_Tom, where is my cloak for the meeting?_

_'You will not need it, Harry. I am going to introduce you to them all.'_

I had a sort of panic attack. _Yes, because that went so well the last time…_

_'Harry, trust me. Nothing will happen to you. Every one of them will either accept you and these changes, of they can rot in my dungeon.'_

I smiled. So much had changed, but then again, it seemed almost like nothing had.

* * *

><p>3rd Person POV:<p>

Harry found the owl he was supposed to have received a while ago from Hermione. He felt the note was most likely stale, but he would have to send the owl back with something, of course.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I still had your owl. I never read the last note, but I don't really think I need to anymore. Things are much better here. Tom told me he is going to change the way he is doing things, and completely rid of the Dark Lord. Snape really helped us with what we were dealing with, and I am happy with the results. I would tell you to explain us to the rest of the Weasleys, but I'm afraid Ms. Weasley would have a heart attack if you don't convince her Tom isn't evil anymore first. I will definitely be back at school when it starts. Write back soon._

_Love,  
>Harry<em>

He tied the letter to the owl, and walked out the door with it on his arm. It took off as soon as he opened the door, and he made his way to the spacious room for the meeting that had already started. He and Tom had agreed that he should not just stand there when everyone is arriving, because someone would be stupid enough to shoot him with something or other. He stood just by the arch, so he couldn't see, or be seen by, the Death Eaters below him. He waited for Tom to call him down.

"This guest that I have is most certainly not a secret to some of you, but for others I warn you. If you as so raise your wand at him, you will suffer through pain you have never before felt. I do not care of your opinions, and thoughts. I do not want to see you lift a finger in the wrong direction." '_Harry, you may come down now. But have your wand ready. I fear they still may not quite expect you.'_

Harry pulled his wand out of his pocket and took a deep breath, preparing himself for dangerous spells to be cast at him. He stepped around and took his first step down the stairs. There were several gasps and very many surprised faces.

"**_Expelliarmus!_**" Someone he could not recognize from where he was standing had shot at him.

"**_Finite Incantatem._**" A quick reaction Harry thanked his skilled reflexes for.

"Theodore, I will have your head on a plate." Tom's tone was still as threatening as ever. Tom was fuming. He knew he never should have had Nott bring his son in as a Death Eater. He may have been clever, but this time, his cleverness had not done him any good.

Harry let his wand fall back to his side and continued down the stairs, keeping his eyes glued to the long table, just in case. But he did feel a bit sorry for Theodore. He was only trying to be a loyal follower, since he was unaware of anything that had been going on for the past week and a half. And now he was going to get in trouble for it. "He was only relying on his instincts, Tom. No need to punish him for something that could later save his life."

Theodore was still standing, not only shocked at seeing Harry, but also that he had stood up for him against the Dark Lord. He thought to himself how brave Harry was, seeing as how the Dark Lord could kill him at any moment. But then again, living was his specialty.

Tom (who Harry realized was wearing his cloak with the hood up) did not take his eyes off Theodore until Harry was safely down the stairs and in the chair to his right hand (since that was when Theodore finally sat as well). "This, as you may remember, is Mr. Serpens, from before. Only now, his true identity is revealed. Do not be alarmed, my Death Eaters. I realized you have seen him as the enemy, but there will be many changes occurring. I have seen the error in my ways, and we will be correcting them."

Snape, who was sitting on the other side of Tom, nodded to him and stood, turning to face them all. "We have proposed a new tactic completely. We will end this on coming war, and instead, work in the ministry to ensure we have as little to do with muggles as possible. Laws will be passed ensuring magical children born to muggles will be properly handled, as if their parents were wizards. Our cause will no longer be to destroy muggles and un-pure magical blood, but to prevent muggles from harming our future wizards and witches." He sat back down.

There were a few faces around the table who were angered, such a Bellatrix and some of the other fierce (and mental) followers, that they were no longer going to be killing muggles and mudbloods and half-bloods. More of the table was confused, but there were several relieved faces as well, such as the Malfoy family and the more scared followers (and definitely Theodore). They understood exactly what that meant, and the found it both shocking and rather nice.

"Those who oppose this," Tom's tone was still strict, but not as much. "May leave now without any consequences." Immediately, Bellatrix stood and apparated away, followed by Travers, and finally Alecto and Amycus. A moment of silence passed. "Anyone else? Go on, I will not try and find you. Please leave." Fenrir, Thorfinn, and Antonin (**2**) apparated away, leaving the table with a few more empty chairs. "No one else?" The rest of the table was unmoving. "Then let us continue."

The rest of the meeting was easy for Harry. They talked about other laws that should be passed, and what actions they should take instead of attacking. He was quite surprised to find that not all of the Death Eaters were as insane about blood purity as the ones who had left. He had completely based everything about Death Eaters on the stereotype set by them. Not one of the people at the table would be so bad to be associated with politically, and Harry figured that was why they were there.

After the meeting, Harry was so relieved. He sat in his chair as the last of them talked a bit more about the meeting to one another before they, too, left along with the rest of them. Only Harry, Tom, Snape, Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco remained. They all made their way to the private meeting room, where the adults discussed things about plans, and future actions. Harry was rather happy it was happening, but that didn't take the boredom away. He leaned against the wall and sighed, watching everyone take their seats (Snape in the grey chair, Tom in Harry's gold chair, Lucius in the green one and Narcissa in the black one). Draco, just as bored as Harry, decided to have a bit of fun pissing him off.

"My Lord, Mom, Dad, Professor, Harry and I do not want to interrupt your discussion. We shall wait outside until you are finished." Draco announced, leaving Harry looking at him with a _"When-did-we-agree-on-that"_ look.

They all nodded and went back their discussion. Harry reluctantly stepped outside after Draco, and shut the door behind them.

"You're not going to get your revenge on me for some god-awful reason, are you?" Harry asked.

Draco smirked. "No. I was just wondering how things went with your girlfriend after I told Lord Voldemort about her."

Harry stared at Draco, and almost burst out laughing. _If only he knew…_Harry decided to have a little fun with it. "Well, Malfoy, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Things are going great."

Draco was confused. _How is that possible? _He thought. _He should have been cut off from all contact with her, by now._ He hadn't the slightest idea that everything he was confused about (that had to do with Lord Voldemort and Harry) were all connected. "Potter, I'm not stupid, like you. I know for a fact he would have stopped you from sneaking out to see your girlfriend."

"Who said I was sneaking out?" Harry couldn't help but grin. He could only imagine Draco's face when he would find out.

"You're bringing her here?" The idea that Potter would be foolish enough to do that only added to Draco's satisfaction of when he would be able to tell Voldemort everything.

"Not exactly. And whoever said it was a her? I never did…" Harry watched Draco's face turn from amused to disbelieving.

"You…like blokes?" He asked, incredulous. He had always figured Potter had a thing for the Weasley girl. Never had it even crossed his mind…

Harry bit back a laugh and said, "Are you shocked? Honestly, it wasn't hard to see."

"Who…it's not the Weasel, is it?"

"Uh, no. He's my friend." That was a sickening thought. Not only could he never (EVER) see Ron like that, but he could only see Ron and Hermione. It was just wrong to think of anything else.

At this point, Draco was getting a little sick himself. Here he was, standing next to Harry, who was gay. He really hoped he wasn't finding any interest in him. He knew he was handsome, but he didn't want to attract anything but girls. "Who then?"

"You'd never guess it. Not in a million years."

Draco racked his brain. All of his friends had their matches already, so Harry couldn't be with any of them, and he had never seen Harry really interact with anyone else. There was no one from school he could be seeing. "Potter, tell me or I'll hex you."

"If you hex me, Tom will be mighty angry with you." Harry was hinting, but Draco didn't see it.

"Not if I tell him you are bringing a bloke over here."

"No. He would still be angry with you, and not me." Harry smile was so big, his cheeks hurt. He just loved annoying Draco (since it was his second favorite hobby at Hogwarts, right after getting into trouble). The frustration and confusion on Draco's face only added to his humor.

"What makes you say that?"

Just then, Lucius, Narcissa, and Tom stepped out of the Private meeting room. They had a very productive discussion, not only talking about the plans, but also about Harry and him. They were unfazed by it (in fact, Narcissa was almost excited), and nothing was different. Lucius nodded his goodbye to Tom and gathered his family together to apparate home. Draco took the opportunity to turn in Harry.

"My Lord, Harry had been bringing a bloke here. It wasn't a girl."

Harry laughed, really hard. _Tom, he doesn't know about us yet. And I'm not sure I have the heart to tell him. It's just so fun to joke with him._

Draco was only more confused about Harry's reaction. Was he trying to play it off like it was impossible? It wasn't likely to work. Tom merely smiled, which only added to the confusion train Draco was on (that oddly enough led nowhere, as he noticed). Tom let Harry finish his laughing fit before he grabbed his arm and pulled him into a heated kiss. Draco's eyes bugged and he looked to the floor. Harry quickly got lost, and forgot he was messing with Draco. When they pulled apart, Harry got a quick look at Draco's face (Priceless) before he left with his parents.

He smiled and shook his head. "I tried to tell him."

Snape walked out of the room at last, since he had been writing down some things he needed to create a new potion. He found Harry laughing like there was no tomorrow, and Tom unusually close beside him smiling. He didn't even try to question what had happened. He was sure he did not want to know. "My Lord, I have the ingredients that should work. I will have to test them, of course. I shall be in my lab if you need me." With that, he disapparated.

"Now that we are alone, Harry, what is it that you wanted to do?"

Harry's laughter had died down and was now just a large grin planted on his face, but he quickly thought of what Tom had asked, and something else came to mind, and his face fell serious. "Well, I would like discuss something, first."

Tom was concerned about Harry's sudden change in mood. What on Earth had plagued his mind? "Then let us discuss it."

"It's about a favor I asked of you." Harry eyes went as cold as the gem they resembled. "I want my uncle dead. And I can't do it alone."

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><p><strong>Finally! I get to kill Vernon! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <strong>

**XP I feel like crap. After practically dying yesterday, I came home and fell asleep, only to have a terrible nightmare (too much like Harry's nightmares). Not fun. So I got no sleep. Then I had to wake up again at 8am then go all the way until noon, and I feel like a zombie now. But I like writing (and you guys) too much to not update today. So this chapter is filled with my blood, sweat, and tears. Also for that reason, the grammar probably sucks butt, so I'm sorry for that. Review please. M'kay, thanks.**

**1. I will attempt to describe an orgasm, just for fun. ;) It's like your mind swallowed a rainbow, making it so bright and wonderfully empty, and the colors start leaking into your eyes, and everything becomes so much prettier. Then a fairy sprinkles fairy dust all over your stomach, so that it feels like it is going to fly away. Some mini rhinos get into your blood, and they all collected in your heart, causing a huge stampede there. And there is this sparkling feeling in your private parts (whichever you may have, being a girl or guy) that makes your other muscles jealous, so they all try to move and go there, but they can't. Then all the colors in your eyes become one, making white, and the fairy drops her bag of dust, spilling it all over your abdomen. And mini elephants join the mini rhinos in running back and forth in your heart. The sparkling becomes greater and greater, and your muscles try to move to it because they want to feel it so bad. Then the mini animals in your heart decide to sleep, leaving your lungs gasping for air, and the fairy dust starts to wear off, and the colors fade into normal brightness. :) That was fun.**

**2. I would just like to note that all Death Eater names mentioned are the names of real Death Eaters. Except Theodore. I just randomly made him one. :)**


	31. Sweet Revenge

**Chapter 31: Sweet Revenge**

**HEY GUYS! :D I feel amazing! Even if I have 3 new bruises, a cut, and have been outside in the 110 degree weather for hours. I had so much fun. And I spent a lot of yesterday writing the part of this whole story that I have been waiting for since I started. I can't wait! It's absolutely amazing. :) **

**YaoiCookies87: YES! It is FINALLY here! Hahaha. :) Thank you, I know my sex scenes are awesome like that.**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Thanks! Glad you liked it. Hehehe, Draco is just like that.**

**Threadbare Threnody: Hahaha, maybe? I don't know, I was just bored and decided to write that little description. ;) And thank YOU for reading!**

**TheUnknown03: Hahaha, yea, Draco's face: priceless. I spent a good amount of time writing the Vernon scene, because I await it just as much as you. :) **

**Rhead-a-holyc: Woah. :o You too? I'm glad I'm not the only one with freaky dreams. Hahaha, it IS harry's second favorite pass-time. :) Yes, let us KILL VERNON!**

**Guiltone: I love your in depth analysis of everything in your comment. Hahaha. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for finding my grammar mistakes. I would correct them, but I'm too lazy. ^_^ Hehehe, I'm glad your brain is happily melted because of my smut. :)**

**Aliengirlguy: Hahaha, Draco is always funny to mess with. *sigh* Whoo. I'm glad I'm not the only one who had dreams like that. :) I do too. Can't wait to kill that bastard…**

**And now for some awesome parts! *evil laugh* :) Enjoy…**

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><p>"I journey through the desert<br>Of the mind  
>With no hope<br>I found low  
>I drift along the ocean<br>Dead lifeboats in the sun  
>And come undone<br>Pleasantly caving in  
>I come undone<br>And I realize you're mine  
>Indeed a fool of mine<br>And I realize you're mine  
>Indeed a fool and mine<br>Heaven smiles above me  
>What a gift there below<br>But no one knows  
>A gift that you give to me<br>No one knows"

-_No One Knows_ by Queens of the Stone Age

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><p>Lord Voldemort's POV:<p>

"Come on! I want to show you something." Harry tugged at the sleeves of my robes like a child.

A small laugh passed through my lips. "I am right behind you. What is the rush?"

"I want to show you _really bad._" He practically pulled me up the stairs and dragged me down the hallway into the sitting room.

"Yes, this is my sitting room. What is there to show me?" Harry was so wonderfully childish; it made me realize how much of my childhood I never had. I was never like that. I was manipulative, and cruel, and evil, long before the idea of Voldemort had even crossed my mind.

"Watch." He was positively beaming. He cupped his hands, and out came a misshapen ball of light. He shaped it ever so delicately. He was focused (and adorable, may I say) on what he was making. I did not understand why we were in the still destroyed sitting room (I was still working on finding a spell to reverse burns on silk, which is so much harder to find out with this type of fire), but I would not question him. Soon enough, his hands stopped moving, and a smooth lump lay in his hand, some bumps near the bottom. If he was attempting to make a circle, he was far off.

I looked at him, his eyes so large and full of happiness, even if we had just discussed something very grim and serious. "What is it?"

He smiled, gently pet it, and it moved ever so slightly. He moved his hand, and a doe popped its head up, green lights for eyes. It pulled it legs out from under it, and attempted to stand up. It was rather enjoyable to watch the doe try and stand, for it was both enjoyable and humorous (when it fell). It finally stood up proud and strong, and trotted about the room, small lights falling behind it almost similar to sparkles, in a way. It was such an interesting little trick; I had never seen it before in my life.

"It's my mother."

I was confused for a moment, but I looked to Harry, and saw the somber expression on his face. Two pieces fit together in my mind, and I realized he meant that the doe was a symbol of his mother. I obviously did not have any reason as to why, but I intended to find out. "Your mother. How is this her?"

Harry sighed watched the doe circle down to the floor where all the little lights had fallen. "Snape told me my mother's Patronus was a doe, just like his. And the more I watch this doe move, the more I feel like she's here. Especially with its green eyes. Everyone who had ever known my mother told me I have her eyes." I looked back to the doe, and all the little lights surrounding it bloomed into tiny flowers. The doe ran around in them, frolicking like there was not a care in the world. "Snape also told me that when she was a child, she used to make flowers bloom all around her, even in the winter. That's how she found out she was a witch."

Something I had recently learned of washed over me; it was guilt. "Harry, I'm terribly sorry about what I did. I know that will never even begin to cover for it but-"

"Tom, it's alright," he interrupted. "I know you've changed now, and that's all that matters. Yea, I miss her, but I know she loved me, and that makes me feel like I never really lost her, even if I never see her." The deer vanished, leaving behind its flowers. "My mom did the same thing. She vanished, but she left behind all of her love."

Harry was so terribly caring, it was no wonder he could be so wise about such a foreign subject (to me, of course). He seemed to know everything there was to know about love; I felt so awfully inexperienced. I doubted a normal person of his age would carry such a heavy mind as he did, for Harry treasures everything he lost, and learned more about it over time, collecting this vast knowledge. He had taught me how to love, and yet he would not be the way he was without Voldemort.

Just then, an odd light came into the room. It was an otter, bearing a message for Harry.

"We're happy to hear everything is going good, Harry. You've always pulled through for us. Ron and I convinced most of his family that…" there was a slight hesitation in the vaguely familiar feminine voice, "…Tom isn't evil anymore. Only Ginny and Arthur are having a hard time with it. It does make sense, I suppose, but we're working on that. We haven't even touched the subject of you both just yet. And, if you're going to get to school on time, you better get your books as soon as possible, and read chapter 9 of your Charms book. I'm happy you both are doing well. Please respond." The otter vanished.

"You told your friends already?"

"Well, yea. They're my friends. They already knew about us anyway, so why not just keep them up to date? I wouldn't want them thinking you could still kill me at any time." He smirked as if it was a joke, but I only felt like it was a small regard of my terrible actions in the past; it did not make me feel better. "I supposed I should send my Patronus back then?" Harry pulled out his wand and poised it. "_**Expecto Patronum.**_" A white light came out, but instead of morphing into a stag, it became a beautiful cobra. Harry looked confused a moment, then looked to me, an incredulous smile on his face. "Look at what you've done," He said playfully. "I'm a bloody snake. Oh Hermione will get a kick out of this…" he sent it off, shaking his head, his lips parting to show his perfect teeth behind his smile.

I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. That was the largest compliment I had ever gotten (not regarding how fearful and evil I was, or smart and charming). "Harry, love," I said quietly into his ear. "You definitely should have been a Slytherin."

Harry laughed and pulled his head back onto my chest, his hands holding mine to him. "I don't think there are many Slytherins who will do as many stupid things as I have done. Only Gryffindors do that kind of stuff."

_Very true._ I placed a small kiss on his head, my face filling with his unruly black hair that smelt of water and fresh fall air. This moment was perfect; more perfect than anything else I had ever experienced. Harry was so simply himself, and I could never even begin to tell him how absolutely amazing he was to me, even if I had all the words in the world.

"Tom." Harry's tone was serious.

"Yes, Harry. I realize it is much later in the day, but let us enjoy a few more minutes of each other before we set out."

Harry smiled. "Alright." He turned to face me, still wrapped in my arms. "I love you. So much."

I pressed my forehead to his. It was such a simple gesture, but I would give anything just to stare into his emerald eyes like this. "I love you too. More than I could ever express."

* * *

><p>Severus Snape's POV:<p>

I had finally accomplished what I had planned to. It was a nice feeling, knowing everything had gone as planned, because it rarely occurred in such risky situations. There, of course, were obstacles along the way, but Harry always pulled through in the end. I'm not saying he went off to kill himself to change Voldemort back into Tom (that would be ridiculous), but somehow, Harry's actions always have unintended results that worked out for the better. He was so different from Tom and I; our actions always needed full planning to ensure they went right, and the results were never guaranteed. Not even other Gryffindors received such luck as he did. Harry was something unique to the world. He had lived his childhood not feeling loved, yet he was so caring it was hard to believe. I could never be so caring to others. Maybe a select few, but never as many strangers as Harry. He would risk his life to save someone he had never seen a day in his life. The thought appalled me, but then again, I was not much like him.

The meeting was fairly productive, and it made my steps lighter to tell everyone what Tom and I had planned before the meeting had started. There was a brighter future for the Wizarding world now, and it was within our grasp. The plan was to prevent magical children from living terrible lives before coming to Hogwarts. We did not want another Lord Voldemort (without love and forced to become evil) to rise, nor did we want another Harry Potter (lost and broken, but so absolutely loving and loyal it hurt to watch them be so hurt). We would stop this right at the source.

I was in my potions lab, with all of my ingredients. We had discussed many options on how to deal with the muggles who have magical children. One of the many was to create a potion that would allow only discreet amount wizarding knowledge to be passed to their minds and viewed at will, much like a pensive, but inside their skulls. With this option, the children will properly develop their magical skills. I had to invent the potion, of course, which would obviously require some testing, but it would be incredibly useful.

I had finished preparing my cauldron and started thinking to myself about properties each ingredient, and how long I should simmer, and when, what type of cutting knife, as well as an estimate of how long until it will be finished. I assumed it would take a few days, which would be plenty of time to allow the full potential of the potion to be reached.

I sat in one of my chairs, waiting for the first ingredient to settle. What would happen now? Harry and Tom wouldn't only be working together, they would be together. How would they be seen? Would our political intentions be contaminated by prejudice? I really doubted anyone could be prejudice against Harry Potter, but I would not put it past people. I understood Harry to be lucky, and very convincing, so I don't think a few ignorant people would be able to take away success.I sighed to myself, and went back to working on my potion._ Just as long as he refrains from anything people would frown upon…_

* * *

><p>Harry's POV:<p>

This house was vaguely familiar to me; it was probably some relative's house that I had been forced to visit. Tom was by my side, my wand in my hand, and nothing could touch me. Tom and I had planned this well. He had used a special spell on my wand (that would allow it 24 hours of spell casting that would not be able to be tracked), a silencing charm on the house, a plan for framing someone else, and his wand in his pocket in case I needed back up (or had one of my guilty Gryffindor moments, but I highly doubt even that would be able to stop me). I was beyond ready.

We walked up to the door, Tom using an invisibility spell, and I knocked on the door. There was a few moments of yelling inside, then some shuffling about, and finally the door opened. Dudley stood in the doorway, his eyes surprised to find me standing there. "What are you doing here?"

As much contempt that I held for him, he was not worth anything I could lash at him (except maybe that transfiguration spell that would turn him into a pig). I knew what I was here for, and there was no getting sidetracked. "I'm here to get something of mine."

"Look, we don't have your dead mom and dad here, so you can just leave."

I swear, if I could, I would wrap my hands around his throat until his face turned purple. But I couldn't. He was only ignorant, and spoiled; he didn't know what I was here for, otherwise he would have cowered in fear, or never opened the door. He wouldn't have dared crossed me, like he just had. "Shut up, Dudley. I don't have time for you." Something about my tone (or maybe my eyes) made him keep his big mouth shut, and step aside so I could walk through, Tom following right after me.

I walked into a disgustingly pink room. It was worse than Umbridge's office. And instead of plates with moving cats all over them, there were normal photographs of pink people, such as Dudley, and Vernon, but none of my aunt. My pig of a cousin walked over to where my fat uncle sat on the couch, watching television. He looked almost the same as when I last saw him, maybe minus a bit of hair, and that only made me want to kill him more. He was in good health, and I couldn't have that.

"Dad, Harry's here to get something."

He turned and looked at me, that same disgusted look he always gave me. Something flashed in his eyes. "Oh, really. And what is he here to get?"

I wanted to do it, then and there, but I forced myself to stay patient. "I came to get something I should have gotten a while ago, but didn't. You may have thought it was yours…" Tom sent a body-bind spell at Dudley, who froze without any sound, or sign; Vernon didn't even notice. "…but it's actually mine."

I didn't want to give him an easy death. There would be no Avada Kedavra here. I cast every excruciating curse I knew at him, watching his fat pink face scream for help, and his body freeze from the inside, then boil, then seize. He was getting what he had rightfully deserved, and I was the one bringing justice to him. His nose grew bloody, as did his mouth, and he started chocking on his own blood. Tom leashed out a spell to clear his throat. We didn't want him to die before we could have the chance to kill him. I wanted to see him in pain, worse than he had inflicted, and beg for mercy, like he never let me have. He would die a million deaths before I would finish with him. I sent a Cruciatus curse at him, the red light filling the darkness of the house with an evil hue. This was better than Pettigrew and that rat combined. I was enjoying every minute of this. Each moment he came closer to death was one I would make sure death was that much more out of his reach. I sent more curses his way; his bones would pierce his own skin, and then his organs would burn, and then his eyes would fill with blood instead of tears, causing them to blister. This was the day I had been waiting for. The day I had wished I could dream of. Finally, I let him beg for his death.

"Harry, you can't do this," he forced out through his melted throat. "I took you in. I saved you from that *choke* evil man. You should be thanking *choke* me."

"No. The only evil man was you, and you never saved me from him. You made my life a living hell. You deserve everything you get. _You_ should be thanking _me_. For allowing you to live so long. For allowing you to die now, instead of torturing you further. But I'm sure I could continue, if you prefer to live." I raised my wand again.

"No! *choke* Please!"

My wand arm fell back to my side. "Then beg for it." My voice dropped lower. "Beg for death."

"Please! *choke* Harry. Don't force me to suffer through this. *choke*"

"Close enough." I raised my wand once more. "_**Avada Kedavra!**_" The green light that matched my cold eyes shot him right in the heart, and he instantly died.

Dudley soundlessly looked, his eyes wide, but not able to move. I released the spell on him reluctantly. "Harry!" he squeaked. "You killed him! How could you do that? DAD!" He would have moved, but my wand was still poised. Tom levitated a knife from the kitchen, and stabbed it into Vernon a few times, just to cover it with his blood.

"_**Obliviate**_." Dudley's face went blank, and he stood staring right at the pink wall. Tom, who was behind him, carefully levitated the knife into his hand, and we made our exit.

* * *

><p><strong>YES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT BASTARD IS FINALLY DEAD! WE CAN ALL REJOICE! <strong>

**:) Thanks for reading. Sorry Snape's part was so short. I wanted him to open some questions and stuff, but I REALLY wanted to focus on Harry. Please review. M'kay, thanks.**


	32. Progress

**Chapter 32: Progress**

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I have a bruise on the fingertip of my middle finger, and one on the knuckle of my pointer finger. It hurts to type unless I don't use them, which makes my typing awkward and slow. :( It's no bueno. I'm still gonna get this chapter out, of course, but it may have some grammar and spelling problems (and take forEVER!). Sorry about that. **

**YaoiCookies87: I'm glad you love it so much. I sure did. :) And you'll see hoe Hermione reacts to Harry's new Patronus. You'll see…**

**Rebekahalana: Lol. He sure did. I'd say poor Duddykins, but I rather hate him, so I won't. :)**

**TheUnknown03: I'm sorry his death didn't meet your awesomness standards. But it is Harry after all. He's not like Bellatrix. I'm sure she would have done so much worse… :)**

**Aisling-Siobhan: Hahaha, yep. Framing Dudley is very much like a Voldemort plan. And I like your random rambling. :)**

**InsaneCHickOfWriting: You are the first vote for a sequel! (Actually, the first vote at all :o) I've had so much free time to write, but that's gonna change pretty soon. I might not even start writing anything again until next summer. Terrible, I know, but I'm going to be busy like no other. **

**xxSnowxxAngelxx: Hahaha, yes, revenge IS sweet. **

**Rhead-a-holyc: Yep. Dudley is for sure going to be blamed. And Harry wouldn't use an imperious curse on him to kill Vernon. Harry wanted to kill Vernon himself. :)**

**Ashie-slytherin-greenflames: Mwahahahahaha! Very nice…and evil. :D**

**Aliengirlguy: Thank you. I will. :)**

**Guiltone: I try. :) Hahaha. Yes, Harry is waaaaaay too nice for his own good. You practically read my mind with the whole event for Tom to show how good he really is. That's coming up here in a sec. Just wait. ;) Thanks for all the compliments! :D**

**Next chapter everyone! Enjoy! :D**

Hermione Granger's POV:

We were so thankful to get Professor's update. Harry and Tom (I still felt so weird using his given name) had made up, and Ron and I could sleep easy, because, honestly, we did not even try to rest after Snape sent us away. As soon as we heard the good news, Ron instantly fell asleep, and I followed after him. I woke up realizing how long it had been since I had slept. It was refreshing. We joined the others in having breakfast, and afterwards we told everyone about Tom.

That, of course, did not go so well. No one instantly believed us (not that I blame them), but I convinced most of them that Tom had, in fact, given up his evil ways because Harry had shown him there were more important things in life. I didn't mention that they had any sort of relationship; that would best wait until later. They all came around one way or another. Arthur and Ginny, however, being the only ones to be attacked by the Dark Lord (or his snake) personally, did not even consider it. I could understand why, but I was getting frustrated. Why would they not believe Professor Snape, or me, or even Ron? People can change.

Later in the day, Ron found Octans chasing a rat out in the field (we had no idea how long he had been out there). I almost showed everyone the note, just to show Harry had actually done it, but there would be a lot of questions as to what he was talking about explaining, and why it would give Ms. Weasley a heart attack. I wanted to hear from Harry right away, and so I sent him my Patronus. Ron and I waited outside for his reply, since we were more than sure he would mention something the others would rather not hear just yet.

"'Mione, how are we gonna tell them about Harry and…Riddle?"

I sighed. "I haven't the slightest idea, Ron. We're just going to have to tell them and hope they handle it well."

We sat shoulder to shoulder just before the edge of the field. Looking out at the tall (and practically dead) plants, I saw a flash of light rush our way.

"Harry's reply is coming." I pointed for Ron to look, but the light moved unusually for a stag. It was faster, it seemed.

It stopped before us, revealing its snake form. "'Mione, I don't know if it's Harry's…"

"I know this isn't my normal animal…" it was positively Harry's voice "but I have an explanation for it. Remember how Tonks's Patronus changed into a werewolf because she loved Remus? Well, I think the same might have happened to me. So, don't have a heart attack; it really is me, Hermione. Thank you for sparing them the shock and managing to convince most of them Tom is good. Tom called an emergency meeting and prepared some things he wants to fix in the Ministry. Snape provided much of the plans and basic motives of the plan. We all want to help magical children from having horrible childhoods, like we had, and help muggle-borns grow knowing their abilities so they can get a handle on them before they start at Hogwarts. I think it's an amazing idea. If you could help at all, or possibly find someone who could help, that would be great. I'll get my books as soon as I can, but I won't have time to read that chapter. Just fill me in when I get there. Tell Ron I said hi."

And the snake was gone. That was an awful lot to take in with only one message. Harry's Patronus is a snake, Tom wants to help children, and finding someone to help him do that. I looked to Ron, and his face was thoroughly confused. He was rather cute with his mouth twisted like that, and his eyes just a little wider than normal.

"Bloody hell..."

I thought about who could help. They wanted to get something done in the ministry, so they needed someone who works there. And he would need people to win over to get some kind of law passed... "Ron, do you think your dad would help Harry help children by getting him a chance to talk to major ministry people, maybe even the Minister?"

"He might, for Harry. But he wouldn't do it for Riddle. He'd think you were mental for asking to help him."

I nodded. We went back inside to share the news.

"Oh good, you're both back. Did you get Harry's reply?" Ms. Weasley stopped her vacuuming charm to ask.

"Yes, we did. He said he and Tom want to help children have happier lives than they did, and help muggle-born children more knowledgeable about being magic. Do you think Arthur will help them? Or at least Harry?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I guess he would. The former Dark Lord really wants to help children? How odd…" with a wave of her wand, the vacuuming charm started again.

I glanced back at Ron, who still had a very confused look on. "Is your dad at work?"

"No. He should be home. Probably upstairs working still."

I nodded and went up the stairs, hoping he wasn't too busy; I didn't want to disturb him if it was really important work. I walked in just as he was tying a letter to an owl.

"Mr. Weasley, can I ask a favor of you?"

"Of course. Just a minute." He finished tying it, and released it out the window. He turned back to me. "What is it?"

"Well, it isn't really a favor for me. It's a favor for Harry. He…" I quickly came up with a story to tell him, that was some sort of true, but not quite. "He sent us a message saying he wanted to prevent any other Dark Lords from rising, and so he has some laws he wants to propose to the Minister."

Mr. Weasley placed a hand on his chin and raised an eyebrow. "What kind of laws would stop another Dark Lord from coming about?"

I took a deep breath. This would need some explaining. "Well, you see, Tom Riddle had a terrible childhood, and so he grew a sort of hatred for his muggle father because he left him and his mother. And that hatred for his father turned into just muggles in general, and anything to do with them. Harry believes that if the Ministry could keep a better eye on muggle-born children, and just magical children in general, then that would not happen again."

Arthur pondered this a moment. His brows knit together, and his eyes seemed to focus on an invisible point before his nose. After a moment he shook his head slowly. "Yes, I think I may be able to get some people to listen to him, as well as the Minister." He released his concentrated look and picked up a smile. "Harry's always doing good. He really has a heart of gold. Oh, I'm sure I could arrange a private speaking. Maybe not too private, though. I'm sure he would like to get the word around of what he wants to propose. Inviting a newspaper journalist may be in order…" He grabbed another piece of parchment out of the drawer, and picked up his quill. I watched as he scribbled down some words, stopping a few times to read it over and nod his head. At last, he folded it and placed it in an envelope, which he pulled out his sealing kit to place an elegant red seal over. He looked back to me. "Do you happen to have an owl I could borrow? I just sent mine off."

"Yes, of course. Octans!" He flew up through the window. How he got outside again, I will never know. Ron probably let him chase mice again in the field.

Mr. Weasley handed the very official letter to Octans, who carefully took it in his claws, and then flew off out the window. "Thank you, Ms. Granger."

"Thank _you_, Mr. Weasley. I'm sure Harry will be very happy about getting to talk to the Minister."

3rd Person POV:

"Is she fucking mental?" Harry's eyes were wide and his voice was a bit smaller than normal. "All I asked for was some help to spread the word. I didn't want a public speaking with newspapers and half of the ministry!" He had just received Hermione's Patronus, informing him all the "help" she had gotten him.

Tom merely smiled at him. "Harry, love, relax. This is a wonderful opportunity for you."

Harry grabbed his hair with one hand. "I can't speak in front of the ministry! I'll look ridiculous."

He grabbed Harry by his shoulders, forcefully, but sure not to hurt him. "You will be fine." Harry sighed and he released him. "You have the ability to convince even the most stubborn, unmovable person of something you believe to be true. I, of course speak from experience."

Harry looked to Tom. He was so nervous, and at times like these, he doubted himself more than ever. "But this is different, Tom. I have no idea how to give a speech to the Ministry. What if I say something I wrong, or mess up? Or worse, if they completely reject my ideas?"

It was hard to see Harry like this; thinking so low of himself, and doubting the power he actually held. Tom had no idea his love, who was usually so proud and courageous, could act so foolish. "Harry. I will tell you this now, and it shall be the only time I ever want to say this. You have so much power in the Wizarding world. If you as so desired to turn the sky green and the grass blue, there would be wizards from all around casting spells at them day and night, just to please you. I can promise, any argument you put up against the Ministry, even if some may oppose it, will have a large amount of followers."

Harry still wasn't so sure. He knew something would go wrong; there was no way he could convince the Ministry. _Then I will fight for it,_ he thought, his courage coming back to him. _This isn't about me. I have to do this to spare the innocence of children. Without me, they might become me._ And he definitely didn't want them to have to go through what he did. Such things are scars that can never leave, even with potions, and spells; it was always with Harry, even if he had forgotten what it was. He sighed. "Alright. I'll do it."

_/Exscellent (__**1**__)/_ Tom hissed in his ear. Harry loved having their very own language. They could talk all day about anything, and no one would have the slightest clue what they said (except maybe snakes). And the soft, whispered speech, formed with only a rarely skilled tongue, was ever so attractive for his ear, like music that sent warmth to his very soul.

Smiling, Harry pulled Tom to him by his robes. For now, he just wanted to be close to his love, because he understood he would not be able to later on. He wrapped his arms around Tom's neck, and put his forehead to his, closing his eyes and letting himself breathe. "Hermione said the speaking was tomorrow after lunch. That seems like so little time."

"Little time for what?"

"For spending with you before I have to go. I can't bring you with me. No one believes you're not still evil." Harry opened his eyes to look into Tom's. The sanguine shade overcame his view of anything else, and he enjoyed it; there was nothing he would rather do than stare into the flawless eyes before him (well, maybe _one_ thing, but they had already done that today).

"I know. I already miss you."

"But I haven't left yet. I'm right here." Harry grinned and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Tom kissed him back, with more passion. "Yes, and I love having you here. I never want you to leave."

"I'll always come back. I promise. I don't want to leave either, but I have to. Not just to talk to the ministry tomorrow, but also when I go back to school." Harry never wanted to even pull away from this moment. He wanted it to last a lifetime.

"Yes. School is important. And I agree you should attend seventh year. But you will be gone so long. I haven't the slightest idea what I will do here without you."

_Well, that is a great time to work on things in the Ministry,_ he thought to himself. And suddenly, an idea came into his head. He didn't know how Tom would find it, but he didn't want to be at school a day without him there. "What if you come over to Hogwarts to plan things with Snape? You could see me then, and really make some progress with the whole thing."

"What a very clever idea." Tom cuddled his nose his Harry's. "Are you positive you aren't a Slytherin? I am sure you are more than qualified to be one."

"Nope. I'm definitely Gryffindor. Although I might have been one if I hadn't told the Sorting Hat to put me elsewhere."

Tom chuckled. "I am sure you might have frightened them to death with your crazy adventures."

"Oh, yes. I think I can still scare Draco with them."

They held each other a year longer, never wanting to let go. There was a new sort of connection between them, now; one that would not let them separate without the air leaving the atmosphere, and the sky falling apart, and space closing in on them.

Harry's POV:

And I stood in front of the Minister, and my friends, and other wizards. My eyes scanned the room, not really searching for a certain face as much as seeing who had come exactly. A funny feeling came over me, like my lunch would come back to see me, but I held my ground against it. This was something I did all the time; it was nothing different from trying to convince a friend of something, or argue my point. This was one of my many talents, and I planned to take full advantage of it. Tom wasn't by my side, but it was better that way. I was the spokesperson here, and as much as I loved him, his appearance would not make my argument any less flawed.

"Thank you all for coming." That was all I could think to start with. "Something has happened, that many of you would have never believed could even be possible. There have been some rumors passed around, yes, and I am here to confirm those that are true and put those that aren't to rest.

"The one and only Dark Lord Voldemort," a cringe at the use of his former name from most of the room, "has officially resigned his evil ways, and now has a new goal to achieve. Yes, I am responsible for it," Rita Skeeter raised her hand to ask a question, but I ignored it. "I know it may sound too good to be true, but I give you my word, under Veritaserum the Ministry insisted I take, that he is no longer the Dark Lord. He is using his given name, Tom Marvolo Riddle, and his pure-blooded ideals have died with his former alias. He had truly changed."

Just then, Tom burst through the doors. There was a gasp throughout the room. No one had time to believe what I had said. He was there, and was still the one everyone wanted to rid of. The Minister was the first to raise his wand at him.

"_**Petrificus Totalus!**_"

_No!_ I screamed in my head. I didn't have my wand. They had taken it before I had gone up to speak. I was helpless. I couldn't save my love. Tom was frozen in place, helpless. Words finally reached my lips. "Stop! Let him go!"

Everyone turned to look at me. I heard all of their thoughts in my head. "_What is he thinking?" "This is the man who murdered his parents." "The Savior has left the Light." "He's betrayed us." "Stabbed us in the back." "We shouldn't trust him."_ I didn't know how to react. Everyone was against me, for once. I had no help, this time. It was just me, but I had no power here.

One of the Ministry officials raised his wand, and suddenly the air went cold, as if all the happiness was sucked from it. Glasses of water that sat on the table began to freeze over, and a shiver was sent down my spine. I knew these signs, and tears came to my eyes. I was so helpless. I couldn't send a wandless Patronus; I couldn't do anything.

A Dementor floated into the room, and people screamed and ran out. All that remained were me, Tom, and all of the Ministry officials, not even the Minister. I fell to my knees. "Don't so this! He's not evil anymore. He's changed! I swear!"

One of the men walked so he stood before me, his official black robes flowing almost as coldly as the Dementor's. "It does not matter what is now and what is then. He has murdered many people, and he must pay the consequences."

The Dementor had reached Tom, and began to suck his soul from his body. Tom couldn't move, but his eyes showed every ounce of pain that was filling them. Tom couldn't afford to lose his happiness, for he didn't have much of it. He lived such a terrible life, and now it would come back to haunt him before he died a horrible death. I begged and pleaded to the man to stop.

"I love him! You can't do this! He can't be punished for this! I love him…"

The man released his binds from Tom, and he fell to the floor crying in agony. His limbs gave way underneath him, and his back hit the unforgiving ground. I couldn't hear my screams anymore, but I knew I still made them. Tears poured down my cheeks, and my vision blurred just as a little blue ball of light came from his parted lips.

I woke up, my screams echoing throughout my room. Tears stung my eyes and cheeks, and soaked my bed sheets. My chest was pained and I was hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe in long enough to get oxygen, and my lungs were burning. Nothing was worse than what I had just dreamt. Watching that happen to Sirius was terrible enough, but Tom…

He was by my side. His arms wrapped around my neck, and his face on my shoulder. I wasn't so sure how long he had been there. His face was hot, and if I hadn't known any better, I would say his eyes were leaking. But surely that was only my tears soaking him. I wrapped my arms around him. He was the one thing I would never lose. I would never let him go. Never again.

**1 .That is spelled like that intentionally. It's supposed to have a kind of hissing sound after the x, so I put an s after it. I know that isn't how excellent is spelt. Just letting you know. :)**


	33. Golden Tongue

**Chapter 33: Golden Tongue**

**Hey Guys! Still not quite sure I should make a sequel. I only have one really terrible idea for what happens (not the one above), and I don't want to do that after all they've been through. It'd be just cruel. Harry would never forgive me. HELP!**

**Spent most of yesterday starting another story I thought of. I haven't published anything yet, but I have somewhat of a start. That's why I updated today. Sorry.**

**YaoiCookies87: Hahaha, sorry for giving you a mini panic attack. You'll see what they do about it. :)**

**Rhead-a-holyc: Nope. It didn't happen. That would have not been fun. Well, I have a REALLY awful idea for the sequel. It would make a great story, but it would be just terrible to do that to Harry. :(**

**Guiltone: I'm sorry I scared you. No, it was just a dream. :) You'll see how everything goes in the end. Thank you for your concern about my fingers! :D**

**Alright. Here's the last chapter before the end. :o Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

><p>"Maybe next year<br>I'll have no time  
>To think about the questions to address<br>Am I the one to try to stop the fire?  
>I wouldn't test you<br>I'm not the best you could have attained  
>Why try anything?<br>I will get there  
>Just remember I know"<p>

-_What You Know_ by Two Doors Cinema Club

"Sing it for the boys  
>Sing it for the girls<br>Every time that you lose it sing it for the world  
>Sing it from the heart<br>Sing it till you're nuts  
>Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts<br>Sing it for the deaf  
>Sing it for the blind<br>Sing about everyone that you left behind  
>Sing it for the world<br>Sing it for the world"

-_Sing_ by My Chemical Romance

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I woke up wrapped in Tom's arms. I was so thankful I didn't have another nightmare. I never did when I slept with him. It was surprising I was awake before he was. I sat up slowly, trying not to wake him up. That was a failure of course, and his eyes flew open to meet mine.

_Bloody hell._ "Morning Tom. Sorry I woke you up last night."

Tom closed his eyes and pulled me closer. I fell back to him and let my eyes close too. Something was wrong, I could feel it, but I didn't want to ask. Not yet. I needed to relax, and enjoy Tom's company before I had to leave.

We just laid there a while. It was great, but something hung over us, heavy and thick. I didn't want to bother him, but I had to know what was wrong. It was terrible enough to have a limited amount of time with him today, I couldn't stand if it was wasted because of something. This burden had to go.

"What's wrong, Tom?"

His eyes didn't open, but I felt his mind nudge against mine, asking for entrance. I let it in, and immediately felt many emotions come over me. They were so horribly familiar. Tom was sad, and depressed, and angry, and stressed. It was awful seeing these things come from him. I had always felt them, but I never wanted Tom to suffer like that. I searched for something to show me why he was feeling this way. I figured he might be overreacting to my leaving, but what I found only made me feel worse. He had seen my nightmare.

'Tom.' I whispered. Tears came back to my eyes. I hated my stupid nightmares more than anything. They had causes this. 'I would never let that happen. I would kill anyone who even tried to do that. I don't ever want to lose you.' My whispered voice was so cold, I could hardly recognize it. I didn't want to kill people, but I didn't want to lose Tom more. He was my whole world now. Why had my nightmare just set my world on fire?

Tom didn't respond. More tears came to my eyes. I was so stupid for letting my fears get the best of my sleep. If my stupid brain wasn't so mutinous, maybe Tom wouldn't feel this way. He would be happier, and only worrying about my leaving this afternoon. It was one thing for my head to torture me, but I couldn't let it torture Tom.

'I love you, Tom.'

'I know, Harry. I love you, too. But you have opened my eyes to see the wrong in this whole thing. I have done many awful things, and those things will always haunt me, no matter how I have changed. They will not forgive me as easily as you have.'

Fear. I felt it. Strong and dominant. It was everywhere in his mind, just as it is in mine. We both were scared of Tom dying. Another thing I had known, but not realized I had, was that Tom was frightened of death. That was why he made so many horcruxes, and why my death had changed him so much. It did not matter who he was, Tom or Voldemort; this fear was prominent in them both. I was only fearful I would lose him, and we would have to start from scratch once more, but he had seen Death more than once, and each time he made it away, clawing to the edge of life, begging to be brought back. It was more awful than anything else, but life was worth every pain and ache, to him. I had just shown him his greatest fear, and I hadn't even realized it.

'They will. I swear they will. If I can forgive you, they will too. They just have to know you like I do. They have to understand it.'

'They will never understand me. I was a monster, and that is all they see.'

'I'll make them see you now. I don't care how long it takes, or what they think of me. I'll show them.' I pulled his chin so our lips could meet, for a short, tender moment. 'I swear it.'

I had a new drive. This wasn't only for the children. I also had a name to clear, and I would make sure it was clear if it was the last thing I did. I got out of bed, much to Tom's dismay, and got ready. After brushing my teeth, and taking a shower, I dressed. Tom had given me some dress robes to wear to my speaking, and so I put them on. They were a nice emerald color, a bit darker than Professor McGonagall's, making my green eyes look like they belonged to a cat. I had no idea what to do with my hair though; it was as crazy and untamable as always. I just let it be after running my fingers through it. I thought I looked fine for the speaking. I went back out to my room, only to find Tom had not moved from my bed, but had now buried his face in my pillow. This wasn't like him. I was getting really worried. "Tom?"

'_What is it?'_

"Are you alright?"

There was a moment of silence, and I bit my bottom lip, hoping he would at least be truthful to me if he wasn't.

'_I am not sure.'_

I sighed and sat by his side on my bed. "It's all going to work out, Tom. I promise. And if it doesn't, we can always just hide here forever. With only each other's company. Maybe occasional visits from Snape. It would be so much better than having to go to school." I gave him a smile, because I meant it. It might have been very childish, but it was a serious offer. Nothing sounded better to me than spending the rest of my life here with him, and I was prepared to offer that as a back-up plan, since the first plan needed to work to help the future (and all that crap).

Tom turned over onto his back and his red eyes (both in color and condition) looked into mine. "That is a great idea, but it is not realistic in anyway." He sat up, his depression obviously over. That left me baffled. How in the bloody hell could he have a five minute depression? Mine usually lasted days, or weeks.

"So you're better then?" I'm sure my face more than conveyed my confusion.

"I suppose. Your offer made me realize how little else there is we can really do."

_That's always a happy thought._ I half growled, half sighed. At least he wasn't depressed on my bed anymore. But I had a feeling he still held those feelings, even if they were hidden. I shook my head. "Let's go have breakfast then."

Tom smiled, and my heart melted a little. He got off my bed easily (which brought up the question in my mind of how the hell he got out of his own bed, since it was about 10 times as wide) and stood. "I would love to, but if I am not mistaken, it's more around lunch time now."

"What?" I had less time than I thought. I had slept the morning away. Even if Tom was by my side, I wasn't conscious enough to enjoy it. "Bloody fucking hell…" I muttered.

He went over to my door, and I followed him out the door. We made it to the spacious room, and sat in our normal chairs. The elves popped in with our lunch, which was some kind of sandwich on oddly colored bread (imagine if wheat and grass had a baby; that was its color), and then popped away once more. I didn't feel too hungry (because I had a sort of speech to give to the Ministry as well as had a nightmare about Tom barging in and dying at the hands of a Dementor; not really boosting my stomach capacity), but I ate some anyway. It was delicious, as always (even if the bread was questionable).

I ate about half of it before I pushed it away. Looking over to Tom, I saw he had already finished his. I looked back to my plate and felt a bit wasteful, but before I could do anything, Sadie popped in, took the plate, and vanished. _And now,_ I thought, _I have a meeting with the Ministry._

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><p>I stood in front of the Minister, my friends, and other wizards. It was like fucking déjà vu. A funny feeling came over me, like my oddly colored sandwich would come back to see me, but I held my ground against it. Just because my dream looked almost exactly like this, didn't mean Tom would be foolish enough to barge in, right? He wasn't a Gryffindor; he would plan anything out, and make careful moves. That was reassuring that my stupidity wasn't contagious.<p>

"Thank you all for coming." _Bloody fucking hell,_ I thought to myself. _I'm using the exact same words too. Might as well. What else is there to say? _ "Something has happened, that many of you would have never believed could even be possible. There have been some rumors passed around, yes, and I am here to confirm those that are true and put those that aren't to rest.

"The one and only Dark Lord," I didn't want the room to cringe like they had in my dream, so I refrained from saying Voldemort, "has officially resigned his evil ways, and now has a new goal to achieve. Yes, I am responsible for it," Rita Skeeter wasn't there to raise her hand (thank _Merlin_) "I know it may sound too good to be true, but I give you my word, that he is no longer the Dark Lord. He is using his given name, Tom Marvolo Riddle, and his pure-blooded ideals have died with his former alias. He has changed." I took a deep breath. Those were the words I had said right before he burst in. I didn't, of course, wait long enough to see if he actually would (thinking if I said more words, it would be impossible to recreate).

"As his first act of reform," I sighed internally, grateful to have passed any further resemblance to my nightmare. "_We_ have some ideas to help magical children." A newspaper journalist raised their hand. Seeing as how it wasn't Rita Skeeter, I couldn't help but see what they had to ask. "Yes, you."

"It all sounds very impossible." The man had a chipper voice, somewhat like a bird. "I do question, however, if THE Dark Lord really is reforming, why children?"

I thought of how to explain this. "Tom and I…" more thought put to my words. "We had very poor childhoods. I'm sure you never took any time to learn much about his past, but he grew up in an orphanage. His mother had died, and his father was a muggle who had left his mother, for some god-awful reason. Tom didn't have any family. He may have had relatives, but no true family. I imagine his life at the orphanage was terrible, and he made up for it by bullying the other children using his magic. Dumbledore went to him to inform him of his powers, and of Hogwarts, and found he had no concept of love, or caring, but an excellent control over his powers.

"He went to Hogwarts and never really fit in anywhere. But he was smart, and charming. No real friends, only followers. And he learned of his terrible father, and grew a sort of hatred for anything muggle. That is where his power mixed with hate, and his evil began. His followers grew, and he had influence. And the rest, you all know.

"My history, however, is more public. Yes, I was a baby, and yes, the Dark Lord killed my parents, and then tried to kill me, and I lived. But the rest is assumed to you all. You assumed I lived with caring family, and they raised me like their own child, and I was happy being a wizard, and having parents who cared so much for me they sacrificed themselves to save me. But what you don't know is it's all a lie.

"I grew up in a home where my family hated me, and my magic. They abused me, physically and verbally. They told me my parents died in a car wreck, and that I had barely made it out alive. I didn't know I was a wizard. They even tried to keep me from finding out. But I did, and I went to Hogwarts. When I came back, they didn't so as much as look at me. I was beyond neglected. I practically had to survive on my own."

I looked around, at all the people before me. They all seemed really shocked (except for the journalist, who has several quills going at once). I almost lost my train of thought, until remembered what I was originally talking about. "The only difference between Tom and I, was that once I learned my parents had made the ultimate sacrifice, I knew how much I was loved. Tom never had that. And now, we want to stop other children from heading in the same direction. We may have had terrible childhoods, but that doesn't mean they have to. They are our future." At this point, I had pretty much lost my drive. I gave up talking, and decided it was a great time to answer questions. I pointed to a Ministry official, who looked more like she belonged in a nursing home rather than a political meeting. "Yes."

"Your story was a very touching one." She smiled, resembling a sort of grandma who had just made oatmeal raisin cookies. "I'm sure we would all like to know, how did you manage to convince Mr. Riddle to give up being Dark Lord?"

_Bloody hell…_ I was really hoping that question would not come up. "I…showed him that…there are more important things in life than power." I looked about and found Hermione's face. She looked exactly like I felt. Ron was next to her, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. No one saw these reactions (thankfully) since they were in the very back.

"What kind of things?" The lady asked.

_Cornered._ There were two options. The first was lie, which was a terrible solution. The second was to just come out with it, but that of course was out as well. _Maybe I can work around the answer somehow…_ "Well, I had this theory. Tom didn't have the motivation I had to…not be evil. I figured the things I had that kept me motivated were friends, happiness, and understanding. It took a while to show him what each one meant, and how they were strengths, not weaknesses. I started with happiness. It was rather simple. I taught him the Patronus charm. Every time he was truly happy, the charm would work, and he would come so much closer to seeing its benefits. Next was friendship. I showed him the difference between friends and allies. (Hehehe) Then understanding. But we realized, we already had that. We had similar experiences, and it wasn't too hard to have him understand how differently I handled everything."

I felt more like I was just rambling, but everyone seemed rather content with my answer (especially the journalist. I figured I would regret having him there later on). I looked back out to Hermione and watched her sigh with relief, which made me sigh in relief.

Farther in the back, hidden behind so many people I couldn't see their face, a hand raised. "Yes, you back there."

Tom stood up. I swear I almost yelled out, or smacked myself in the face, or both. _Obviously, just because he's a Slytherin doesn't mean anything. My stupidity is apparently VERY contagious._ But no one made a move, except to look at him. I was confused a moment before it dawned on me; No one knew what he looked like, now that he was Tom Riddle. Not to mention his eyes were brown now, not red.

He cleared his throat before speaking. "You said you and Mr. Riddle had some reforms. What might those be?"

I quickly hid any surprise my face showed (hopefully with success) as everyone looked back to me. I somewhat saw where Tom was going, but didn't know fully. I played along as best I could. "Tom actually didn't discuss it with me, but with the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Severus Snape. I really don't know."

A small, barely noticeable grin came onto the corner of his mouth. "Then may I suggest some that would more than help your cause?"

I almost smiled back, but tried with all my effort to contain myself. I really did love him, and his perfect planning. I never would have thought he could have just slipped in right under everyone's nose to tell me what sort of laws he and Snape had talked about. "Of course."

"To stop children from having a childhood like yours, which is very terrible may I say, it would help if there is a renewed department to track magical children who live in muggle homes, and ensure their parents know of their child's abilities before they turn eleven and attend Hogwarts, so they may properly handle their children, and not learn to have a hatred for magic.

"And to prevent them from following in Mr. Riddle's footsteps orphanages will need to maximize their adoptions. This could easily be obtained by," he paused, as a small smile creeped onto his face. "…allowing gay couples to adopt. The children will get to have a caring home, and not grow up feeling unloved."

I was speechless. I wanted to run and kiss him right on the lips, but that would really not be a good idea. He wanted to adopt a child? I smiled. "That sounds perfect." I looked straight through his fake brown eyes, and imagined his beautiful crimson ones were looking at me, instead. He knew, more than anyone else, how to make my day. How to make my life. _I love you so much_, I thought to him. _Yes_.

The Minister stood, and Tom sat. He looked at me, and quickly tried to place a business face on (and probably failing miserably). "Yes, well, thank you, Mr. Potter. We will discuss this in private now." He looked rather irritated, like I had just offered to take his job, even if I wasn't even of age yet. _Aw bloody fucking hell_, I thought. _How can we adopt a child if I'm not even of age yet?_

Everyone filed out of the room, except the Ministry officials. I was the last one out, and I immediately was looking for Tom in the crowd. Instead, I found Hermione and Ron.

"Harry Potter, I just about lost it in there. What in the world were you thinking?"

I shrugged. "It wasn't my idea. I almost lost it, too. He apparently decided to surprise me."

Ron shook his head. "Honestly, mate. I practically had a heart attack."

I laughed. "Me too."

Suddenly, something pulled me back, and I was apparated. When I landed, the beautiful hills surrounded me, and the trees swayed in the breeze, and the grasses smelt so fresh. A large, goofy grin came over my face. I turned to face Tom, his eyes red once more, and planted a kiss on his amazing lips.

"You scared me half to death. And then made me so unbelievably happy..." I kissed him again, and he smiled underneath it.

"I thought of it this morning. Before you woke up. I could not resist."

"You bastard." I muttered. "I love you." I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt so amazingly happy, I was more than sure this would work to cast my Patronus. I could cast a hundred Patronuses. His arms wrapped around my waist, and we just held each other. It was unreal how much I loved him.

Tom chuckled softly. "Harry, love."

"Yes?"

"You are just like your mother."

I looked at him confused. I've always heard I was like my father, but never like my mother. Plus, he didn't really know either of them. "Why do you say that?"

His flawless smile shone brighter than the sun above us. "Look down."

I did, and saw a patch of flowers blooming around us; little white daisies, and bright red pansies, and purple wildflowers. They were still spreading, little buds magically fading onto the grass and blooming farther and farther out. My smile faded a bit, only to come back just as strong. "I guess I am." I looked back to Tom. He was my everything. And we had accomplished so much, even if nothing was finalized yet. Now, I could spend the rest of my week (and a half) with him before school started. Then, the rest of my life.

_Things I love in this world:_

_Watching the leaves in autumn_

_My friends and family (alive and not)_

_Magic_

_Riding a broom_

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

_My new future (with Tom)_

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><p><strong>:) Was that cute or what? Next is the end. :o Hope you liked that chapter.<strong>


	34. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**This is the end (of this story anyway). Enjoy!**

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><p>"These words are my own<br>From my heart flow  
>I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you<br>There's no other way  
>To better say<br>I love you, I love you"

-_These Words (I Love You, I Love You)_ by Natasha Bedingfield

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><p>Harry's POV:<p>

I had finally finished school, and was thankful for it. I don't think I could have lasted a minute longer without seeing Tom and Nanda (**1**), even if Snape (who was acting less like an annoyed Professor with a terrible student, and more like a fatherly figure) had allowed them to visit once a week. Even so, I hadn't seen them in a month, because Hermione insisted I be focused on exams. I could care less about passing them or not. My life would never require me to know any of that stuff. My whole life was simply Tom and Nanda.

I got off the train at Hogwarts for the last time, and waved my goodbyes to Ron and Hermione, who had finally gotten together (after liking each other for years). They hugged me, and left with the rest of Weasley family. They were like my second family; they had accepted me through thick and thin, even when I told them about Tom and I. But I had to find my own family. I looked around the crowd of people bustling about, but didn't see my love anywhere.

I saw a flash of light. A basilisk slithered in midair, moving to avoid going through people. I smiled and went to it.

_/My love, we are over here./ _it said.

It slithered back to its origin, and I followed it. And before me was Tom, his scarlet eyes as amazing as ever and his hair absolutely perfect as always, and Nanda, our five-year-old adopted son, with his small pale arms reaching out for me. "Papa, I missed you!" His earthy hazel eyes were wet and his short, light brown hair was an absolute mess.

I laughed and picked him up. "I missed you, too. Why is your hair so messy? It looks worse than mine."

"He was rolling down the hills today, and pulling the leaves off the trees and making them dance around him. So if you happen to find bits of leaves in there somewhere, make sure to get them, or else we might never find them again." Tom smiled. "We both really missed you."

I placed a kiss on Tom's lips, not caring who saw. Everyone knew anyway (we had come out right after the laws had been passed; the newspapers went nuts for weeks). "I missed you guys too. But now, school is finally over, and I don't have to go back. I can spend all my time with you both."

Tom apparated us home (which Nanda had become used to since we had introduced him to it day one, a few months ago). We arrived in the sitting room (which was finally fixed) and I plopped onto the couch, Nanda still in my arms. We looked out my window, watching the grass shine in the soon-to-be-summer sun. Tom sat next to us, and I put my head on his shoulder. Everything I could ever want was right here. I smiled and felt so much happier to finally be back home where I belonged. I closed my eyes and enjoyed every passing second, because once they were gone, I wouldn't get them back. I could finally rest easy and love my life.

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><p><strong>And now it's over. Really short, I know, but it clears up a lot, right? Aw, I just want to cry! I'm so happy! T-T Hope you guys liked it! Please give me ideas if you want a sequel. I don't think my idea will work at all. M'kay, thanks!<strong>

**1. It means "Joy" in Sanskrit. Found it online. :)**


	35. New Forum

myforums/Gaaralovesmeonly/3029360/

This is the link to my new forum where we can talk about Harry and Tom stuff, or anything really. :) please come and participate if you can! I would love you guys forever!

Just put www then a dot then fanfiction dot net, then a slash, then paste that behind it. It should work.


	36. My Letter to You

**My dear readers, **

**I would just like to thank you so much for reading my stories. :) It really means a lot to me that you like them. **

**If you have any ideas for me, or comments, anything at all, don't hesitate to send me a PM. I'll get back to you right away. :)**

**Sincerely,  
>Gaaralovesmeonly<strong>


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